Boycotted Part 18

(_They do it at once_)

Act II.

Scene I.

On the Banks of the Tiber. Ten Years Later.

_Enter Romulus, Remus, bricklayers, maidens, and others_.

_Rom._., 'Tis done. The proud usurper bites the dust.

_Rem_.

(It's took us ten good years to do it. That's the wust.) _Rom_.

The tyrant's ashes moulder on the plain.

_Rem_. (You've said that once before. Say it again.) _Rom_. Remus, my blackguard brother, hold thy tongue.

_Rem_. Romulus, may I be spared to see thee hung.

_Maidens_.

Alas! to see two brothers bicker thus is sad, Let's laugh and sport and turn to something glad.

_Mary Ann (blushing_).

I'll sing you a simple ballad if you like.

(_All shuddering_). Good gracious! (_Aside_) Certainly, by all means.

_Mary Ann_.

How doth each naughty little lad Delight to snarl and bite, And kick and scratch, It's very bad, It isn't at all right.

Oh, don't do this; oh, don't do that, Don't tear each other's hair, But shout and play with ball and bat, Or dance with maidens fair; Play tennis, cricket, kiss-in-the-ring, Rounders or golf or catch, Play baseball, rounders--anything, But please don't fight and scratch.

Run quarter miles, or hurdle race, Jump high or low or wide; Try football tricks, both drop and place, Join us in seek and hide.

But _please_ don't squabble, dear boys, It isn't nice to squall; It looks so bad, makes such a noise, It quite upsets us all.

_All_.

Enough, dear Mary Ann, enough, enough; (Did ever mortal hear such stupid stuff?) Who's going to fight? We're here to play, Reserve your lectures for some other day.

(_Athletic sports begin. The crowd looks on, as Chorus_)

_Chorus_.

Clear the course, ring the bell, Toe the line, start them well.

Go it, cripples! on you go!

This man's gaining, that's dropped slow!

Mind the corner! keep your side!

Save your wind! Well run! well tried!

One more lap! Stick to it there!

Now for a spurt! He's leading clear-- No, neck-and-neck! No, leader's done!

The best man wins! Well run! well run!

Now for the jump--four feet, all clear.

Up inch by inch. Ah, very near!

Another try. What, missed again?

He's not the winning man, that's plain.

Up, four foot six! Bravo! Well jumped!

See, number four is getting pumped.

Good, number six! He's all on springs!

Another inch! The tug begins!

Up, up, and up! Three men still in - Now only two! Which is to win? Up higher!

Ah, there's one miss more! Well jumped!

Dead heat at five-feet-four.

(_During the song Romulus and Remus run and jump. Romulus wins the race, but the high jump is a dead heat_.)

_Romulus (in a temper_).

Remus is a sharper, Remus is a cheat, Remus collared my side, And made it a dead heat.

I'll collar Remus' side, Whether he likes or no; I'll not be done by him - At least, without a row.

_Remus (derisively_).

Romulus, he makes a fuss Because he's been licked by his brother.

Let him alone, and he'll go home; Who cares for his noise and his bother?

_Chorus (reproachfully_).

This is the way they always go, always go, always go, Quarrel and kick up no end of a row, From the time they get up in the morning.

Leave them alone and let them be, let them be, let them be; If they can't be civil, let us agree On this beautiful May-day morning.

(_Exeunt dancing, leaving Romulus and Remus fighting_.)

Scene II.

On the Site of Rome.

Four Years Later.

_Enter Romulus and Remus lovingly, with their arms round each other's necks_.

_Rom_.

Good old Remus, ain't I fond of you!

Oh, what a brick you are! I love you so!

_Rem_.

I never knew a chap I liked like Romly, So gentle, kind, good-looking, bold and comly.

_Rom_.

You make me blush, my Remy; _you're_ the brick, Through thick and thin I vow to you I'll stick.

_Rem_.

Thank you. Suppose, to mark our vows, We raise a monument or build a house.

_Rom_.

Why, while we're at it, let us build a city, The greatest in the world!

List to my ditty: (_Sings_).

This is the town that Romulus and Remus built.

These are the walls that go round the town that Romulus and Remus built.

These are the boys that built the walls that go round the town that Romulus and Remus built.