Mother's Remedies Part 190

THE SIMPLEST OF WEDDINGS.

Now, although we have told how the church wedding and the ordinary home wedding are conducted, it does not follow that one may not have a much simpler and yet a pretty wedding, with less "pomp and circ.u.mstance" and consequent expense.

Wherever a girl has a home, she should be married from it. This is her due, as "daughter of the house."

She may make the simplest possible preparations; may be married in her best dress, not new for the occasion. She may omit all attendants, and invite less than half a dozen of her friends; she may receive them herself and at the appointed hour simply stand up and be married to a blushing young man in a business suit, and afterwards cut her own cake, and then proceed to her new home, which may be a little flat or a cottage. But she should have the ceremony performed by a clergyman in her father's house.

If she has no parents, no home, merely a room in a boarding house, she and her affianced may go to a clergyman's house and be married there. The church and the law should sanction the rite; therefore she will not permit herself to be married by a magistrate or a justice of the peace.

As for "sneaking off" and being married without the knowledge of one's parents, this is both disrespectful and unkind--a poor return for their care of her.

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WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.

The fashion of celebrating a succession of wedding anniversaries has pa.s.sed its high tide and is on the wane. Nevertheless, the custom is not out, by any means. The tenth, twenty-fifth and fiftieth anniversaries, known as the tin, silver, and golden, are those most frequently observed.

The first anniversary of the wedding day gives occasion for a paper wedding; the second is cotton; the third leather. The fourth is omitted; the fifth is the wooden wedding; next to be observed is the tin, celebrating the close of the first decade. The next skip is to the china, when twenty years have elapsed; and the quarter century of wedded happiness is recognized in the silver wedding.

The wooden and tin weddings are occasions of great hilarity, and mean a general frolic. The former began years ago with the gift of a rolling-pin and a step-ladder. The gifts are of those practical, useful articles that replenish the kitchen, though handsome gifts are of course easily selected. Carved wooden boxes, handsome picture frames, articles of furniture, are at the service of those who choose to pay their price.

Invitations to a wooden wedding are sometimes written or printed on birch bark or thin strips of wood, or are engraved on cards which imitate wood in appearance. The refreshments have been served on wooden plates procured from the grocer. So far as possible the wooden idea is carried out.

Tin Weddings.--Gifts for the tin wedding are of course in that material, and there is a wide range of choice. The tinsmith is often called upon to manufacture fantastic articles, anything to raise a laugh. Thus one couple were adorned, the wife with a set of tin curls, the man with a tin hat. A tin purse enclosing a check for "tin" was once presented to a tin bride on the occasion of her tin wedding. The freakish fancy of one's friends is generally much in evidence at a tin wedding. As at the wooden wedding, the bride cuts a wedding cake decorated with a monogram formed of the initials of her own and her husband's name, and the year of the wedding and of its anniversary. Refreshments may be served from tin dishes, and the guests provided with tin plates.

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The Silver Wedding.--Cards for a silver wedding are printed in silver, or in black on silvered cards--the former being in better taste. The form--which may be used for all with the variation of but one word--that designating the nature of the anniversary, is as follows:

1885 Mr. and Mrs. Smith 1910 request the pleasure of your company on Thursday, February the twenty-fourth, at eight o'clock.

Silver Wedding.

George Smith Anna Hall

As the couple who celebrate are generally in the prime of life, and their friends of about the same age, a silver wedding is usually a very enjoyable function. The many beautiful articles now made in silver afford a wide range of choice in the way of gifts, both valuable and in those inexpensive trifles that please everybody because so artistic. Silverware is marked with the initials of the married pair, often enclosed in a true lover's knot. Toilet articles, pomade jars, silver jewelry, spoons, silver parasol and umbrella handles, picture frames in silver, rings and bracelets, besides the manifold pieces for table use, offer a wide individual range in choice and price.

The supper at a silver wedding is quite elaborate. The bride that was cuts a wedding cake in which a silver piece is baked; the person who gets it being expected to live to celebrate his or her silver wedding. Speeches are made, often an original poem read, and not infrequently the health of the pair pledged in a gla.s.s of wine.

Golden Weddings--Occasions for the celebration of fifty years of union are much rarer than any other. Nor are they wholly joyful. The aged couple are looking from "life's west windows" at a fast declining sun. A few short years and it must set for them. The festivities are usually planned and carried out by their descendants, who so far as possible summon to the celebration the friends of "Auld lang syne," the clergyman who performed the ceremony and any of the bridal party yet alive, and the dearest friends of the present. Invitations in the conventional form are printed in gold letters; often a monogram formed of intertwined initials is placed between and a little above the years at the top of the invitation. The wedding cake has a yellow frosting, or if in white, the monogram and the years--1860-1910--are in yellow to represent gold.

Gifts in this precious metal are naturally circ.u.mscribed, but a gold coin is apropos, particularly if Fortune has been chary of her favors. In the seventh and eighth decade people have small use for bijouterie.

A golden wedding must be a sad anniversary to the partic.i.p.ants. When they were wedded, they were looking forward, joyously; now they recall the past, its losses and trials and misfortunes. They remember the children who are dead, or far away; or the prosperity once theirs, but now fled.

Few old folks would care to celebrate their golden wedding; it is usually some well-meaning grandchild who sees in it "an occasion." Often, too, the excitement, the fatigue, the unusual strain on mind and body, result in illness which sometimes proves fatal.

The Courtesies of the Occasion.--There is no formal etiquette for any of these anniversaries. Friends, as they arrive, are greeted by members of the family; then, in the case of the elderly celebrants, are conducted to them as they sit side by side, and presented. Failing eyesight and dulled ears demand this. The congratulations are offered, and good wishes for the future. If any speeches are made, they should be brief, that neither the old couple or their guests be over-fatigued. The stay should be brief.

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Gifts.--Gifts for the anniversary wedding are sometimes sent the day previous, sometimes carried in person. Anything fantastic is generally presented at the gathering, to contribute to its hilarity. The silver wedding gifts are nearly always sent in advance, and are displayed on a table, the cards of the donor usually being left on them. The recipients are to tender their thanks in person or by note.

Every effort should be made to have these festivities joyous. Especially should the wife subdue her emotion if the review of the years since her bona fide wedding day have seen the loss of beloved children. She must stifle her sad recollections for the sake of her guests.

The members of the bridal party, the more honored guests at the first wedding, the clergyman who officiated, are sought as welcome guests at the anniversary. The bride that was wears something she wore on the first occasion. If the wedding dress and the bridegroom's suit have been preserved they are worn--and wonderfully quaint they often look, so great the change in fashion.

CHRISTENING CEREMONIES.

"Our birth is nothing but our death begun, as tapers waste the moment they take fire."

--Young.

The arrival of the stork with the new baby is an event of vast family interest, especially if it is the first visit of the bird to the domicile.

In America it is not customary to announce a birth in the newspapers, as is often done in England, especially among the n.o.bility. The personal friends of the parents receive the visiting card of both, or of the mother only, to which is attached a small card bearing the baby's full name and the date of his arrival. These are enclosed in an envelope, this again in an outer one, and mailed.

It is proper for those thus notified to call at an early date to inquire as to the well-being of mother and babe. As it is not customary for the mother to receive any but a very few of her nearest relatives under at least three weeks, callers should not be expected to see her, but are to leave cards. A note of congratulation is often sent instead of calling, and offers to the ingenious and witty an excellent chance for the display of delicate pleasantry. Thus it is entirely proper to address the note to the baby, and congratulate him on having chosen such charming parents, and such a lovely home. Flowers are not infrequently sent to the mother, and little gifts--soft booties, little gold pins for sleeve and neck, little crocheted or knitted sacks, or dainty bibs--to the baby.

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The Ceremony.--The baby is usually christened when it is six or eight weeks old. Clergymen prefer this should be done at the church, and generally arrange to perform several baptisms at the same time--Children's Day being a favorite time. Otherwise, the christening usually takes place after the congregation is dismissed at the conclusion of a service. Only those interested and a few specially invited friends remain for it. There is no objection, however, to having a child christened at home, when the affair is made one of more festivity.

Most young married people prefer to have the clergyman who married them christen their first baby, when practicable.

Sponsors.--The baby's sponsors are chosen, by the parents' agreement, from among their relatives and close friends, almost always those of their own communion. The request is preferred verbally or by personal notes. A boy has a G.o.dmother and two G.o.dfathers; a girl two G.o.dmothers and a G.o.dfather.

Occasionally this rule is broken and a G.o.dmother alone chosen for a girl, and one G.o.dfather for a boy. G.o.dparents are supposed to stand in a more intimate relation to their G.o.dchildren than to others, and to take a more personal interest in them, especially in case of the parents' death. It is a serious relation, involving a certain religious responsibility, and is not to be lightly entered into.

The G.o.dparents are expected to make christening gifts to the child on his baptismal day. They are usually in the form of silver cups, porringers, silver spoons, forks, etc.; these should be solid, never plated ware. If the babe is named for one of its G.o.dparents, the latter is expected to do something handsome in the way of a christening gift. Sometimes a bank account is opened in the child's name, the sum deposited being left at interest until he becomes of age.

Church Christenings.--At a church christening, the babe is dressed in its handsomest robe and cap. Formerly the robes were very long and miracles of lace and embroidery; at present the finest of linen lawn or batiste, with a little real lace at neck and sleeves, and a bit of fine French embroidery, is thought in better taste, even in the case of the very wealthy. And many a blessed baby is given his name in a simple little lawn robe with no embellishment beyond a little tucking--done by the mother's own hands, perhaps.

The nurse carries the child into the church. Sponsors and parents group themselves around the font, which is often decorated with white flowers.

The G.o.dmother has the privilege of holding the babe until it is time to lay him in the clergyman's arms, the cap having been removed. The parents make the responses; after the naming the G.o.dmother takes the little one again, holding him until the close of the service. She should not wipe away any of the water placed on the child's head. A good baby is expected not to cry during the ceremony, and one advantage of an early christening is that the little fellow is less liable to be alarmed at strange surroundings.

The same forms are observed at a home christening, the hour being usually in the afternoon.

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A luncheon to which the clergyman and the christening party, and a few friends if desired, are invited, customarily follows the church ceremony--unless several children of other families are baptized at the same time--and always follows the home christening. It is not unusual to make some recognition of a clergyman's services at a church christening, and always is in order at the home rite, though it is not expected as a clergyman counts on his wedding fee.

If church or house is decorated for a christening, white flowers only are employed, in conjunction with palms and ferns to relieve them. White lilies are particularly beautiful. The table is adorned with white flowers; the cakes and bonbons are white. Any desired refreshments may be served, those for afternoon tea being suitable. That old-fashioned beverage known as caudle is never served at any other time. It is dispensed in bouillon cups.