Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko Chapter 4

Rather than with lateral movement, she seemed more apt with longitudinal one's.

Oh, by 'she' I meant Touwa Erio.

The time was Sat.u.r.day afternoon — a time filled with laziness. Warm light seeped into the window, endowing the room with serenity and dryness. To escape the sun, I leaned onto the entrance directly opposite of the window, reading the book I bought yesterday. Ryuushi-san recommended it to me after introducing me to the store.

Spending time alone in my own room could almost temporarily erase all the troubles.

Yet something stiflingly hot sat next next to me ruined the moment.

“...Why are you in my room?”

“UweeUwee~” Deciphering her is a pain, so I subst.i.tuted her lines into a cute phrase.

From what I heard, this thing sleeps at ten everyday and wakes up at six on the second day. Erio's lifestyle is way healthier and more staunch than what it seems – not that it matters, because she looks like that. Still, there were things to learn from her.

“UweeUwee~”

“Oh~ I see. I didn't think it was so profound of a reason.”

Basically, I think she meant “since you're free, and I am too, why not bring me to the beach?” which is why I tried to ignore her, lying down or facing away from the noise source.

I don't want to waste my precious weekend on the water that does not pay off the energy it takes to get there. Some energy is only restored and accrued through alone times. If I were to go out, I'd rather it be like a date with Ryuushi-san.

Because Erio permeates the signs of stagnation. In that futon, she looks like the fairy of NEET: even if the content is beautiful, it is still on the same level as the smooth hands of those who refuse to do works or ch.o.r.es.

“…...” I peeked at her face – hm, I didn't even know where it was!

On that note, she's also been purposefully moving next to me since earlier.

Maybe she was looking down at her feet to follow my movement, like a dot on the x and y axis. It's like the table football me and my friends were obsessed with back home – she shuffled about like the hand bars on to the table. The thought of tripping and using her as a pillow sprouted. My chance of winning at this table football game, though, dropped to the third of a thousand.

“Huu~Hah~Huu~Hah~” The thigh-and-futon in front of me changed her breathing sound.

If she regress any further, would she turn into a water flea?

Her choices after giving up her human status would fall into the top five most primitive animals.

This girl wasn't oppressive, but the pressure was still strong enough to affect my breathing.

“...Stop trying to brainwash me. My country-bred brain can't decipher your noises!”

Shoo! I nudged her back with the back of my hand.

But if you earnestly used your looks to your advantage, I wouldn't be so sure… I'm truly helpless.

“Dammit, go away. Why don't you read some books too?”

“Hah~Huu~Hah~Huu~”

After calming down, she flipped onto her stomach. This preposterous ent.i.ty does exists on Earth. Go back to your planet, dammit.

We lied on the floor and read the novel together. I wish it was that simple.

“Uu~Ee~Wu~Ee~” My neighbor swung her feet, protesting her treatment.

“Hah? The room is too dark for reading? Isn't x-ray vision easy for a 'super?'

Or rather, you should just write the contents too and submit it when you're done.

A certain Light Novel and Ill.u.s.tration contest is looking for people too… wait, what was that? [1]

Is this what they meant by that “He that lieth down with dog” thing? I have only known Erio for two weeks, yet my brain is corrupting at a surprising speed. If this goes on, the worst case scenario would be the birth of the combination of my body and Erio's brain. I need to at least resist… But do I? Maybe the order would be reversed, resulting in the combination of my brain and the futon. I don't want to give up on being a human. You could try to entice me by saying “you could spend a whole day in a futon with Erio~” but the only thing affected would be my heartbeat.

Two rings of doorbell came downstairs, from the window's direction, notifying us of a visitor. From the timing and her action prior, I predicted the visitor's ident.i.ty.

“Alright, the cheese disk from s.p.a.ce is here. Go get it… Well, not like I'll let you.”

And that's the gist of it. Setting the usual aside, I do try to maintain the Touwa family's reputation, as a guest should. …I may or may not have thought this when I brought Erio to the entrance.

As a side note, the house owner Meme-san left a 'I'm going to work. Even though its the weekend… No day off...” complaint full of curses and went out early this morning. She mumbled about at least hoping it to be lucky today, dashed out on the bicycle with — intentionally — a piece of toast in her mouth.

“Ah, so she's snapped already.” I saw my aunt away with the new understanding.

I paid the haunch-backed deliveryman and received the pizza. He was different than the usual chill guy, obviously wary toward Erio. Maybe the usual guy just turns a blind eye, so he acts friendlier. Just as I re-realized the peculiarity of the object next to me, the sound 'woosh!' came where my hands were (Erio stole the pizza).

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter… She darted into the kitchen in scattered steps. If she falls down now, it'd look like the colored version of the pied face. I thought as I slowly followed her.

I entered and sat at my spot in the kitchen, pouring two people's worth of tea.

Next, the routine feeding.

Erio ripped off half the pizza, aimed, and tossed it.

Shew~ The pizza dance in the sky.

“Shew~” Like catching a bouquet, I intercepted the food midair. Greasy. Splash! My finger-orchestra played a realistic soprano. The image of a piano played in the middle of a silent cla.s.sroom emerged – a highly self-conscious feeling.

I hurriedly caught the parts that were falling off where I grabbed the pizza. The original target, Erio, opened her mouth upward like a nestling. As if trying to grasp the situation, she wriggled in the futon, waiting for her evil mother to drop the food.

“Strip.”

If it was her, I could easily spit out words that would lead me to being sued by normal girls.

This must be what they call trust, right? Am I right, or am I right, dear fictional readers?

“For once, why don't you eat normally? I don't want to eat with you if you're going to be like that.”

Even though I didn't want to eat with her, I don't mean I didn't want to eat with her. The ambivalent motivation rocked the ma.s.s of my stomach back and forth.

“WueeHuu~” Erio appeared to be complaining. She flapped her legs under the table, probably angered by the denial of her sustenance. I kept thinking about throwing a Frisbee inside instead of a pizza.

“I'm gonna take off the futon!”

I loosened the cheep D.I.Y seal, letting the house air pollute Touwa Erio.

Hearing my declaration, she attempted an escape; I caught her with my leg. “UwahUwah~” A mysterious constraint threw Erio into a disarray. I ignored her reaction, dismantling the clothe line and forcing the innards out into the sun.

“Wow, nice to see ya.” The particles weren't flying today, obediently covering her hair.

Erio smacked my hand and the futon away, shutting her eyes, as if saying “accursed Earthling!”

How do I put it — only her eyes moved, giving the impression that her face lacked exercises.

'You think that's enough to stop me?' She stiffened her torso and pierced me with eyes shining with pride.

Erio grabbed the pizza.

Like doing origami, she folded the pizza in half, swept the topping off and ate them. Then, she stuffed the folded bread in her mouth and began the futon-wrapping process.

“…...” Flaunting at me like that, are you a kid?

“UweeUwee~” Between the futon and the sound of chewing, Erio meant “tie it for me!”

Fingers twitching, I contemplating on strangling her as well.

I filled my stomach with the other half of the pizza and went back to my room.

Erio followed. Now I have a padding in case I fall, how rea.s.suring… I may or may not have thought that.

So why does she stick with me? She must be seeing me as a comrade. What a pain!

We sat against the room's desk and listened to some music.

Erio s.n.a.t.c.hed one of my earbuds away, rustling it under the futon and listened in. I hope Earth music is to your taste.

“......”

Snuggled next to a girl and sharing earbuds.

...Wait, what? This was supposed to be an enviable situation, yet my Youth-point calculator didn't move — there wasn't even light hitting the solar cell.

Mm, indeed I didn't see the neighboring object wrapped in globe pattern futon as a girl. But I did the sandwich Maekawa-san — why?!

Taking advantage of the confusion, my Karaoke solo begun:

“Go back to your planet, alien.”

These lines were harsh, but not exactly spiteful. I evaluated calmly, swallowing the bitterness, and spoke.

“The universe is huge, so stop staying over at earth. The other galaxies are yours, so get a move on. Don't be like one of those mistaken 'friends' who stay over to eat dinner!”

“…UweeUwee~” They didn't pick you up? Were you ostracized?

Not just on the earth, but also in the galaxy. It's big, I guess, but that's still pretty empty.

Are you one of those people who panic when they hear P.E teacher yell 'pick your partner?'

I guess alien relationship is complicated too.

“Do aliens need oxygen to survive?”

“UweeUwee~” Hmph, how dull.

“Why do aliens like earth?”

“UuhoUuho~” Oh~ then go to a country with more beautiful women!

“Do aliens… like pizza?”

“UweeUwee~” That's all they eat… If a pizza shop sets up on moon, it'd be pretty popular.

Ugh—

She seriously annoys me.

Her wheels just don't spin.

So why, then, am I with her?

Under the spring sun, the question and sentiment spread in my mind.

A lot happened in the two weeks pa.s.sed since I moved here.

My books got here, and I don't get lost in school anymore.

I also made a few guy friends, whose primary reason of a.s.sociating with me seemed to be Ryuushi-san.

“Why are you suddenly buddies?”

I don't know.

“What, did you know each other before?”

I don't know.

“What's your name, by the way?”

Leave me alone. Above were all my real thoughts, but my literal responses were slightly retouched. Below are some examples —

Q: Why are (skip)? A: “Cuz I lost to her during a race, now she's onto me.”

Q: What, did (skip)? A: “If we've never met in the previous life, then no.”

Q: What's your name again? A: “Leave me alone.”

I tried thinking seriously.

I'm not a transfer student anymore, neither am I special.

Maybe because of that, Ryuushi-san talks to me every chance she gets, probably to prevent my fate of becoming the shunned student A in cla.s.s. In this time and age, rather than saying her kindness is wasted in the city, it's more like you can't get it anywhere but the paradise!

One of the three dudes asked me after hearing my explanation:

“Why do you get special treatments?”

I didn't know, so I asked.

“Hmmm, I like being the background cla.s.s-rep character, y'know? The type people trust base on her abilities instead of t.i.tle: someone who doesn't stumble easily. So I decided to win you over first! By the way, I was the head of lunch back in elementary school!” [2]

“…Something like that.”

“So why you?”

Give me a break! The eternal loop of Ryuushi-san Q&A began again, so I changed topic into “how much older can your lover be?” One of them said “Up to forty is fine.” Such desperate response made me really want to introduce a person to him.

After the seat change (completely done with drawing lot), I made a few guy friends. The price was the lost of Maekawa-san, who was now three or four seats away from me, and the opportunity to talk with her in cla.s.s.

Ryuushi-san also moved to the seat close to the entrance window, which was the farthest possible distance from me. But she always swings by my seat to eat with me during lunch.

Setting our relationship aside, the curious glances from everyone else was getting sharper.

The gentle Ryuushi-san sang 'an unbalanced diet is an unbalanced heart' — a tune like a certain grade school's slogan — while giving the mushrooms in her bento to me, who always had simple bread. Is her sharing of food with the publicly vegetable-liking yet secretly shroom-hating me the manifestation of her naivete? If it was the result of careful calculation, I would have probably been gnawed to the bones and thrown away.

...And like so, my school life is generally good. Figuratively speaking, it would be the front wheel of a bicycle.

The family, which represented the rear wheel, would be the problem.

I was forced to accompany Erio to the faraway beach at night.

“Ugh, what a pain. I have to study.” After my decline, the futon-girl would shadow me everywhere, groaning about how important her tasks were. She would even arbitrarily come into my room to watch TV. “Beep~Beep~Tss~Tss~” was the sound of her cosmic exchange. She's pretty much a new breed of monster. I beg you to migrate to that world where nothing is impossible.

Sometimes I give in to her persistence and go out with her, surprising even myself.

Why?

Honestly, some parts of Erio vexed me to no end.

But I still served as her driver every three days.

And Erio would walk to the beach during daytime for the remaining days.

Toward the sea where she floated amnesiacally.

In a way, her consistency and perseverance impress me.

“Would your memory come back in a bottle if you come here? This isn't exactly like how the culprit would come back to his crime scene, y'know?”

I sat on a terribly corroded bench that was away from the waves and inquired the stalled mattress. She didn't answer or look back.

lately, when we come here, Erio only looks out from the futon as if peeking at something.

Slightly sticky wind blew every now and then, lifting Erio's exposed hair and stealing the particles. But then it would immediately start emitting rays again — from just the neck up, she really is pretty.

What a waste. The thought appeared as I stared at the back of her head.

Maybe I'll think differently if I look at her side face! I couldn't openly stare though, because it's embarra.s.sing.

“But… it really is quiet.”

I checked last time, kind of hoping to see delinquents or biker gang occupying the place, but I saw neither cherry blossom or gra.s.s that should be growing during spring, nor people who came to do some early water-dipping. Sigh, motorcycles rust around water, so I doubt anyone would come.

I took off my sandals and followed the beach line to Erio. Man, I'm already used to the shuffle of sand. Human nature is truly depressing, always casually devouring the food of life and making a mess.

As for Youth-points, it counted during the first time, but not anymore since it became a weekly routine.

“Oi, s.p.a.ce girl, can you hear me?”

“Speak, Earth ape.”

A venomous riposte, with a simple 'Earth' added in. There are aliens apes, too?… Oh, there are!

That's a movie though. [3]

“Why are you still here, if you're an alien?”

Back to your home world. I think like this because I'm a xenophobic j.a.panese.

“Don't tell me you're the vanguard of an alien invasion force who fell from a ship.”

“How did you know?”

Didn't know she could improvise a shocked expression. Not that I care. Oh well.

If her delusion is for the protection of her subconscious memory, then oh-well.

“Also, your mom totally looks j.a.panese! Where were you born in s.p.a.ce?”

“It is inexpressible in Earth tongue. Based on my judgment, the cousin's score in the Earth's world language, English, is below the decimal points, rendering it impossible for you to comprehend.”

“Hey, that's going too far!” You're overestimating my grade.

Cough, cough!

She created a barrier made of linguistic energy. Is it really that scary to lose all your memory?

...Perhaps it is.

It is essentially death.

Sometime I see the transformed Maekawa-san of the night — our habits seem to have significant overlapping.

“Maekawa-san, what do you think of aliens?”

I sat on the swing of the kid's park (where me and Erio ate dinner), curious of the girl who was energetically carrying out the pendulum motion next to me.

After b.u.mping into Maekawa-san, Erio would always head home first.

By the way, Maekawa-san was wearing a convenient store's uniform: the ones with green and white stripes.

We had a lot of those stores back home, but I have yet to see one here — the company probably hasn't expanded here.

“Aliens… Have you been infected by Touwa, transfer student?”

She sought the pleasure of fast swings, despite having to bend her knees.

Initially, Maekawa-san swung with straightened back. Her head rammed right onto the metal bar above, making her writhe painfully in the muddy ground for a few minutes. “Ack…”

Her store uniform now looked like a baseball player's after sliding in mud.

“No, I'm just curious. You don't have to be serious, but what do you think of them?”

“Hm, well… I suppose they're not too different from religions. Some believe in them, some make money off of them, but I feel like people seek spiritual comfort from both.”

“Huh… I see.”

“Besides Touwa, do you have other reason for asking this?”

“There is. I want to use it as a reference as to how I should think and do.”

Since ignoring our Miss Touwa-san is not good for my health.

Strange, though. I actually wanted to get closer to Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san, but why am I wasting time with Erio at the beach? Ever since moving here, I haven't gotten my Youth-points to positive. I thought I actually wanted to spend more time with people who aren't Erio.

“Oh yea. Wanna dress up with me, if you're free tomorrow?”

“At least think of something I would want to do!”

“Hahah, whatever animal you want, I have all~ of them!'

“Chupacabra.” [4]

“Alright! Let's go drink some blood! Our targets will be couples!”

“You have it?!”

It's not B.S? Someone found the real deal?!

“Sigh, I can't go even if you have it. I got things tomorrow.”

“Things? Someone who looks as free as you? What could it be?”

“Things.”

Maekawa-san smacked me with the arm of a Gibbons. Her arms went up at full speed and fell on me.

But, if you keep this up…

“Ahh~” After three strikes, Maekawa-san faltered.

“U~wahh~ The blood~ The blood is rushing into my head~”

She kneeled down in a daze. The swing swished by in a pendulum motion, grazed her back and…

“...Ah.” What do you call this awkward feeling?

The almost palpable 'pain' appeared before my eyes.

I made a date with someone yesterday.

At the station that I had never been to since two weeks of moving here, I arrived at eleven o'clock.

Since I told the other person I only know the streets around the taxi stands, she supportingly said, “Then we'll meet around there~” I rode my bike to the meeting location.

I took a while deciding on my outfit… In the end, I wore a shirt and a pair of cargo shorts – basically what I usually wear. Is it better to wear something that has more city-ness (what?) I regretted a bit, but considering what the wearer is composed of, there's not much use lamenting… I grabbed my bangs; I'll probably dye my hair sooner or later.

Besides, spending an entire night going through all my clothes, arguing back and forth 'this looks better~no, this looks better~' is already Youth-points worthy. Well, whatever. In any case, I was a bit tired.

Instead of Erio, a satchel sat in the basket. The basket is finally doing its real job!

“Sigh, I guess I can't a.s.sume things about that either.”

There isn't a point in thinking about the meaning of life.

What I refer to is my basket's regular, Erio, who walked to the beach today as well. She begged me to be her personal driver even on the weekends, so I fled here after running away from her. I didn't feel guilty, but this bike does belong to Erio, so I kind of regretted it now. I should have asked her. I'll casually apologize to her after I get home.

“...It's gonna be a problem for her to ride though.”

Arms trapped in futon with only her head out: riding like that, she may even have the choice of circus act as a future career! But more basically, I don't even think she can go out alone.

“…Oh, there she is.”

My eyes caught a girl running lightly toward here.

...Hm? Her appearance was very familiar. I paused the motion of adding another point, squinting hard.

The girl waited on the other side, waiting for the light to change while marking time. [5]

The person you're waiting for isn't so important that you should be freaking out so much! I thought, a bit self-depricatingly so.

The person I'm meeting was Ryuushi-san.

She told me she's bringing me around the city during the weekends.

Since Ryuushi-san's always in club after school, she's never free after school.

She slid in front of the bicycle, using the friction between shoes and ground to brake. Entry. Her shoulder moved up and down as she heaved, and sweat drops were forming on her. The makeup on her face was wearing off a bit, but I pretended to not see.

Why is she wearing school uniform, anyway?

“Good… Morning… Uu, it's hot~”

“Mornin'. Uh… Nice casuals you got!”

“Ah, ya mean this…? Sorry. My morning practice took a for~ever, so I couldn't change… It's super~ embarra.s.sing, but I didn't want to make ya wait...”

Ryuushi-san somewhat moved her tired lips and arms full of lactic acid, and explained her attire. [6]

“No, it's fine; I don't mind. Where's your bicycle, Ryuushi-san? You parked it somewhere?”

“Eh, hahah… I ran all the way here!”

With hands on her knees, she managed a laugh before a torrent of coughs ensued.

“Why?”

“Cuz… I woulda hafta wear helmet.”

“Ah, eh…?”

“Then it'd squish my hair… so I ran here.”

“…...”

She didn't think to ride without wearing a helmet. This girl is the devil of adorableness!

Until Ryuushi-san caught her breath, my fingers were twitching to pet her head.

“My hair is really naughty~ If I leave it alone, it'd straighten itself~ I wanna be a curly~ Seriously, it's de-curling again~”

Her homemade words weren't exactly coinable, but they somehow carried the meaning across anyway — impressive. Ryuushi-san redid her messy bang, tilting over and peeking at my bicycle basket.

“Aren't ya parking it?”

“Ah, nah. I can catch up.”

“That sounds kinda weird, Niwa-kun… And I told ya, it's not Ryuushi.” As per usual, she added.

Ryuushi-san strode forward, her ordinary footsteps drowned out by the bustling city.

“Oh, not bad: the bike's actually faster than walking today.”

The two-step distance between she and me elated both the bike and its rider. Since my goal was so low, I ended up wasting more energy looking everywhere for something that would encourage my spirit.

Even if it's out of my reach, would it still be better to have a more normal goal? After all, Ryuushi-san's looks were kind of stinging.

Mm… If this goes on, she will suspect the meaning of this bicycle's existence. I have to prove to her that we are two-in-one.

I timed, when pedestrians around dissipated, and shifted my center of gravity backward.

“Check it, wheelie!” I showed the only trick I know on the bicycle.

Strictly speaking, it's not a wheelie, but more of a jumping-on-the-rear-wheel

“Whoa, a circus performer!” Her pitying stare abated a bit, and she even clapped twice.

Since doing something like this on a crowded street just spells trouble, I quickly landed on both wheels.

Rolling on earth is a bicycle's job.

It cannot exceed its ability or defy gravity.

The time was close to noon. Ryuushi-san had brought me to a diner nearby.

Before we went in, she was exceptionally animated, even declaring, “I'm uber pumped!” What's happening? Surprised, I walked inside.

After being led to the no-smoking area, I glanced at the waiter who served us. Maekawa-san probably has their uniform too, I thought while ordering the Beef Risotto with unlimited drinks on the first page of the menu. Ryuushi-san picked tomato salad, rice and vegetable soup with drinks. Basically, it was a full course meal without the full course — limbs-without-body meal.

If a stranger saw her, he'd probably think she's trying to lose weight! Her meal content was way too healthy.

“I'm amazed at how you're not underweight.” I had a sudden urge to hit her with an ashtray from the smoker's area as I asked. “Won't you get hungry later?”

“Hm~ I guess. Make that two salad, please~”

“...At least get a different one!”

We went to the beverage dispenser together, and there I found the reason of her excitement.

“Hm, this has a calcium-color~ Kids probably don't like 'em too much. I'm gonna add some tasty carrot juice~!” Ah. The fluid turned into the color of Apollo Chocolate’s top. [7]

“You mix drinks too, Ryuushi-san!”

Wasn't she humming while pouring different color fluid into a gla.s.s? She'd even forgot portioning.

“I'm not Ryuushi-san~! Doesn't everyone do this?”

“I think it's just city folks! Back where I lived, n.o.body does this.”

Because there weren't any diners, but a lot of cafes.

Whimsically mixing her drinks, she began nitpicking the country's problems:

“That's bad: it's like having sixty percent of your life with no spice.”

“That bad?” And I don't even know how life tastes.

From another angle, that sixty percent is also open for use, so I'll accept it like that.

“Prototype complete! Drink it!”

Ryuushi-san revealed the amber liquid and gave it to me.

“Wait, I'm drinking it?”

“This is my work of pride.”

“Then I'll give it a shot.” To exaggerate a bit, it was handmade by Ryuushi-san!

I sucked into the straw.

The taste was enough to kill; it didn't even get swallowed.

“Wa.s.sup? Not sweet 'nuff?”

She worriedly handed me syrup. Man, girls are really into sweets! Hold it!

“Is this carbonated?”

“Full of CO2!”

“Yeah, I'm no good with carbonated drinks.”

Because it dries and burns my throat, even if it's just sitting in my mouth.

“Eh~Sorry~ You shoulda told me first.”

Ryuushi-san waved her arms, either concernedly for, or protestingly against, me. Under her lovely expedition, my Youth-points boosted immensely, but I didn't think she'd tell me to drink it.

“Niwa-kun is the Oolong tea guy, right? But failure is the mother of success, so I'll learn from this experience… Um, but doesn't this mean if the mom doesn't fail, there won't be a kid?”

With a joyful and positive tone, Ryuushi-san turned her failure into ambition.

How do I say this — it seemed that she had just described a philosophy that fits even for life. Based on her personality though, maybe it's just something normal a ditz would say.

“Alright~ Let's make a number two! This time I'll make ya shoot beams outta your mouth!”

“And when do you plan on making that happen?”

“A success depends on a dad, too! A happily-married couple~!”

I realized her premise for prototype number two was failure. That makes me the monitor!

Ryuushi-san mixed number two with Oolong as the base, and number three which overwrote number one (which she drank, like an indirect kiss. Whoaho~). She then came back to our seats.

“Oh yeah. What are your interests, Ryuushi-san?”

I swiped the sparkling number two and number three out of my field of view, casually bringing up the topic.

“My name is Ryuuko! Mm~ Interests. Interests! ...Now that ya asked… Um, like… clubs? Oh yeah, here ya go.” She nudged number two over here.

“What club are you in?” I'll live on with my head held high!

“Girl basket ball; cuz I like M*tsui His*shi, so I joined.” She picked up the cup.

“M*tsui His*shi…?” I glanced over at my feet occasionally. Maybe someone was crawling toward me, grabbing my foot and asking for help.

“Don'cha know Sl*m Dunk?” The two gla.s.ses a.s.sailed me constantly.

“Oh, I know the name. It's manga, right?” Don't look up, and don't look down. Just live in the present! The present!

“Yeah, that! It's super awesome! I'll lend you a few books; ya should check it out. Ah, do you read manga?” She utilized her arms to the maximum, even sending the gla.s.s of water over.

“If I must say, it's like I didn't really read them when I was a kid, so I don't have the habit.” Even though I think the one in the middle is drinkable, judging from the atmosphere, the first to give in loses, so I didn't do anything.

As the battle played on in the cordial air, Ryuushi-san's salad was served. The verdancy of the cabbage and blush of tomatoes contrasted, and for those who see it… They must recall the brothers who grow bigger eating mushrooms.

“I'm diggin' in!”

Ryuushi-san set the gla.s.ses on my side, temporarily ceasing fire. She joined her hands, properly greeting before eating.

Though her taste in drink blending is X, she indeed has the capability of a saint: affable with others.

She picked up the tomatoes with a fork, putting it in her mouth before the juice dripped. Ryuushi-san chewed, a cheerful smile on her face like when I eat my favorite food, such as burgers.

Mm~ tomatoes I get, but cabbage… Ryuushi-san must be a herbivore! So if I'm a carnivore, I can eat her! (Mental status: really broken)

“Ryuushi-san, do you have any special talents?”

“Hm, talents?”

The transport of cabbage halted halfway. She put the fork back into the bowl, arms crossed.

“Talents~… Using ten yen coins to, ah, not that… Using ropes or clothe lines, um… I can sometimes use grade schooler tickets… that's dumb… It doesn't count~...Nope… no, maybe it does. Forget what I said, I wanna cancel! Boomska boom boom~”

“It's alright if you don't have one...”

“T-thats rude! No, I mean, shuddup! I totally do, and I have lots!”

The sweetly-rash Ryuushi-san was a feast for the eyes.

“Ah! I know!” As if grasped a thread of hope, she beamed a brilliant light.

“On the elementary school yearbook, isn't there a section for teachers to write down comments and compliments for their students?”

“Oh?”

“The teacher complimented me, saying I was the best at making cyclamen bloom!”

“Bloom? So it spread a lot of flower particles (粒子)?” [8]

Seems like your teacher didn't really know what to write! Even if my mouth gets ripped, I will never say this out loud. Ashtrays are scary things!

“Well, it was actually a Hyacinth at the time.

"......”

What's up with your going silence? Seriously, airheads!

“Heheh, so that's that! What about Niwa-kun?”

Ryuushi-san didn't seem to have understood what she just proved, flinging the same topic back to me while picking up her fallen cabbage. “The cabbage core is awesome~” She seemed satisfied.

“Talents? Wasn't my wheelie good enough?”

“If ya think so, sure~”

She smugly a.s.sented. If Ryuushi-san hadn't dug her own grave prior to saying this, I might actually get mad. She has quite the foresight, I admiringly thought.

“Oh, can I ask another question?”

“Sure. Go 'head.”

Even though I objectively couldn't find what made her happy, the fact was that Ryuushi-san is feeling exceedingly great. Then, here I go.

“What is 'mystery' to you, Ryuushi-san?”

“Hm… Mm~ mm… About that...”

As if her head-down was drowned in water, she squeezed out an anemic response, mood drastically changed.

“Gimme a sec, I'm switchin' over to my brain's serious parts.”

Zoom, click. Ryuushi-san motioned and made the sound of switching mode. She seems to have altered her brain's hyperlink function. Amazing: the division must be the reason why your usual behavior is so (omit).

Why did I ask her that?

The reason why Erio irritates me so much may be because of the way I view 'mystery.' So I thought about listening to others' opinions.

“Um, I got it.” She raised her hand.

“Go ahead.” I picked her.

“It's like this!” She answered.

Ryuushi-san smiled, expanding her arms to her joy. The waiter also happened to served us the Beef Risotto and soup at the exact moment; her gesture and charming smile froze right there.

“Whoa!” The server was indeed baffled.

“Uwoooooh~” The herbivore gave a cryptic cry.

“So, is there more to your answer?” Since her arms were still out, I asked gingerly.

“Of course!” Ryuushi cheered herself up. She perked up, fixing her messy clothes and hair.

Both hands on her knees, she began her childlike explanation on 'mystery':

“The things I see, things I hear, say… To me, they are all bewildering.

“Even though we learned in science cla.s.s reasons why things happen, I honestly don't think they feel real. And the tools we used too. Like phones: I know how to use it, but I don't get how it works. Cars are fast, but I don't know why either.

“Just how much do I know? It's got me thinking, and it's got me confused. But I know I'm alive because of something. Sometimes, before I sleep, I even ponder about the mysterious things that kept me alive~”

“…...”

The answer I sought was found.

Astonishment and the sage right next to me wet my eyes.

“You're right.” I couldn't help but gave a twisted grin. The me now must look creepy as h.e.l.l.

“Ah, no~ I'm embarra.s.sed about how shallow I must sound. Sorry.”

“Ryuushi-san, you pa.s.s!”

“Whua? Ah? I pa.s.sed…? Wow~!”

After a delay, she finally picked up, raising her hands with the fork still in one.

The scattered customers focused their gazes on us, as if blessing.

From society's view, we'd be called 'idiot couples'… Only if. My evil thoughts churned.

Afterward, Ryuushi-san brought me around the station.

I asked her to introduce me some bookstores where I can spend my allowance, also a relatively cheap cloth shop nearby. Too bad it wasn't exactly male oriented.

By the way, the worst things I've said so far today, “what's a boutique shop?” has been trashed and promptly deleted.

...Someone please kill my brain cells!

Though I made a freckle-sized black history, today was, overall, a meaningful day-off. Youth-points, without a doubt, increased by three points.

Just how much do I have collected now anyway? To be honest, the calculations were done with basic arithmetic depending on the situation, so the result isn't recorded.

I bought a few novels in the used-book store, and then a cheap hat at some other place. I asked Ryuushi-san, “does it fit?” after putting it on.

The answer was, “Ahahah!”

Ahahah!

Since a certain aunt was waiting for me back home, fussing me, “we should at~least~eat~dinner on the weekend~”, we went home after five.

“Remember to show me the a.s.signment tomorrow in cla.s.s~” Ryuushi-san waved me goodbye and ran her way home. After separating with her at the station, I stepped on the inefficient bike pedals.

Spending way more time than the on the taxi ride, I cycled into the city of aliens. Pa.s.sing through the shop that sells seven-dimensional key chain, I admired the houses and road saturated by a nonseasonally red dusk and strolled back home. It isn't bad to relax while you can. Whenever Erio's riding with me, I can only focus on keeping up due to the increased calcium intake.

“...Man~”

My gaze (seemed to have ) locked on with that of Erio, who was walking on the opposite side of the road far away. Even with the futon between us, I could sense her stare. Wait, no; I don't want any super power. Erio dragged her left foot along. I changed the direction of my bike slightly, riding toward her side. Being next to her during daytime really stands out! I definitely don't want to become the person we are looking for in “Finding W*ldo.”

“...This is so sad.” Even walking with just my feet, the speed wasn't too different.

“You want a ride? Or do you want your bike back?”

Walking shoulder by shoulder, I kindly taunted her.

“The permitive tool that suits the kousin's feeble berdy is embarra.s.sing. I do nert need it.”

Erio dragged on while (probably) forcing herself to answer. I looked to the ground; one of her feet was shoeless.

“Oh I know, why not just fly? I don't get how it works, but it has to be easier that walking! Oh yeah, how about flying with a bike? You can reenact that one really famous scene!” [9]

I freed one hand from the handlebars and pointed it to the sky, making it so Erio can get on the bike. She ignored me, though, and walked on aimlessly.

“Sigh, I bet you can't fly even on a bike! Even though you're an alien.”

“…...”

Originally walking forward, Erio turned around. She intentionally hid her face, readying her shield.

“If you try to fly, you're probably going to crash into the river again!”

“…...”

She faced forward again, looking away. Not like she could see anything.

She really annoys me. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but mind for her. Is this the power of being cute?

I held her hand, leading her to the right path. As for my impression of feeling her hand, put it metaphorically, it's likely to melt faster than ice cream in the summer; and it will return to the air with no aftertaste.

Carrying her up the bike, I learned what it's like to be a cla.s.s leader bring everyone to school. I asked myself what to do next.

The opportunity for a heart-to-heart dripped, waiting to erupt from the spiritual faucet.

Do I say everything now? It's going to be terrible if I deliver a half-baked speech and have to find another time for a one-sided talk.

Please, I don't want to spend more time with the current Erio. Stomach ulcer and pimples are dreadful!

“You wear the futon, because you don't want to bike anymore, right? Honestly, I don't get how you thought of that… But where is the lost memory? Like how you treat aliens, you could only 'believe.' If aliens exist, then your memory must be in their hands — yet, you can't fly.”

And so, she could only seal it away. Lock away her own inability; make an excuse in order to survive.

...I don't deny the act in itself. However, her way of exploiting the name of alien rubbed me the wrong way.

“You're not going to make any excuses?”

“I have no interntion to explain to cernscienceless berngs.”

“...Is that so.”

End of conversation. I stuffed Erio into the basket and onto my wallet and the bag with book. The ride begins.

Before the sun set, we returned to the house of Toudou— I mean, Touwa. Erio didn't get off the bike until I parked it into the storage. I carried her off the basket, and we walked into the house.

Then, we stopped in front of the entrance.

“…...”

“…...” For some reason, neither of us wanted to go in first.

“You first.”

“To averid a sneak atterk, I must stey berhind.”

“...To avoid a sneak attack, I must stay behind?”

Anything counts as a sneak attack against you!

The time was now two days later, the night of Monday. Since the new school's cla.s.s progress is different than my old one's, I was studying.

I plan on going to college, so I study quite a bit. Erio went to bed early today as well, with no intention of going out. There's also the repercussion of our single-sided argument.

Though I didn't really care — that's just what I called it.

I'm pretty d.a.m.n insensitive, right? right.

There were only sound of pen sliding across paper and pages of book flipping…

“Mako-chan~ let's play~”

It was supposed to be, but an obviously bored person had to barge in here.

“Please act your age!”

As a person of natural candor, I sometimes speak frankly.

“Why? Mako-kun is still a kid!”

“I mean you...”

The agility of a woman who's about to become forty is eye-popping.

Meme-san, who just came out from the shower and was still steaming, stood next to me while covering her hair up with a towel. She peered over at the desk:

“Oh~ You're studying? Math, huh~”

Meme-san pinched the page up with her finger tips, flipping without regard to the marked pages:

“So this is what you're learning~” She flicked the corner of a page with her middle finger.

“Don't you know that you should be quiet and not bother someone who's studying?”

“Nope. I didn't have my own room.”

She denied altogether, even using irrefutable facts as her argument.

“Haven't you heard from your dad? We used to live in a c.r.a.ppy apartment.”

Meme-san flipped the pages continuously and spoke.

“No, I haven't spoke often with dad since long ago.”

That's why I admired leaving my parents and living alone.

We don't talk not because there aren't relatives around, but because we don't have anything to talk about. I hope something that awkward would never happen.

Meme-san closed my book and notes, and put my pen and eraser back into the pencil pouch.

“Why are you putting my stuff back?”

The cleaning hand paused because I grabbed it. Meme-san stared her eyes out, scarily playing out appearance of a childish girl. How fearsome, if it was natural.

“Why? Because Mako-kun is playing with me!”

“Too much restriction would affect a child's decision making skills.”

“Staring at these tiny words till the middle of the night will make~you~old~”

She began imitating a realistic monster (I dub her Forty-years), becoming even more suspicious. Is this really an act?

“Is burning the midnight oil a bad thing?”

“Knowing me, you should know I ignore rhetorical questions!”

She actually ignored my query and started to pace around the room:

“Hey, what is this framed award for? Dirty mags?”

“Miss foreign, we're in j.a.pan: please use proper language.”

“Let's see… Kanji Certified level three? That's pretty lame~” So not just questions, but everything in general is ignored? [10]

Meme-san browsed through the words on the award and put it back. She walked toward the shelf; the hanging towel swung, following her like a pony tail.

“Hm, deep-sea creature… Wu~uu, you don't like manga, Mako-chan?”

Meme-san confirmed what's on the shelf and asked. Indeed, it was filled with novels I bought from the store; their authors' names forgotten, and their genre eclectic. And the rest were sea creature atlases. Since I don't have a thing for scholarly books, I didn't have a version with scant pictures.

“No, not really. I did buy J*mp for a while, but now I just browse them in convenience stores.”

“Really? I have a bunch of cooking manga in my room; you can borrow some.”

“Thanks.”

“Read up and become a house husband who would do all my ch.o.r.es!”

“You already have a daughter who claims to do things, go train her!”

“That reminds me, I have a friend who didn't read manga too. She's a girl though.”

Meme-san reminisced while touching my books. She neglected me again… I'm getting used to it.

“There was also a person who ripped book pages to make puzzles. He made every book he borrowed from the library into puzzles — the librarian even cried.”

“…...”

I looked away, a.s.suming the ignoring stance. Why did I partic.i.p.ate in this immature fight? This 'big kid' was indeed lowering my mental age.

The self-made word has many ways of p.r.o.nunciation, but I will read it as Daikyou. Sounds like Great Misfortune, not bad.[11]

“Okay, lets see what else is in Mako-kun's room! We'll start with the wallet, a.k.a the treasure. Then I'll get his pa.s.sbook~ pa.s.swords later. Are there piggy banks? I'm going to smash them~”

“I don't want strangle my aunt, so please stop.” I stopped ignoring her. Wait, this doesn't help.

Her act was, in a way, an invasion; I didn't want to cry to my sleep because I chose to keep quiet.

And Meme-san is the modern age video game heroine: she doesn't search the nooks or crannies, but goes straight for the expensive things. In other words, a thief. [12]

“Kidding! I already have Mako-kun's allowance in my bank account!”

Meme-san raised her hands above shoulder and beamed. This was probably the same as an animal showing you its stomach, like a sign of friendliness! Sometimes, looking at her behavior, I seriously wonder if she's drunk!

But I know one of my living problem is gone. If my allowance depends on my aunt, I'd have to be careful in what I say and do.

“So you wanted to play, but there isn't anything here.” I sighed while holding my hair up, attempting to struggle.

“Aren't you here?” She answered with a brilliant smile.

“…...” I really wanted to hear a girl my age say that. That way the Youth-points burrowed underground might actually see the sun.

Meme-san jaunted toward me. Wordlessly, she sat by my feet and looked up with an alluring smile. I… I don't plan on planting a flag here! Who's gonna try to sneak a peek at her b.o.o.bs! d.a.m.n right, I was looking at something else. Like the pattern on her pajama. Meme-san had some weird pattern, like the suns that show up in heart-warming anime. It doesn't suit you!

Meme-san unleashed the towel on her hair, letting out her half-dried black hair. Probably because of the angle, her thirty-some year old appearance looked twenty.

“Sigh… I am shocked!”

Obliviously staring at the front of the room, she suddenly sighed.

“Sh-shocked about what?” Somehow my pitch changed.

“I actually have to work tomorrow. Life as an adult is just unbelievable.”

“But… Isn't that normal?”

Today was Monday, but she talked like she was working overtime on her weekends.

“Well~ You aunt was a still student not too long ago~” She hugged her knees and rolled around in the room.

Disregarding the lies, she was simply complaining, “I don't wanna work~”

“Being a single mom sucks~ Yeah, I get to save money for one person, but there are times when I need more hands. Since I can't compare, I don't really know though.”

In any case, this household lacks a father since the beginning.

“Do you really not know who Erio's father is?”

As the question did involve privacy, I softened the tone.

“Mm~...” She lay there, eyes and toes pointed at the ceiling. “Ah~ the light hurts~” I'll pretend to not hear that. Since my aunt was mumbling to herself, I waited for a response.

“...Listen, Mako-kun.” She spoke amidst the whisper. Does she actually have two tongues?

“Yes?” I just realized, Meme-san seemed to have settled on the name 'Mako-kun.'

“Right now, I have no bra!”

“I bet that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Quick, get up.”

“Nnwuu...” Meme-san flipped over; naturally, ignoring me. Our level of incommunicableness had traversed the level of planet, no, gender. [13]

Whether without comeback or had given up, I felt dizzy, not knowing what to say to her back.

Meme-san's mumbling stopped; her lips folded into a line. Her feet didn't leave the ground, and she tried to roll herself up like a Daruma doll. [14]

“Hold on, I'll use a calculator.”

“...For what? Hey, for what?” Was Erio's father an electronic part?

“Papapa~” She opened my drawer and took out the calculator… Um, why does she know where it is? “Beep, beep, beep~” Meme-san clicked on the machine. It was like a novelist who doesn't quite know where the keys are, and has to use his index fingers… Hm, why did I draw such an a.n.a.logy? Aliens? I best not to think about this anymore. [15]

“Um, I am two-thousand and two hundred… then six hundred. And then the first person was one thousand and seven hundred… no, next… from just the right side, maybe three thousand. He looked like a myna from the front. Not him either, his level wasn't enough. Then...”[16]

Back from work, the exhausted aunt grumbled as if possessed. She ceaselessly clicked away on the calculator with a serious look. Working into the middle of the night, how remarkable of her.

“All right~ I think I know who her dad is!” She raised her arms and threw the calculator to the side.

“With a calculator...”

“Me+Erio's father/2 = Erio. Isn't she super pretty? Beautiful~ Just like me~”

“I agree with the first part.”

“So her material's looks must be great. I was counting the good-looking point of the men I was with before.”

“This only depresses me, sigh.”

She really likes being circuitous. Meticulous or irresponsible – she could be either.

Seriously, all she needed was to recall using the normal way. She should have at least liked the person for a bit.

“From the five most likely candidates, the most suspicious… Hm, it had to be the foreigner Elliot!”

“Isn't it easy to figure out from her name?” Then what was all that about?

“His good-looking point was about seven thousand and five hundred.”

“That's enough to destroy the earth!” Lets just keep talking to ourselves! I'm being ignored anyway!

“By the way, you are about two thousand, Mako-kun. You don't have to feel bad.

But I can't feel good either, right? Hearing the honest opinion from a female is a good thing, so I didn't refute.

“So~ her dad was Elliot, huh~ Ah, then she's mixed!”

There's a limit to playing dumb, I agreed in my mind infinitely… Ah, a mixed person! First I've seen! I didn't know being mixed would give your hair particles… Pretend you didn't hear that.

“But you totally knew where she came from!” Was I infected by my aunt? I have to be careful about how I talk now — especially around Ryuushi-san.

I think, depending on the situation, I could totally speak obscenely around Maekawa-san, but I still care about Ryuushi-san more.

“Look, do you really think your aunt could charm that many men at once?”

Her expression was like a kid's who stiffly confessed after having her mischief discovered by an adult.

“I haven’t seen you in your prime, so I wouldn't know.”

I jokingly shrugged. A twelve-year old picture is, after all, too early.

“I think I'm still young~” Though pouting, she still lowered her head.

“That guy was handsome, but I didn't think we'd make it far even if we lived together. We broke up, too, because our priority in life was different… or our values (?) were. So what I have now is the best! Ah~ but now I have to work my b.u.t.t off! Uwah~”

Meme-san hugged her hung head and began struggling, but instantly looked up, invigorating herself.

“Oh well! Now I got Mako-kun. You can be my younger husband.”

Her eyes squinted with a smile, looking straight at me. Uwah!

T-the Youth-point didn't move! In a way, it almost went down! My adolescence may be forced to have a period put on if I become too involved with this person!

“...So why did you come into my room?” I am not embarra.s.sed. I may or may not be lying.

“Because we haven't been in sync recently, so I wanted to talk.”

“Were we ever in sync…?”

Please, look at the previous pages filled with meaningless punctuation as references.

“See~ you're always like that. Mako-kun is so cold.”

Meme-san pouted… See what I mean? (I sought the silent a.s.sent from my fictional readers)

“I bet you won't believe me, but they call me mushy at work!”

“Ohhh (your brain?)...”

“How come you drawled like that? How fascinating.”

“The world is filled with fascinating things!” And without monsters!

The sea is an enigmatic treasure trove. For me, it is the most exciting place on this planet; rather than some famous art gallery or theme park, I'm more fervent about the ocean.

Ah, the universe counts as fantastical too. So does the girl next door to me.

“Oh, right.” Meme-san clapped. And again. Clap, clap, clap, “Stop it.”

Bluntly speaking, is she an idiot? I almost called my aunt a stupid kid.

My a.s.sessment for you is changing way too quickly.

“I don't ever come here, so let's play 'Old Maid.' I'm pretty darn good at it!”

Perhaps wanting to play cards since the start, Meme-san raised the cards she brought and spoke. Are we really doing this? A not-so-young aunt playing poker with a high schooler in the night… Poker Night — this made me think of some sort of magic trick. Usually adding 'Night' in a word makes it sound erotic, but this was refreshing.

“Just us? What about Erio?”

“No~way~ I wanna play with just Mako-chan.” Meme-san knocked on the floor with her ankles.

“I really want to say 'Shut up!' and 'd.a.m.n Brat!', but most importantly, don't call me Mako-chan.”

I have too many things to care for. Even my name is first come first served. What the h.e.l.l!

In the end, me and my aunt played Old Maid. As opposed of the game's name, the family's daughter was not one of the two partic.i.p.ants. [17]

Meme-san shuffled the cards while humming, her eyes glittering.

“Lets bet on something! If Mako-kun wins, I'll do anything.”

“… Wishes above my aunt's ability are impossible!”

That much I knew.

“My, I'm serious — I just don't have to lose!”

Meme-san calmly a.s.serted. From her tone, the entire sentence seemed genuine.

“...What if I say I want a girl's panties?”

“Oh my~” She answered bashfully: “Mako-kun is so daring… Well, you are a guy after all! I guess I'll have to give you mine — no, give you some aid as well!”

“I mean a girl's.”

Please stop disregarding the key points of someone's sentences. Even though I was kidding about the panties, so I don't really care, I was actually angry with her.

“If you really wanted it that bad, couldn't you just go next door and take a few? Mako-kun, you're so weird.”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm weird, so let me say it: your brain is fried!”

Even though the night was tranquil, I screamed my throat out. If we lived in an apartment, our neighbors would definitely complain. Probably even ostracize us.

Meme-san finished shuffling; before she dealt the cards, I asked.

“...And? (それで？)”

“De Lorean~!” She raised her right fist. How annoying. [18]

“Shut your spinal reflex, please. I meant, what do you want if you win?”

I needed to make sure. My opponent was, after all, Touwa Meme-san.

I intentionally mentioned a preposterously embarra.s.sing wish, but she tried to grant it. Gambling with a foe like this without drawing the line first is like running to my own death.

“Right, then…” Meme-san's eyes abruptly turned stern, and she spoke solemnly. “Break up with your girlfriend.”

“I can't do things out of my power!” I yelled out the most authentic thing I'd said so far today.

“Ahahah, I might say something like that. Come on~ it'll be fun!”

She began dealing with a magnanimous smile that will accept — or rather, devour —everything.

There were only two people, so she totally could have just given me half the cards.

Though something was definitely off, my b.u.t.t remained stuck on the chair.

Speaking from just the result, it was a flawless defeat for me.

I lost completely.

For the first two times, I thought it was just bad luck.

Suspicion rose at the fourth round, and the consecutive defeats afterward mercilessly buffeted me.

As my losing streak made it to the twelfth, the tunnel vision from rage and dry-eyes recovered.

Something was off. Statistically speaking, this is impossible! This is a game with a fifty-fifty chance of winning!

And Meme-san didn't even hesitate when she drew my cards, which directly affected her chance of winning. Even though everything besides pulling of the last two cards was routine, her motion hadn't changed since the start.

No matter how long I pondered, I would always grab the joker from Meme-san's last two cards.

She had to be cheating. I know it.

“...But knowing it now after losing so much is a bit late.”

“I know, right?” Meme-san, who sat on my bed without permission, nodded in agreement.

The game of Old Maid finally ended after I admit defeat. Ironically, the first one to quit wasn't the old woman.

Since there were only two players, our battle tossed back and forth, proving indecisive.

“What did you do?”

Please stop rolling around my bed, I looked down at the scattered cards and thought. Dealing with emotion when discontent is especially difficult.

“Since you didn't see through me, I can't teach you. You're such a kind boy, Mako-kun; I'm worried about how gullible you are.”

“...I don't know what to tell you.” Actually, didn't you just deceive me?

“Here's a hint: Mako-kun agreed to play with my cards, and then let me shuffle and