Nonsense Books Part 2

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There was an Old Man in a boat, Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"

When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint, That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

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There was an Old Person of Buda, Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder, Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.

By smashing that Person of Buda.

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There was an Old Man of Moldavia, Who had the most curious behavior; For while he was able, he slept on a table, That funny Old Man of Moldavia.

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There was an Old Person of Hurst, Who drank when he was not athirst; When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"

That globular Person of Hurst.

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There was an Old Man of Madras, Who rode on a cream-colored a.s.s; But the length of its ears so promoted his fears, That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

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There was an Old Person of Dover, Who rushed through a field of blue clover; But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees, So he very soon went back to Dover.

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There was an Old Person of Leeds, Whose head was infested with beads; She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool, Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.

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There was an Old Person of Cadiz, Who was always polite to all ladies; But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water, Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.

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There was an Old Man of the Isles, Whose face was pervaded with smiles; He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle, That amiable Man of the Isles.

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There was an Old Person of Basing, Whose presence of mind was amazing; He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed, And escaped from the people of Basing.

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There was an Old Man who supposed That the street door was partially closed; But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats, While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.

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There was an Old Person whose habits Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green, Upon which he relinquished those habits.

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There was an Old Man of the West, Who wore a pale plum-colored vest; When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"

That uneasy Old Man of the West.

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There was an Old Man of Ma.r.s.eilles, Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils: They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish, And sent to their Pa at Ma.r.s.eilles.

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There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather, Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"

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There was a Young Lady whose nose Was so long that it reached to her toes; So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady, To carry that wonderful nose.

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There was a Young Lady of Norway, Who casually sat in a doorway; When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"

This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

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There was an Old Man of Apulia, Whose conduct was very peculiar; He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns, That whimsical Man of Apulia.

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There was an Old Man of Quebec,-- A beetle ran over his neck; But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"

That angry Old Man of Quebec.

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There was a Young Lady of Bute, Who played on a silver-gilt flute; She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs: That amusing Young Lady of Bute.

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There was an Old Person of Philoe, Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm, And observed all the ruins of Philoe.

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There was an Old Man with a poker, Who painted his face with red ochre.

When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply, But knocked them all down with his poker.

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There was an Old Person of Prague, Who was suddenly seized with the plague; But they gave him some b.u.t.ter, which caused him to mutter, And cured that Old Person of Prague.

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