Gold Dust Part 20

_Pleasures of the heart_ cause anxiety, bitterness, rendings, and fears.

_Pleasures of the mind_ produce a void, vanity, jealousy, coldness, and humiliations! Teach me that all must pa.s.s away ... that nothing is true, nothing is good, nothing is eternal, but Thou, Thou only, O my G.o.d!

MY WILL

My deeds are the result of my will, and it is the will only that makes them of any value. Oh, then to begin with, I will learn submission! What I _wish_, may not always be good for me; what I am _bidden_ must be right.

O JESUS! grant me the grace of _obedience_, and then let me be bidden many things: works of piety, works of charity, self-renunciation, brilliant deeds, deeds that are ignored in my family life, or wherever I may be, there are numberless calls for all of these; LORD, behold Thy servant! may I be always ready when Thou hast need of me!

ALL THAT I HAVE

My G.o.d, how richly hast Thou blessed me!

Treasures of love, I offer them to Thee!

_I have relations_, dear ones, Thou knowest how I love them.... Ah, if it be Thy Will to take them from this world, before me, though I say it weeping, still I say it, Thy Will be done!

_I have friends._... If it be Thy Will they should forget me, think ill of me, leave me alone, with that loneliness of heart so bitter and so keen ... I yield them to Thee!

_I have worldly goods_ that give me a certain degree of comfort, by affording me the means of helping others poorer than myself.... Should it be Thy Will to deprive me of them, little by little, till at last I have only the bare necessaries of life left ... I yield them to Thee!

_I have limbs_ that Thou hast given me. If it be Thy Will that paralysis should fetter my arms, my eyes no longer see the light, my tongue be unable to articulate, my G.o.d, I yield them to Thee!

In exchange, grant me Thy Love, Thy Grace, and then ... nothing more, only Heaven!

O JESUS, abandoned by all in the garden of Gethsemane, in need then of comfort and strength:

JESUS, Thou Who knowest that at this moment there are some on earth who have no strength, no comfort, no support, oh! send to them some angel who will give them a little joy, a little peace! Oh, if only _I_ might be that messenger! What must I suffer, LORD?

If an outward trouble or inward pain be needful to make of me but for one moment a consoling angel to some poor lonely heart, oh! however keen the pain, or bitter the trouble, I pray Thee, grant it to me, JESUS!

O JESUS, in search of _lips_ to tell the love Thou bearest for Thy children; _lips_ to tell the poor and lonely they are not despised, the sinful they are not cast away, the timid they are not unprotected. O JESUS! grant that my lips may speak words of strength, love, comfort, and pardon. Let each day seem to me wasted that pa.s.ses without my having spoken of help and sympathy, without having made some one bless Thy Name, be it but a little child.

O JESUS! so _patient_ towards those who wearied Thee with their importunity and ignorance! JESUS, so long-suffering in teaching, and awaiting the hour of grace! JESUS, grant that I may be patient to listen, to teach, though over and over again I may have to instruct the same thing. Grant me help, that I may always show a smiling face, even though the importunity of some be keenly felt! and if through physical weakness I manifest ennui or weariness, grant, O JESUS, that I may speedily make amends, with loving words, for the pain I have caused.

O JESUS! Who with infinite tact didst await, seated at the roadside, the opportunity for doing good, simply asking a small service of the poor Samaritan woman Thou wouldst save, and draw to Thee.

O JESUS! grant that I may feel and understand all the pain that timidity, shyness, or reserve keep buried within the recesses of the soul. Grant me the tact and discretion that draws near without paining, that asks without repulsing, without humiliating, and thus enable me to bring peace and comfort to the wounded heart.

O JESUS! seeking some one as faithful dispenser of Thy blessings, grant _much_ to me, that I may have much to bestow on others. Grant that my hands may dispense Thine alms, that they may be as Thine, when Thou didst wash the feet of Thine Apostles, working for all, helping all; let me never forget that, like Thee, I am placed on this earth to minister, not to be ministered unto.

Grant that my lips may speak comforting words and give forth cheering smiles, that I may be as the well by the roadside, where the weary traveller stoops to drink, as the shade of the tree whose branches laden with fruit are extended over all that pa.s.s beneath.

O JESUS! to Whom all Thy children are so dear, and whatever they may be Thou carest for them, and rememberest they are the much-loved children of G.o.d! Oh! grant that in all my intercourse with others, I may only see, love, and care for their _souls_, that soul for whom, O G.o.d, Thou hast died, who like myself can call Thee FATHER, and with whom, near Thee, I hope to dwell, throughout the ages of Eternity.