How to Write Clearly Part 5

*32. In a long conditional sentence put the "if-clause," antecedent, or protasis, first.*

Everyone will see the flatness of "Revenge thy father's most unnatural murder, if thou didst ever love him," as compared with the suspense that forces an expression of agony from Hamlet in--

"_Ghost._ If thou didst ever thy dear father love-- _Hamlet._ O, G.o.d!

_Ghost._ Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder."

The effect is sometimes almost ludicrous when the consequent is long and complicated, and when it precedes the antecedent or "if-clause."

"I should be delighted to introduce you to my friends, and to show you the objects of interest in our city, and the beautiful scenery in the neighbourhood, if you were here." Where the "if-clause" comes last, it ought to be very emphatic: "if you were _only_ here."

The introduction of a clause with "if" or "though" in the middle of a sentence may often cause ambiguity, especially when a great part of the sentence depends on "that:" "His enemies answered that, for the sake of preserving the public peace, they would keep quiet for the present, though he declared that cowardice was the motive of the delay, and that for this reason they would put off the trial to a more convenient season." See (27).

*33. Suspense[13] is gained by placing a Participle or Adjective that qualifies the Subject, before the Subject.*

"_Deserted_ by his friends, he was forced to have recourse to those that had been his enemies." Here, if we write, "He, deserted by his friends, was forced &c.," _he_ is unduly emphasized; and if we write, "He was forced to have recourse to his enemies, having been deserted by his friends," the effect is very flat.

Of course we might sometimes write "He was deserted and forced &c."

But this cannot be done where the "desertion" is to be not stated but implied.

Often, when a participle qualifying the subject is introduced late in the sentence, it causes positive ambiguity: "With this small force the general determined to attack the foe, _flushed_ with recent victory and _rendered_ negligent by success."

An excessive use of the _suspensive participle_ is French and objectionable: _e.g._ "_Careless_ by nature, and too much _engaged_ with business to think of the morrow, _spoiled_ by a long-established liberty and a fabulous prosperity, _having_ for many generations forgotten the scourge of war, we allow ourselves to drift on without taking heed of the signs of the times." The remedy is to convert the participle into a verb depending on a conjunction: "Because we are by nature careless, &c.;" or to convert the participle into a verb co-ordinate with the princ.i.p.al verb, _e.g._ "_We are_ by nature careless, &c., and therefore we _allow_ ourselves, &c."

*34. Suspensive Conjunctions, e.g. "either," "not only," "on the one hand," add clearness.*--Take the following sentence:--"You must take this extremely perilous course, in which success is uncertain, and failure disgraceful, as well as ruinous, or else the liberty of your country is endangered." Here, the meaning is liable to be misunderstood, till the reader has gone half through the sentence.

Write "_Either_ you must," &c., and the reader is, from the first, prepared for an alternative. Other suspensive conjunctions or phrases are _partly_, _for our part_; _in the first place_; _it is true_; _doubtless_; _of course_; _though_; _on the one hand_.

*35. Repeat the Subject when the omission would cause ambiguity or obscurity.*--The omission is particularly likely to cause obscurity after a Relative standing as Subject:--

"He professes to be helping the nation, which in reality is suffering from his flattery, and (he? or it?) will not permit anyone else to give it advice."

The Relative should be repeated when it is the Subject of several Verbs. "All the pleasing illusions _which_ made power gentle and obedience liberal, _which_ harmonized the different shades of life, and _which_, by a bland a.s.similation, incorporated into politics the sentiments that beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason."

*36. Repeat a Preposition after an intervening Conjunction, especially if a Verb and an Object also intervene.*

"He forgets the grat.i.tude that he owes to those that helped all his companions when he was poor and uninfluential, and (_to_) John Smith in particular." Here, omit _to_, and the meaning may be "that helped all his companions, and John Smith in particular." The intervention of the verb and object, "helped" and "companions," causes this ambiguity.

*37. When there are several Verbs at some distance from a Conjunction on which they depend, repeat the Conjunction.*[14]

"When we look back upon the havoc that two hundred years have made in the ranks of our national authors--and, above all, (_when_) we refer their rapid disappearance to the quick succession of new compet.i.tors--we cannot help being dismayed at the prospect that lies before the writers of the present day."

Here omit "when," and we at once subst.i.tute a parenthetical statement for what is really a subordinate clause.

In reporting a speech or opinion, "that" must be continually repeated, to avoid the danger of confusing what the writer says with what others say.

"We might say that the Caesars did not persecute the Christians; (_that_) they only punished men who were charged, rightly or wrongly, with burning Rome, and committing the foulest abominations in secret a.s.semblies; and (_that_) the refusal to throw frankincense on the altar of Jupiter was not the crime, but only evidence of the crime."

But see (6 _b_).

*37 a. Repeat Verbs after the conjunctions "than," "as," &c.*

"I think he likes me better _than_ you;" _i.e._ either "than you like me," or "he likes you."

"Cardinal Richelieu hated Buckingham as sincerely as _did_ the Spaniard Olivares." Omit "did," and you cause ambiguity.

*38. If the sentence is so long that it is difficult to keep the thread of meaning unbroken, repeat the subject, or some other emphatic word, or a summary of what has been said.*

"Gold and cotton, banks and railways, crowded ports, and populous cities--_these_ are not the elements that const.i.tute a great nation."

This repet.i.tion (though useful and, when used in moderation, not unpleasant) is more common with speakers than with writers, and with slovenly speakers than with good speakers.

"The country is in such a condition, that if we delay longer some fair measure of reform, sufficient at least to satisfy the more moderate, and much more, if we refuse all reform whatsoever--I say, if _we adopt so unwise a policy, the country is in such a condition_ that we may precipitate a revolution."

Where the relative is either implied (in a participle) or repeated, the antecedent must often be repeated also. In the following sentence we have the Subject repeated not only in the final summary, but also as the antecedent:--

"But if there were, in any part of the world, a national church regarded as heretical by four-fifths of the nation committed to its care; a _church_ established and maintained by the sword; a _church_ producing twice as many riots as conversions; a _church_ which, though possessing great wealth and power, and though long backed by persecuting laws, had, in the course of many generations, been found unable to propagate its doctrines, and barely able to maintain its ground; a _church_ so odious that fraud and violence, when used against its clear rights of property, were generally regarded as fair play; a _church_ whose ministers were preaching to desolate walls, and with difficulty obtaining their lawful subsistence by the help of bayonets,--_such a church_, on our principles, could not, we must own, be defended."

*39. It is a help to clearness, when the first part of the sentence prepares the way for the middle and the middle for the end, in a kind of ascent. This ascent is called "climax."*

In the following there are two climaxes, each of which has three terms:--

"To gossip(a) is a fault(b); to _libel_(a'), a _crime_(b'); to slander(a''), a _sin_(b'')."

In the following, there are several climaxes, and note how they contribute to the clearness of a long sentence:--

"Man, working, has _contrived_(a) the Atlantic Cable, but I declare that it _astonishes_(b) me far more to think _that for his mere amus.e.m.e.nt_(c), that to _entertain a mere idle hour_(c'), he has _created_(a') 'Oth.e.l.lo' and 'Lear,' and I am more than astonished, I am _awe-struck_(b'), at that inexplicable elasticity of his nature which enables him, instead of _turning away_(d) from _calamity and grief_(e), or instead of merely _defying_(d') them, actually to _make them the material of his amus.e.m.e.nt_(d''), and to draw from the _wildest agonies of the human spirit_(e') a pleasure which is not only _not cruel_(f), but is in the highest degree _pure and enn.o.bling_(f')."

The neglect of climax produces an abruptness that interferes with the even flow of thought. Thus, if Pope, in his ironical address to mankind, had written--

"Go, wondrous creature, mount where science guides; Go, measure earth, weigh air, and state the tides; Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule"--

the ascent would have been too rapid. The transition from earth to heaven, and from investigating to governing, is prepared by the intervening climax--

"Instruct the planets in what orbs to run; Correct old Time, and regulate the Sun; Go, soar with Plato to th' empyreal sphere, To the first good, first perfect, and first fair."

*40. When the thought is expected to ascend and yet descends, feebleness and sometimes confusion is the result. The descent is called "bathos."*

"What pen can describe the tears, the lamentations, the agonies, the _animated remonstrances_ of the unfortunate prisoners?"

"She was a woman of many accomplishments and virtues, graceful in her movements, winning in her address, a kind friend, a faithful and loving wife, a most affectionate mother, and she _played beautifully on the pianoforte_."

INTENTIONAL BATHOS has a humorous incongruity and abruptness that is sometimes forcible. For example, after the climax ending with the line--

"Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule,"