Gold Dust Part 19

G.o.d sees that too much joy, too much happiness, procured by those little attentions for which you are so eager, would make you careless and slothful in prayer; too much affection would only enervate, and you would cling too much to earthly things; so in order to preserve your heart in all its tenderness and simplicity, He plants there a few thorns, and cuts you off from all the pleasures you fancy yours by right. G.o.d knows that too much praise would cause pride, and make you less forbearing to others, and so He sends instead humiliations. Let them be, then, these persons who unconsciously are doing G.o.d'S work within you.

If you cannot love them from sympathy, love with an effort of the will, and say to G.o.d, "My G.o.d, grant that without offending Thee, they may work my sanctification. I have need of them."

XVI.

HOLY COMMUNION

The result of a good Communion is, _within_, a fear of a sin, _without_, a love for others.

Holy Communion is a great aid to sanctification.

JESUS visits the soul, working in it, and filling it with His Grace, which is shed on all around, as the sun sheds forth its light, the fire gives out its heat.

It is impossible but that CHRIST, thus visiting the soul, should not leave something CHRIST-like within, if only the soul be disposed to receive it.

Fire, whose property is to give warmth, cannot produce that effect unless the body be placed near enough to be penetrated with the heat.

Does not this simple thought explain the reason that there is often so little result from our frequent Communions?

Do you long at each Communion to receive the grace bestowed by CHRIST that shall little by little fit you for heaven hereafter?

Will you, receiving thus the G.o.d of _Peace_ within, have for those around you kind words that shall fill them with calmness, resignation, and peace?

Will you, receiving thus the G.o.d of _Love_, gradually increase in tenderness and love that will urge you to sacrifice yourself for others, loving them as CHRIST would have loved them?

Will you, receiving Him you rightly name the _Gracious_ G.o.d, become yourself gracious, gracious to sympathize, gracious to forbear, gracious to pardon, and thus in a small way resemble the G.o.d Who gave Himself for thee?

This should be your resolve when about to communicate.

_Resolved_: to obey G.o.d'S Commandments in all their extensiveness, never hesitating in a question of duty, no matter how hard it may be; the duty of forgiving and forgetting some injustice or undeserved rebuke; accepting cheerfully a position contrary to your wishes and inclinations; application to some labor, distasteful, and seemingly beyond your strength....

If your duty seems almost _impossible_ to fulfil, ask yourself, "Is this G.o.d'S Will for me?" and if conscience answers _yes_, then reply also, _I will do it_.

All difficulties vanish after Holy Communion.

_Generous_: depriving yourself those days of Communion of some pleasures which though harmless in themselves, you know, only too well, enfeeble your devotion, excite your feelings, and leave you weaker than before.

_Generous_ means doing over and above what duty requires of us.

_Conscientious and upright_: not seeking to find out if some forbidden thing is really a _sin_ or not, and whether it may not in some way be reconciled to conscience.

Oh! how hurtful are these waverings between G.o.d and the world, duty and pleasure, obedience and allurements. Did JESUS CHRIST hesitate to die for you? and yet _you_ hesitate! Coward!

_Humble and meek_: treading peacefully the road marked out for you by Providence, sometimes weeping, often suffering, but free from anxiety, awaiting the loving support that never fails those who trust and renew their strength day by day. Living quietly, loving neither the world nor its praise, working contentedly in that state of life to which you are called, doing good, regardless of man's knowledge and approval, content that others should be more honored, more esteemed, having only one ambition,--_to love G.o.d, and be loved by Him_.

If this be the disposition of your soul, then be sure each Communion will be blessed to you, make you more holy, more like CHRIST, with more taste and love for the things of G.o.d, more sure of glory hereafter.

XVII.

AFTER HOLY COMMUNION

SELF-SACRIFICE

LORD! take me and lead me whithersoever Thou willest! Is it Thy Will that my life be spent in the midst of such incessant toil and tumult that no time is left for those brief moments of leisure of which I sometimes dream?

Yes! yes! I wish it also!

Is it Thy Will that lonely and sorrowful I am left on earth, while those I loved have gone to dwell near Thee above?

Yes! yes! I wish it also!

Is it Thy Will that unknown by all, misunderstood even by those whose affection I prize, I am looked upon as useless, on account of my stupidity, want of manner, or bad health?

Yes! yes! I wish it also!

Thou art Ruler. O my G.o.d! only be Thyself the Guide, and abide with me forever!

MY MEMORY

My Memory! the mysterious book--reflection of that of eternity, in which at each moment are inscribed my thoughts, affections, and desires.

Into Thy Hands I commend it, LORD, that Thou alone mayst write there, Thou alone efface!

Leave there, LORD, the remembrance of my sins, but efface forever the pleasures that led to them--were I to catch but a glimpse of their enticing sweetness, I might again desire them. Leave there the sweet memories of childhood, when I loved Thee with such simplicity, and my father, my mother, my family, were my sole affections. Those days, when the slightest untruthfulness, or even the fear of having sinned, left me no peace till I had confessed it to my mother. Those days, when I always felt my Guardian Angel near me, helping me in my work, and soothing my little troubles!

Leave me the remembrance of my first sense of the Divine absolution, when my heart overflowing with secret joy, I cried, _I am forgiven, I am forgiven_!

And then the recollection of my first Communion! oh, recall it to me, LORD, with its preparation so fearful, yet so loving; its joy so calm, so holy, yet so sweet, that even now the thought of it fills mine eyes with tears!

Leave me the remembrance of Thy Benefits! each year of my life is crowned with blessings ... at _ten_ ... _fifteen_ ... _eighteen_ ... _twenty_ years ... oh! I can well recall all Thy goodness to me, my G.o.d! Yes, receive my memory, blot out all that can estrange me from Thee, and grant that nothing apart from Thee may again find a place there!

MY MIND

Oh! by what false lights have I been dazzled! They showed me prayer as wearisome; religious duties too absorbing; frequent Communion as useless; social duties as a heavy bondage; devotion the lot of weak minds and those without affection.... Oh, I knew well how false it was, and yet I let myself be half-convinced!

When have I ever been more _zealous in labor_ than those days when I had fulfilled all my religious duties?

When more _loving and devoted_ than on the days of my Communions?

When have I felt _more free, more happy_, than when having fulfilled all the duties of my social position?

LORD, receive my mind, and nourish it with Thy Truth!

Show me that apart from Thee, _pleasures of the senses_ leave behind only remorse, disgust, weariness, and satiety.