Disastrous: Cautious Part 15

Marcus simply nodded. "I understand."

He didn't push the issue any further as we continued with our breakfast. After we were finished, he dropped me off at school and drove off to work. With a deep sigh, I prepared for the day ahead.

In an empty cla.s.sroom, I stood before my professor's desk with a shocked expression. His brow lifted, waiting for my response. My stomach knotted as nausea shot through me. "Well, Ms. Sullivan, do you have an explanation?"

"No. I didn't realize I wasn't doing well. I-I . . ." Oh my G.o.d, what was I going to do? I couldn't fail this cla.s.s. My low score on my last exam was threatening my GPA. I swallowed back the lumps that formed in my throat. "What can I do to ensure that I don't fail the cla.s.s?"

With a smug look, he scribbled something down on a note pad and tore the paper from the binder before handing it to me. I quickly looked at what he gave me. "That's a tutor you can contact. She's really good and could possibly have you back on track before the semester is over. You need to pa.s.s the next two exams and the final in order to move forward. I must say, Ms. Sullivan, I'm very disappointed in your lack of dedication. You have to work harder if you want to maintain your GPA."

"You're right; there's no excuse for my lack of commitment. I promise I'll do better. Thank you for this, Professor Barnes."

"I'm sure you will." He went to gather his belongings. Nodding, I turned and walked out of his office. Disappointment burned through me. I'd failed myself. The one part of my life that I should've had under control was falling apart. The hard work I'd put into my studies was what defined me.

Angry with myself, I felt the tears build as I left the building and began my brisk walk home. I wanted to call Marcus and wallow in my self-pity, but he had bigger problems. The last thing I wanted was for him to stress over mine as well. With that, I called the only person I could think of that was used to my whining: Jeremy.

"Oh wow, Mia. Don't cry. I know you're taking this hard, but I know you. You'll get back on track."

Breathing out a heavy sigh as I continued my walk home, I swiped a tear away. "I just can't believe I allowed it to get this far, Jeremy. I don't know what's gotten into me."

"Life. You finally got one. Before, you were so immersed in your studies that you didn't allow anyone or anything else to enter your life. Now, you have Marcus and your mom is back in your life. You've been occupied with them. It's understandable. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"But, this is my future, Jeremy. Without this, I have nothing."

"I know how much it means to you, Mia. From here on out you just need to put everything around you on hold and focus on your studies as you used to do." He was right. There were only a few weeks left in this semester, and I needed to focus all of my attention on studying for my exams. "Mia, you can do this. I know you can."

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

After repeating it over and over, I felt a bit of relief, "Thank you, Jeremy. Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Please don't tell Megan. I don't want her to slip and tell Marcus. He has a lot going on right now with work and personal issues; I just don't want him to worry about me as well."

"Sure thing."

CHAPTER NINETEEN.

MARCUS.

"You were great, Mr. DeLuca." Troy Jefferson exclaimed with a huge grin as he reached out to shake my hand.

"Thank you. You were great as well. You followed the directions and answered all of the questions just as we rehea.r.s.ed."

"So what happens next?"

"After Peirce handles the defendant's deposition scheduled next week, we'll order the transcripts for both depositions. The opposing counsel and our firm will, of course, go through them. We usually sit back and wait for an offer. If we feel the offer is low, we'll deny it and prepare for trial."

"If we do go to trial, will you be the trial attorney?"

"No, I'm sorry. Peirce is the attorney handling your malpractice claim. He'll be the one at the trial. Don't worry, Mr. Jefferson. You're in good hands."

"I surely don't doubt it. Thank you again." He shook my hand one last time, stood from the chair, and left the conference room.

The deposition took longer than expected, and it was close to one. My mother was due to be at the office soon, which left little time for much else. I quickly gathered the doc.u.ments, shoved them in the file, and headed toward my office.

When I walked into the office, my mother was already there, early as always, sitting by the bookcase. She was flipping through a magazine. Her head popped up. "Hi honey."

"Hey, I'm just going to use the bathroom, and then we can go. Do you know where you want to have lunch?"

"I thought of the tiny bistro just down the street?"

"Yes, that's fine. Give me a few minutes, and I'll be ready."

"Take your time."

We were seated by a private table for two in the far back of the bistro. My mother ordered a gla.s.s of wine, and I settled on water. She sipped on her gla.s.s as we sat awkwardly in silence. There was a lot I wanted to know, but I wasn't going to push her, so I waited. h.e.l.l, I waited until the silence was unbearable. "Mom, you wanted to talk." I reminded her.

She snapped out of her daze, "Yes, honey. I'm sorry. This is just so difficult. I don't know where to begin."

"Try with what began the affair." I suggested in a sarcastic tone.

She wasn't thrilled with my response, but didn't argue against it. Instead, she straightened in her chair and went on after a curt nod. "Marcus, before I explain, you have to understand that I loved your father very much."

"That's very hard to believe."

Her lips quivered at my harsh remark, and then she pressed them together. "Well, I did. It may not seem like it to you now, but I did. There was nothing in the world I wouldn't do for him. He was my first love, my first everything. I knew no one else but him. I was young, nave, and allowed him to bring me into a way of life that I would be against today. It wasn't easy at first. I accepted it, though, because I loved him, and I was prepared for all of it. At least, I thought I was."

She wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek and then continued, "It wasn't until Jimmie was born that I knew enough was enough. I begged him to leave that lifestyle behind because I didn't want my little boy to be influenced by it. Your father promised me numerous times that he would walk away from it all someday, that he was just waiting for the right time." She slightly shook her head. I listened intently as she continued her confession. "But the right time never came. After I had you, it got even worse. He would use money as a way to justify it all. He said that he wanted a better life for his boys, for me. We constantly argued. I thought we had more than enough money, but to him, it was never enough. I think in the end, because it was the only lifestyle he knew, he didn't want out, because if he really did, he would have left."

"It's not that easy," I blurted, wanting to take it back at that moment. Her head tilted aside, as her eyes grew with curiosity.

"No, no it's not, but there's always a way out, Marcus." She went silent for a moment and then went on. "A couple of months before your father's suicide, he had Lou around you boys and me more often." The sound of his name raked at my skin and boiled my f.u.c.king blood. My nostrils flared, and I tried to control the building anger as she continued. "There was a bad exchange. I didn't know much about it, but there was a threat against your father and his family. So Lou was around to protect us, I guess. I wasn't sure how it all began, but it did." A sob escaped her as she confessed to being unfaithful to a man she claimed to love. "Lou satisfied the void that your father failed to fulfill." Tears began to stream down her face as she sniffed a few times. "Oh G.o.d, I know it was a terrible and disloyal thing to do. I felt sick about it, and I prayed every single night and day for forgiveness. When your father found out about the affair and then he committed suicide a week later, my heart shattered into a million pieces, Marcus. I blamed myself every single day since his death. Every day." I leaned back in my chair and watched as my mother broke out into soft sobs.

As much as I wanted to be p.i.s.sed off with her, I couldn't. The fact that she thought she was responsible for my father's death sickened me. I wasn't sure what was behind Lou's reasoning in killing my father, and I wasn't sure that I would ever know. Maybe the affair was one of the many reasons. But if I truly knew Lou, I knew that he was a greedy son of a b.i.t.c.h and desired nothing more than power. He wanted to control it all, and the fact that my father was the one in his way convinced me that had to have been more than just the affair. Seducing my mother was probably some sick f.u.c.king twisted plot of his.

I reached out and grabbed my mother's hand. She looked up at me as she dabbed a tissue along her eyes. "Mom, I'm sorry for not hearing you out to begin with, and I'm sorry you had to live with that burden for the last fifteen years, but you must know you were not responsible for Dad's death. You have to let that go and move on with your life."

"One day I will." She sniffed. "Thank you, honey, for understanding."

She pulled out a compact mirror from her bag, and her eyes widened at her reflection, "Oh my, look at me. I have mascara smeared everywhere." She grabbed a fresh tissue and cleaned her face up.

"You still look beautiful, Mom. Don't worry about it."

She laughed at that. "Oh, you not only have your father's looks and traits but his charm as well." Her expression fell as her gaze focused on me from under her lashes. "Marcus, promise me something?"

"Anything, Mom."

"Promise me you'll find a way out."

Puzzled, I tilted my head aside. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes softened. "You know what I mean. Mia's a good woman. Don't put her through what your father put me through.

My heart began to race as my breathing grew rapid. "You know?"

"I've lived that life for almost twenty years. So, yes, I've known. I wasn't thrilled about it. I was hoping you'd find a way out. I wanted to reach out to you, but when I almost did, I thought it was too late. The life sucked you right in. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere you changed. That's when Mia walked into your life. I've loved her from the moment I met her, and I've wanted to thank her. In a way, she's saved you. I've always said people walk into our lives for a reason. She walked into yours to help you break free from all of this, Marcus. Then I thought maybe, just maybe, it's not too late."

Each word she spoke stabbed at my heart. I wasn't sure if it was the talk about my father, about Lou, or even Mia, but something came over me. It felt as if someone had reached deep within me, pulled me out, and jerked me alive.

f.u.c.k it all.

I stood from the table, gave my mother a kiss on the cheek, and left her sitting there with her eyes puzzled and confused by my unexpected departure. Instead of going back to the office, I made a few phone calls to see where he was-the f.u.c.ker I needed to see that f.u.c.king moment. After locating him, I jumped into my car and raced there.

During the entire drive, my blood pumped. The reason for being in this entire f.u.c.king mess with Michael and Jimmie to begin with had completely vanished. The thought of ever losing Mia and my family or them losing me due to a wrong f.u.c.king decision sprinted through my head. Lou could go to f.u.c.king h.e.l.l for all I cared.

I didn't want it anymore.

I didn't care for any of it any f.u.c.king more.

Pulling into the driveway of his nephew Gio's home, I hopped out of the car and stormed toward the door. My heart was racing with every step. The adrenaline pumped through my veins. I reached the front door with a clenched fist and repeatedly banged against the wooden surface. Breathing heavily, I rocked in place with my fist secured by my side.

The door finally swung open and a baffled Gio stood on the other end of it. "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Lou?" I sneered as I barged pa.s.sed him, not waiting for him to invite me in.

"He's in the backyard."

I made an abrupt halt in the foyer when I realized I'd never been here before. I turned back around to face Gio. "Lead the way."

His brows kneaded together. "What's this all about, Marky?"

"That's between Lou and me."

"Hmmm. Really?" He c.o.c.ked his head aside.

f.u.c.k it. I didn't have time for his f.u.c.king games. I turned around and began storming through the house. "Lou!" I yelled as I turned into what seemed to be a family room. f.u.c.ker wasn't there. Turning, I went down a hall. "Lou!" I shouted again as I entered a dining area.

"What the f.u.c.k, Marky?" Gio followed behind me.

I pushed him aside when I twisted around again and exited the dining room. Heading down another hall, I entered the kitchen. There were sliding doors that led to the backyard. "Lou!" I spat out.

Rushing forward, I slid the door open and stepped into the back yard. There he f.u.c.king was. He sat by the pool in a suit. He was engaged in a conversation with two other men. All three looked my way as I rushed over to them. "Lou, we need to talk."

Irritation spread across his face. He must be handling a deal, but I didn't give two f.u.c.ks. The other two men were not pleased with my interruption, judging from their smug expressions. "Marky, this will have to wait. I'm handling business here."

"Now, Lou." I sneered.

With wide eyes, the veins in his neck bulged as his face turned beet red. Very slowly, he snapped his head side to side, cracking his neck. Lou breathed in trying to calm his nerves as his nostrils flared. "Excuse me, fellas," he said smoothly, although I knew he was boiling inside. Good. I wanted him on my f.u.c.king level.

Standing from his chair, he loosened one b.u.t.ton from his suit jacket. The entire time his gaze held onto mine. "Marky, this way." He waved his arm back to where I had just come from.

I nodded, and then I quickly went back through the sliding doors and paced in the kitchen as I waited for him. A few seconds later, he closed the door behind him as he entered. "Have you lost your f.u.c.kin' mind? Never, ever, barge into a f.u.c.kin' meeting like that again. What the f.u.c.k is your problem?"

"I'm out."

Confusion shadowed his features. "What the f.u.c.k are you talking about?"

"I'm out. I'm done. I don't want it, Lou. I'm finished being your f.u.c.kin' puppet. I'm going to live my life my way, and that's without all of this s.h.i.t." I stretched my arm toward the backyard indicating the jobs, the deals, and the f.u.c.king mob.

His mocking laughter erupted in the room. After it subsided, he adjusted his jacket and leaned against the breakfast bar. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but that's not happening."

"And why is that exactly?" I grew more agitated as his c.o.c.ky f.u.c.king grin grew wider.

"Because there are only two reasons why you leave the family." He lifted two fingers, as he referred to the mob as the family. Family my f.u.c.king ball sack. "One, you turned on us and are a f.u.c.kin' rat, or, two, you're a f.u.c.kin' pig. Which one is it, Marky?"

"I'm neither. I'm not a f.u.c.kin' cop, nor am I a f.u.c.kin' snitch. I'm just finished with it all. Done. I'm out, Lou. If you don't like it, then tough s.h.i.t." I turned my back on him to make my way through the hall. I came to a complete f.u.c.king stop at the sound of his gun being c.o.c.ked. Slowly, I turned around. Lou stood there with his gun pointed directly at me. "You're going to f.u.c.kin' shoot me, Lou?" I wasn't surprised, I didn't expect anything less. I still didn't stop as the rage pumped through me. I ripped off my jacket, tossed it on the ground and raised my arms. "Shoot." His eyes grew in amus.e.m.e.nt as he tilted his head aside. "If you're going to point a gun at me, then use it, Lou. I'm not backing down. If I stay in this s.h.i.t, I'm a f.u.c.kin' dead man anyway, sooner or later. So go the f.u.c.k ahead. Shoot."

Laughing once, he slightly jiggled the gun, playing with it, and then he brought his hand down to his side. I dropped my arms, nodded once, and spun back around. "Marky?" I stopped in my tracks but didn't face him again. "I know about your little girlfriend." My heart skipped a beat as I faced him again. He held a smug grin. "The lovely Mia Sullivan, sister of the undercover BPD Michael Sullivan." He c.o.c.ked his head to the other side. "Oh, did you think I wouldn't figure it out?"

I didn't respond as I bit down, clenching my jaw tight.

"I've had my men all over you and her for weeks now. I know every f.u.c.kin' move both of you make. I know Mia's school schedule. I know what she f.u.c.kin' ate for breakfast this f.u.c.kin' morning. I even know when she last sucked your f.u.c.kin' c.o.c.k." His expression fell as it grew with anger. "Don't f.u.c.k with me, you f.u.c.kin' b.a.s.t.a.r.d. I hold the key to both of your f.u.c.kin' lives. I can make one f.u.c.kin' phone call, and just like that," he snapped his fingers, "she's dead."

"You f.u.c.kin' a.s.shole, if you lay a hand on her . . ." I went to surge toward him but was instantly held back. Arms wrapped around me and pinned me in.

"Not a f.u.c.kin' move." Gio growled.

I struggled against him as Lou made his way toward us. "It's fine, Gio. Let him go." Gio was hesitant at first but then released me.

"f.u.c.ker." I spat as I shoved Gio against the f.u.c.king wall.

Gio swung at me, but I ducked in time and quickly jabbed him in the rib with a tight fist. He winced on contact. I jabbed him again with a right hook, and his head jerked back into the wall. In a matter of seconds, he regained conscious and flung himself at me, wrapping his hands around my neck. Blood. I wanted to see blood. With a white-knuckled tight fist, I slammed it against his f.u.c.king nose and continued to slam against his face over and over again. Blood gushed from his face. A bit satisfied and with a sly smile, I shoved him against the wall and continued to pound my fist into him.

BANG!.