Distorted. Part 17

"Where's Ethan?" Missy asked.

"Oh, he already went to lunch with some guys from work," I said, disappointment in my voice.

Paul looked annoyed at that, but I didn't care. "That's too bad," he said, when I clearly knew he didn't care that Ethan wasn't coming. "Shall we, ladies?" he asked, holding out each of his arms for us to take. Missy latched right on, but I ignored the gesture and started walking out the door.

We drove in Paul's car to one of his favorite cafes a few blocks away. At least Missy was smart enough to let me have the front seat. Paul and Missy chatted most of the way, with me only adding one-word answers here and there. I was completely annoyed by the time we reached the restaurant.

Paul let the two of us out while he went to park. We went inside and were immediately led to a table. Missy and I sat down and perused the menu, waiting for Paul to arrive. When he did, he sat in the chair next to Missy, directly across from me. I barely looked at him for fear my eyes might tear him in half if I did.

We ordered our lunches and Paul immediately started asking Missy all about herself. I wondered why the h.e.l.l I was even there since they were acting like I wasn't. By the time our meals came, I was about ready to call a cab and go back to the office.

"You have a beautiful laugh, Missy," Paul complimented her, then looked over to me. I glared at him then took a bite of my turkey sandwich.

"Thank you," she replied. "So, you two have been working together for a few years, right?" she asked, finally remembering I was at the table.

"Yes," we both answered at the same time. Paul chuckled, I stayed quiet, still annoyed. He looked at me with a puzzled expression to which I just shrugged. "Aly started working for me three years ago," he continued. "Hiring her was the best thing I ever did."

Yeah, yeah. I've heard that before. He had been acting weird with me for no reason and now he started the complimenting. Wasn't going to fall for it.

"Oh that was so sweet," Missy exclaimed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She daintily bit into her caesar salad, dabbing at the corner of her mouth with her napkin.

"It's the truth," Paul stated, looking at me, his green eyes darkening.

"Thank you, Paul," I said.

"So, Paul. Excuse me if I'm being rude, but I have to ask. Do you have a girlfriend?" Missy asked.

I choked on the sip of water I was taking and they both looked at me concerned.

"Are you okay, Aly?" Missy asked, leaning over to tap on my back.

Paul started to stand to come a.s.sist, but I held a hand up, stopping him. "I'm fine," I choked out. "Just swallowed the wrong way."

He sat back down after seeing that I really was okay. Missy then looked back to him. "Um, no, I don't," Paul answered her. "I broke up with my long-term girlfriend a few days ago."

My eyes widened in shock. He never told me he'd actually broken up with Casey. "You did?" I asked, a little too loudly.

He turned to look at me and smiled softly. "Yes."

Missy looked between the two of us. "Did you know her well, Aly?"

Still looking at Paul, I answered her. "Well enough." I knew Paul got my meaning by the look on his face. Mission accomplished.

Missy didn't pursue anymore and turned to Paul. "Well, I'm sorry about that, but that's good news for all of us women," she said, sitting up higher in her chair.

Paul laughed. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"

Missy leaned over toward him, resting her chin in her hands. "Have you seen yourself?" she asked.

Paul laughed harder at that. "Well, yes."

"There you go," Missy stated. "You are definitely a catch and if I play my cards right, maybe I'll win the prize." She sat back against her chair, taking a sip of her Diet c.o.ke, still staring at him.

"Well Ms. Laughlin, you definitely don't hold back your opinions, do you?" Paul asked.

She shook her head. "Nope, never have," she said, giving him one of her dazzling smiles. "Just ask Aly here."

They both turned to me then. "I believe you," Paul said.

They continued chatting throughout lunch and when the server brought the check, I breathed a sigh of relief. Paul grabbed the check before either of us could see what we owed, insisting on paying for all of us. Missy didn't object, but I did.

"No, I want to pay for mine please," I told him.

He shook his head. "Please don't do this again, Aly. I want to pay."

I argued back. "I will do this because I would really feel better if I paid for myself."

The server came then and Paul gave him his credit card before anymore could be said. I was seething inside, but kept my cool, not wanting to make a scene in front of Missy. Paul gave me a smirk and I shot him a dirty look.

The server came back and Paul signed the slip. We stood up to walk out when he was done and I stayed quiet. They didn't seem to notice as they kept chatting while we walked to the car. This time, I insisted on sitting in the back. Missy didn't oppose and marched to sit in the front seat. Paul looked over at me, but stayed quiet.

The ride back was more of the same, them chatting and me staying quiet. When we got back to the parking garage and parked, I jumped out of the car, telling them I had to use the restroom. I hurried inside and immediately hit the first bathroom on the way to the office. I stayed much longer than I needed to, trying to gain some semblance of calm.

It annoyed me that they were flirting so much with each other and it annoyed me even more how much it bothered me. Being in love, or at least severely in like, with two men was more trouble than it was worth. Paul was playing games as well and that was a huge turn off for me.

I wandered back to the office and, of course, saw them still chatting, Paul perched on my desk and Missy in one of the chairs. They both turned at the same time when I walked in. Paul got off my desk and came toward me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, touching my arm.

I shrugged his arm away and continued walking to my desk. "I'm fine, thank you," I said in a clipped tone. He gave me another look, but didn't say anymore. He turned back to Missy.

"Well, it was lovely meeting you and having lunch. I need to get back to work now, but I hope to see you again soon." He took her hand and kissed it again. She flushed a bit and sighed when he returned her hand to her side. He turned around and looked at me. "When Missy leaves, come to my office."

I nodded and he went inside, closing the door. I heard Missy let out a huge sigh and looked at her. Her eyes were staring at his office door.

"Why have you never told me how gorgeous he is, Aly?" she asked, looking at me now.

"It never came up," I said.

"Oh, whatever. We used to talk about guys all the time. What's going on?"

I leaned back in my chair. "Nothing, why?"

"Something's going on. Do you have a thing for him?" she asked, her eyes widening in realization.

"Missy, I need to get back to work," I said, avoiding her question. "Write down where you're staying and I'll call you later."

She looked at me with surprise, and I realized I was a little short with her. "Um, okay. I'm just here for a few days so I'd love to see you one more time if possible, Ethan too," she said, quietly.

I nodded. "I'm sorry, I just have a lot going on. We'll definitely grab dinner and I'll make sure Ethan can come. What day do you leave exactly?"

"Sat.u.r.day afternoon," she replied.

"Okay, what night would be easiest?"

She checked her phone for her schedule. "Is Friday okay?"

"Yes, Friday is great for me. I'll ask Ethan and let you know, okay?" I stood up, really needing a break from her suddenly, which then made me feel guilty. I hadn't seen her in months and was already annoyed. I told myself to ease up on her, that she had no idea of what was going on with Paul and I.

She stood too. "Okay, thanks. And hey, see if your boss wants to come too, would you?" she asked and I was again reminded why I was so annoyed.

"I'll see what I can do," I said, plastering a smile on my face.

She leaned over and gave me a hug. "Okay, we'll plan on Friday. Can't wait."

I told her the same and she was gone. I turned back heading toward my desk when I remembered Paul had told me to go to his office when she left. I blew my hair out of my face and went to his door, knocking on it.

"Come in," he called.

I opened it and stood there. "You said to come in here when she left," I said, staying put.

He looked up at me from what he was reading and his eyes softened. "Yeah, come have a seat," he said, motioning toward the chair.

I went and sat down, crossing my legs and started to twirl my hair around my finger. When I saw his eyes zone in on that, I immediately stopped, remembering. He gave me a small smile.

"Your friend is nice," he said.

I nodded. "She is," was all I said.

He looked closer at me. "Is everything all right, Aly?"

I felt the b.u.t.terflies take flight. "Yes, everything is fine. Why do you ask?"

He leaned over on his desk, resting on his elbows. "Because I can tell it's not. Don't lie to me, what's wrong?"

Okay, I was even more annoyed. "Nothing is wrong, Paul. Did you want me in here to ask me that or to work?"

His eyes grew annoyed as well. "Both, actually. But I know you and I can tell when you're upset."

I sighed. "I don't know what we are anymore," I whispered.

That made him stand up. He walked around his desk and went to the door, shutting it. He then walked over to me, sitting in the chair opposite me. He grabbed my hands and held them in his own.

"We are co-workers and friends, that part is definite. I'd like us to be more, I'd like us to be in a relationship, but that is up to you."

I tried to pull my hands back but he wouldn't let me, he held on even tighter. "I don't think you know what you want, Paul," I stated. "I mean, why didn't you tell me you actually broke up with Casey?"

He lowered his eyes at that. "I wanted to, but it never came up. Yesterday was awkward at work and we needed some s.p.a.ce from each other. This morning went by so fast, then your friend showed up. I'm sorry, though. I should have." He started rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb and I shuddered.

"Paul, you have been distant with me since before lunch yesterday, and you were flirting intensely with Missy. Now you're all concerned about me and affectionate. Let me tell you right now, I don't like games and I won't play them."

He continued looking at me, amus.e.m.e.nt on his face. "Is that right?" he asked, still rubbing my hand.

I glared at him. "What is so funny?"

He laughed. "Oh, sweetheart, you are. I love that you're jealous."

I glared even more. I again tried ripping my hands from his, but he antic.i.p.ated it and held on. "I am not jealous. That's ridiculous."

He scooted closer. "Yes you are. It's cute."

I bristled in my seat, clearly annoyed. "You wish," I muttered.

He threw his head back, laughing. "I don't have to wish. It's completely true, and I love it." He started to reach for my cheek, but I dodged his touch, jerking my head aside. He put his hand down, trying to conceal his mirth.

"All I'm saying is that you've been playing games and I don't like it," I said.

He suddenly pulled on my hands, catapulting me into his chest. I made an "mmph" sound as I landed and he lifted me so I was sitting on his lap. His hands went to my face and held me there so that I had to look at him.

"Sweetheart, I haven't meant to play games. I've tried to back off, to give you your s.p.a.ce. To do that, I have to be strong, to stay as far away from you as possible. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

The look in his eyes told me he was sincere. I licked my lips in nervousness and his eyes filled with l.u.s.t. Before I knew it, his mouth crushed to mine and he pulled me closer, his tongue thrusting in my mouth.

I didn't resist. I realized I'd wanted this from him since he'd started acting aloof. I held onto his shoulders and pushed my tongue into his mouth, stroking in unison. Heat rushed to my core and the memories of being on his desk came rushing back. I moaned at that and he twisted me to the side so that he was leaning over me and started sucking on my lower lip. My hands went to the back of his neck, threading through his chocolate waves and he suddenly broke the kiss, traveling down my neck to the top of my shirt. He slid to the floor so he was on his knees, and cupped his hands under my a.s.s, lifting me closer to him. I continued running my fingers through his hair as he moved his hands up my body, settling on my waist.

"Aly, I only have eyes for you," he told me between kisses. "It's only you. I want you so badly, I want us to be together. I'm not sure I can sit back and be patient. It kills me to be so near you, yet so far," he said as he raised his head to look at me.

My heart slammed to my chest. I wanted to be with him, to be able to get to know him on another level, and I was powerless to let him go. The harsh fact that I was truly torn between two men, both of whom I loved, rocked me to my core. As I sat there staring into Paul's beautiful eyes, mine started welling with tears. I pushed him away from me and ran to the door, but before I could make it, he was next to me, pulling me into his arms. I struggled against him, but he wouldn't let me go. Finally I succ.u.mbed and laid my forehead on his chest, tears streaming down my face.

"Baby, it kills me to see you cry. Please don't," he whispered softly, running his hand down my hair. That only made me cry harder, and he held me tighter. How could two men make me feel so good, in such vastly different ways?

We stayed like that for a few minutes, until I calmed down. He continued to hold me, and plant small kisses on the top of my head.

"Have dinner with me," he suddenly said. "Please have dinner with me. Let's spend some time together outside of the office, are you okay with that?"

I was still so conflicted. He had hurt me more than anyone ever had and it tortured me that I still had such strong feelings for him. Before I could stop myself, I looked into his eyes and said, "All right."

His eyes lit up. "Really?"

I nodded before I could talk myself out of it. I knew I needed this time with him, outside of the office, for me to see what I truly wanted. It wasn't fair to him or Ethan, let alone me. I needed to figure out what path to take and then stay on it.

He hugged me tighter to him. "Thank you," he whispered. "This is just what we need. Would it be asking too much to take you to my house for dinner? I'd love to have the privacy and have you come hang out with me, get to know me better where I live."

I thought about that. His eyes were pleading with me as he ran his hand through my hair. I obviously couldn't turn him down and I nodded again. "Okay," I said, hoping I wouldn't regret it.

"Great," he said, releasing me from his arms. "Let's go around four o'clock."

"That early?" I asked.