Nightmare - A Novel Part 21

Kendi faltered. Her wings folded slightly and she was falling. She snapped them outward again and- wings?

-righted herself. Hot, dry air rushed over her feathers. The ground was far, far below, but her eyes made out every detail. Even tiny movements grabbed her attention- feathers?

-and the five people below her stood out in sharp detail. One of the people looked upward and staggered a bit. Dark skin, slender build, curly black hair. Falcon eyes met human eyes, and falcon Kendi dove straight down. Human Kendi raised an arm and falcon Kendi landed on it with a flurry of wings and feathers. The moment falcon Kendi touched down, a moment of dizziness swept over her. She was sitting on a wiry forearm- she?

-and at the same time standing on hot Outback sand. The dizziness pa.s.sed and she clacked her beak. Human Kendi hesitantly touched falcon Kendi's feathers and falcon Kendi half-closed her eyes, leaning into the comforting touch.

Other humans gathered around, staring. Falcon Kendi watched them through hooded eyes, suspicious. Then human Kendi flung his arm up and with a high, shrill cry falcon Kendi flung her wings open and clawed the air for alt.i.tude. In moments, she was high in the free, clear sky.

Kendi shaded his eyes in astonishment as the falcon dwindled into a tiny black speck against the blue. He could no longer feel her mind, but he remembered gliding on the air and dropping down to land on her brother's arm. Every memory the falcon had was also his own. A breathless excitement rushed through him like adrenaline. Ultralights and aircraft didn't even come close.

"What the h.e.l.l?" Jeren said beside him.

"She's my sister," Kendi said, awed. "When we touch, I know what she's thinking. Wow! Wow! Wow!"

"Where did she come from?" Willa asked.

"I don't know. She was just ...there." He noticed the itch behind his eyes was growing stronger. His drugs were wearing off. If he didn't leave the Dream soon, he would eventually be yanked out of it, and all his teachers said it was an unpleasant way to leave the Dream. Some Silent ended up bed-ridden for days from the shock. "I have to get out of here. My stuff's wearing off."

"Yeah, me too," Kite said. "Let's talk in the solid world."

Kendi shut his eyes. If it be in my the best interest and in the best interest of all life everywhere, If it be in my the best interest and in the best interest of all life everywhere, he thought, he thought, let me leave the Dream. let me leave the Dream.

He opened his eyes back in Ara's living room. The rain had slowed to a few big drops that pattered against the window in irregular splashes. He disentangled himself from the red spear as the others began to open their eyes and stretch. Clanking sounds issued from behind Ben's closed bedroom door.

"Whatappen?" Kite blurted.

"Yeah," Dorna said, perching herself cross-legged on the sofa. "What was that falcon all about?"

Kendi fidgeted. It was hard to sit still. He got up and paced the floor. "I'm not sure. I felt like I was being pulled in two directions at once, and then suddenly I was in two places places at once. I was me, and I was also the falcon. It was ...it was a real rush, you know?" at once. I was me, and I was also the falcon. It was ...it was a real rush, you know?"

"Should we try it again?" Kite said, slowing down. "Go back into the Dream and see if Kendi can bring back the falcon?"

"We should call a teacher," Willa said quietly. "Mother Ara or one of the other Parents."

"Mother Ara's out with-" Kendi paused. "She's out. I don't know how to get hold of her. I want to do it again."

"Maybe Ben would know how to get hold of her," Willa said. "You should have someone with you, Kendi. Someone who knows what's going on."

Impatience seized Kendi. He wanted to get back into the Dream. He wanted to fly again, feel the air rush past his head. But he had to admit there was merit in what Willa said. He crossed quickly to Ben's door, knocked once, and opened it. Ben, face red with exertion, set down the barbell in surprise.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Kendi quickly explained. Ben got up and came into the living room. "I've never heard of anything like that," he said. "But I'm not-not Silent, so there's a lot I don't know."

"Can you get hold of your mom?" Kendi asked.

"Maybe." Ben tapped the living room wall and a section glowed into a viewscreen. "Eliza, page Mom. Tell her to call home."

"Working," said the house computer. Several moments pa.s.sed and Kendi continued to fidget. The Dream was calling to him. He barely noticed that he was standing close enough to Ben to feel his body heat.

"Mother Araceil is unavailable," the computer reported.

"No surprise," Ben muttered. "She's never available."

"Try Father Ched-Hisak," Willa said. "Or Grandfather Melthine."

Ben relayed the instructions. "Father Ched-Hisak is unavailable," said the computer. "Grandfather Melthine is unavailable."

"Well, s.h.i.t," Jeren said. "Come on, Kendi. It's not your fault you can't reach them. Let's go and see what you can do."

"We should wait," Dorna cautioned. "Nothing's going to change between now and when someone shows up."

"I agree," Willa said. "It could be dangerous."

"It didn't hurt me before," Kendi pointed out. "It felt great! I want to go back in now and make sure I can do it again."

Ben put a hand on Kendi's arm. "You might want to wait," he said. "It sounds to me like you're splitting up your mind, and someone with experience should watch you."

"You can watch my real body," Kendi told him. "I'll wear a medical monitor and you can keep an eye on the readout. If something starts to go wrong, you shout for help."

"I don't-" Ben began.

"Ben, I have to go in," Kendi said. "I can't hold off. Come on-help me out. Please?"

Ben gave him a long look, uncertainty written all over his face. After a long moment, he nodded. "All right. I'll get the monitor."

Kendi grabbed him in a rough hug. "Thanks!"

"Okay, okay," Ben said breathlessly. "Not so rough!"

Kendi instantly let go and felt his face grow hot. It had felt so natural to embrace Ben that he hadn't even thought. But Ben's reaction hadn't been positive. He hadn't even hugged back.

I guess, Kendi thought, that answers my question about him. Well, we can still be friends that answers my question about him. Well, we can still be friends.

Ben, meanwhile, left the room and came back with the wristband sensor and the readout monitor. Kendi slipped the band on and went back to the others in the living room, his enthusiasm a little dampened. Ben followed. The Silent trainees were already arranging themselves on chairs and couch. Jeren handed Kendi his red spear and red dermospray.

"Let's do this b.i.t.c.h," he said.

"We meet," Kendi said firmly, "on my turf," and the others nodded.

Once Ben determined that the readout unit was working properly, Kendi positioned himself on his spear, injected himself, and shut his eyes.

If it be in my best interest and in the best interest of all life everywhere, he thought, let me enter the Dream. let me enter the Dream.

A few moments later, the five students were once again standing beneath the golden sun and azure sky of Kendi's Outback. Kendi dressed them in the usual khaki explorer outfits, though he himself was shirtless, with bare feet and white shorts. Going naked or wearing a loincloth in front of a Ched-Balaar was one thing. Doing either in front of his fellow human students was quite another.

"How it work?" Kite said. "What did you do?"

"I'm not completely sure," Kendi admitted. "It happened when I was trying to find Dorna." Something occurred to him, and he turned to face her. Her dark hair curled out from under her pith helmet. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" she asked.

"Make it seem like you're in two places at once. Is it like the way you can interfere with people finding you?"

She shook her head. "I don't know what you mean."

"Whenever I tried to find you in the hide and seek game," Kendi said, "it felt like you were in two or three different places. I meant to ask you about it, but then the falcon showed up and I forgot."

"I don't do any such thing," Dorna said. "Really. Maybe you're just misreading, or you're sensing people who have similar thoughts to mine. I mean, you've only been using the Dream for a week."

Kendi's first thought was that Dorna was lying. But here in the Dream, lies were impossible.

"Yeah, okay," he said. "Let me try it again."

He closed his eyes and tried to recall the sensation of being pulled in two directions at once. It should have been hard-they weren't playing the game anymore and Dorna was standing right beside him. But it turned out be easy. A few seconds later, a high scream shrilled on the wind, and the small falcon circled overhead. Kendi opened his eyes.

"Is that you?" Willa looked up, shading her eyes.

"Yeah. I know she's there, but I can't tell what she's thinking. Not right now."

"She?" Kite said.

Kendi nodded. "The falcon's a female. I don't know why. She just is."

An internal voice poked at him. Is it because you like men? Is it because you like men? But Kendi pushed the thought away. The falcon was who she was, and that was all. He pursed his lips and whistled. The falcon instantly dove for the ground. Kendi held up an arm and she landed, making a surprisingly light, feathery bundle. The moment she touched him, he felt himself both standing on the ground and perched on his own arm. Memories of rushing air and hot sun coursed through him and he staggered a little. The falcon flapped her wings to keep her balance until the vertigo pa.s.sed. Her talons were long and sharp, but they didn't do the least bit of injury to Kendi's arm. But Kendi pushed the thought away. The falcon was who she was, and that was all. He pursed his lips and whistled. The falcon instantly dove for the ground. Kendi held up an arm and she landed, making a surprisingly light, feathery bundle. The moment she touched him, he felt himself both standing on the ground and perched on his own arm. Memories of rushing air and hot sun coursed through him and he staggered a little. The falcon flapped her wings to keep her balance until the vertigo pa.s.sed. Her talons were long and sharp, but they didn't do the least bit of injury to Kendi's arm.

Why should she? he thought. he thought. She's me. She's me.

The others moved closer to examine the falcon and made impressed-sounding noises.

"She's you?" Willa said.

"That's what it feels like," Kendi said.

"You're schizo," Jeren put in. "s.h.i.t, you've split your mind into pieces."

"I'm not crazy," Kendi said defensively. "What the h.e.l.l kind of remark is that?"

Jeren shrugged. "I just call it like I see it."

Ripples washed through the Outback and Kendi spun around. The falcon flapped again. Approaching them was a man. Kendi automatically drew back. It was the dark man, the one who had killed Vera Cheel. He was coming to get- "Hi!" the man called. "Can I approach? Is everything here okay?"

It wasn't the dark man. This man was tall and blond and he wore blue overalls. A belt of tools hung around his waist and he had large, callused hands. Kendi remembered him. It was the man whose turf Kendi had stumbled onto during the game a while ago.

"We're okay," Kite said. "Come over. Who're you?"

"Name's Buck," he replied. "My turf's just over that way and I felt something weird, right? So I thought I'd come over and make sure everyone was okay."

"We're fine," Jeren said. There was a strange note in his voice that Kendi couldn't identify.

"Okay. Good." Buck stuck his hands in his pockets. "Nice bird."

"Thanks." Kendi stroked the falcon's feathers and she cheeped once at him. "I just got her."

"She's a part of you, hey?"

"I guess." Kendi paused. "How did you know that?"

Buck shrugged. "I can feel it. How come she takes a falcon form?"

"I don't know," Kendi admitted. "I'm new to this."

"You aren't a Child of Irfan, are you?" Jeren said evenly. It was more a statement than a question.

"Nope. I'm independent. Do some contract work when I can get it, right? Look, kid, you've got something new here, something I don't think anyone's seen in the Dream, and I'll bet there's a lot more you can do with this."

"Like what?" Kendi asked.

"Well, this is a kind of shapeshifting, for one thing." Buck scuffed at the ground with his work boot. "A part of your mind's taken another shape in the Dream, yeah? Unless you're a falcon in the solid world and the human human I'm talking to is the little splinter." I'm talking to is the little splinter."

Kite snorted.

"Right," Kendi said with a smile. "So?"

"So what if your animal friend-animal self self-here can take on other shapes? Other animals."

Kite whistled. Willa twisted a lock of hair and sat down on a rock. Kendi blinked at Buck, suddenly remembering the dream he had had when the camel changed into a crocodile. Mother Ara had said the realistic dreams were a partial entry into the Dream itself. Had he already been doing this?

"I wouldn't even know how to start," Kendi said at last. "I mean, I just today got-"

"It'd be easy, yeah?" Buck interrupted. "You want something else-a grizzly or a tiger."

"Or a drop bear," Dorna put in.

"Uh, how about something smaller?" Willa said nervously. "Maybe a kangaroo. I saw a picture of one once. They come from Australia, don't they?"

"So you imagine it happening," Buck continued. "Just like you imagine people wearing the clothes you want or your turf being whatever shape it takes. Which reminds me, kid-why don't you turn the sun down a little? I'm sweating my a.s.s off, yeah?"

"That's the Outback," Kendi said. "Love it or leave it. How do you know so much about shapeshifting?"

"I have friends who do it," Buck replied. "You gonna try it or what?"

"What's your interest in this?" Jeren demanded.