Distorted. Part 18

He chuckled. "Yes baby. If it were up to me we'd go now, but duty calls. Four o'clock it is."

I smiled and nodded then went back to my desk to continue working. Before I knew it, four o'clock hit and Paul poked his head out of his office. "Let me grab my stuff and we'll go. Do you want to ride with me, or would you rather follow me there?"

Definitely follow him. I wanted my own transportation in case something happened and I needed to get out of there. "I'll follow you," I told him.

He smiled. "Okay, sweetheart. Go get your things and I'll be out in a sec."

I turned and walked out of the office, feeling a little dizzy. Why was I having second thoughts? I never had second thoughts with Ethan. What was it about Paul that always made me a little nervous, a little on guard? Memories of being in that closet, hearing the moans and groans of s.e.x, came flooding back. The hurt gutted me and I was about to turn around and tell Paul to forget it when I realized I had to do this. I had to go with him to figure myself out.

I shut down my computer and put things away. I glanced at my watch again and started tapping my foot. I wanted to get out of here, to get it over with and before I saw Ethan.

Paul finally came out and shut his office door. He walked to me and kissed my forehead. "Don't be nervous, baby," he said, wrapping his arm around my waist and walking me out. The fact that he could tell I was anxious embarra.s.sed me.

We got to the parking garage unseen and he walked me to my car. "I'm parked right over there. Just follow me, okay?"

I nodded again and he wrapped his arms around me. "You have no idea how happy I am to have this time with you. We need it."

I relaxed in his arms a little and knew he was right, but I was beginning to realize I might never be able to get over what happened. I knew I had to let go of some of my reservations if I was really going to see if things could work between us. I had to be fair to him, too.

I followed him out of the garage and through the winding streets. I'd been to his previous home countless times, dropping things off and for company parties, but he'd just built a new one and had recently moved in. I had to admit that I was excited to finally see the finished product. I'd seen the plans and had heard so much about it.

We finally arrived at his gated community. He must have called ahead and let them know I was with him as the guard simply waved me in. I waved back and smiled. I followed Paul down some more streets with huge trees in front and luscious green lawns. I had to be careful to watch the road as I was in awe of my surroundings. We finally pulled into a long driveway and as I came over the hill and followed him down to the garage, my jaw dropped. I parked next to him and turned off my car. Stepping out, I looked around and could not get over it all.

Paul got out of his car and came over to me. Seeing my reaction, he smiled. "I a.s.sume you like it so far?" he asked.

I turned to him and nodded. "Uh, yes. I think that would be a safe a.s.sumption," I replied.

He laughed and took my hand. Walking to the giant oak front door, he pushed in the code and it unlocked. We walked into a giant entryway with the living area to the left, kitchen dead ahead, and a huge black baby grand situated to the right. I was stunned and couldn't take it all in fast enough.

Paul put my hand to his lips, kissing it lightly, and said, "Welcome to my home, Aly. I'm so glad you're finally here."

I nodded absently as I continued looking at my surroundings. He chuckled, then turned around and took me to a room off of the living area. I did my best to not trip as I kept looking all around me.

"This is the den. I love being in here, it's very relaxing," he told me. I looked around and all I wanted to do was to sit in one of the two giant cozy chairs. There were giant windows surrounded by large and comfortable looking window seats. It had a bathroom attached with a huge shower with a giant showerhead. There was a murphy bed in the corner and a big screen TV on the wall.

"This is great, Paul. I can see why you love being in here. It's very inviting," I told him.

He smiled at me then grabbed my hand again, leading me back out of the room. We stood at the top of the two stairs that led to the living area and kitchen. The living area was arranged with two big chairs with ottomans, a giant fireplace, and two large sofas. The sofas were made out of lambs' wool and felt soft to the touch.

"I like to sit in one of these chairs by the fire in the winter and read," he told me as he led me around the room. He had a variety of magazines on the coffee table and a ma.s.sive amount of books on the shelves built in each side of the fireplace. He was probably never at a loss for something to read. I perused some of the t.i.tles and was impressed with his collection.

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I still felt a jolt at his touch, but wasn't sure how to react. He lifted a hand to push my hair away from my face and kissed my cheek. We stood there for what seemed like hours, just like that, like we were the only two people in the world. I rested my head on his shoulder and gazed out the big picture window at the beautiful scenery.

"What are you thinking?" he asked quietly, his hands still wrapped around my waist.

"How beautiful everything is up here. Your house is unbelievable."

He smiled against my cheek. "It wasn't nearly as beautiful until now."

Pleasure coursed through me hearing him say that. I slowly felt my anxiety lessen. Even though I still had my reservations, I never tired of hearing him compliment me.

He turned me around and smiled at me. "Are you ready to see the rest of the house?" he asked.

"Yes please," I responded with a smile.

He took me to the kitchen, which looked to be every chef's dream. A large seating area right by the windows made a beautiful setting. It had a giant island with a sink and plenty of room to cook. Behind it was another counter with winegla.s.ses stacked above and a refrigerator filled with wine and champagne. When I turned around, he led me toward the kitchen sink where to the side was a small room with two ovens, more shelves, and an extra sink. I couldn't help but wonder why he had all of this when he didn't cook much, at least not to my knowledge.

"I have someone who cooks and cleans for me, as I don't do very well in those departments," he told me with a laugh. "Mrs. Lancaster usually makes weekly meals for me and freezes them. I'm very happy to be sharing one with you tonight, Aly," he said.

"Me too. I'm glad you have someone to help you with this. Lord knows what you'd become if you didn't," I teased.

His eyes grew big and he got a devilish grin on his face. "Oh, really Chase?" he asked, shaking his head.

"Uh huh. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know how to heat up a can of soup, Pierce."

He thrust his hand over his heart. "Ouch. Why these harsh words?" he asked, pretending to be hurt.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "You know I'm right," I said.

"Just for that, I'm not going to show you the rest of the house," he said, a twinkle in his eye.

"Yes you will. You're dying for me to see it," I retorted.

He raised a brow at that. "Is that right?"

I turned and headed toward the comfy sofa I'd been eyeing all night. I sat down and crossed my legs, picking up a magazine and pretending to be disinterested in anything he had to say.

He let out a deep laugh and sat down next to me. He took the magazine from my hands and set it back on the coffee table. I started to protest when he covered my lips with his index finger. He leaned over, touching his forehead to mine. "You can play the game, but you won't win." He traced a finger down my profile and rested his hand on my shoulder. "Although, I must admit that the chase you're giving me is quite fun."

I sat there staring at him, any retort lost in my head. His emerald eyes were burning as he lowered them to look at my lips. He licked his own lips while staring at mine, and I felt the heat rushing to my core.

He started tracing my lips with his thumb, and I closed my eyes. His other hand dove into my hair, releasing the pin that was fastened in it. I gave a low moan when he started ma.s.saging my scalp and I heard his breath hitch up a notch.

He turned me to face away from him and started ma.s.saging my shoulders. I cried out at how good it felt and leaned my head forward to give him better access, not caring anymore that he was touching me. He pressed himself against my back and dug even harder into my sensitive muscles, relieving the pressure that had been settled in there for weeks.

"You are so tight, Aly," he whispered against my ear. "I know some of this was caused by me and that kills me. I never want to cause you that pain and stress again."

I moaned again as he hit a sensitive spot and suddenly felt his lips graze my shoulder. Tingles burst inside of me and I let him continue moving across my neck to the other shoulder. His hands moved lower down my back, ma.s.saging my spine. He dug his fingers in all the right places and I thought I would die at how good it felt.

"Lay down, baby," he uttered, getting off the couch to give me the room. I looked at him puzzled and he smiled at me. "So I can give you a better ma.s.sage."

I hesitated, but then kicked off my heels and stretched out on my stomach. Paul got on his knees and continued ma.s.saging my lower back. I had my head resting on its side and sighed in pure contentment. As he leaned over to go back toward my shoulders, he accidentally pressed into me and I felt his arousal. I jerked a little in reaction and heard him chuckle as he readjusted his position.

"Sorry," he said softly.

Feeling stupid, I shook my head. "Nothing to be sorry for," I said under my breath.

He reached my scalp again and continued his soothing ministrations. I hadn't been this relaxed in weeks and honestly felt that not even an earthquake could make me move at that moment. He leaned down and kissed my neck, then stood up, and I groaned in disappointment.

He threw his head back in laughter. "I'd love nothing more than to touch you all night, but I'm afraid my stomach has other plans. I worked up quite an appet.i.te touching you all over, sweetheart. Let's go eat." He extended his hand toward me and I sat up and took it.

He led me over to the large kitchen table and sat me down with a kiss on the top of my head. He went to the fridge and took out a few things. He headed to a cupboard and got some plates. Putting what looked like chicken and rice on the plates, he heated each one up in the microwave.

"I'm sorry it's not fancier, I didn't realize this morning that I'd be having company tonight," he said with a wink.

I gave him a smile and waved my hand in dismissal. "Please don't apologize. It looks and smells delicious."

"Well, good. What can I offer you to drink? I have some red wine, beer, water?"

"Wine would be nice, thanks," I answered.

He grabbed a gla.s.s and opened the wine, filling it. He walked over to hand it to me and I couldn't help but stare at the way his hips moved as he walked. This beautiful man wanted me and that still astounded me.

Our fingers brushed each other as he handed me the gla.s.s and I saw the affect it had in his eyes. I smiled as I took a sip, thrilled that I did that to him. He walked back to the counter and finished filling our plates with our dinner.

I ate mine faster than I intended. I was starving. "Mrs. Lancaster knows how to cook," I said, leaning back in my chair after taking my last bite of food. The wine added the relaxing feeling I'd needed all day and as I looked around I couldn't remember feeling more satisfied than I felt at that moment. As I looked at him across the table, I shook my head.

He laughed. "What? And yes, Mrs. Lancaster is a brilliant chef."

I didn't want to tell him what I'd been thinking so I stayed quiet, sipping the last of my wine. He eyed me across his own gla.s.s and a sly grin appeared on his face as he set his gla.s.s down.

He looked at me then motioned me over with his finger. "Come here," he told me.

I was surprised. "What?" I asked.

He scooted his chair back a bit. "You heard me, Chase. Come here."

"What for?"

He let out a deep sigh. "Aly, just do it. Come here."

I relented and stood up, walking over to him. I stayed standing when I reached him, not sure what he wanted. He looked up at me then wrapped his arms around me and brought me down on his lap.

I yelped when I landed in surprise, then started to laugh. "What was that?" I asked loudly.

He kept his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. "I just couldn't stand being away from you another second," he said seductively into my ear.

When he started kissing my neck, my head lolled to the side, and I tensed when I felt his tongue start tracing my ear lobe. He grabbed the lobe between his teeth and growled. I laughed at that and pulled away, looking at him.

"Baby, I can't stay away anymore. I want you so much, but if you tell me to stop, I will. I will never do anything you don't want to or you're not ready for."

"I guess you can keep doing that," I whispered and felt him happily oblige.

"Anything you ask," he responded as he traveled toward the back of my neck, pushing my hair aside. His hands moved to my abdomen and rubbed up and down. I knew he was trying to keep himself from pushing too far and I was content with it.

He looked up at me then, with questioning eyes. I saw his gaze fall to my lips and I knew what he wanted. His kiss was aggressive, yet tender. His tongue didn't wait for an invitation. It dove into my mouth and started twisting with mine. I found myself falling into bliss and had just wrapped my arms around him when he suddenly stood, lifting me into his arms, and walked to the sofa. He sat me down gently, and then joined me, never breaking the kiss. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him toward me, lowering myself to lay down with him on top of me.

He lifted his mouth from mine, looking intently into my eyes. "You are so beautiful. I can't believe you're here, with me," he said, brushing some hair out of my eyes.

I looked back at him, smiling. "Believe it," I said, pulling him back to me.

When I felt the vibrating in my pocket, it took me a minute to realize what it was. When Paul felt it, he lifted his head and sighed. The moment was broken.

"I guess you'd better see who it is," he said, running a hand through his hair as he sat up. I groaned as I sat up and pulled my phone out of my pocket. My heart lurched when I saw who was calling.

"It's Ethan," I whispered, pushing the b.u.t.ton to send the call to voice mail.

I heard him sigh. "I think we need to talk, baby."

Feeling dejected that our moment was lost, I leaned back on the sofa. "We probably do," I agreed.

He reached over and pulled me to him, resting my head on his shoulder. "I think you know where I stand, Aly," he said softly, rubbing my back. "I'm extremely attracted to you, and want to be with you. You've completely dazzled me for so long now and I'm tired of fighting it. Tired of wanting you, but not having you."

I stayed as I was, listening. It never got old hearing from him that he wanted me. I spent so long thinking it was the exact opposite.

He tipped my chin up to look at him. "What are you feeling?" he asked, quietly.

I took a calming breath. "I don't think I've hidden my feelings for you, not lately," I started. "I've loved you for so long now and I know how it feels to want what you can't have. It would kill me every time I'd see you and Casey together. Seeing you with your arm wrapped around her waist or shoulders, seeing you lean in and whisper in her ear, watching her giggle, seeing you kiss her," I said, whispering the last part.

I looked up at him and was shocked to see the pain in his eyes. He rubbed his hand through my hair, resting it on my cheek. "I am so sorry. I didn't know. It kills me knowing you felt that way about me and had to watch all that time."

The tears started filling my eyes and I swiped at them. I tried lowering my head, but he wouldn't let me. He leaned over and kissed a tear that started falling on my cheek, licking it away with his tongue. "Don't cry, baby. I'm here now. Casey's in the past, you are my future. At least I hope so." He continued kissing my cheeks, swiping my tears away with his fingers and tongue.

"Paul, if you keep doing that, we won't ever get through this," I lightly laughed, pushing him away.

He sighed. "I know." He rested his head back on the couch and motioned for me to continue.

"Don't be sorry. You didn't know. Yeah it wasn't easy, but I've never blamed you. I think Casey knew I had feelings for you, though."

His head jerked to me hearing that. "Really? You know, she'd say things here and there, but I'd always brush her off, never giving credence to it."

I turned my head away. "Yeah, she never said anything directly to me, but I could tell. She wasn't that nice to me."

He shifted on the couch. "Sweetheart, Casey just isn't that nice. Don't take it personally. You are ten times the woman she'll ever be. If anything, she knows that and was insecure around you."

I looked back at him. "Maybe. I'm just glad you broke up with her." I stopped when I saw his smile at that. "I meant for you, regardless of what happens with us. I never thought she was good enough for you, Paul."

He reached for me. "You're good for me," he whispered, running his fingers down my cheek. "Too good, actually."

"I probably am," I said.

He smiled, even though his face was serious. "You are. I am still haunted by what I did after we slept together in my office. I will never forgive myself."

Seeing the pain in his eyes gave me some satisfaction. "It's over now, you can't change it. I won't deny that it shattered me. I do question if I'll ever get over it, but I know I need to. You trying has helped. But," I paused, about to mention Ethan, but chickening out.

He looked at me. "But?"

His eyes held so much in them. I realized the positions had switched and that I was now the one in control. I was no longer on the sidelines, pining for a man I couldn't have. I was now front and center and could be his, if I chose.