Nonsense Books Part 3

There was an Old Man of Peru, Who watched his wife making a stew; But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake That unfortunate Man of Peru.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of the North, Who fell into a basin of broth; But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook, Which saved that Old Man of the North.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Person of Troy, Whose drink was warm brandy and soy, Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon, In sight of the city of Troy.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Person of Mold, Who shrank from sensations of cold; So he purchased some m.u.f.fs, some furs, and some fluffs, And wrapped himself well from the cold.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Person of Tring, Who embellished his nose with a ring; He gazed at the moon every evening in June, That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Nepaul, From his horse had a terrible fall; But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue They mended that man of Nepaul.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of the Nile, Who sharpened his nails with a file, Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi, So blind that he couldn't his foot see; When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"

That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Calcutta, Who perpetually ate bread and b.u.t.ter; Till a great bit of m.u.f.fin, on which he was stuffing, Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Person of Rhodes, Who strongly objected to toads; He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens, That futile Old Person of Rhodes.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of the South, Who had an immoderate mouth; But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish, He was choked, that Old Man of the South.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Melrose, Who walked on the tips of his toes; But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present, You stupid Old Man of Melrose."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of the Dee, Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea; When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet, Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was a Young Lady of Lucca, Whose lovers completely forsook her; She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"

Which embarra.s.sed the people of Lucca.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Coblenz, The length of whose legs was immense; He went with one prance from Turkey to France, That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Bohemia, Whose daughter was christened Euphemia; But one day, to his grief, she married a thief, Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Corfu, Who never knew what he should do; So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown, That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Vesuvius, Who studied the works of Vitruvius; When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took, That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Dundee, Who frequented the top of a tree; When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose, And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Lady whose folly Induced her to sit in a holly; Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn, She quickly became melancholy.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man on some rocks, Who shut his Wife up in a box: When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt You will pa.s.s all your life in that box."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Person of Rheims, Who was troubled with horrible dreams; So to keep him awake they fed him with cake, Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Leghorn, The smallest that ever was born; But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy, Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man in a pew, Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue; But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces, That cheerful Old Man in a pew.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There was an Old Man of Jamaica, Who suddenly married a Quaker; But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"