Every Man out of His Humour Part 26

MACI. Come, you'll never leave your stabbing similes: I shall have you aiming at me with 'em by and by; but --

CAR. O, renounce me then! pure, honest, good devil, I love thee above the love of women: I could e'en melt in admiration of thee, now. Ods so, look here, man; Sir Dagonet and his squire!

ENTER SOGLIARDO AND SHIFT.

SOG. Save you, my dear gallantos: nay, come, approach, good cavalier: prithee, sweet knight, know this gentleman, he's one that it pleases me to use as my good friend and companion; and therefore do him good offices: I beseech you, gentles, know him, I know him all over.

PUNT. Sir, for signior Sogliardo's sake, let it suffice, I know you.

SOG. Why, as I am a gentleman, I thank you, knight, and it shall suffice.

Hark you, sir Puntarvolo, you'd little think it; he's as resolute a piece of flesh as any in the world.

PUNT. Indeed, sir!

SOG. Upon my gentility, sir: Carlo, a word with you; do you see that same fellow, there?

CAR. What, cavalier Shirt?

SOG. O, you know him; cry you mercy: before me, I think him the tallest man living within the walls of Europe.

CAR. The walls of Europe! take heed what you say, signior, Europe's a huge thing within the walls.

SOG. 'Tut, an 'twere as huge again, I'd justify what I speak. 'Slid, he swagger'd even now in a place where we were -- I never saw a man do it more resolute.

CAR. Nay, indeed, swaggering is a good argument of resolution. Do you hear this, signior?

MACI. Ay, to my grief. O, that such muddy flags, For every drunken flourish should achieve The name of manhood, whilst true perfect valour, Hating to shew itself, goes by despised!

Heart! I do know now, in a fair just cause, I dare do more than he, a thousand times; Why should not they take knowledge of this, ha!

And give my worth allowance before his?

Because I cannot swagger. -- Now, the pox Light on your Pickt-hatch prowess!

SOG. Why, I tell you, sir; he has been the only 'Bid-stand' that ever kept New-market, Salisbury-plain, Hockley i' the Hole, Gadshill, and all the high places of any request: he has had his mares and his geldings, he, have been worth forty, threescore, a hundred pound a horse, would ha'

sprung you over the hedge and ditch like your greyhound: he has done five hundred robberies in his time, more or less, I a.s.sure you.

PUNT. What, and scaped?

SOG. Scaped! i'faith, ay: he has broken the gaol when he has been in irons and irons; and been out and in again; and out, and in; forty times, and not so few, he.

MACI. A fit trumpet, to proclaim such a person.

CAR. But can this be possible?

SHIFT. Pardon me, my dear Orestes; causes have their quiddits, and 'tis ill jesting with bell-ropes.

CAR. How! Pylades and Orestes?

SOG. Ay, he is my Pylades, and I am his Orestes: how like you the conceit?

CAR. O, 'tis an old stale interlude device; no, I'll give you names myself, look you; he shall be your Judas, and you shall be his elder-tree to hang on.

MACI. Nay, rather let him be captain Pod, and this his motion: for he does nothing but shew him.

CAR. Excellent: or thus; you shall be Holden, and he your camel.

SHIFT. You do not mean to ride, gentlemen?

PUNT. Faith, let me end it for you, gallants: you shall be his Countenance, and he your Resolution.

SOG. Troth, that's pretty: how say you, cavalier, shall it be so?

CAR. Ay, ay, most voices.

SHIFT. Faith, I am easily yielding to any good impressions.

SOG. Then give hands, good Resolution.

CAR. Ma.s.s, he cannot say, good Countenance, now, properly, to him again.

PUNT. Yes, by an irony.

MACI. O, sir, the countenance of Resolution should, as he is, be altogether grim and unpleasant.

ENTER FASTIDIOUS BRISK.

FAST. Good hours make music with your mirth, gentlemen, and keep time to your humours! -- How now, Carlo?

PUNT. Monsieur Brisk? many a long look have I extended for you, sir.

FAST. Good faith, I must crave pardon: I was invited this morning, ere I was out of my bed, by a bevy of ladies, to a banquet: whence it was almost one of Hercules's labours for me to come away, but that the respect of my promise did so prevail with me. I know they'll take it very ill, especially one, that gave me this bracelet of her hair but over night, and this pearl another gave me from her forehead, marry she -- what! are the writings ready?

PUNT. I will send my man to know. Sirrah, go you to the notary's, and learn if he be ready: leave the dog, sir.

[EXIT SERVANT.

FAST. And how does my rare qualified friend, Sogliardo? Oh, signior Macilente! by these eyes, I saw you not; I had saluted you sooner else, o'

my troth. I hope, sir, I may presume upon you, that you will not divulge my late check, or disgrace, indeed, sir.

MACI. You may, sir.

CAR. He knows some notorious jest by this gull, that he hath him so obsequious.

SOG. Monsieur Fastidious, do you see this fellow there? does he not look like a clown? would you think there were any thing in him?

FAST. Any thing in him! beshrew me, ay; the fellow hath a good ingenious face.

SOG. By this element he is as ingenious a tall man as ever swagger'd about London: he, and I, call Countenance and Resolution; but his name is cavalier Shift.

PUNT. Cavalier, you knew signior Clog, that was hang'd for the robbery at Harrow on the hill?

SOG. Knew him, sir! why, 'twas he gave all the directions for the action.