Darkness Before Dawn Part 10

He shakes his head, his green eyes lidded and chest expanding as it rises. "I don't think I can," he whispers back.

My eyes are wide and on his as I nod, giving him permission to move inside of me. He lets out a breath and leans his body over mine, resting his elbows beside my face and ducks his head to kiss me. "I didn't want to live without you," he murmurs against me as he pivots his hips into me. "I couldn't bear to live without this again," he says, his eyes glistening as mine fill with tears. I put my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him into me.

"I didn't want to live without you either," I whisper back, tilting my hips to meet him.

"I can't lose you again," he replies, his hips moving enticingly slowly.

"You won't," I breathe.

"Promise me I won't," Cole husks picking up the pace.

"I promise," I gasp, arching my back and throwing my head back onto the pillow.

"I'm nothing." He thrusts deeply making me moan loudly. "Without you." He thrusts again, sucking a breath between his teeth. "I can't." He moans. "Live without you." He continues to press inside me and wash kisses over my jaw, my neck, before looking at me. Blood pumps through my veins and I moan once more as pleasure ripples through me from head to toe. Beads of sweat form above Cole's eyebrows, his eyes half closed and coated with a l.u.s.tful glaze as he stills inside me, pouring himself into me and moaning out my name loudly.

"I love you. So much. So much," he growls as he fills me, never taking his eyes off of me, his pulsing pushing me over the edge again and making me clench around him.

"I love you too," I murmur against his lips when he lowers them to mine again.

He places his forehead on mine as we catch our breath, our bodies slick with exhaustion. We both let out a long breath and look at each other for a long silent moment, basking in the aftermath of our pleasure.

He caresses my cheek with his thumb as he shakes his head looking into my eyes. "I was empty without you, baby," he whispers.

I think about him going to work tomorrow and suddenly my chest begins to ache. The seriousness in his eyes makes me wish I never had to live without him, not even for a day, not even for an hour. And the more I think about it, the less I know if I can handle it. He pulls out of me slowly, slower when he sees me cringe, and lays beside me.

He shifts my body to face him and tilts my face to him, looking at me with concerned eyes. "What's wrong?" he coos.

"I don't think I can do it," I cry. "I don't think I can stay here without you."

"Shhh," he soothes, pulling my face to his chest. "We're going to be okay, baby. Everything's going to be okay."

The next morning, feather soft kisses all over my face wake me up. I stretch out my body and open my eyes and my smile falters when I see that Cole is already wearing a sharp charcoal business suit and tie. My stomach drops at the sight of him ready to go, despite my being the reason he's going back to work. I do want him to go, I just feel uneasy about being without him again so soon. I just got him back.

"You're leaving?" I groan.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "Yes, sleepyhead...and you're coming with me."

"I am?" I ask wide-eyed.

"You are," he replies with a crooked grin.

"Are you sure?" I ask, fidgeting my fingers, which he stills with his hand so that I look at him.

"I'm positive. Get up."

I do as I'm told and get ready as fast as I can before hopping to the kitchen on one foot as I put on my other shoe. I smile at Cole's broad back and watch him as he washes the dishes and hums along to whatever tune is playing in his head.

"Ready?" he asks, his back still facing me.

"Yes, sir," I reply sweetly while fluttering my eyes even though he can't see me.

He turns around with heated eyes that roam my body slowly. "I like that," he says before winking at me and walking toward me, handing me a brown paper bag and a cup of coffee. "Let's go, school girl," he adds with a laugh.

"School girl?" I ask, smiling as I look into the bag. "Oh this smells so good. Thank you."

"Bacon and egg wrap. I didn't have time to make you pancakes this morning."

I smile at his thoughtfulness. It's cute that he would apologize for not making me my favorite breakfast, even though he made me something anyway. He kisses the top of my head and grabs his jacket from the couch before escorting me out. Bruce and Spencer meet us outside the door and Cole informs them that we're going to a building downtown. We sit in the backseat of my car and let Bruce drive us since Cole is already running late to catch his flight.

"Did you get my ticket?" I ask, suddenly panicking.

He looks at his watch and exhales. "Yup. Got it while you showered. I hope we make the d.a.m.n flight. I hate running late-" His voice fades off as he continues to ramble about being late and I stop paying attention.

"Who are you interviewing?" I ask as I wipe his eyebrow with my thumb. He gives me a crooked smile and I stop mid-wipe and scrunch my eyebrows in expectation.

"A pitcher from the Mets," he replies, his eyes sparkling in amus.e.m.e.nt. "Number twenty-three." My hand and mouth drop simultaneously and I can only stare at him as he bites down on his lip to stifle a laugh.

"No way! You're interviewing Jack Carter?" I squeal, fully turning in my seat to face him. "Like THE Jack Carter? Like Jack Effin' Carter?"

He laughs, pulling me close to him in the seat, but I back away with my hand on his chest and look at him expectantly.

"Yes, 'the' Jack Carter," he says, air quoting as he rolls his eyes. "Are you going to go all groupie on him and s.h.i.t? You know, now that I think about it, the only sports item you have in your closet is his jersey. Maybe I'll make you wait outside while I interview him."

I gasp, widening my eyes in disbelief. "You wouldn't! He's my favorite player ever! Besides, I have Gregory's jersey too!"

"Babe, you have Greg's jersey because it's him and he sent it to you as a gift! You're sitting here f.u.c.king drooling over Carter and we're not even in New York yet."

He shakes lint off the sleeve of his suit jacket and turns his head to face his window, looking away from me.

"Aww you're jealous! How cute," I say playfully as I laugh and take my seat belt off to sit on his lap, gaining his full attention again. "But you know you're the only guy I would ever drool over, right?" I kiss him on both cheeks and then on the lips.

"I better be," he growls as he bites down on my lip. When I shimmy out of his lap and back to my side of the seat, I smile widely at him.

"He does have a nice a.s.s, though," I reply, trying to hold in my laughter.

He looks at me with a serious face for a couple of seconds before his lips break out in a grin. "Nice a.s.s?" he asks, pursing his lips and nodding his head slowly. "All right, I'll remember where your eyes are the next time we're at a game and the cheerleaders stand in front of us to do their little routine."

"Not funny, jerk," I say, flashing him my middle finger, which makes him laugh loudly and lean in for a kiss before he wraps his arm around my shoulder and tucks me into his side. I sigh happily as I lean into the comfort of his hold, but my heart drops when we drive by the park and awful memories flood my mind. I feel him stiffen beside me and hug me a little tighter.

"I read your letter," I whisper. He backs away a little and lifts my chin to look at him.

"Which one?" he asks softly.

"The one you wrote after I broke up with you. How many were there?" I ask with a small laugh, hoping to lighten the mood a little.

"There were many letters," he says with a sad smile before kissing the top of my head.

"Well, I read that one. Aubry brought it-"

"We're here," Bruce interrupts as the car comes to a stop in front of the airport.

Cole searches my face before exhaling. "I meant every word that letter said, but it doesn't matter anymore. I have you now and neither of us is going anywhere. I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you always. You've always been it for me, Blake." He kisses my smiling lips before opening the door and pulling me out of the car with him. Photographers and journalists are waiting for us as soon as we step out of the car. They're all shouting questions about my disappearance and my kidnapper as Spencer shields us from them and Cole rushes me into the airport.

I leaf through a magazine while Cole gets our trip sorted out in the business lounge of the airline. When he comes back, he hands me our tickets, and I put down the magazine to make sure our seats are together.

"I think I got the window seat," I say with a smile, making him frown. Cole hates not sitting by the window.

"Nope, I doubt it," he replies as he scrolls through his phone and types.

"Umm...I'm pretty sure A is the window seat, just saying," I say still smiling.

"It doesn't really matter, Blake, you know I'm sitting there anyway," he quips.

"I wouldn't bet on it," I respond, picking the magazine back up to continue idly looking at pictures. I don't care where I sit, I just love that he gets defensive about his window seats. I've had to listen to enough of his stories to know that he hates arguing with pa.s.sengers about sitting there.

He lets out a breath and puts his phone away in the breast pocket of his jacket. "Are we seriously having this conversation right now?"

I bite down on my lip to keep from laughing at his serious face. "Are you really going to pout about it?" I razz.

"I'm not pouting! You know I hate sitting in the aisle and middle seat! My legs are too long for people to cross and go to the bathroom! And why the h.e.l.l do people go to the bathroom during a two-hour flight anyway? I don't get it! Did they not know they had to pee before boarding the airplane?" he exclaims, throwing his hands up as his eyebrows draw together and his jaw grinds.

I sputter in laughter, tears forming in my eyes at his outburst. "You're so cute," I say with a smile, grabbing both sides of his face and giving him a smack on the lips.

"You're such a pain in the a.s.s," he says with a light laugh as he flicks my hair away from my eyes.

Our trip to New York ends up being the best idea ever. Cole fills me in on why the interview is so important. Apparently, it's a pilot they're filming for a new show. It isn't news to me, as he's been talking about the plans for this show for what seems like three years now, but the fact that they gave him the opportunity and he almost pa.s.sed it up is a lot to take in. His interview with Jack is the first for the show called Inside the Locker Room With Cole Murphy.

Everything is a success and the views are amazing, which means he gets to film four more interviews in hopes that the show will continue to air. It bothers me that Cole even worries about things like his show flopping, when he knows it won't. He's too charismatic for anybody not to want to watch, and every time he mentions being worried about it, I find myself trying not to roll my eyes at him.

We spend most of Sat.u.r.day morning packing up his house, which he was finally able to sell. I'm sure he didn't profit from the sale because he hasn't mentioned it to me, but I don't have the heart to ask, even if he says it doesn't matter.

"Let's go to the city for lunch," he says after taking the last box of things downstairs. The only thing left is the clothes in our closets. The mention of food makes my stomach rumble in antic.i.p.ation.

"Sure," I reply, giving myself a once over in the full-length mirror beside me, and shrugging when I decide that denim capris and a T-shirt should be fine.

"Nope, you have to change," Cole says, interrupting my thoughts. I purse my lips and raise an eyebrow as I wait for him to elaborate on that. "We're going somewhere after lunch and I know you would kill me if I let you leave dressed that way. Just put on whatever cute little dress you have in the closet."

I gape at him. "Are you serious? Whatever cute little dress I have in the closet? I only have a handful of things here and half of them are c.o.c.ktail dresses!"

"So wear a c.o.c.ktail dress," he replies with a shrug.

"It's three o'clock in the afternoon!"

"So wear what you're wearing. Let's go," he says with an eye roll.

I return his eye roll and place a hand on my hip. "Umm...no. I'll change, thank you very much." I disappear into the closet and angrily sort through my wardrobe, dismissing everything. Everything either makes me look fat, is for cold weather, or isn't cute enough. I wish I hadn't decided to join him on his trip so last minute.

"Cole," I shout from the closet. "Can we go to a store and buy something that I can wear?"

His laugh resonates through the almost bare room and I hear his footsteps approaching.

"Blake, it's not that big a deal, I shouldn't have said anything. Just wear what you want," he says with a comforting smile.

"Except you did say something and now that's it, the seed is in my head and whatever I wear isn't going to be good enough," I reply, throwing my hands up in frustration.

He strides up to me, backing me against the wall, making the wire hangers clink and the clothes scatter to the floor. He cups my chin and looks straight into my eyes, his green eyes warm and serious.

"Anything you wear is good enough. Anything. You make everything look good. Just wear what you're wearing," he says before dipping his head to kiss my lips softly. When he pulls back, he brushes the hair out of my face and taps my nose, walking back out.

"Yeah, but you're wearing a sports jacket," I mutter at his back. He shakes his head and shrugs off the jacket. "You're still wearing a nice Polo," I say, looking down at myself again. I'm wearing an old Kiss shirt, capris and a pair of flip flops. I look like a b.u.m compared to him. He pulls his shirt over his head and I am momentarily frozen, torn between running up to him and jumping on his muscular back so I can bite his shoulder blade or letting it go because I'm starving, for food. The way his wide back looks and his jeans hang off his hips makes thirty different scenarios of us naked and sweaty cross my mind. He twists his body around, the movement causing my eyes to trail down his rippling abs and back up to his face slowly.

"One track mind," he teases with a smirk on his face, before turning back around and continuing his walk out. I drop the dress I have in my hand and break into a sprint, jumping on his back and circling my legs and arms around him before biting his shoulder, his neck and placing a wet kiss on his cheek as his body shakes in laughter. I bury my face in his neck and squeeze him as hard as I can.

"I love you," I murmur against his neck before sliding off slowly.

He turns around and smiles softly at me. "I know, baby. Now let me go dress like a b.u.m." My mouth pops open as he laughs and gives me a hard smack on the a.s.s before turning back around.

Once we're both dressed casually in jeans and T-shirts, we leave the house and take a train to the city. Despite his original plans, I convince him to take me to Serendipity because I am dying for a deep fried Oreo ice cream. We eat and he humors me by pretending to be John Cusack while I pretend to be Kate Beckinsale, because I mean, isn't that what the cool kids do at Serendipity?

"You suck at remembering lines," I say with a smile and an eye roll.

"That movie is way ahead of my time," he says with a deep chuckle.

"Oh please, how many times have you watched it?" I snort, knowing that he's seen it at least five times with me. Nineties movies are our thing, granted, Home Alone always takes the cake, but I still love them all.

"It's always playing on AMC, dammit," he mumbles below his breath, making me laugh loudly before I turn to see Spencer watching us, equally amused.

"We have no privacy," I whisper. "At all. Am I the only one that gets annoyed with that?"

Cole groans. "Blake, we need them, please don't start this again. They're good people and they are going to make sure nothing happens again. And we have Connor and them."

"Don't remind me," I reply, swirling my spoon around the melted ice cream. If it weren't for Mark and Connor confirming who my grandfather is, I would think they were trying to play a bad joke on me. It's just too much to deal with, which is why I haven't even considered meeting him yet. As much as I want to see my father because I'm morbidly curious, I'm not sure I can go through with it. Connor says he doesn't even know I'm alive, which makes it easier to stay in hiding. It also makes me wonder how he doesn't know I'm alive if Connor, Mark and my grandfather all know that I am.

"Are you sure you don't want to meet them?" Cole asks, disrupting my thoughts.

"I don't know, Cole. I don't know anything anymore," I whisper, looking up from the ice cream for a second before returning my gaze to it. He puts down his spoon and places his hand over mine, completely covering it before squeezing it once.

"You know me," he says in a low voice that makes me snap my eyes back to his.

"And that's all I need to know," I reply just as quietly.

As we stroll hand in hand around the city, which proves to be sticky, as summers in New York usually are, we fall into comfortable conversation about the buildings and how much nicer the people are in Chicago.

"Don't say I didn't warn you about your clothes," he says, giving me a pointed look.

"You keep saying that!" I say, exasperated. "Let's just go buy some d.a.m.n clothes."

He grins widely. "Okay, let's do that."