Give Me Tomorrow Part 9

By the end of the week, she was obliged to venture out to the supermarket. Donning a pair of sungla.s.ses and tying a scarf over her head, she went during the lunch hour when she felt she was unlikely to run into anyone she knew but she was just rounding the end of the fruit and veg section when a voice hailed her.

'Mum!'

Her heart sank. She'd forgotten that Karen often popped into the local supermarket in her lunch break. There was no escape. She turned and forced a smile. 'Oh, h.e.l.lo, dear. How are you?'

'More to the point, how are you?' Karen looked cross. 'I've been trying to ring you for days on your mobile and your landline but no reply. I've been really worried. In fact, I was going to come round after school today to see if you were all right.'

Susan felt a pang of guilt. 'I'm so sorry, darling, I didn't think.'

'That's not like you, Mum.' Karen looked closer, narrowing her eyes. 'Are you really OK? Why are you wearing sungla.s.ses in here?'

'My eyes felt a bit strained. The lights are very harsh in here.'

Karen laid a hand on her arm, her face concerned. 'What's wrong, Mum? You don't look well at all.'

Susan opened her mouth to speak but suddenly and without warning, her eyes filled with tears. She swallowed hard but she was totally powerless to stop the sobs escaping her. Just a few caring words and suddenly here she was, sobbing her heart out like an idiot, right here in the middle of Tesco with everyone staring at her. Karen grasped her arm.

'Mum! What is it?' She glanced round at the curious customers trying to pretend they weren't looking. She took the handle of the trolley from Susan's hands. 'You can finish your shopping later. Come on, leave it for now. Come and have a coffee.'

There was no escape. Susan meekly allowed herself to be led by Karen to the cafeteria and deposited at a corner table, while she fetched the coffees. In a moment of wild panic, she contemplated making a run for it while Karen was otherwise occupied, but suddenly she found that she hadn't the strength, either of purpose or purely physically. Days of eating scratch meals, plus the shock of what had happened at the weekend, had sapped all her energy.

Karen returned to the table with a determined look on her face. She set down the tray and began to unload it. 'I've got you a sandwich too,' she announced. 'Prawn, you like prawns, don't you? You look to me as though you haven't been eating properly.'

The sight of the sandwich, mayonnaise oozing from between the slices, made Susan feel sick but she sipped the hot coffee gratefully.

'And for G.o.d's sake, take off those awful gla.s.ses and that headscarf,' Karen instructed. 'They make you look like Olga, the Russian spy!'

Susan obediently removed the sungla.s.ses and scarf, smiling in spite of herself. Karen smiled back.

'That's better.' She reached out a hand. 'Oh, Mum, your eyes are all red. You've been crying. Please tell me what's wrong.'

Susan pushed the plate containing the sandwich towards her daughter. 'I can't eat that. You have it.'

'No, I had lunch at school.' Karen took a paper napkin and wrapped the sandwich up. 'Put it in your bag, you can eat it when you get home.' She squeezed Susan's hand. 'Tell me what's wrong, Mum.'

Susan looked at her watch. 'Shouldn't you be getting back to school?'

'I've got a little while yet. Anyway, I'm not moving from here till you tell me what's wrong so if you don't want me to be late ... Mum you're not ill, are you? It isn't something serious?'

'No, nothing like that.' Defeated, Susan leaned back in her chair. 'It it's Ted,' she said. 'I thought he was a widower but it seems that his wife is still alive and in a home.'

'Oh, dear.' Karen shook her head. 'I did warn you, Mum.'

Susan felt the blood rush to her face. 'I don't need you saying I told you so, Karen. Not now, if you don't mind. I know what you said and I know I didn't listen, but I don't need my nose rubbing in it, honestly.' She dabbed at her eyes. 'We had such a lovely Christmas together. I rented the allotment next to his and we've had such a wonderful time, gardening together. We had so much in common, Karen. We were going to sell some of our produce at the farmers' market in the summer. We've had some lovely outings to the coast at weekends and and ...'

'And you've been sleeping together?' Karen said gently as she leaned across the table. 'I'm right, aren't I?'

Susan blushed furiously. 'You must think me a silly, gullible old woman,' she said, shredding the damp tissue in her hand.

'Not at all,' Karen said gently. 'And you're not an old woman, Mum. You're a very attractive mature woman, with feelings just like anyone else. You've been taken in, that's all.'

'I feel so ashamed.' Susan fumbled in her bag for a fresh tissue. 'You must think I've taken leave of my senses. It was his next-door neighbour who told me last Sunday. It was almost as though she was waiting for us to get back. It was horrible, Karen. She was so nasty and spiteful. You should have heard what she said that I was lowering the tone of the neighbourhood; that I was depraved and had no morals. She made me feel like like some old trollop.' She blew her nose and dabbed at her cheeks.

'So what did Ted say when you told him what she'd said?'

'I didn't give him the chance. I walked out came straight home.'

'And he hasn't tried to get in touch?'

'Oh, he's tried of course. He keeps on ringing and texting, but I don't reply. I don't want to hear his lame excuses. He lied to me.'

'He definitely told you his wife was dead?'

'Well ...' Susan took a deep breath. 'I've been thinking about that. I don't think he actually used those words, but he did say he'd been on his own for some years.' She looked at Karen. 'Devious. That's what he was. He let me believe what I wanted to believe. He thought he could pull the wool over my eyes.'

'Well, I think he owes you an explanation,' Karen said. 'You deserve one.'

'I don't want any more to do with him,' Susan said firmly. 'You said he could be a conman and it turns out you were right.'

Karen looked at her watch. 'I'm sorry, Mum, but I'll have to go. Look, pay for your shopping and I'll run you home on my way back to school.'

'But it isn't on your way,' Susan protested as she got up and took the trolley handle.

Karen took her arm. 'I haven't time to argue with you. Just let's get to the checkout.'

In the car on the way home, Susan realized that they'd only talked about her problems and she felt slightly guilty. Turning to Karen she said, 'You must think I'm awful; full of my own woes. I haven't asked how things are going with you. How are Simon and little Peter? And how is that new au pair girl of yours fitting in?'

'Simon and Peter are fine,' Karen told her. 'As for Adrey, I'm letting her go home to Holland for Easter. Her father hasn't been well and she wants to see him and the rest of her family. Seems there are quite a few of them back in Amsterdam. I think she's been feeling a little bit homesick too.'

'Do you think she might want to stay, once she gets back?' Susan asked, but Karen shook her head.

'No. She's promised me she won't do that. She loves it here really and she adores Peter.' She glanced at her mother. 'Why don't you come and stay with us for a few days at Easter?'

Susan hesitated. 'Oh, I don't know.'

'Come on, Mum,' Karen urged. 'You don't want to be stuck in the flat over the holiday feeling sorry for yourself, do you?'

Susan bridled. 'I don't think I've ever been one to wallow in self-pity.'

Karen laughed. 'Come off it, Mum. You know what I mean. It's ages since we've had a real family Easter.'

So finally Susan had agreed.

Once Susan was back in the flat, she felt better. Whether it was Karen's sympathy or just the change of scene, she didn't know or care. She felt stronger; almost ready to try and forget Ted and his duplicity and start making fresh plans for the future. 'I'll be fine,' she told herself as she unpacked her shopping and put it away. 'Maybe that Dutch girl will want to stay at home in Holland once she gets there, then they'll want me to take care of Peter again. Ted Mumford can go and find some other gullible woman to tell his lies to.'

But later that afternoon, as she sat there alone watching afternoon TV, she thought longingly about the allotment. All her little seedlings would be ready for p.r.i.c.king out now. She thought about the little shed on Ted's plot and how they'd brew mugs of tea when they took a break. Often, she'd take homemade cake or scones and jam to eat with it. Ted had loved that. He had loved her home cooking. Her thoughts wandered to the muscles in his strong arms and how they had rippled as he loaded the car boot with their gardening implements and although she tried hard not to remember the same strong arms, warm around her later as they lay together in his bed.

She sighed. They could have been so happy together if only if only ...

Chapter Fourteen.

'So I've asked her to come and spend Easter with us,' Karen said as she unpacked her briefcase.

'You've what?' Simon turned to look at her. 'You might have asked me first.'

Karen stared at him. 'Are you saying that I have to ask your permission to invite my own mother to stay for Easter?'

Simon gave an exasperated snort. 'b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, Karen! I'd planned for us to have some time to ourselves as Adrey is going home. I even thought we might slip away somewhere for a proper break.'

'I had to ask her, Simon. You should have seen her. She's absolutely devastated about this guy lying to her.'

He frowned. 'Well she's only got herself to blame really, hasn't she? I mean, some old geezer who goes around picking up women on buses. I ask you!'

'She really liked him though,' Karen said. 'They'd been gardening together. Mum had even got herself an allotment. They'd been on weekend jaunts to the seaside and they had all sorts of plans.'

'You'll be telling me next they'd been sleeping together!' Simon laughed.

'Well as a matter of fact ...'

'No!' He stared at her incredulously. 'At their age? Well, well. He must be a right old dog. Good for him!'

'Don't!' Karen said. 'It's not funny. I shouldn't have told you. Don't you dare let on to her that you know.'

Simon pulled a face. 'As if! Right, so they've split up. What happened? Was he two-timing her with some other old ...' He caught the look on Karen's face and stopped. 'What did he lie about anyway?'

'She'd got the impression that he was a widower but it seems that his wife is still alive.'

'But they're not together so...?'

'And in a care home,' Karen finished.

'Oh, I see. Well, I suppose that was pretty devious.'

'Exactly. So now perhaps you can see why she feels let down. She's humiliated and shamed.'

He shrugged. 'That's overreacting a bit, isn't it? It's not her fault. Anyway, I daresay it happens all the time.'

'Not to my mother, it doesn't. She's a different generation, Simon. In her day, that kind of thing was really scandalous. I still think it's a pretty rotten way to behave anyway. Morals have may have reached an all-time low but I'd have expected better from a man of his age.'

Simon smiled indulgently. 'I can see that some of Susan's indignation has rubbed off on you, my love.' He put his arms round her and pulled her close. 'Tell you what, if your mother is coming why don't we slip away, just the two of us and leave Peter with her?'

She pushed him away. 'We can't do that. She'll think I only invited her so that we can use her as a babysitter.'

He shook his head. 'Oh, you and your b.l.o.o.d.y conscience! OK, so we have to have your mum here and sit listening to her going on and on about her car crash of a love affair.'

'Oh, don't be ridiculous.' Karen sighed. 'You make having Mum for a couple of days sound like a boring ch.o.r.e.'

'Oh, heaven forbid!' Simon sneered.

'Why can't you cheerfully do something for someone else for a change? At least we're not going to be saddled with Louise this year. '

Simon turned in the doorway. 'Well, I suppose that's what you'd call a small mercy. Here's to a dreary Easter. I can hardly wait!'

Chapter Fifteen.

As we were preparing to break for lunch, Mark sidled across to me.

'Lou, can we talk?'

I was chatting to Phil and I gave Mark my freeze-'em-dead look. 'Can't it wait? I'm busy.'

He looked at Phil. 'Sorry, mate but will you excuse us? It's important.'

To my annoyance Phil grinned and walked away. 'See you, Lou,' he muttered.

I stared at Mark. 'For your information, that was an important conversation. What can you possibly want to talk about?'

'Us.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'I wasn't aware that there was an "us".'

He ignored the remark. 'We can't go on like this,' he said. 'It's too ridiculous for words. All I'm doing is putting a roof over my sister's head for a few weeks and you're hardly speaking to me. Can't you see I had no choice?'

'That's not the point. You let me down, Mark. I'd already told Di I mean, I'd already given my flat up.'

He frowned. 'But you've found another one. It was only for a few weeks anyway. We'll be going on tour soon.'

'As I just said, that's not the point.'

'Look, you say your flat is quite near, so can we go there and talk? I want to put things right between us, Lou.'

I panicked, remembering the glorified description I'd given him of my so-called flat. I'd die if he saw that it was only a bedsit, and a grotty one at that. I shook my head. 'It's not convenient.'

'Well, the pub, then. It won't be as private but it'll do. Oh, come on, Lou. Get down off that high horse of yours.'

I have to admit that it was nice, being on good terms with Mark again and knowing that he really cared what I was feeling, though I wasn't about to let him think me a pushover. It was true that he'd let me down and he was going to have to work hard for forgiveness. In the end, he offered to treat me to lunch and I accepted. We were just studying the menu when my phone buzzed in my bag. I fished it out.