Inside Out Part 10

"No," Bull said. "I haven't taken the job. I've been staying away so you'd stay off their radar and out of their line of sight." Zach was his weakness. He'd come to realize that during his near-panicked trip to Zach's apartment after he'd given Zach that stupid advice. If they really wanted him to do something, all they needed to do was put pressure on him through Zach, and Bull would do just about anything to keep him safe. Bull was falling in love. He knew that, and it scared the h.e.l.l out of him. He kept his expression measured and under control.

"If you don't want to see me, then say so. But there's no need to ignore me and avoid my calls," Zach said, his eyes filling with fire.

"It isn't that I don't want to see you," Bull explained, his stomach tying itself in knots. "It's that I want you safe." He raked his gaze over Zach. "I need to know you're safe. If I could keep you with me all the time and watch over you day and night, I would." Bull shifted and tried to make it look like he was watching the crowded dance floor, but his attention was drawn to Zach. "They've approached me twice more, and each time they've become more and more insistent."

"Why you? Why can't they leave you alone and just find someone else?" Zach asked. "You have a life now and people who care about you." Zach stared at him, and Bull couldn't help smiling.

"These are people who care only for themselves and what they want. Others don't matter to them. Since they were born, everyone around them has given them everything they could possibly have asked for, so the concept of being told no only means they need to ask the question differently."

"So you've stayed away to protect me?" Zach asked. His grin was back. "You know, you could tell me when you decide things like that." Bull stared at him in complete surprise. "I'm not some weak little girl who needs protecting. I can take care of myself, and just so we're clear, I spent a good part of the time you were avoiding me wondering if you cared at all!" The music that had been pounding through the club suddenly stopped, and Zach's final words echoed through the s.p.a.ce. The music started again, and Zach turned around and walked off, disappearing in the ma.s.s of people writhing and jumping on the dance floor.

"What the h.e.l.l just happened?" Bull asked himself out loud.

"Maybe you need to talk to him instead of acting like a caveman." Bull looked down and saw Zach's friend Jeremy staring up at him. "He really cares about you." Jeremy took a step away, but then turned around. "If you care about someone, you don't make their decisions for them. You make the decisions together." Jeremy left, and Bull clenched his fists in frustration. He'd been trying to make sure nothing happened to Zach because the thought of him hurt scared Bull to death. Instead, it seemed Zach and his friends were angry at him for staying away.

Bull stayed where he was, though he wasn't really seeing what was happening around him. A fight broke out on the other side of the club, and it wasn't until the other bouncers broke it apart that he saw what was happening. Bull cursed under his breath and pushed all thought of Zach to the back of his mind. He had a job to do. That was what he was here for. Not to spend his time thinking of.... Bull's internal pep talk stopped like the needle on a record when he saw Zach dancing just a few feet away, moving and shaking his little behind. Zach didn't look at him, but Bull knew deep down this performance was for him.

The beat of the music slowed and so did Zach, gliding and weaving his body in erotic undulations that Bull could not look away from. His mouth went dry and he stared at Zach as he danced. The rest of the people in the club seemed to disappear, leaving only Zach moving his lithe body in flowing rhythms to the music. Bull stepped forward to where Zach danced and placed his hand on his shoulder. Zach stopped moving and turned toward him. "Was that little show for everyone, or just for me?"

Zach's gaze raked over him. "That dance was for the person who truly cares about me and my feelings. Is that you?" Zach challenged.

Bull reached down and cupped Zach's chin in his hand. "You know it is," Bull said.

"Then we do things together," Zach said. "I'm not asking to make your decisions for you, but I want you to talk to me before making decisions that affect us. And you staying away and keeping your distance definitely affects us."

"Okay," Bull agreed. "I'll try my best. But my judgment isn't as sound as it should be where you're concerned."

Zach moved closer, wrapped his arms around Bull's neck, and tugged him down. "If you don't think I would fight for you just as hard as you'd fight for me, you're full of s.h.i.t."

Bull knew Zach thought he could fight for him, but these people would stomp Zach out if they thought it would get Bull to do what they wanted, and that thought alone was enough to make Bull's heart ache. However, it had been a very long time since anyone had said they'd fight for him. What mattered was the sentiment behind Zach's comment, rather than his actual ability to fight. "All right," Bull said, and Zach nodded, but didn't let go.

"I have one more question: Will you dance with me?" Zach asked.

"I'm supposed to be working," Bull said. "How about we dance together after I get home? You can put some music on and we'll dance privately." Bull leaned close. "When we're at home, I can actually strip you naked while we dance." Bull felt Zach shiver in his arms and he leaned in, kissing him hard before backing away. "I really need to try to concentrate on my work and I can't do that with you distracting me every few minutes."

"I know. I didn't intend to stay long. But I wanted you to know exactly what you'd been missing," Zach said with a mischievous smile.

"You're a minx, you know that?" Bull told him.

"And only you get to see it, just like I'm the only one who sees that you're one of the kindest men I've ever met," Zach whispered. "And don't worry, I have no intention of spreading that around or otherwise I'd have to fight the boys off you with a stick." Zach kissed him and then backed away. Bull watched him as he walked over to the table where his friends waited. Zach sat down, and they began talking. Bull turned away and was finally able to concentrate, at least for a few minutes.

Thankfully, Zach and his friends only stayed for another hour or so and then left. He made Zach promise not to be alone. He didn't tell him the exact reason, and thankfully Zach didn't ask.

"We're all going to Kevin's," Zach told him, "and then I'll come to your place and be waiting for you when you get done with work." Needless to say, the thought of Zach waiting for him at his place was enough to keep Bull on his toes the entire night and to rush the last people out of the club as soon as they closed. He helped Harry close up, trying to keep his impatience from showing.

As he left the club at the end of the night, Bull looked all around for any signs he might be watched. He didn't feel like he was, but that might only mean he hadn't picked up on it.

"Are you going to be okay?" Harry asked as Bull checked over his car before unlocking it and getting inside. "I can follow you home if you need me to."

"No, I'm just being paranoid." Granted, that paranoia had helped keep him alive in the past. "I'll see you before opening." Bull drove directly home. The streets were largely deserted at this hour. He'd be able to spot anyone following him a mile away, and if someone had been watching him, they'd know where he was going at this hour. He turned the radio on low and drove.

Bull finally pulled into his driveway and turned off the engine. All night, whenever his mind was idle, which was more often than usual, he'd thought about Zach waiting for him when he got home. Low lights burned in the kitchen and living room. He wasn't sure if he'd find Zach waiting for him in bed or asleep on the sofa, but he smiled as he got out of the car and unlocked the back door. His mother had been gone a week, and to his surprise he missed her a little. Things had changed. He wasn't sure if it was permanent, but it was definitely a start, and largely thanks to Zach.

The scent of strong coffee reached his nose as soon as he opened the door. He stepped inside, closed the door, and walked into the kitchen. "Zach, you didn't...." Bull stopped midsentence when he saw Junior's father, Sheik Rashad, sitting at his table with a coffee cup in front of him. "Where's Zach?" Bull asked without any sort of preamble.

"Your little friend is fine," Rashad said, but his eyes spelled out the unsaid "for now." He sipped from the cup and then set it back down with the slightest ting. "Would you like some? I brought it from home. I thought it might help bring back memories for you."

"No," Bull said, watching Rashad as he pulled out his chair. "Why are you here?"

"Because you have repeatedly turned down my generous offers of employment," he said matter-of-factly.

Bull glanced around the kitchen and then out into the living room. Lights flickered in the other room. The television had been left on, but with the sound muted. He could see the sofa, but it was empty. "Where is Zach?" he asked slowly.

"He has not been harmed, I a.s.sure you," Rashad told him. "We have more important things to talk about than your... little dalliance." He lifted the cup one more time. "I came here to speak with you man to man, with no intermediaries to get in the way." He sipped and set down the cup. When he turned back toward him, Bull saw something he'd never seen in the always confident and a.s.sured sheik before: fear. Bone-deep, panic-inducing fear. He hid it well, but he couldn't hide it from Bull.

"It's a long way to travel to offer someone a job," Bull said. "Why is this so important that you'd send multiple messages and have people watching me? I'm not in the business any longer. I haven't done any jobs since the one that resulted in Junior's death." He kept his voice level and as cool as he could. "And I don't intend to do any more. I have a life here now, and there are many other people who can do the job you need."

"That's where you are wrong," Rashad said, his accent becoming thicker, the only indication of his frustration. "I owe you a great debt for saving the life of me and my son. Junior threw away that gift through his stubbornness. But I have not, and I need the services of the man who saved my life once." He paused and swallowed. "I need that man to protect the life he saved."

Bull paused to clear his head. He was exhausted, but he needed to keep his mind sharp. "Why do you need protecting? You have a team of bodyguards and an around-the-clock security detail. What difference could I make?"

"My security detail has been infiltrated. The traitor has been rooted out and taken care of," Rashad said. "However, the group that killed my son has grown and shifted into a terrorist group that is now forging links with others. They must be eliminated before they can pose a threat to my country and my entire family."

Bull stared at the sheik, his mind divided between what he was being told and his concern over Zach. Was he still in the house, or had Rashad taken him somewhere to be used as leverage? He did believe Rashad was telling him the truth and that Zach was unharmed. Rashad's pride would not allow him to lie so baldly. He might prevaricate, though. "Is this threat because of the raid that killed your son?"

Rashad didn't nod or answer at first. "That unfortunate incident might have been the catalyst for a number of the issues facing my country. You understand my country and my family." The sheik's gaze faltered. "You were part of my family once." Bull nodded. That had ended with the initial discovery of his relationship with Junior. "And once you are family, you are always family, even when the head of that family acts rashly out of pain and pride."

Bull nodded his understanding of the implications Rashad was suggesting. "I am still the same person I was then, and the man you found here in my house means as much to me as your son did." Rashad's expression shifted, as if the coffee had just turned bitter. "I know you don't understand, either by will or inability, but things between your son and me were not how you think they were. It was deeper than merely physical."

Rashad sighed, some of the fire leaving his eyes, but he retained his rigid posture. "That is not possible."

"You might not think so, but nonetheless they were. I deeply cared for Junior, and he hurt me when he left."

"He returned to his family and his obligations," Rashad said, his words measured.

Bull knew there was little hope of ever getting the conservative sheik to understand, but he had to try one last time. "I know that you loved Junior's mother very deeply. According to what Junior told me, the two of you were a love match. He told me his mother lit up whenever the two of you were in the same room." Bull watched Rashad's expression. "I can see that it's true."

"Yes, it was. I still mourn her pa.s.sing."

Bull nodded very slowly. He was treading on quicksand. "What would your life have been like if she had not been part of it? Would you have been as happy and contented for the time you had her? Would your heart have rejoiced every day if she had not held part of it?"

"No," Rashad admitted.

"Then why is it so hard for you to accept that Junior might have felt the same way for me, and I for him? I know this is very foreign to your way of thinking, but what if it's true anyway?" Bull decided to press on. "I know you are a wise and thoughtful man. So I'm asking you to try to understand that I cannot work for you any longer. I watched a person I cared for die in front of me. I did not mourn him openly out of respect for his memory and your family. I did my mourning out of sight. But returning to your country, fighting the same battle that killed Junior over again, is not something I'm willing or able to do." Bull sighed. "What we started all those years ago was a mistake. You and your people are still paying for that mistake in deaths and lost sons."

Rashad slowly rose to his feet, and Bull stood as well. "There is nothing I can do to convince you?"

"Short of taking an action that would make you my enemy, no," Bull said. He extended his hand, and Rashad hesitated before taking it. "I will share what I've learned: the best form of security is peace."

"I wonder if that is possible," Rashad said.

"I don't know either, but if it is possible, then you're the one person who can show the way," Bull told him. "You care for your people and have their respect. You lost your son to this conflict, so maybe if you're willing to forgive, then others will be as well." Bull's heart pounded.

"You should have been a diplomat rather than a soldier," Rashad said.

Bull shook his head. "Thank you," he said calmly. Rashad pulled out his phone and made a quick call, speaking in Arabic. Then he hung up, and Bull walked him to the door. A limousine pulled into the drive. It stopped, and a man held the door for Rashad. Bull saw him pause for a second, their gazes meeting.

"Your small friend is inside and unharmed." Rashad nodded and then ducked into the car, followed by his security man. The car then backed out of the drive and sped away.

As soon as they were gone, Bull raced back inside and through the house. He found Zach asleep on top of his bed with the spread curled around him. "Sweetheart," Bull said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He lightly kissed Zach's forehead and Zach blinked. "Are you okay?" Bull pulled him into a hug. "I thought you might have been hurt." The things that had gone through his mind at first had scared him to death.

"Why? What happened?" Zach asked, and Bull inhaled deeply and sighed. Zach had no idea anyone had been in the house.

"Nothing," Bull said. "I'll tell you all about it later." He covered Zach's mouth with his, kissing him hard, listening as Zach's moans became louder and more insistent by the second. Zach panted when they broke the kiss. "Let me lock up the house and I'll be right back." Bull checked all the doors before returning to the bedroom. Zach had rolled over, and his b.u.t.t stuck out from under the bedspread. Bull smiled and stripped off his clothes before straightening the bedding and helping Zach get under the covers. Then he did the same. Zach inched back until they pressed together. He mumbled something Bull couldn't understand and then went quiet, almost instantly falling back to sleep. Bull closed his eyes and followed right behind him.

"BULL'S RESIDENCE RESIDENCE." Bull woke to Zach talking. Bull woke to Zach talking.

"This is Zach," he heard him say. Bull opened his eyes and saw Zach sitting up in bed, talking on the phone. He hadn't even heard it ring. "I'll get him for you." A pause. "Oh, okay," Zach said, sounding wary. Bull groaned as he sat up and watched as Zach listened to whoever was on the phone. "That's very nice. I'd like that." Zach smiled. "Yes, he's right here. I think he just woke up." Zach covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "I grabbed for the phone to let you sleep. I hope it's okay."

"Of course," Bull said, blinking.

Zach pa.s.sed him the phone. "It's your mother."

Bull stifled a groan before knitting his brows together, wondering why Zach was so happy. "h.e.l.lo," he said groggily.

"You never call," his mother said, happily. She sounded happy happy.

"Sorry. I've been busy for the past week." Boy, had he ever. "What's up?"

"Your stepfather and I have decided to try to patch things up," his mother said. "We've both done and said things we wished we hadn't. So we've decided to reconcile, date, and see what happens."

"I'm glad you're happy," Bull said.

"It sounds like someone else is happy too," she said and then giggled. His mother never giggled. Bull checked the caller ID just to make sure. "That's a very good thing."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my mother?" Bull asked. "I take it things have changed for you?" Bull lay back and let his eyes drift closed as he listened.

"Yes. You were right, d.a.m.n it," she said. "I asked some of my friends here, and they said the same thing you did." She didn't sound very pleased.

"Mom, it's good. You can fix it," Bull said. "And you'll be happier because of it." The covers that had pooled around his waist slipped away and Zach stretched across his lap. Bull shivered when he felt Zach's lips slide along his c.o.c.k, which perked up instantly. "I'm on the phone to my mother," Bull whispered, covering the mouthpiece.

"Mr. Happy doesn't seem to care," Zach said and then sucked the head between his lips. Bull stifled a groan, rolled his eyes, and tried to listen to what his mother had to say.

"I really think that I will be," she said.

"That's great," Bull said, gritting his teeth to keep from moaning loudly into his mother's ear. "I think in a few months, once it gets colder here, Zach and I will plan a trip to come see you." Zach sucked him hard, and Bull inhaled deeply, releasing his breath slowly so his mother wouldn't know he was getting the b.l.o.w.j.o.b of his life. "Mom, I have to go. I need to sleep a while longer and then get a few things done before work. I'll call you in a few hours." He was trying desperately to keep from screaming his lungs out.

"Okay, we'll talk soon," she said and disconnected the call.

Bull tossed the phone onto the bed. "You're in such trouble," he said, threading his fingers through Zach's soft hair.

"Do you want me to stop?" Zach asked. He then sucked him deep and hard, driving any remark Bull might have been able to make from his mind, not that Bull minded in the least.

"Jesus, what you do to me," Bull groaned. Zach didn't answer, at least not in words, as he bobbed his pretty head on Bull's c.o.c.k.

Bull slowly slid down the mattress, and Zach went right along with him. Once he was lying flat, Bull nudged Zach around until he straddled his head. Then he guided Zach lower and returned the favor. Zach stilled and hummed throatily as Bull sucked him.

"Bull," Zach said quietly. "It's too much."

Bull patted Zach's b.u.t.t, and he shifted to the side. Bull sat up and kissed Zach hard, then positioned him on the bed. Then he ran his hand down his back and over his b.u.t.t. "Spread your legs farther apart."

"Bull," Zach said self-consciously. Bull kissed Zach's cheek and stroked down his spread crack, teasing the flesh of his opening. Zach hissed softly and moaned. Bull licked his cheek and moved closer. "What are you doing? Oh my G.o.d!" Zach cried.

Bull licked him, then sucked his tender flesh, Zach's intense musk bursting on his tongue. "Like that?" he asked.

"You bet your a.s.s," Zach told him, and Bull tried to keep from laughing. Zach never swore, at least not like that. Bull returned to licking and tasting, listening as Zach slowly went to pieces. He shook, vibrated, and made whimpery sounds, clutching the bedding so tightly a few times Bull swore it was going to tear. "Please, Bull, don't make me wait anymore."

Bull straightened up and reached over to the bedside table for a condom and some lube. After thorough preparation that elicited more moans that drove Bull halfway to heaven, he slowly pressed into Zach's body.

He'd f.u.c.ked many men in his life, most of them nameless and faceless, but he'd know Zach's body anywhere. Bull stroked Zach's smooth b.u.t.t as he soothed him, waiting for the telltale high-pitched moan that told him Zach was ready. Then he began to move as slowly as his pa.s.sion-fevered mind would allow. After a few minutes, he pulled out and helped Zach roll over. He'd never really cared if he could see the people he was having s.e.x with, but while making love to Zach, he felt a need. He had to see into his eyes, watch as they widened or glazed over with pa.s.sion, or see his mouth hang open as he came.

They moved together with what was becoming practiced ease. "I could love on you forever," Bull said. Zach gasped and stilled completely. Bull wondered if something was wrong and stopped as well. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Zach said. "You said love for the first time."

"Oh," Bull said as fear ran up his spine. "Is that bad?"

"No." Zach grinned. "It's good. Really good." Zach reached forward and tugged him down, holding Bull around the neck while he kissed him. "Because I love you too."

Now it was Bull's turn to still. "You do?" He stroked Zach's cheek.

"Of course I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been mad at you for not calling me." Zach rolled his eyes and then grinned. "Sometimes you're a bit of a yutz." Bull slowly withdrew and pushed back into Zach. That smile faded, and the impending giggle morphed into a long, deep moan.

"Now who's a yutz?" Bull countered, changing the angle so there was no way Zach could answer. Talk was overrated and Bull decided it was time to let his body do the talking. He thrust faster, making Zach moan and whimper. All attempts at conversation ended as they moved together. The bed shook and might have banged the wall a few times. Zach's moans changed into deep groans and then yells of pa.s.sion that echoed off the walls. The moans turned to pleading for release. As Bull felt his own climax nearing, he stroked Zach hard and fast. Zach rolled his head back and forth on the pillow, mumbling something completely incoherent, until his entire body tensed. Bull stroked faster, plunging harder into Zach's body until he felt him start to come. Bull followed right behind, and the entire world held still.

Bull opened his eyes, and Zach stared back at him. It could only have been a few seconds, but it seemed wonderfully longer. Zach had told him he loved him. Only one other person had done so in recent memory. "What is it?" Zach asked. "You look pale."

"I'm fine," Bull whispered.

"No, you're not," Zach countered and stared at him. "How long has it been since someone told you they loved you?" Bull didn't answer. "It was Junior, wasn't it?"

Bull nodded. "Before that it was my dad."

"Having someone tell you they love you doesn't mean they're going to die," Zach said. Bull knew it had to be a guess on Zach's part, but he'd hit the nail on the head. "I love you," Zach repeated.