Inside Out Part 9

"True, but your client forgets that death severs all agreements, and I have engineered things so that my continued health will ensure your client's continued health and prosperity. However, his own government would not be pleased and would find itself quite embarra.s.sed by the information I have. He knows the action his government has taken and would take under those circ.u.mstances." Zach saw no tension in Bull's expression. "So, as I said before, tell your client no. I'm retired and wish to remain that way. He needs to find someone else to clean up his messes." Bull went silent. Spook stood up and walked around them to the door without saying another word.

"I'll relay the message," Spook said. Zach looked at Bull and then back at the door. Spook was already gone.

"What the h.e.l.l was that?" Zach asked a little more loudly than he intended.

"That's how you turn down an offer you can't refuse," Bull said. "The man making the offer is very powerful. World-level powerful."

"Then how can you turn him down?" Zach asked. "Not that I want you to go anywhere, but this is scary. What if he hurts you?" He slowly moved closer to Bull. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I have some material on the man making the offer that will give him pause. But this is only the opening salvo," Bull said. "Spook's client won't take no for an answer. He'll simply try to find another way to make his offer." Bull pulled out one of the chairs and sat at the table.

"You're okay with this? How can you be?" Zach asked. "He wants to take you away. I'm not dumb. If you accept this thing, then you'll be gone for a long time." Zach's mouth went dry.

"I have no intention of going anywhere. Like I said, he won't take no for an answer, but in the end he'll figure out he has to," Bull said. "I have no intention of working for him. h.e.l.l, or seeing him ever again." Bull's gaze became as hard as steel. "I'm just saying that sometimes it takes more than once before someone who's very used to getting his own way accepts a refusal." Bull tugged him close. "I don't want to do those kinds of jobs any longer."

"Were they bad? Did you do bad things?" Zach asked and then wished he hadn't. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, I've given it some thought and I should tell you at least part of it. I was a mercenary, hired to protect and perform tasks in foreign countries where our government couldn't or wouldn't go. Anyway, the man who wants me to work for him is one of the worst, and I had the misfortune of saving his life once. I should have let the b.a.s.t.a.r.d die, but hindsight is always perfect. Anyway, I didn't a.s.sa.s.sinate people, if that's what you're thinking, but I did fight the causes of the people who hired me, and that meant killing people on the other side." Bull stammered slightly. "In the service, I was good; after I got out, I was better. I honed my skills and gained a reputation for being able to get into very tight situations and out again without anyone knowing."

"Okay, I don't really understand," Zach said. He was trying, but Bull was still speaking cryptically.

"It doesn't matter. I don't want you stained with that history. Anyway, it was in one of those situations that I saved this particular man's life, as well as the life of his son."

"Junior?" Zach asked, and Bull nodded.

"He and I became friends and then something more. His father is from a country and culture where two men together are not tolerated. Junior and I made plans to leave and return to this country together. See, I thought he loved me. We were together almost a year. He and I did jobs together, and at the end of the last one, he came to the US with me as a student. His father arranged for him to go to college here. We could be together in this country, where it was safe." Bull swallowed hard. "Somehow his father found out, and while his father didn't condemn either of us, he would not condone the relationship either. Eventually, Junior left and returned to his father's family, but not before he blamed everything on me. I had led him astray, and now Junior had seen the light and wanted to return to his family."

"He turned on you after all you'd done for him?"

"Yup. Junior returned to his family, and I went my own way. Our paths didn't cross for almost two years. By then, Junior's father had forgiven both him and me. I was requested on another job by Junior's father, and Junior asked to go along. Neither his father nor I thought it was a good idea, but Junior was insistent."

"Did he make your life miserable?" Zach asked, trying to imagine what it must have been like to work with someone who'd betrayed him like that. Zach knew he'd probably have kicked him in the nuts or something.

"No. We were supposed to clear out a group of nomads from an area that Junior's father wanted to develop. Junior worked with me and the team to develop a strategy to get the job done with as little bloodshed as possible."

"Did you become lovers again?"

Bull nodded. "He told me he'd been wrong earlier and that he should never have left. I can still see his long, black hair, and his deep-as-night eyes tearing up as he asked for forgiveness." Bull choked up. Zach was afraid to move in case Bull stopped, but after a few seconds, he moved closer to comfort him. "We spent the days working and our nights together for almost a week." Bull sniffed once and then stared at him. It seemed somewhat shocking to see the strong and confident man Zach had come to know reduced nearly to tears. "It turned out the nomads were more than we were led to believe, and they had the firepower of a small army hidden among them. When we tried to move them on, they opened fire. It wasn't pretty, and a number on both sides died." Bull took a deep breath. "After it was over, I found Junior-his real name was Khalil-on the ground. At first I thought he was only stunned, because I saw no injuries, but his eyes were open and set. He was already dead, shot in the back multiple times. The team cleaned up the situation, and I carried Junior's body back with us and made sure he made it to his family. I mourned him alone and kept our renewed relationship a secret from everyone. Telling his family would have hurt them and tainted his memory, so I did what my military training had taught me and shoved all of it into a tiny box. His father mourned a son he was proud of, and I quietly mourned a lover that I could never acknowledge again. That was my last job. I went back to the States, turned down every job offer I got, and managed to renew my friendship with Harry. Eventually we opened the club together. And I haven't heard from Junior's father again until today."

"I'm sorry," Zach whispered.

"I know. It's hard to talk about. See, he left me the first time, but he promised me that once that job was over for his father, he would come back to the States with me. He wanted a life that didn't include lies."

"Did you believe him?" Zach asked.

"Yeah, I did. He showed me a plane ticket and said he wanted to be with me. The next day he was gone. I spent years trying to forget him, and then I had him again, but he was taken away. After that, I decided it wasn't worth it."

"That's where you were wrong. Because it is worth it," Zach told him. "Am I worth it?"

Bull stared at him. "How'd you get to be so smart?"

"I'm not. I know what I want, though." Zach moved closer, stroked Bull's cheek and ran his hand over his forehead and across his smooth, shaved head. "Don't ask me why, because you can be the most exasperating man I have ever met, but I want you. There's something about you that gets my blood racing and my heart pounding. When you kiss me, I can barely breathe, and when I look at you, my mouth goes dry." Zach touched Bull's chin until he raised his gaze to meet Zach's. "If this is some casual thing, then you need to tell me now. If this was just a quick roll in the hay, I can deal with that. But I cannot deal with being on the receiving end of what Junior did to you. I can't and I won't. I deserve better than that, just like you deserved better than that from Junior." Zach stared hard at Bull.

"This isn't casual," Bull said. "I don't know what it is exactly, but I...."

"Small steps. As long as you're willing to be honest, I can handle it," Zach said. He knew that opening Bull's heart would take patience, but deep down he thought it would be worth it. Zach leaned forward, touching Bull's lips with his own. Bull wrapped his arms around him, tightened his hug, and deepened the kiss. Within seconds, Bull was kissing him hard, taking possession of Zach's mouth. The kiss became almost bruising, but there was no way he wanted it to stop. Bull needed rea.s.surance, and Zach sure as h.e.l.l intended to give it to him. "Why don't you lock up, and I'll be waiting for you in your bedroom."

"Okay," Bull answered. Zach backed away and watched Bull leave the room. He loved to watch him move, every muscle pressing against the fabric of his clothes. It was truly a sight to behold. Then Zach walked out of the kitchen and down the hall, where he pushed open the door to Bull's room with its king-size bed. He pulled down the covers and positioned the pillows before stepping out of his shoes. Then he stripped, climbed onto the bed, and rested his head on one of the pillows, lightly stroking his c.o.c.k so everything would be good and ready when Bull came in the room.

Zach heard a small gasp. He turned his head and saw Bull standing in the doorway. "d.a.m.n, that's beautiful." Zach blushed. "You lie there naked, your d.i.c.k hard and sliding through your hand, and when I tell you it's a beautiful sight, you turn red." Bull stepped into the room, and Zach watched, completely enthralled, as he began pulling off his clothes. Bull's wide shoulders and muscled chest came into view when Bull opened the b.u.t.tons of his shirt, then shrugged it off and tossed it over the chair. Bull opened his pants and then turned around and pushed them down his legs.

"And you thought I was beautiful," Zach whispered in reference to Bull's beefy b.u.t.t. He shifted onto his knees and reached out, stroking it through the fabric of Bull's boxers. Bull looked over his shoulder and shoved his pants lower before turning around and moving slowly toward the bed, his thick, heavy c.o.c.k swaying rhythmically.

Bull placed his hand in the center of Zach's chest and pressed him down onto his back. Zach held his breath and waited excitedly for what Bull had planned. "Close your eyes," Bull whispered, but Zach hesitated, very much wanting to see everything. Bull stilled completely and stared at him. Zach knew nothing would happen until he complied, so he slid his eyes closed and waited.

Bull's hot, wet tongue swirled around a nipple, and Zach gasped and tried his best to hold still. He wanted to see Bull lick him, but he did as he was told and kept his eyes closed even as Bull did things that made his skin tingle and his breath hitch over and over again. Bull sucked and licked at both nipples until Zach's mouth hung open. He gasped for breath and only seemed able to make moaning and whimpering sounds that became more and more desperate as the seconds ticked by. His c.o.c.k throbbed and pulsed against his belly. Zach reached for it, but Bull gently batted his hand away. "Just be patient," he whispered. "This is all about heightening the fun."

"But you'll kill me first," Zach whispered.

"No, I won't, and I promise you'll thank me," Bull told him. Then he kissed him hard before saying, "Keep your eyes closed." Bull licked down Zach's neck and throat before sucking his nipples and then licking his chest and stomach. Zach's muscles rippled as he felt Bull's tongue. He gasped when heat beyond belief slowly slid up his c.o.c.k. It had to be Bull's lips. He moaned loudly and clamped his eyes closed tighter, gripping the bedding as Bull sucked his c.o.c.k.

"Bull, that's not fair," he mumbled blindly. "I want to see you."

"For now just relax and enjoy," Bull whispered and then sucked him deep and hard. Zach's head came off the pillow and he gasped, tearing at the bedding as he tried to control his body. Already it was betraying him, tingling and throbbing as he tried not to come so quickly. His feet throbbed and his legs vibrated as his b.a.l.l.s pulled up toward his body. He was seconds from coming when Bull backed off and let him slip from his lips.

Zach opened his eyes, and Bull stared back at him. "I never was good at following directions."

Bull smiled and moved closer, resting part of his weight on him, pressing Zach into the mattress. Zach wrapped his arms around Bull's neck and held on as they kissed, chest to chest, hips to hips, rubbing their c.o.c.ks against each other. Zach closed his eyes once more as the intensity of the sensation built.

"You are so beautiful," Bull said.

"Isn't that from a song?"

"Yes, but I won't sing it, I promise," Bull said before kissing him again. "Now I'm going to taste you until your head explodes and you can't remember your name." Bull slid down his body and sucked him hard, sliding up and down his c.o.c.k until Zach could barely see. His entire body vibrated with excitement as ecstasy quickly built. Within a few minutes, Zach could no longer control his body. Bull sucked his c.o.c.k, bobbing his head until Zach's toes curled. The pressure built and built until he gave in completely, clutched the bedding, and let go.

He came so intensely he saw stars and shook the entire bed. It took him a few seconds before he realized the screams that reached his ears were his own. Then he slumped back on the bed, trying to breathe while he floated on clouds of happiness. Nothing mattered, and on the periphery of his consciousness he was aware of Bull moving around him. Then he felt warm arms encircle him, pulling him close. Bull lightly stroked his belly as Zach came back to himself. Then Zach slowly opened his eyes and curled his lips into a smile. "Jesus," he whispered.

"I know," Bull told him. "Do you have any idea how hotly adorable you look when you come? Your eyes glaze over and your mouth hangs open." Bull lightly stroked his lips. "I could watch you in the throes of pa.s.sion for the rest of my life."

Zach opened his mouth to respond, but stopped himself.

"Just relax," Bull said.

"What about you?" Zach asked.

"That was just to take your edge off," Bull told him and nuzzled his neck. "I intend to take you right back there as soon as you have a chance to catch your breath."

"You are are trying to kill me," Zach said, cradling Bull's head. "What a way to go." He lay still and let the remnants of afterglow settle over him. There was plenty of time; they had all night, he hoped. "What about work?" trying to kill me," Zach said, cradling Bull's head. "What a way to go." He lay still and let the remnants of afterglow settle over him. There was plenty of time; they had all night, he hoped. "What about work?"

"Don't you worry about anything," Bull said. "I already called Harry and things are covered. It was more important that I make sure you were safe."

Zach hummed his agreement. "Do you think Spook will be back tonight?"

"I doubt it," Bull said. "But I want you safe with me just to be sure. I wouldn't put it past some people in my former profession to use whatever leverage they could find to get someone to do what they want. And right now, to me, and to them as well, you would be leverage, because I would do a great many things to see that you were safe." Bull sighed, then lightly touched Zach's chin and turned his head. He kissed him so gently yet intensely that Zach felt it in his heart. Bull had just told him he cared. In his own way, Zach realized Bull was letting him know what he meant to him. Somehow Zach doubted Bull was likely to say the three magic words, but his actions spoke volumes, and Zach was content. Bull was a man of action, not words.

"I know what it took for you to tell me what you did tonight. And I know what it meant. I trust you too," Zach said, cupping Bull's cheeks in his hands and guiding their lips together. "I think I'm ready for what you promised." Zach smiled and then kissed Bull hard.

Bull took over from there, and for the next half hour, Zach was kissed and licked to within an inch of his life. The things Bull did to him and the places he touched blew Zach's mind. When Bull sucked him deep and slipped a finger inside his body, Zach thought his head would explode. But that was only the beginning. One finger became two and then three. Zach tried to form words, but none came. He could only manage groans and whimpers. When Bull lifted his legs, placed his feet on his shoulders, and rolled on a condom, Zach thought he'd die of antic.i.p.ation. And when Bull pressed into his body, he tensed and thought the sensation would short-circuit his brain.

"Relax," Bull whispered. Zach tried, and the initial pain melted into pleasure as his body adjusted to the intrusion. Within minutes, Bull was deep inside him, and Zach felt connected to another human being in a way he'd never thought possible. Then Bull began to move, and Zach wondered if he'd ever get enough oxygen into his lungs again.

Zach locked gazes with Bull, and Bull leaned forward, capturing Zach's lips in a deep kiss. The world seemed to stop, and then, once Bull broke their kiss, Zach watched as he straightened up and began rolling his hips. Bull touched something deep inside him, and Zach's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Zach had never seen anything s.e.xier in his life, and he'd never felt so high and so amazingly special in his life. "I always thought I was a freak, different from everyone else," Zach whispered and then lost track of his thoughts when Bull slowed his movements, dragging his c.o.c.k across the spot deep inside. Zach gasped and vibrated with years of pent-up pa.s.sion.

"You're no freak," Bull said between gritted teeth, pressing deep and then holding still. "But, honey, you certainly are different." Bull leaned forward and wrapped his arms around him. Zach shifted his legs and circled them around Bull's waist. Then Bull lifted him, still buried inside, and pulled him to the edge of the bed. Bull stood on the floor with Zach on his back on the mattress. "You're an angel, and I want to take you to heaven." Bull withdrew, holding still just inside his body, and then slowly filled him again.

Zach moaned long and low, losing control. He was Bull's and he wanted it that way. His head throbbed and he tried desperately to catch his breath, but there was no way. "Bull," Zach whispered. "I...." He swallowed the words as Bull drove deep inside him.

Zach reached out, barely able to reach Bull's chest. With his fingertips he stroked Bull's heated chest, his soft hair tickling lightly. Bull leaned slightly closer, and Zach continued caressing his chest, desperately needing to be in contact with Bull in as many ways as possible. Once he had what he wanted, Zach clenched his muscles, and Bull gasped.

"d.a.m.n, sweetheart," Bull said with the s.e.xiest growl ever. He picked up speed, and the bed shook with every thrust. Sweat beaded on Zach's skin, and Bull's body glistened.

Then Zach felt Bull falter. They gasped together. Bull took his hand off one of Zach's hips and wrapped his fingers around Zach's c.o.c.k. He stroked to the time of his thrusting, and Zach pushed his hips upward to meet each thrust. As soon as he did, he nearly screamed with unabashed delight. He had no idea what to do. Everything brought more pleasure, more sensation, and he was on the cusp of completely overwhelming pa.s.sion. "Bull, I'm all yours. Take me," Zach whimpered. He was on the verge of tears and had no idea why. Bull gripped him tighter, stroking faster.

The tingling started at the base of his b.a.l.l.s and quickly spread through his entire body. Bull moved faster and faster, thrusting his chest forward as his lungs filled with air. Time stopped for Zach, and all that existed was Bull and the amazing way he was playing his body.

Zach clamped his eyes closed, gritting his teeth as pressure built higher and higher, until he could no longer contain it and came with a long shout of joy that went on and on. Then everything stopped.

"Zach, sweetheart," Bull said, stroking his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw Bull's eyes, filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"What happened?" Zach asked, taking quick stock of himself.

"You pa.s.sed out," Bull told him, "and managed to scare me to death."

"Wow," Zach said, afraid to move. His head throbbed, but other than that he felt amazing. His skin tingled and he was as relaxed and happy as he could ever remember being. "Did you...?"

"Oh yeah," Bull whispered and slowly pulled out. Zach lowered his legs, but didn't move otherwise. Everything felt too good to spoil. "Come on," Bull said and guided him back up until his head rested on a pillow. "I'll be right back." Bull walked to the bathroom, Zach watching his b.u.t.t as he moved.

"What's that smile for?" Bull asked as he walked to the bed with a cloth.

"You," Zach whispered, trying to make his throat work. "You make me happy."

Bull stopped midwipe. "I don't think I've ever made anyone truly happy before." Zach placed his hand on top of Bull's. "I don't really know if I ever made Junior happy. I'd like to think I did, but I was never sure."

Zach took the cloth and wiped his skin before setting it aside. Then he took Bull's hand in his. "I want you to think of the last night the two of you were together. Did he look at you the way I am now?" Zach paused. "Did his eyes glaze over, and even in the darkness, you knew he was looking at you?" Bull nodded slowly. "Then you made him happy," Zach said with a lump in his throat. Bull leaped forward, encircling Zach in his arms.

Zach held him too, and Bull rested his head on his shoulder. There was no sound other than Bull's breath in his ear for the longest time.

"Thank you," Bull whispered.

Zach's heart warmed. He had never been in love before, but he was sure this was it. He held Bull tighter as the realization washed over him. He was in love. He closed his eyes and let the happiness wash over him. He knew this wasn't going to last. Something would happen-it always seemed to. But for now, in the quiet of Bull's bedroom with him in his arms, he'd enjoy it and take it for what it was.

"Let's go to bed," Bull whispered.

Zach reached over and turned out the light, plunging them in darkness. Bull shifted on the mattress and then pulled him close. Zach was pretty sure Bull loved him in return. He only wished he knew for sure.

Chapter 7.

BULL HANDED HANDED the kid's ID back to him, growling, and motioned him out of line. the kid's ID back to him, growling, and motioned him out of line.

"What the h.e.l.l did you do that for?" Harry whispered from behind him. "Let the kid in and have one of the guys man the door." The anger in Harry's voice caught Bull's attention. He motioned to one of the bouncers, who took his place. Bull went inside and threaded his way across the dance floor before making his way to the office. "I'm your oldest friend," Harry said and then shut the door. "Now tell me what the f.u.c.k is wrong with you! For the past week, ever since you took that last-minute day off because Zach needed your help, you've been impossible to be around and a complete a.s.shole to everyone. Did Zach dump you? Because if you've been acting like this around him, I wouldn't blame him. Half the people in this club would dump you three times if they could."

"Rashad wants to hire me," Bull answered flatly. "And he isn't taking no for an answer."

"Is that what Spook wanted?" Harry was the one and only person Bull confided in. The two of them had very few secrets, and the great thing about Harry was that he knew how to keep one. Never had he breathed a word of anything Bull told him, and Bull carried Harry's secrets behind an equally tightly locked compartment in his head. He'd sooner die than betray Harry's trust.

Bull explained to Harry about seeing Spook. "Yeah. He delivered a message of potential employment, and since then he's talked to me twice, each time trying to feel me out to see what it would take to get me to do this particular job. I know it's hard to break out of the life, but I've been gone for four years and I don't want to be hauled back in. Not now."

"Does Rashad know about you and Junior getting back together before he died?" Harry asked.

"G.o.d, I hope not. He was angry enough the first time." A thought occurred to Bull. "Maybe he does know and this is how he's decided to deal with me."

"If he wanted to kill you, I suspect he'd find an easier way." Harry shook his head. "Junior's gone and nothing will bring him back, not for him and not for you. You didn't kill him and aren't responsible for his death, and you did everything in your power to protect Junior's family, even to your own detriment."

"It doesn't matter. I led the mission. We should have planned more, done more recon...," Bull protested.

"I can't understand what you went through or what that life was like, but I can tell you this: s.h.i.t happens. As for Rashad, keep telling him no if that's your answer, and stop making everyone else's life miserable. I'm here for you if you need me." Harry clapped him on the shoulder. "Now quit being an a.s.shole."

"Thanks. I know I can always count on you," Bull said.

"You bet you can. Who else would actually dare to tell you when you're acting like an a.s.s?" Harry pulled open the office door and left, with Bull following right behind.

Bull went back to work, on edge like he hadn't been in months, watching everyone in the club for anything out of the ordinary. He saw the usual bad behavior and put a stop to it, but right now, he was looking for anyone who might be watching him. He saw no one, but that didn't mean they weren't here, only that he hadn't spotted them.

"Hi, Bull," Zach said, interrupting his thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" Bull asked, more forcefully than he intended, and Zach's smile diminished.

"I came to see you," Zach answered. "You've been avoiding me all week, and I was beginning to wonder if I'd done something wrong."

"I haven't been avoiding you." He had, but not in the way Zach meant.

"You've been talking to that guy Spook, haven't you?" Zach asked quietly, and Bull nodded while he focused his attention on the room. It was hard, because all he wanted to do was look at Zach and imagine what they'd do when they were alone. "Have you decided to take that job and haven't told me?"