Falling For The Ghost Of You Part 30

Relieved, I turn off my phone and toss it...somewhere. Then I bury my head under the blankets and surrender to the pounding pain in my head.

I feel like the survivor of a b.l.o.o.d.y war the next day, but I suppose I feel well enough to go to school. Might as well, I guess.

I am so late. I throw on a raggedy old shirt and a long blue skirt that appeared in my closet one day, origin unknown.

Where is my phone? I vaguely remember throwing it somewhere last night. c.r.a.p, I don't have time to look for it. At least I don't have to pick up Lauren today.

At first I think it's just my paranoid imagination that people are staring and whispering about me, but by the end of first period, I'm ready to start screaming at all the gawking idiots. Did Kim tell about Zane?

"What?" I say to Chelsea Lopez, who has the locker next to mine. "Why do people keep staring at me? What's going on?"

Chelsea looks surprised that I'm talking to her. We've only exchanged smiles and mumbled greetings until then.

"I guess everyone thinks you have the inside scoop," she says cautiously.

I am bewildered. "What inside scoop?"

Chelsea pulls back her light brown hair, and laughs uncomfortably. "On Lauren and Mr. Jensen," she says, like I should know.

"Lauren and Mr. Jensen? What about them?"

Now she looks really uncomfortable. "You really don't know?"

I grip the edges of my folder tightly. Ice forms in the pit of my stomach. "Please, just tell me."

"Ummm...you know Alissa Shermer? She caught Lauren and Mr. Jensen making out in his car yesterday morning."

"What?!"

Lauren...and Mr. Jensen??? Okay...what?! What the h.e.l.l?! That can't be right. She doesn't even like him! Lauren would never...

Then a horrible thought suddenly occurs to me.

"I have to go," I say abruptly, turning on my heel.

I spot Damon heading for his English cla.s.s. I grab his arm to get his attention. He immediately backs away, looking worried.

"What's your problem?" he demands nervously.

I glare at him. "Have you been hooking up with Lauren?"

Damon's eyes widen. "h.e.l.l, no. I have a girlfriend. Besides, I hear your girl, Lauren is into older men-"

I shake my head impatiently. "Why do you always look so guilty every time I see you?"

He rubs the back of his head-guiltily. "I, uh, thought you knew I was the one who spread that rumor about the naked pictures of you online."

"What naked-never mind, I don't want to know."

I turn to leave, but before I go, I whirl around and smack him in the arm. "Quit spreading rumors about me! a.s.shole."

I would have just left, but I'm on thin ice with Mom as it is. So I go straight to the nurse's office and fake a migraine. Ms. Hahn knows me as the straight A student who never gets in trouble, and I'm immediately cleared to go home. I knew my good girl rep would come in handy one day.

I drive straight to Lauren's, a million thoughts zooming through my head.

Lauren and Mr. Jensen? How? Why? How could she have not told me her boyfriend is our English teacher?!

A zombie resembling my best friend opens the door. She looks awful! There are huge bags under her eyes, and it looks as if she hasn't slept in a year.

"I tried to call you," she says dully, coming out and closing the door behind her.

"I turned my phone off and threw it somewhere," I say. "So. Is it true?"

Lauren nods tiredly. "Yeah."

Having her confirm it makes my heart sink. "Can you...talk somewhere?"

She glances back at her apartment. "I can't go far. Let's go outside."

We go to the apartment complex's tiny park and find a bench to sit down on.

"So he's the father?" I have to make sure. I've had enough misunderstandings to last me a lifetime.

Lauren looks down at her her hands folded over her stomach. She gives a tiny sigh. "Yeah."

"Okay. How? When?"

She shrugs. "It just sort of happened. When I started tutoring after school, he was always there. We started talking about our favorite books and authors, and...whatever. Then one night, he gave me a ride home. He kissed me. It was nice."

"Nice?" I echo faintly.

"He's different from all the other guys at school-he doesn't make stupid jokes all the time, or act like an idiot. We talked about everything."

"I told him about the baby. I was really freaked out, and he was trying to rea.s.sure me...we didn't think there would be anyone around so early."

I take a deep breath, a thousand questions on the tip of my tongue. "Okay, so he's going to step up and help you through this, right? Or am I gonna have to-"

"V, he's married," she blurts out.

A white hot bolt of fury shoots through me. I jump to my feet, shaking with rage. "What?! That b.a.s.t.a.r.d! What's his address?"

But Lauren is shaking her head. She looks so pale and fragile, I sit back down and try to calm down for her sake.

"He's probably going to be arrested. They're doing a formal investigation right now. I-I'm dropping out of school."

My jaw drops. "You can't! What about Stanford?"

"I don't know yet. The school called Mom. She had to come down to get me."

"Oh, G.o.d. What did she say?"

"She cried," Lauren murmurs. "Then she yelled a lot. When she finally calmed down, we had a long talk. She kind of blamed herself for always working, and never being around. Then...she said I helped her raise her babies, she can help me raise mine." She exhales loudly. "We're going to talk to the school counselor to see what my options are. My grades have always been good, and I have all that extra credit, so...we're optimistic."

"Does that mean you're keeping the baby?" I ask hopefully.

"I don't know," she hedges. "Mom's going to talk to one of my cousins to see if she might want to move in with us. To help out."

I poke her in the arm. "You'll have to get a bigger place."

She laughs weakly. "Yeah. We're probably going to move."

We sit there in silence for a while. My mind is reeling, trying to wrap my head around all the coming changes.

"It will work out, you know," I say, trying to sound convincing. "I'll help out any way I can-with whatever you need."

"Thanks, V. Sorry I didn't tell you before. It's just..."

"Yeah, you knew I'd kick your a.s.s."

Lauren smiles. "Yeah."

I shake my head at her. "A teacher," I sigh.

"A rock star," she shoots back.

We look at each other, and laugh. What a mess the two of us are. Good girls gone bad.

What are we going to do?

Chapter 34.

Without Lauren at school, the days are so long. But they're nothing compared to the night.

I dread the night. I lie in bed, unable to fall asleep. I can't stop thinking about Zane. What is he doing? Is he lying in bed, thinking of me? Or is he with Alaina Skye-or some other gorgeous woman? I could find out. All I have to do is check any of those celebrity websites that chronicles Aiden Cross' every move.

But I can't go there. I change the station whenever I hear his honey and s.e.x voice come on the radio (which is all the freaking time). I can't even stand to see his picture on the magazines in the store. It just hurts too much. I can't see Zane anywhere in Aiden's electric blue eyes. I miss Zane. I keep replaying that night we spent together in the hotel. I lie in bed and my body aches with the loss of his. I toss and turn all night, restless with a bone deep misery.

I know this is pathetic, but I check my phone all the time to see if he's called or texted. Why would he, right?

I try to get on with my life. I work at Sunset Park during winter break, and it helps a lot to keep busy. What doesn't help is the Christmas music, playing over the intercom all day and all night. Even the residents complain. Helize threatens to stab the life sized Santa in the dining room if someone doesn't turn it off. I kind of want to see her do it-it would so make my day.

So I started another book. It's not from my Breaking Time series-which I swear I'm going to start working on very soon. It's about a normal high school girl who meets and falls in love with a prince. Only she doesn't know he's a prince-she thinks he's just a regular gorgeous high school guy. Because he's disguised as a regular high school student...

Okay, so it's more like a diary than fiction. But writing it is a kind of catharsis for me. The girl's name is Rose and the secret prince is named Zeke. I know-who ever heard of a prince named Zeke, right? But his real prince name is Adrian George Harris, Prince of Valdania. I'm giving Rose an unrealistically happy ending, though. Fiction should be a place of lollipops and escape. Real life is depressing enough-I, for one, don't want to read about make believe misery, too.

Christmas day.

I was doing just fine, putting on a happy face for Mom. She loves every holiday, especially Christmas, and now that Bill keeps shoving money at her, she can afford to go all out. The house is like Christmas town. When I walk down the stairs, I half expect snowflakes to start falling on me. There's tinsel everywhere. I trip on it sometimes, when I'm half asleep.

Our enormous fake Christmas tree has a mountain of present piled beneath it. Mom, wearing a cute little elf hat, starts pa.s.sing out presents. There's just me and Bill, but she calls our name each time to receive yet another beautifully wrapped gift. Even Bill is smiling at her exuberance. He looks rumpled and so cute in his gingerbread men pajamas.

I get practically a whole new wardrobe, boxes of expensive technology, and cotton underwear from Grandma Mercer. Why does she insist on sending me flowered panties every Christmas? It's so weird. I wear them when I have my period. Which happens to be right now, yuck. No wonder I'm so cranky.

"This one's yours, too," Mom says, handing me a thin flat box. Her eyes are shining like, I don't know, Christmas stars, or something.

I accept the lightweight gift warily. Judging by the way she's eagerly watching me, I'm guessing this is the important present. "Thanks," I say.

"Open it!" she exclaims as I study the fat little reindeer wrapping paper.

Because it looks like she might pee herself with excitement, I quickly unwrap my present. A bright red shirt box. I open it up, move aside the tissue paper to find what look to be a white shirt.

More clothes? I paste a happy smile on my face and pull the shirt out, shaking it out to unfold it.

My smile sort of dies on my face when I see what's written in pink glitter on the front.

Big Sister.

For real.

I drop the shirt and gape at Mom-who is capturing my reaction on camera.

"Really?" I say. "Is that...?"

Weird words run through my mind: safe, legal, practical...none of them really fit the situation. I don't know how to react.

"I'm pregnant!" she exclaims gleefully.

"Well...congratulations!" I say, and I get up to hug her so she doesn't think I'm not happy for her.

I include Bill in my smile, and notice he's red with embarra.s.sment and pleasure. Mom reaches over and squeezes his hand. If Mom gets any happier, she may burst. I'm a little freaked at the thought of being a big sister for the first time, but I can get over it for her.

Oh, my G.o.d. A baby. Everyone's turning up pregnant these days.

"Have you seen a doctor yet? Everything's okay?" I ask nervously.

"Everything's wonderful, honey," Mom a.s.sures me. "They're going to monitor me a little more closely since I'm a bit older than the average mom." She makes a funny face. "But the doctor says so far so good!"

"Well...that's great. Just think--you'll have another kid to embarra.s.s the c.r.a.p out of after I've left the nest."

"This is true," she admits happily, pushing the sagging elf hat off of her eyes. "I'll still embarra.s.s you when you come visit, though. Wouldn't want you to go through withdrawal."