Lean In Part 11

The hard work of generations before us means that equality is within our reach. We can close the leadership gap now. Each individual's success can make success a little easier for the next. We can do this-for ourselves, for one another, for our daughters, and for our sons. If we push hard now, this next wave can be the last wave. In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders.

When Gloria Steinem marched in the streets to fight for the opportunities that so many of us now take for granted, she quoted Susan B. Anthony, who marched in the streets before her and concluded, "Our job is not to make young women grateful. It is to make them ungrateful so they keep going."27 The sentiment remains true today. We need to be grateful for what we have but dissatisfied with the status quo. This dissatisfaction spurs the charge for change. We must keep going.

The march toward true equality continues. It continues down the halls of governments, corporations, academia, hospitals, law firms, nonprofits, research labs, and every organization, large and small. We owe it to the generations that came before us and the generations that will come after to keep fighting. I believe women can lead more in the workplace. I believe men can contribute more in the home. And I believe that this will create a better world, one where half our inst.i.tutions are run by women and half our homes are run by men.

I look toward the world I want for all children-and my own. My greatest hope is that my son and my daughter will be able to choose what to do with their lives without external or internal obstacles slowing them down or making them question their choices. If my son wants to do the important work of raising children full-time, I hope he is respected and supported. And if my daughter wants to work full-time outside her home, I hope she is not just respected and supported, but also liked for her achievements.

I hope they both end up exactly where they want to be. And when they find where their true pa.s.sions lie, I hope they both lean in-all the way.

Let's Keep Talking ...

My goal is that this book is not the end of the conversation, but the beginning.

I invite you to continue the discussion with me by joining the Lean In Community at www.facebook.com/leaninorg. Let's keep talking about these issues and supporting one another. Women and men of all ages are welcome.

I also encourage you to visit www.leanin.org for practical education and personal experiences that can help you reach your goals. Here you can explore topics critical to your success-from negotiating effectively to understanding your strengths. You also can create and join Lean In Circles, small peer groups that meet in person for ongoing encouragement and development.

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to the many people who believed in these ideas and gave so much of themselves to make the publication of Lean In possible.

My deepest thanks go to my writing partner Nell Scovell. Nell and I have been working together on speeches, starting with the 2011 Forrestal Lecture at the U.S. Naval Academy, where I first used the phrase "lean in." When I was considering writing this book, I realized that I was willing to do it only if Nell collaborated with me. Nell responded that she was "not just in, but all in," which says everything about her commitment. She took a break from her work as a television writer/producer and journalist to make this a priority. She put in nights, early mornings, weekends, and holidays to accommodate my limited schedule. Most of all, she was insistent that we keep searching until we found the right way to talk about these complicated and emotional issues. Nell's talent with words is matched only by her sense of humor and her unshakable belief that having more women in leadership positions will result in a fairer and better world. I am grateful to her not just for her expertise and complete dedication, but for her friendship, which I have come to cherish. Her heart rings true and clear on this book's every page.

Marianne Cooper also has lived and breathed this book for the past year and a half. As a sociologist at the Clayman Inst.i.tute for Gender Research at Stanford University and an expert on gender and social inequality, Marianne brought her vast knowledge to bear as this book's lead researcher. She is meticulous in her approach and has an unparalleled talent for synthesizing research so it is concise, understandable, and convincing. I learned a great deal from her clear thinking, deep insight, and a.n.a.lytical rigor.

This book would not have been written if it were not for Jennifer Walsh. Through the depth of her conviction, the sheer force of her will, and her absolute refusal to take no for an answer, Jennifer convinced me to write this book. She told me that this process would be an important personal journey for me, and she was right. She stayed by my side from beginning to end, providing guidance and encouragement and reminding me at key moments why I was doing this.

My editor, Jordan Pavlin, believed in this project so much that she dedicated many hours over many months before I fully committed. She was instrumental in helping flesh out the initial ideas and turn those ideas into outlines and finally into chapters. Jordan never read an anecdote she did not think could be expanded, and she continually pushed me to share more of my experiences and emotions. I also owe my deepest grat.i.tude to Sonny Mehta, editor in chief of Knopf, whose unflagging support kept this project on the fast track.

David Dreyer and Eric London were indispensable to the writing of this book. As trusted advisors and brilliant craftsmen, they pored over each and every draft from the very first to the very last. They applied their impeccable judgment and communications expertise to all matters, from suggesting sweeping structural changes to honing minute details. They always (always) stayed on point, were able to see issues from multiple angles, and delivered their advice with speed and a sense of humor. Elliot Schrage, Brandee Barker, Sarah Feinberg, Debbie Frost, and especially Ashley Zandy provided invaluable support and advice. Gina Bianchini, Rachel Thomas, and Debi Hemmeter turned their pa.s.sion for and commitment to this book's message into establishing the Lean In Community.

If you read this book, you know the importance I place on feedback, and I am especially grateful to the many people who provided it. From the moment I decided to do this, my sister-in-law, Amy Schefler, jumped in to help. She sent detailed thoughts on topics I should cover as I was working on the initial outline, interviewed all her friends, shared her own stories, and read every draft of each chapter multiple times. Her enthusiasm and pa.s.sion for this project-as well as her love and support-were truly inspiring.

Gloria Steinem has shared her wisdom with me since I was lucky enough to meet her six years ago. My understanding of the challenges that women face owes much to the time she has generously spent with me. No one has thought about women-and all of humanity-more deeply than Gloria. And she considers every issue with humility, humor, and a profound desire to build a just world. As an activist, her efforts continue to move us all toward the goal of true equality. As a writer, her words often provide the best single-sentence summary on any topic, which is why she is quoted so frequently in this book. The phrase "internalize the revolution" comes from her and echoes her book Revolution from Within. It is with love and grat.i.tude that I quote her words in these pages.

Arianna Huffington has been a constant source of support in every aspect of my life for many years. She sent comments on drafts from all around the world, adding her insight and deep understanding of cultural trends. Oprah Winfrey encouraged me to focus on my intent for this book. When I was hesitant to share something personal, I heard her voice in my head-or in the text messages she sent-reminding me of the power of being authentic. Gene Sperling is one of the busiest people I know, and yet he found the time to write page after page of key suggestions. His ability to cut to the heart of the matter on issues that concern public policy and the problems that affect people from every life circ.u.mstance is matchless.

Mindy Levy, my childhood friend, was visiting with her family when I roped her into looking at a chapter. She turned out to be a master of structure and organization, which she then applied to future drafts. Mellody Hobson encouraged me to speak from the heart with conviction and confidence. She sets the example of what it means to be a woman, unapologetically. Karen Kehela Sherwood helped crystallize several key ideas, including the "aha" moment of realizing that how women are perceived when negotiating can be used as a negotiation tool. And just as she did for so many of my papers for so many years, my college roommate Carrie Weber stayed up many late nights line editing every sentence. She helped in ways that only someone who is both a dear friend and an accomplished author could.

Many others generously read drafts and offered thoughts, sometimes under demanding deadlines. Deep thanks to Stephanie Flanders, Molly Graham, Larry Summers, Bill McKibben, Tina Bennett, Scott and Clia Tierney, Amanda McCall, Jami Pa.s.ser, Mich.e.l.le Ebersman, Stephen Paul, Diana Farrell, Adam Freed, Phil Deutch, Marne Levine, Joel Kaplan, Eric Antonow, Lorna Borenstein, Marcus Buckingham, Michael Grimes, Anna Fieler, Kim Scott, Kim Jabal, Carole Geithner, Don Graham, Zander Lurie, and Michael Balaoing.

Many people contributed to the research that underpins this book. Sh.e.l.ley Correll and Lori Mackenzie of the Clayman Inst.i.tute for Gender Research at Stanford connected me with Marianne, then supported her so that she could dedicate so much time to this project. Mana Nakagawa, a Ph.D. candidate in the International Comparative Education program at Stanford University, did the international research needed to make the book relevant for a global audience. Professor Deborah Gruenfeld of the Stanford Graduate School of Business started educating me on gender issues more than five years ago and has been doing it ever since. Kathleen McCartney, dean of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, explained the NICHD study on early child care and child development. Professor Jennifer Aaker of the Stanford Graduate School of Business shared her research on the importance of setting goals to pursuing happiness. Harvard professor Hannah Riley Bowles interrupted her vacation to spend hours on the phone discussing her work on negotiation. Professor Francis Flynn of the Stanford Graduate School of Business walked me step by step through the findings of his breakthrough Heidi/Howard study. Sharon Meers generously shared all of the research she spent years doing for her book Getting to 50/50. Christine Silva, senior director of research at Catalyst, provided important detail on several studies. Kim Parker, senior researcher with the Pew Social & Demographic Trends project, discussed Pew's research report on gender and career aspirations. And special thanks to Phil Garland, vice president of methodology at SurveyMonkey, for his insightful comments on many drafts as well as a.s.sistance with statistical a.n.a.lysis.

The team at WME has been on top of every aspect of this book. Ari Emanuel kicked this whole thing off by introducing me to Jennifer, and I am grateful for his friendship as well as his ever-amusing and supportive check-in calls. I am indebted to Tracy Fisher, Theresa Brown, Margaret Riley, Kathleen Nishimoto, and Caitlin Moore for all their efforts. The team at Knopf showed remarkable dedication and enthusiasm in this process: Tony Chirico, Paul Bogaards, Chris Gillespie, Peter Mendelsund, Erinn Hartman, Elizabeth Lindsay, Caroline Bleeke, Katherine Hourigan, and Lydia Buechler. It was a joy to work closely with Ellen Feldman and Amy Ryan, and I grew to depend on their precision with words, careful attention to detail, and endless patience. Thank you to Divesh Makan of Iconiq for his organizational and structural help and to Gary Stiffelman of Ziffren Brittenham for his diligence. I also want to thank Jill Gillett and Chris Sanagustin for their support of Nell's work on this project. Much appreciation goes to Markus Dohle and Madeline McIntosh of Random House for their steadfast belief in this book.

A special thanks to all the women and men who reached out to me after my TEDTalk and other speeches to share their stories, struggles, and triumphs. I would not have kept talking about this subject or written this book had it not been for their responses and thoughts. When I needed inspiration, I read and reread their e-mails and letters.

I am also indebted to the many people who have given me opportunities and guidance over the course of my career. Larry Summers offered to advise my senior thesis, gave me my first job out of college, and has been an important part of my life ever since. Lant Pritchett, my first boss, taught me to look hard at the data and speak the unvarnished truth. Eric Schmidt, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Omid Kordestani hired me at Google despite my complete lack of any relevant experience and supported me throughout my many years working for them. Richard Skolnik, Salim Habayeb, and Maria Clark invited me to join their team in India at the World Bank. Doug Elmendorf helped me start a group for women in economics when I was in college and taught me so much over the course of many years. Don Graham, Pat Mitch.e.l.l, John Doerr, Dan Rosensweig, Michael Lynton, Bob Iger, Howard Schultz, and Bob Rubin have all given me key advice at critical junctures in my career. Fred Kofman shared his insights on leadership, authenticity, and responsibility.

I am lucky to work every day with extraordinary people at Facebook. Camille Hart has worked by my side for more than ten years. So much of what I am able to do is because of her expertise, great judgment, and relentless pursuit of efficiency. My colleagues Chris c.o.x, Mike Schroepfer, Elliot Schrage, David Ebersman, Ted Ullyot, Libby Leffler, Charlton Gholson, Kelly Hoffman, Anikka FraG.o.dt, Eric Antonow, David Fischer, Lori Goler, and Dan Rose challenge me to live up to their high standards and provide the friendship and support that makes coming to work every day worthwhile. Mark Zuckerberg gave me the opportunity of a lifetime and has continued to inspire and support me ever since. He has taught me by his example to chart my own course and has encouraged me to do what I would do if I were not afraid.

I am blessed to be surrounded by loving friends through this project and all else. I am so grateful for my childhood friends Eve Greenbarg, Mindy Levy, Jami Pa.s.ser, Beth Redlich, Elise Scheck, Pam Srebrenik, Brook Rose, Merle Safer-stein, and Amy Trachter; and my closest adulthood friends Carrie Weber, Marne Levine, Phil Deutch, Katie and Scott Mitic, Craig and Kirsten Nevill-Manning, Adam Freed, Joel Kaplan, Clia and Scott Tierney, Kim Jabal, Lorna Borenstein, David Lawee, Chamath Palihapitiya, Zander Lurie, Kim Keating, Diana Farrell, Scott Pearson, Lori Talingting, and Larry Brilliant.

The boundless support of my family has been the foundation of my life. My deepest grat.i.tude and love to my parents Adele and Joel Sandberg, my brother David Sandberg, my sister Mich.e.l.le Sandberg, my mother-in-law Paula Goldberg, my siblings-in-law Amy Schefler, Marc Bodnick, and Rob and Leslye Goldberg, and my G.o.ddaughter Elise Geithner.

This book does not just recommend true partnership; it is a product of several true partnerships. Colin Summers, Nell's husband, slowed down his architecture career to become the primary caregiver for their children. In twenty years, his encouragement of her career has never faltered. His contributions to this mission included reading many drafts of this book, discussing its contents over countless meals, and attending several school events alone. Whenever someone suggests that mothers are better suited to raising children, Nell knows in the deepest way possible that fathers can parent with as much love, devotion, and joy.

Scott Saywell, Marianne's husband, encouraged her to take on this project despite her initial reluctance. When my offer came, she had her own book to write and a second baby with food allergies who was not sleeping well. Scott insisted they would figure out a way to make it work, then reorganized his schedule so that it did. He was more than just supportive, he was excited for Marianne.

And finally, I want to thank my truly amazing husband, Dave Goldberg. Dave is my best friend, closest advisor, dedicated coparent, and the love of my life. We both knew that my writing this book would come primarily at the expense of our time together, and so writing Lean In was as much his decision as mine. He supported me every step of the way, as he always does, with patience, great insight, humor, and love.

Notes

INTRODUCTION. INTERNALIZING THE REVOLUTION

1. International Labour Organization, ILO Global Estimates of Forced Labour, Results and Methodology (Geneva: ILO Publications, 2012), 1314, http://www.ilo.org/wcmsp5/groups/public/---ed_norm/---declaration/doc.u.ments/publication/wcms_182004.pdf.

2. Caroline Wyatt, "What Future for Afghan Woman Jailed for Being Raped?," BBC News, South Asia, January 14, 2012, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-16543036.

3. According to the U.S. State Department, there are 195 independent states in the world. See U.S. Department of State, Independent States in the World, Fact Sheet (January 2012), http://www.state.gov/s/inr/rls/4250.htm#note3. The calculation for the number of independent states led by women, defined as women serving as president or prime minister or other executive role, was derived from the most recent information released by the CIA prior to publication. See Central Intelligence Agency, Chiefs of State & Cabinet Members of Foreign Governments (December 2012), https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/world-leaders-1/pdf-version/December2012ChiefsDirectory.pdf. However, the calculation also includes two electoral changes not reflected in the CIA information-the election of Park Geun-hye, who will be the first female president of South Korea in 2013, and the end of Swiss president Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf's term in December 2012. It should be noted that Switzerland is led by a Federal Council comprised of seven members. Every year the Swiss Federal a.s.sembly elects from among the seven Federal Council members a president and vice president. In 2013 the president of Switzerland will be Ueli Maurer. However, three of the seven Federal Council members are women (Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf, Simonetta Sommaruga, and Doris Leuthard). Elections vary from country to country in terms of when and how often they are held. Thus, the total number of women chiefs of state or heads of government will change as countries go through their next election cycle.

4. Inter-Parliamentary Union, Women in National Parliaments (2012), http://www.ipu.org/wmn-e/world.htm.

5. Claudia Goldin, Lawrence F. Katz, and Ilyana Kuziemko, "The Homecoming of American College Women: The Reversal of the College Gender Gap," Journal of Economic Perspectives 20, no. 4 (2006): 133.

6. Catalyst, Targeting Inequity: The Gender Gap in U.S. Corporate Leadership (September 2010), http://www.jec.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?a=Files.Serve&File_id=90foaade-d9f5-43e7-8501-46bbd1c69bb8.

7. Patricia Sellers, "Fortune 500 Women CEOs. .h.i.ts a Milestone," CNNMoney, November 12, 2012, http://postcards.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2012/11/12/fortune-500-women-ceos-3/.

8. Catalyst, 2012 Catalyst Census: Fortune 500 Women Executive Officers and Top Earners (December 2012), http://www.catalyst.org/2012-catalyst-census-fortune-500-women-executive-officers-and-top-earners. Catalyst defines an "executive officer" as one who is "appointed and elected by the board directors," including the "CEO and up to two reporting levels below," and individuals who are "listed as executive officers in SEC filings"; see appendix 1, Methodology Section, 2009 Catalyst Census: Fortune 500, http://www.catalyst.org/etc/Census_app/09US/2009_Fortune_500_Census_Appendix_1.pdf; Catalyst, 2012 Catalyst Census: Fortune 500 Women Board Directors (December 2012), http://www.catalyst.org/knowledge/2012-catalyst-census-fortune-500-women-board-directors; and Center for American Women and Politics, "Women Who Will Be Serving in 2013," http://www.cawp.rutgers.edu/fast_facts/elections/2013_womenserving.php.