Manners & Cvftoms of ye Englyfhe Part 2

[Ill.u.s.tration: _"SOCYETYE" ENJOYINGE ITSELFE AT A SOYReE._

FRIDAY, _June 15, 1849_.]

After a Dinner off Bubble and Squeak, my Wife and I to my LORD WILKINSON'S At Home, by invitation; though Heaven knows if ever I set Eyes on his Lordship in my Life or he on me; but do ascribe this Honour to having my Name put down in the _Court Guide_, and am glad to find the Consequence and Importance I have got thereby. I in my new Suit of Black and Silk Neckerchief, with a Fringe at the Ends, and my Wife did wear her Lace Dress over her pink Satin Slip, which was very handsome. Gave our Card to a Lackey in Yellow and Crimson Livery, with a huge Shoulder-knot, who did shout out our Name, which, pa.s.sing along a Row of his Fellows lining the Stairs, was by the Time it reached the Drawing-Room changed to PIPPINS--but no matter; and so we were presented to my Lord and my Lady. So on in the Crowd; for my Lord's Drawing-Room as thronged as the Opera Pit Entrance on a Thursday Night. Methought surely there was Something worth seeing and hearing; but saw nothing extraordinary beyond the Mult.i.tude of Company, and divers Writers, Painters, and other Persons of Note, elbowing their Way through the Press; nor heard anything but Puffing and Gasping, and complaining of the terrible Heat. Several Ladies fainting; and my Wife declaring she feared she should faint too, which made me mad; for it is always the Way with Women at Spectacles and a.s.semblies, and yet they needs must and will go to them. At some Distance before us, a Bustle and Stir, and in the midst of it a Lackey with a Tray, whereon were Ices--the People struggling for them; and I also strove to get one for my Wife; but the Attempt vain, and we borne clear away by the Current to the other side of the Room. Some young Beauties there, whom to have looked upon at my Ease, and they at theirs, would have been a great delight; but they in such Discomfort, that it quite spoilt their Prettiness, which was pitiful. We met DR. DABBES the great Chemist, with whom some pretty Discourse concerning the Air of crowded Rooms, which he said do contain a Gas called Carbonic Acid, and is poisonous, and we were now breathing too much per Cent. of it, which did trouble me. To think what Delight fashionable Folks can take in crowding together, to the Danger of Health, a Set of People, for the most Part, Strangers both to them and to one another! Away early; for we could endure the Stifling no longer: and good Lack, what a Relief to get into the open Air! My white Kid Gloves soiled, cost me 3s. 6d.; but am thankful I carried with me my Spring Hat, which do shut up; and did chuckle to see how many others got their Hats crushed. Home in a Cab, and on the Way bought a Lobster, whereunto my Wife would have me add a Bottle of Stout, which did think a good Notion; cost me together 3s. 6d., and the Cab 2s. 6d. more, and then to Supper; mighty proud that I had been invited by my Lord, though utterly tired with his Party, and so with great Satisfaction, but much Weariness, to Bed.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _A VIEW OF MR. LORDE HYS CRYKET GROUNDE._

MONDAY, _June 18, 1849_.]

This Day a great Cricket Match, Surrey against England, at LORD'S, and I thither, all the Way to St. John's Wood, to see the Place, having often heard Talk of it, and the Playing, which MR. LONGSTOPPE did tell me was a pretty Sight. Paid 6d. to be let in, and 2d. for a Card of the Innings, and bought a little Book of the Laws of the Game, cost me 1s.

6d. more, though when I had got it, could hardly understand a Word of it; but to think how much Money I spend out of Curiosity, and how inquisitive I am, so as to be vexed to the Heart if I cannot thoroughly make out every Thing I see! The Cricketing I believe very fine; but could not judge of it; for I think I did never before see any Cricket since I was a little Varlet Boy at School. But what a Difference between the Manner of Bowling in those Days, and that Players now use! for then they did moderately trundle the Ball under-hand; but now they fling it over-handed from the Elbow, as though viciously, and it flies like a Shot, being at least Five Ounces and a Half in Weight, and hard as a Block. I saw it strike one of the Batmen on the Knuckles, who Danced and shook his Fist, as methought well he might. But to see how handy some did catch it, though knocked off the Bat by a strong Man with all his Force; albeit now and then they missing it, and struck by it on the Head, or in the Mouth, and how any one can learn to play Cricket without losing his front Teeth is a Wonder. The Spectators sitting on Benches in a Circle, at a Distance, and out of the Way of the Ball, which was wise; but some on a raised Stand, and others aside at Tables, under a Row of Trees near a Tavern within the Grounds, with Pipes and Beer; and many in the Circle also Smoking and Drinking, and the Drawers continually going the Round of them to serve them Liquor and Tobacco. But all as quiet as a Quaker's Meeting, except when a good Hit made, or a Player bowled out, and strange to see how grave and solemn they looked, as if the Sight of Men in white Clothes, knocking a Ball about, were Something serious to think on. Did hear that many had Wagers on the Game, but doubt it, for methinks there had been more Liveliness if much Betting, and Chance of winning or losing Money. The Company very numerous, and among them some in Carriages, and was glad to see so many People diverted, although at what I could not tell. But they enjoyed themselves in their Way, whatever that was, and I in mine, thinking how droll they looked, so earnestly attending to a mere Show of Dexterity. I, for my Part, soon out of Patience with the Length of the Innings, and the Stopping and Interruption after each Run, and so away, more tired, I am sure, than any of the Cricketers. Yet I do take Pride, as an Englishman, in our Country Sport of Cricket, albeit I do not care to watch it playing; and certainly it is a manly Game, throwing open the Chest, and strengthening the Limbs, and the Player so often in Danger of being hit by the Ball.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _A RAYLWAYE MEETYNGE. EMOTYON OF YE SHAREHOLDERES AT YE ANNOUNCEMENTE OF A DIVIDENDE OF 2-1/2d._

MONDAY, _July 2, 1849_.]

Comes MR. STAGGE to take me to the great Railway Meeting at a London Tavern; and we up the Back Stairs to the Platform among the Directors, and glad of so good a Place; but fearing to be taken for one of my Company, did get behind a fat Man to hide myself. The Shareholders below met to hear their Affairs debated, and what a Collection of wry and doleful Faces! Methought the poor anxious Parsons and eager Half-pay Officers among them was a pitiful Sight. Looked hard about for the Railway King, but MR. STAGGE did say in my Ear he was not likely to show his Face. The Secretary reading Bills to be brought into the Parliament to join other Railways with this, and all the while interrupted by the Shareholders with Noise and Outcries; but at last got through. Then the Chairman did propose that the Bills be approved of; but an Amendment moved with much Clapping of Hands that the Meeting do adjourn for one Month to examine the Company's Accounts; which they do say have been cooked. Upon this a long Speech from a Director, denying that it was so, and One made answer to him in a bouncing, ranting Harangue; but to hear how the Shareholders did shout and cheer whenever he accused the Board of a Piece of Roguery! He complained that Proxy Papers had been sent out by some for Votes, whereby to gain their own Ends, at 900 Expense to the Company; whereat more Uproar, in the midst whereof he moved another Amendment; when the Noise greater than ever, with Groans and calling for Dividends; and several in the Meeting strove to speak, but could only wag their Jaws and shake their Fists at the Chairman, and he imploring Quiet in Dumb Show. Howbeit, one old Gentleman got Attention for a Moment, and in great Wrath and Choler did declare that the Directors'

Statement was all Humbug. Then Another, with much ado to get a Hearing, did move a third Amendment: and after that, more Wrangling and Jangling, until the only Man of any Brains I had yet heard, up and showed the folly of moving Amendment on Amendment. So the first and last Amendment withdrawn, and the second put to the Vote, and lost, and then the Chairman's Resolution put and lost also, and the Shareholders hooting and hissing, and shouting "Shame!" and crying that they could not understand the Question. So the Amendment and former Resolution both put over again, and both again lost; whereupon the Shareholders stark mad, and rushed in a Mob on the Platform, raving at the Chairman, who jumped up in his Chair, throwing his Arms abroad, and shrieking for Silence; till at last a Poll determined on to decide whether for Adjournment or not; and so the Meeting brought to an End in as great a Hurly-Burly as I ever heard; and a pretty Chairman methinks they have to keep Order, and brave Directors to cook their Accounts, and their Meetings do seem as confused as their Affairs; and thank my Stars, I have not sunk my Money in a Railway.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _A PROSPECT OF YE THAMES ITS REGATTA._

TUESDAY, _July 10, 1849_.]

Sent my Vest to the Tailor's to be let out in the Back, and my Wife and every Body say I grow too stout, which do put me in mighty Pain lest I should lose my Shape; wherefore I have resolved to take a long Walk daily, for Exercise, to bring down my Fat. So begin this Day, and set out to walk to Barn-Elms, by the way of Hammersmith, on a brave melting Afternoon. I did muse at the Carriages and Omnibuses that pa.s.sed me, crowded both inside and on the Roof, and the People upon them whooping and blowing Horns, as the British Public always do when they ride to see any Sport. At Hammersmith found what all this meant, everyone there hastening to the River, this being the first Day of the Thames Regatta, and the Suspension-Bridge thronged, and Festoons of Spectators on the Chains. Did go upon the Bridge, cost me 1/2d. toll, but would not have missed the Sight for 6d. or 1s.; for the Thames with Boats scattered all over it, their Flags fluttering, and their Crews shouting and laughing full of Fun and Glee, made a lively Picture; and also I was just in the Nick of Time to see a Race; four Boats of as many Oars darting under the Bridge at full Speed, while the Beholders cheered and halloaed with all their Might, and a Bell rung, and a Band of Musique upon the Bridge Pier did play "Love Not." Good Lack! how wrapped up the People did seem to be in the Race, and did now cry for Blue to go it; and then Red, and then Pink, and at last that Red had it, meaning the Colours of the Rowers, which indeed looked very smart and spruce. Over the Bridge, and, instead of to Barnes, down the River, along the Towing Path, which was also thronged with Folks running to and fro, all Eagerness and Bustle. So to Putney, and there the Mult.i.tude greatest both on the Bridge and the Sh.o.r.e, and FINCH his Ground to the Water-Side quite a Fair, with Fat Ladies and Learned Pigs and Gilt Gingerbread; and his Tavern beset by Customers for Ale, and mighty good Ale it is. Here more Boat-Racing, with Firing of Cannon, Jollity, Shouting, Jangling of Street Pianos, and everywhere Tobacco-Smoke and the Popping of Ginger-Beer. Some fouling of Barges, but no worse Mishap, though I expected every moment that Somebody would be ducked. Methought how neat and dainty the light Wherries and Wager-Boats did look among the other Craft; but loth I should be to trust my Carcase in a c.o.c.kle-Sh.e.l.l, that sitting an Inch too much on one side would overthrow. Mighty pleasant also to behold on the Water the little Parties of Beauties, rowed by their Sweethearts, under Awnings to shade them from the Sun, and the Ripple on the Water, and the Smiles on their Faces, and to hear their Giggling, which was a pretty Noise. Afloat everywhere in their Boating-Trim I did note sundry of those young Sparks that do and think and talk of Nothing but pulling up the River, and live upon it almost, like Swans or Geese. But, however, that Boat-Racing is a true British Pastime, and so long as we pull together he will back us against all the World. "And talking of that," says he, "the Sport being ended, suppose we take a pull at some of FINCH his Ale."

[Ill.u.s.tration: _A RAYLWAY STATYON. SHOWYNGE YE TRAVELLERS REFRESHYNGE THEMSELVES._

TUESDAY, _July 31, 1849_.]

Prevailed upon by my Wife to carry her to Bath, as she said, to go see her Aunt DOROTHY, but I know she looked more to the Pleasure of her Trip than any Thing else; nevertheless I do think it necessary Policy to keep in with her Aunt, who is an old Maid and hath a pretty Fortune; and to see what Court and Attention I pay her though I do not care 2d. about her! But am mightily troubled to know whether she hath sunk her Money in an Annuity, which makes me somewhat uneasy at the Charge of our Journey, for what with Fare, Cab-Hire, and Vails to DOROTHY'S Servants for their good Word, it did cost me altogether 6, 2s. 6d. To the Great Western Station in a Cab, by Reason of our Luggage; for my Wife must needs take so many Trunks and Bandboxes, as is always the Way with Women: or else we might have gone there for 2s. 6d. less in an Omnibus. Did take our places in the First Cla.s.s notwithstanding the Expense, preferring both the Seats and the Company; and also because if any Necks or Limbs are broken I note it is generally in the Second and Third Cla.s.ses. So we settled, and the Carriage-Doors slammed to, and the Bell rung, the Train with a Whistle off like a Shot, and in the Carriage with me and my Wife a mighty pretty Lady, a Frenchwoman, and I did begin to talk French with her, which my Wife do not well understand, and by and by did find the Air too much for her where she was sitting, and would come and take her Seat between us; I know, on Purpose. So fell a reading the _Times_, till One got in at Hanwell who seemed to be a Physician, and mighty pretty Discourse with him touching the Manner of treating Madmen and Lunatics, which is now by gentle Management, and is a great Improvement on the old Plan of Chains and the Whip. Also of the Foulness of London for Want of fit Drainage, and how it do breed Cholera and Typhus, as sure as rotten Cheese do Mites, and of the horrid Folly of making a great Gutter of the River. So to Swindon Station, where the Train do stop ten Minutes for Refreshment, and there my Wife hungry, and I too with a good Appet.i.te, notwithstanding the Discourse about London Filth. So we out, and to the Refreshment-Room with a Crowd of Pa.s.sengers, all pushing and jostling, and trampling on each other's Toes, striving which should get served first. With much Ado got a Basin of Soup for my Wife, and for myself a Veal and Ham Pie, and to see me looking at my Watch, and taking a Mouthful by Turns; and how I did gulp a Gla.s.s of GUINNESS his Stout!

Before we had half finished, the Guard rang the Bell, and my Wife with a start did spill her Soup over her Dress, and was obliged to leave Half of it; and to think how ridiculous I looked, scampering back to the Train with my Meat-Pie in my Mouth! To run hurry-skurry at the Sound of the Bell, do seem only fit for a Gang of Workmen; and the Bustle of Railways do destroy all the Dignity of Travelling; but the World altogether is less grand, and do go faster than formerly. Off again, and to the End of our Journey, troubled at the Soup on my Wife's Dress, but thankful I had got my Change, and not left it behind me at the Swindon Station.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _YE BRYTYSH GRANADIERS AMOUNTYNGE GUARD AT ST. JAMES HYS PALACE YARDE._

WEDNESDAY, _August 1, 1849_.]

Up mighty betimes, and after a four Miles' Walk, losing Weight like a Jockey, to the Palace Yard of St. James's Palace, to see the Soldiers mount Guard to guard the QUEEN, which they do every Morning whether she is there or no, and is a pretty pompous Ceremony. Found myself among as dirty shabby a Set of Fellows hanging about as I think I ever saw, with whom two or three with the Look of Gentlemen, and a pretty Sprinkling of Milliner-Girls and Nurse-Maids. Strange how all Women almost do run after Soldiers; which MR. PUMPKYNS do say is because Weakness do, by Instinct, seek the Protection of Courage; but I think is owing to nothing at all but the Bravery of a Red Coat. In a few Minutes more Riff-Raff pouring in; then a Noise without of drumming: and then just at 1/4 to 11, a Party of the Grenadier Guards marching in under the Clock-Tower, the Drums and Fifes in Front of them, and, at the Head of all, the Drum Major, twirling his Staff, strutted like a Pouter-Pigeon, as stately, almost, as ever I saw J. BLAND. The Men at the Word of Command ground arms with a Clang, and stood at Ease in Lines, and together with the Spectators made a Square, with the Drums and Fifes at one End, and the Band at the other by the Clock-Tower, and a Post in the Middle, and around the Post, with the Colours, the Officers in full Figg, mighty trim; and MR. WAGSTAFFE do tell me that the Guards have brave clothing Colonels. The Band did play while the Men that should relieve Guard were marching off; and I do muse why Soldiers are provided with so much Musique, and conclude it is to hinder them from thinking, and also in Battle to inflame their Minds without making them drunk. At five Minutes to the Hour comes the relieved Guard, and draws up ready to be marched away, and to see them backing for Room on the Crowd's Toes!

Droll, also, to watch the Marshalman, in his grand Uniform and with his Staff of Office, going about to make s.p.a.ce and keep Order among the ragged Boys; and I remember how, in my Youth, I thought he was a General Officer. More Musique, in the Meanwhile, by the Band; the Band-Master, a rare plump Fellow, in goodly Condition, conducting, with a Clarionet for his Batoon. Suddenly the Musique cut short by the Drums and Fifes, the Word given, and the Men did fall in, and away to Barracks, a Grand March playing, and all the Tag-Rag at their Heels. But to see the Lieutenant, the Officer of the Day, set up the Colours on the Post, and touch his Cap and kiss his Sword to them, saluting them, which do seem a senseless Pantomime. Besides, the Flag, a most old and sorry one, blown into Tatters, which, in our long Peace, must have been done by the Breeze and not the Battle; but so left, with a Grenadier to guard it, sticking in the Post. Then the Officer did dismiss the Off Guard, and away to his Quarters for the Day. Methinks that mounting Guard at the Palace is a Service of little Danger or Hardship; but, good Lack! to think what Fire-eaters in Battle are the Dandy Officers of the Guards, and how their Men will follow them through thick and thin, and what Work those Fellows can do when called on, that play Soldiers about St. James's!

[Ill.u.s.tration: _A PROSPECT OF A FASHYONABLE HABERDASHER HYS SHOPE._

TUESDAY, _August 7, 1849_.]

Finding Fault with my Wife, for that she do not use enough Exercise; whence her continual Headach, and FADDELL, the 'Potticary his bill of 5. She replying that I would never take her out, I said I would, whenever she liked; whereupon, we agreed to go a Walk forthwith, and my Wife did propose Regent Street. So we thither, pleasing ourselves with observing the Pa.s.sers-by and the Carriages, and the Streets blazing with fine Ladies and flaming Liveries. Going by LINDSEY AND WOOLSEY'S, my Wife's Eye taken with a Scarf in the Window, and would stop to look at it with a Crowd of other Women gazing at the Finery, which MR. SKITT do call Baits, and a Draper's Shop a Lady-Trap. Presently she recollected that she wanted a Collar; so we into the Shop, where some sixty or eighty Ladies sitting before the Counters, examining the Wares, busy as Blue-Bottle Flies at a Sugar-Cask. Behind the Counters the Shopmen and a.s.sistants, showing off the Goods, and themselves also, with mighty dainty Airs, every one of them, almost, NARCISSUS his Image. One of these dapper young Sirs did help my Wife to her Collar, cost 3s. 6d.; when she thought she had better get another while about it, cost 3s. 6d.

more. Then, says he, in his soft condoling Voice, "What is the next Article?" Hereupon, my Wife bethought her of lacking some Lace Cuffs, four Pair: cost 12s. "And now, Mem," says the young Fellow with a Simper, "allow me to show you a Love of a Robe, a Barege, Double Glace, brocaded in the Flouncings, and reduced to Twenty-One-and-Six from Forty-Five." But she professed that she needed it not: whereat I was glad; when he did tell her he would do it at One-and-Four less: and she then saying that it was indeed a Bargain, which I find is a Woman's Word for anything cheap whether wanted or no, I let her have it: cost 1, 0s.

2d. But, to be sure, the Pattern was pretty, and my Wife being well-dressed do please my Taste, and also increase my Consequence and Dignity. The Robe bought, it comes into her Head that she could not do without a new Shawl to match it, blue and scarlet, cost 2, 2s., but will look mighty fine, and, I hope, last. Here I thought to hale her at once by Force away; but seeing a stout middle-aged Gentleman doing the very Thing, and how mean it looked, did forbear; and in the Meanwhile the Shopman did beg, as he said, to tempt her with a superior a.s.sortment of Ribbons. She rummaging over this Frippery, I to gaze about the Shop, and with Fellow-Feeling did mark an unhappy small Boy, while his Mother was comparing some three-score different Pieces of Satin, perched on a Stool, out of Patience. My Wife would have 5s. worth of Ribbons, and here I hoped would make an End; but the Shopman did exhibit to her some Silk Stockings; and I telling her they were unnecessary, she declared that then she must wear Boots, which she knows I hate; and concluded with buying half a Dozen Pair, cost 24s.; and we away, bowed out of the Shop with Congees by the smirking Shopwalker, rubbing his Hands and grinning, as obsequious as could be; and so Home; I mighty serious, having laid out 5, 10s. 2d.; and the next Time I take out my Wife for a Walk, it shall be in the Fields and not in Regent Street.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _REGENTE STRETE AT FOUR OF YE CLOCKE, P.M._

THURSDAY, _August 16, 1849_.]

This Afternoon about Four of the Clock to Regent Street, and did walk up and down, among the fine Folk mostly, many Foreigners, and a few Street Urchins, and others of the lower Sort, and note the Carriages stand in Front of the Shops, and the Walking Advertis.e.m.e.nt Boys and Men, and the Cabs and Omnibuses go by, and the Advertising Vans, and mighty fine and droll the Monster Advertising Car of MOSES AND SON the Tailors. In the Evening to the Queen's House in the Haymarket, to hear MOZART his famous Opera "_Le Nozze di Figaro_" and SONTAG in _Susanna_, which she do act mighty skittish, and with the prettiest sidelong Looks, but the most graceful and like a Lady, and do trip the Stage the daintiest and make the nicest Curtsies, and sing the sweetest that methinks I ever did hear or see: and to think that MR. VIEUXBOYS should tell me she do it as well now as he did see her twenty Years ago! Pretty, to hear her sing "_Venite inginocchiatevi_," where she do make _Cherubino_ kneel down on the Cushion before the _Countess_, and put him on a Girl's Cap, and pat his Chin and Face. Also her singing of "_Sull' Aria_" with PARODI, the _Countess_, and the mingling of their Voices very musicall. Likewise that jolly blooming she-BACCHUS-ALBONI, _Cherubino_, with her pa.s.sionate fine singing of "_Non so piu_" and "_Voi che sapete_," did delight me much; and she did play a stripling of a Page in Love to the very Life.

BELLETTI did mightily take me with his Knaveries, in _Figaro_, and singing of "_Non piu andrai_," which is a most lively and martial Song; and the Grand March very brave as well, and did make my Heart leap, and me almost jump out of my Seat. COLLETTI, too, the _Count_, did content me much, and to the utmost with "_Crudel! perche finora_." But then to hear LABLACHE, what a great Thing he do make out of so small a Part as _Bartolo_, with his Voice in the Concert-Pieces heard above all the Rest, and thundering out "_La Vendetta_," like a musicall STENTOR; and his undertaking of little Characters to make an Opera perfect is very magnanimous; and MR. WAGSTAFFE do well say that he "_Ingentes Animos ingenti in Pectore versat_," and have as much Brains as Body. Mighty droll to hear the Quartett, with each Singer in turn holding the Voice on the word "_Io_," called for three Times, and the Singers each Time spinning "_Io_" out longer, whereat great Laughter; and the Performers laughing as much as the Audience. Wonderfull how still all the House was while SONTAG was a singing of "_Deh! vieni non tardar_," and the _Bravas_ and Clapping of Hands when she had ended; and to hear how she did stick to the Text, and not, like a vulgar silly _Prima Donna_, disfigure n.o.ble Musique by ridiculous Flourishes. Home to Supper, it being late, though, walking up the Haymarket, did sorely long for stewed Oysters. Telling my Wife of the Opera, did speak of _Susanna_ boxing _Figaro_ his Ears, and let out that I could have been glad to have her box mine too, which my Wife did say she could do as well if I pleased; but I said I had rather not, and so, whistling "_Non piu andrai_,"

rather small to Bed.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _BLACKWALL. SHOWYNGE YE PUBLICK A DINYNGE ON WHYTEBAIT._

SAt.u.r.dAY, _August 18, 1849_.]

Comes MR. GOLLOPE, this being his Birth-day, to bid me to go dine with him and a Company of some Half-dozen of our Acquaintance, off Whitebait at Blackwall. So we first to London Bridge, on Foot, walking for an Appet.i.te, and there took Water, and down the River in a Steam-Boat, with great Pleasure, enjoying the Breeze, and the View of the Shipping, and also the Prospect of a good Dinner. Landed at the Pier, and as fast as we could to LOVEGROVE'S, where our Table engaged in the large Room. But good Lack! to see the Fulness of the Place, every Table almost crowded with eager Eaters, the Heaps of Whitebait among them, and they with open Mouths and Eyes shovelling Spoonful after Spoonful into their Plates and thence thrusting them five or six at a Time into their Chaps. Then, here and there, a fat Fellow, stopping, out of Breath, to put down his Knife and Fork, and gulp a Goblet of iced Punch, was mighty droll; also to hear others speaking with their Mouths full. But Dinner coming, I cared not to look about me, there being on Table some dozen different Dishes of Fish, whereof the Sight did at first bewilder me, like the Donkey between the Haystacks, not knowing which to choose; and MR. GOBLESTONE do lament that at a Feast with Plenty of good Things he never was able to eat his Fill of every one. A Dish of Salmon with India-Pickle did please me mightily, also some Eels, spitchc.o.c.ked, and a stewed Carp, and ate heartily of them with much Relish; but did only nibble at the Rest by way of a Taste, for I felt exceeding full, and methought I should have no Stomach for the Whitebait. But Lack! to see when it came, how my Appet.i.te returned, and I did fall to upon it, and drink iced Punch, and then at the Whitebait again. Pretty, the little Slices of brown Bread and b.u.t.ter, they did bring us to eat it withal, and truly, with a Squeeze of Lemon and Cayenne Pepper, it is delicate Eating. After the Whitebait plain, Whitebait devilled made us to eat the more, and drink too, which we did in Champagne and Hock, pledging each other with great Mirth. After the Fish comes a Course of Ducks, and a Haunch of Mutton, and divers made Dishes; and then Tarts and Custards and Grouse; and lastly, a Dessert, and I did partake of all, as much as I had a Mind to, and after Dinner drank Port and Claret, when much Joking and rare Stories, and very merry we were. Pretty to look out of Window as we sat, at the Craft and the White Sails in the Sunset on the River. Back in a Railway Carriage, shouting and singing, and in a Cab Home, where DR.

SHARPE called to see my Wife for her Vapours. Pretty Discourse with him touching the Epidemic, he telling me that of all Things to bring it on the likeliest was Excess in Food and Drink, which did trouble me, and so with a Draught of Soda and a Dose of Pills to Bed.