Doctor Who_ Happiness Patrol Part 11

There was a rumbling in the distance - part of the pipe had caved in. Fifi was momentarily distracted by the sound - this was the chance Ace had been waiting for. She turned to Wences. 'The nitro! Give it here!'

Wences was paralysed with fear. 'Eh?'

'The can!'

Wences threw the can to Ace. Fifi saw what was happening and leapt towards them. 'Get down!' yelled Ace.

She waited until she could see the small red veins in Fifi's eyes, and threw the can, dropping to the ground.

There was a huge explosion.

10.

The Doctor had lost the pursuing Happiness Patrol guards in the alleys and wynds of the city. He was hiding in a small alcove waiting for the search to be called off. When he decided it was safe, he poked his head out. He seemed to be next to a small booth, with the words 'Stage Door'

painted roughly above the window. Then the Doctor recognized the steps of the Forum. He was back in the square where the TARDIS had landed earlier in the evening. The Forum Square. He also recognized it as the site of the waiting zone that he had been brought to with Ace, although there was now no sign of the slot machine or Priscilla P. He idly wondered what sort of trouble Ace was getting herself into.

Ernest P, the stage doorman, had done the job all his life. His father had done it, and his father's father before that. Generations of his family had discovered that the best way of dealing with the public was to be rude to them.

That way they went away and didn't bother you. Apart from the Happiness Patrol, of course. Ernest P was always pleased to see them.

The Doctor stood at the stage door window and doffed his hat to Ernest P. 'Excuse me, but wasn't this a prison earlier tonight?'

Ernest P did not look up from his paper. 'We don't have prisons on Terra Alpha.'

'Yes, yes, yes,' said the Doctor impatiently. 'A waiting zone, then.'

Ernest P sighed wearily and looked up at the Doctor. 'It's only a waiting zone during certain hours of the night, that is until it's time for the late show at the Forum.'

'The late show?'

'Happiness Patrol auditions.' Ernest P nodded towards the Forum. 'You want the main entrance, mate. Into the Forum Square, up the steps, can't miss it.'

'But I don't want the late show. I'm hiding.'

Ernest P returned to his paper. 'You need a permit to hide here.'

'It's in my other jacket,' said the Doctor.

Ernest had heard it all before. 'And where's that?'

'It's in my other jacket,' said the Doctor.

Ernest had heard enough. He slammed down his paper and struggled to his feet. 'Listen, mate. Authorized personnel and late show Happiness Patrol candidates only.

That's what the memo said.'

The Doctor thought of Ace again. 'So this is where they test candidates for the Happiness Patrol.'

The sound of boots on stone alerted the Doctor and he ducked back into his hiding place just in time to watch a Happiness Patrol run past, obviously still hunting him. He emerged when they had gone.

Ernest looked after them proudly. 'Some of the successful candidates,' he said.

'Some of the few,' said the Doctor grimly.

Gilbert M was strolling casually round the Kandy Man who was still stuck to the floor studying the problem. He came close enough to infuriate the Kandy Man with his freedom, but just far enough away to avoid the Kandy Man's hands as they lashed out in anger.

'What's happening to me?' shouted the Kandy Man.

'Help me!'

Gilbert M remained calm. 'It's quite simple,' he said, relishing the chance to explain the Kandy Man's predicament to him. 'Created out of glucose-based substances as you are, your joints need constant movement to avoid any form of coagulation.'

The Kandy Man hated Gilbert M when he adopted this sort of superior att.i.tude. 'What do you mean?' he yelled.

'You're turning into a slab of toffee,' shrugged Gilbert M. He scratched his chin. 'I saw this problem at the planning stage. And then I realized what the solution was,'

he added tantalizingly.

The Kandy Man roared. 'And what was that?'

Gilbert M slowly shook his head. 'I've forgotten.'

'You've forgotten!'

'But I made a note.'

The Kandy Man breathed a huge sigh of relief. 'Luckily for you,' he snarled.

'But I lost it,' smiled Gilbert M.

The Doctor slapped his pockets, to check that he still had the fire extinguisher and the soda siphon, and followed the mellow harmonica music until he found Earl busking on a street corner. There was no one around.

'What did you find out?' asked the Doctor.

Earl took the harmonica from his lips. 'There's a demonstration by workers from the sugar factories.

They're striking about the murders committed by the Happiness Patrol.'

The Doctor didn't seem surprised. 'I'll come and talk to them,' he said.

'It's too dangerous,' said Earl. 'At the moment they're pinned down by a couple of snipers.'

The Doctor shrugged. 'I might as well,' he said. 'I've got to go that way to get to the Kandy Kitchen.' There was still an execution to stop.

'The Kandy Kitchen!' Earl was shocked. He never wanted to go anywhere near the Kandy Kitchen again.

The Doctor rea.s.sured him. 'Don't worry,' he said. 'I'll deal with the snipers first.' He patted Earl on the shoulder and disappeared into the night. Earl put the harmonica back to his lips and started playing again.

Three streets away, the two snipers, David S and Alex S, were being frustrated by the drones' refusal to offer themselves for target practice. After the first few rounds they had all disappeared into the shadows. Alex S had already given up, and was sitting with his feet resting on the balcony rail. David S, ever hopeful, was scanning the street through the sights on his gun. He disliked Alex's att.i.tude and pushed his feet off the rail. 'Pick up your gun,'

he said.

'Why?' asked Alex, replacing his feet. 'There's no one there.'

David couldn't argue with this. 'You're right. They've all gone to ground.'

'I don't mind. Good luck to them.'

David S hated that sort of talk. 'Shut it!' he said sharply.

He looked out over the street and saw a figure coming towards them through the darkness. 'Wait a minute,' he said softly. 'There's one.' He watched as the Doctor ran across the street below towards the iron spiral staircase leading up to the balcony. David S had him in his sights.

'It's all right. I'll have him. Just let him get a little closer.'

His finger squeezed the trigger.

The gun was suddenly knocked out of his hands. It was Alex S, who had leapt up and was now confronting David.

'Wait!' said Alex. 'He's not a drone.'

David S was startled. He had never seen Alex like this before. But he was ready to fight. He disguised his punch, and Alex took it cleanly on the jaw and fell to the floor of the balcony. David picked up his rifle and pressed the muzzle gently against Alex's throat. 'He's fair game,' said David softly. He moved the muzzle up to Alex's forehead.'And you're headed that way.'

They were distracted by the noisy rattle of the fire escape as the Doctor ran up to them. When he reached the top the first thing he saw was David's gun, levelled at him.

'All right,' sneered David. 'Come and say hallo.'

The Doctor doffed his hat. 'Hallo,' he said as he moved towards David.

Alex, still on the floor, tried to warn the Doctor. 'Get back! He'll use the gun.'

'Yes, I imagine he will,' said the Doctor. He turned to face David S. 'You like guns, don't you?' The Doctor advanced on him.

David was enjoying himself. He was interested in the situation from a professional point of view. 'This is a specialized weapon,' he told the Doctor. 'Designed for roof duty designed for long range. I've never used one close-up before.'

'Let him go,' said Alex, desperately.

'No.'

'No, don't,' smiled the Doctor. 'In fact, let's get a little closer.' And still the Doctor moved towards David.

The first flickers of alarm showed in David's eyes. 'Stay where you are,' he ordered the Doctor.

'Why?' asked the Doctor, as he inched forwards.

'Scared? Why should you be scared? You're the one with the gun.'

'That's right,' said David S breathlessly, rea.s.suring himself.

'And you like guns,' smiled the Doctor.

'He'll kill you,' shouted Alex.

'Of course,' said the Doctor, 'that's what guns are for.

Press the trigger and end a life. Simple, isn't it?'

'Yes,' said David S.

'Life killing life.'

But David S wasn't sure any more. 'Yes,' he repeated mechanically.

Alex was beginning to notice the extraordinary effect the Doctor was having on David. 'Who are you?'

'Shut up,' ordered the Doctor. He turned back to David.

'So why don't you do it?' he asked. 'Go ahead. Look me in the eye. Pull the trigger. End my life.'

David S was shaking all over. He raised his gun, pointed it at the Doctor's head, and held it there, as steady as he could, for several long moments. Then he lowered it. 'No,'

he said softly.

The Doctor looked disappointed. 'Why not?'

'I can't.'

'But why not?'

'I don't know.'

'You don't, do you,' said the Doctor. He turned to Alex.

'Throw away your gun,' he said. Alex obediently took the gun from his shoulder and threw it over the balcony rail into the street below.

The Doctor held out his hands and David placed his gun in them. Still looking into David's eyes, the Doctor threw the gun after Alex's. Then he hurried away down the metal stairs, leaving the snipers to contemplate their encounter with him. The Doctor consulted his watch. This had taken longer than he thought it would, and there was an execution to stop.

The final arrangements were being made in the execution yard for the death of Susan Q. From her position under the enormous pipe in the centre of the yard, she looked round at what she expected to be her last view of Terra Alpha.