Doublecrossed Part 6

Marina called at nine a.m. on the b.u.t.ton. "Are you okay? I've been worried sick about you."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Something came up and I felt like I needed to be in Phoenix for a couple of days. I'm sorry I didn't give you more notice."

"You don't sound right."

"Well, I'm not alone..."

"Call me back as soon as you can. I'm worried about you, honey. Do you want me to come and be with you?"

"No, I'm fine. But it's going to be hard for me to get much free time. I promise I'll call you if I need anything."

"That's the best you can do?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid that's the best I can do. I need a few days at home to sort some things out. I'll call when I can."

"I love you, Callie. Promise you'll call me if you need anything. I'm going to be home until Tuesday and then I have to go to Acapulco until Sunday. Hey, do you want to go with me? My treat? It's a boring conference, but I'll have some free time."

"I don't think so. I'm not sure how long I'm going to have to be here, so I'm afraid to make any plans. But that's very sweet of you to offer."

"I love you," she said with even more feeling. "You sound really tense and I thought a few days by the ocean would make you feel better."

Callie had to force herself not to say what she was thinking. A couple of months ago she would have jumped at the chance. But now she just wanted some distance.

They lay around Terri's apartment for most of the day, drinking coffee and watching TV. They both loved to watch with the sound down and make up dialogue that always had them in st.i.tches. It was the kind of thing that Marina wouldn't have enjoyed a bit, but it was a long-standing tradition for Callie and Terri, and they always had a good time doing it.

They'd just eviscerated a home improvement show, riffing on the idea that the couples who were decorating each other's homes were going to switch wives at the end, when Terri asked, "How'd you feel the first time Marina slept with someone else?"

"Ugh! Don't remind me," Callie moaned, holding onto her stomach as though she were about to vomit. "It was like being beaten with a rubber hose. It took me weeks, maybe months to get over feeling like she was cheating."

"I never knew that. We talk almost every day and I never had a suspicion."

"I wasn't very proud of it."

"You? Why would you be ashamed of that?"

"Not of that. But I wasn't proud of myself for being in an open relationship and then having such a hard time getting comfortable with it. I didn't want anyone to know how I was struggling."

"You totally had me fooled. But..." Terri sat up in her chair, gazing at Callie with a look she couldn't quite decipher. "How'd it feel the first time you slept with someone else?"

"I'll...I'll let you know."

"What?" Terri sat up even straighter. "Are you saying you've never done it?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying." It was horrible having to admit this.

"Holy G.o.d! Why not?"

"'Cause I haven't wanted to."

"Haven't wanted to! You went through this whole negotiating thing. You've got permission!"

"I have to want to, Terri." She smiled and batted her eyes. "I've had offers, but I've never wanted to."

"Is Marina putting pressure on you to stay monogamous?"

"Ha! She's told me to sleep with people in Dallas since I don't travel. She doesn't mind if I sleep with a neighbor or a friend. Heck, she wouldn't care if I slept with her mother. She's fearless. She says jealousy's for people who don't have self-esteem."

"She's probably fearless because she knows you don't want to," Terri grumbled.

"She doesn't know." Callie said softly.

"What?"

"She doesn't know. I lie to her."

"That's very, very strange. You're in an open relationship, but you don't want to use it. She lies about not sleeping with people and you lie the other way. Who's on your list?"

"People I made up. Stop looking at me like that! Don't worry. I've never said I sleep with you."

"I'm not worried... Okay, that's not true. I don't want to be involved. I'd feel weird if she thought we slept together."

"She doesn't think that. But she's told me that I could. She actually wonders why we don't."

"You'd be a big improvement over my last few mistakes, but I've never felt s.e.xual towards you. You're more like a sister."

"Exactly. But Marina doesn't understand that. I don't think she likes people she isn't attracted to."

"That must be exhausting." Terri sat there for a few moments, her gaze traveling past Callie's head. "She must have an ego the size of Texas to urge you to sleep with your close friends."

"She's very, very confident. If I found someone I liked better, she'd be fine. She's never had a lick of trouble finding someone new."

"Obviously. But you've set this up so your girlfriend can sleep around. What's in it for you?"

"Other than embarra.s.sment?"

"Aww, shoot, I don't mean to embarra.s.s you." Terri moved from her chair to sit on the edge of the couch where Callie lay sprawled out. "I just worry about you."

Callie took her hands and hugged them against her body. "I know that." She placed a kiss on Terri's hand. "I can't explain why it's worked, but it has up until now. I like having time alone and she likes traveling. We don't share enough interests to be together all of the time, and to be honest, she wants too much s.e.x too often for me. Having some other women carry the load has been good."

"How much does she want? I know you've got a very good appet.i.te."

"I shouldn't tell you everything," Callie teased, gently biting Terri's hand.

"Too late to back out now. What's she good for?"

"Every day. Sometimes twice. And that'd be okay, but she wants full-out, sheet-drenching s.e.x. No quick o.r.g.a.s.ms before you fall asleep kinda s.e.x."

"Amazing." Terri shook her head. "How many other women has she been with?"

"That I know of?" she asked dryly. "Not many. Four or five-besides Angela. Every time she does it, though, it calms her down for a while. She needs that escape valve. And so do I."

"Do you think she's a s.e.x addict?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure that's a real addiction, but if it is she probably has it. To get a night off, sometimes I'll stay out late playing pool so I know she'll be asleep when I get home."

Terri leaned on Callie and moaned, "Why do you get too much and I don't get any?"

"I could lend you Marina."

"No, thanks. You're much more my type, sis."

Callie pulled Terri onto her and kissed every part of her face and neck that she could reach, peppering the giggling, thrashing woman with kisses. She finally stopped and they stayed just like that for a few minutes, holding each other as their racing hearts calmed. This was it. Having someone you could be yourself with. Someone you could trust your heart to. Someone you knew would never hurt you on purpose. Someone who loved you as much as you loved yourself. That was something Marina could never do. It was silly to hope for.

Terri had been invited to a big party, and after debating for a while, they decided to go. They got to the house fairly early, just after the snacks had been put out. Terri laughed when Callie moved a pair of chairs just behind the folding table that held cheese and crackers and corn chips and salsa and various dips.

"Come on, don't make me look like I'm the only one eating," Callie insisted, shoving another dip-laden cracker into her mouth.

"You are the only one who's eating." Terri took a chip and bit into a corner.

"You're the only person I know who takes six bites to eat a corn chip."

"That's why I'm the same size I was in college." She tilted her head back, looking down her nose. "If you don't stop stuffing your face, you won't be able the wear the jeans you wore yesterday."

"You know I eat when I'm upset."

"I know." Terri leaned over and kissed her on the temple. "I wish you weren't so conflicted."

Callie purposefully piled three pieces of cheese onto a cracker. Biting into it, she shook her head. "I'm not."

"Huh?"

"I'm not conflicted. I'm determined."

"To do what? Other than eat all of their food."

"To kick Marina to the curb."

"What? Why do you seem so calm?"

"I was half out when I found out about Angela. Finding out Marina lied about it almost got me out the door." She leaned over and kissed Terri's cheek. "Talking to you convinced me."

"Me?" Terri pointed to herself. Her face bore every sign of complete amazement. "What did I do? h.e.l.l, I told you what she did wasn't so bad."

"I know. But when you asked what had been great about our relationship and I couldn't come up with a list"-she formed her hand into a semblance of a gun and acted like she was firing it against her temple-"that was death."

"d.a.m.n." Terri shook her head, still looking dumbfounded. "Are you...upset? Sad? Anything? I can't tell."

"Yeah, sure I'm sad. But I've really been inching out ever since it first happened-so I've had time to get used to it."

"What are you going to do?"

"d.a.m.ned if I know. I can't decide if I should go home and pack up while she's still gone or make up my mind about things and go later."

Terri took her hand and gave her a pleading look. "Move back here. Please, please, please."

"I might. But I can't think about that now. I've gotta get out first." She started to make up another cracker. "Can we go out for tacos or something? I'm still gonna be hungry. This isn't nearly enough food."

After Terri left for work, Callie took a run around the neighborhood. A day or two at her mother's house seemed like the right move. Then she could make up her mind about whether to move back to Phoenix or stay in Dallas. The thought of a little mothering was too tempting to resist.

Her phone rang as she was heading for the shower. When she saw the text that showed on the display, her heart started to beat wildly. It was Regan. What to tell her? d.a.m.n, there were too many decisions to make and too little time to make them.

"Hi Regan."

"How did you know it was me?"

"When I called you, I made a contact entry for you. It's incomplete because I just put down your first name. I didn't know your last."

"It's Manning."

"M...a...n...n...i...n...g?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I've got it. I like to be organized, if that wasn't obvious." She waited for a couple of seconds to see if Regan would say why she'd called, but she was greeted with silence. "What's up?"

"I...I probably shouldn't have called, but I haven't told anybody about what happened with Angela and I'm..."

"Oh, wow. I don't think I could do that. I just spent seven hundred dollars that I couldn't afford to come visit my best friend and spend a couple of days feeling sorry for myself."

Regan's low, gentle laugh echoed across the miles. "I've been doing that since the day I found out. Feeling sorry for myself, that is. But I haven't talked to anybody."

"No one at all?"

"No. n.o.body. I learned my lesson years ago. My first girlfriend and I had a big fight, and I told anyone who'd listen. We made up almost immediately, but a lot of my friends never liked her again."

"So you're keeping this all inside yourself just for Angela's sake?"

She sighed, and the ragged exhaled breath showed Callie that she was on the verge of tears. "I guess."

Sensing that Regan was struggling for control, Callie took up the slack. "I think that's very kind of you. If you told your friends that Angela cheated on you, they'd hate her." She wasn't sure what to say next, but Regan didn't seem anxious to jump in. "Are you and Angela talking about this much?"

"No, not really. Angela's more of a doer than a talker."

"Sounds like Marina. Maybe that's what makes them good salespeople."

"Maybe."

Callie was thinking that Regan wasn't much of a talker either. "I'm usually the one who wants to talk, but not this time. For some reason, I just want to try to forget about it." Oh, d.a.m.n. Tell her now or hold off until things are settled.