Mr. Punch's Life in London - novelonlinefull.com
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_A._ According to circ.u.mstances, from three-fifths to nineteen-twentieths of his easily-secured takings.
_Q._ And what does promotion do for the promoter?
_A._ It usually bestows upon him temporary prosperity.
_Q._ Why do you say "temporary"?
_A._ Because a pleasant present is frequently followed by a disastrous future.
_Q._ You mean, then, that this prosperity is like the companies promoted, "limited"?
_A._ Yes, by the Court of Bankruptcy.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "ON 'CHANGE"
_Brown._ "Mornin'. Fresh mornin', ain't it?"
_Smith._ "'Course it is. Every morning's a fresh morning! By-bye!"
[_Brown's temper all day is quite unbearable._
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Sympathetic Pa.s.ser-by._ "But if he's badly hurt, why doesn't he go to the hospital?" _British Workman._ "Wot! In 'is dinner-time!!"]
ADVERTIs.e.m.e.nT PERVERSIONS (_By Dumb-Crambo, Junior_)
[Ill.u.s.tration: Washing wanted]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Vacancy for one pupil]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Improver wanted in the dressmaking]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Left-off clothing]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Branch establishment]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Engagement wanted, as housekeeper. Highly recommended]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Board and residence]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Unfurnished flat]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Smart youth wanted]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Mangling done on the shortest notice]
RIVER STYX.--"The thousand masts of Thames."
THE MAN WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEND TO A SeANCE.--The man who knows how to hit the happy medium.
APPROPRIATE _LOCALE_ FOR THE DAIRY SHOW.--Chalk Farm.
A TIDY DROP.--A gla.s.s of spirits, _neat_.
[Ill.u.s.tration: LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT TO BE
_Designed by Mr. Punch's Special Processionist_]
[Ill.u.s.tration: ANOTHER SUGGESTION FOR THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT TO BE]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "'Nuts for the monkeys, sir? Buy a bag o' nuts for the monkeys!"
"I'm not going to the Zoo."
"Ah, well, sir, have some to take home to the children!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: HYDE PARK, MAY 1
_Country Cousin._ "What is the meaning of this, policeman?"
_Constable._ "Labour day, miss."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Boy_ (_to Cabby with somewhat shadowy horse_). "Look 'ere, guv'nor, you'd better tie a knot in 'is tail afore 'e gets wet, or 'e might slip through 'is collar!"]
