Book of Etiquette Volume Ii Part 3

It is one of the charms of candlelight--this power to bring up pleasant reminiscences. Between these stately guardians of the floral centerpiece may be placed small dishes containing preserved ginger, macaroons or bon-bons.

Salt-cellars and pepper-boxes are next located on the table, and the places are laid for the guests. The proper number of forks is placed to the left. The knives and spoons are placed at the right. They are placed in the order in which they are to be used. Not more than three forks should ever appear on the table at one time. If others are needed they should be placed with their respective courses. A small square of bread, or a roll, is in the center, covered with the folded napkin, and a little to the left are the several gla.s.ses.

Care must be taken in arranging the dinner table to have both sides balanced. There is an old maxim that says, "There must be a use for everything" and this holds especially true of the table of good taste.

It must not be littered with useless articles, no matter how artistic or odd, for they hamper the movements of the guests and make things unnecessarily crowded. b.u.t.ter rarely appears on the table at the formal dinner; and condiments are brought in by the servant only as they are needed.

SOME IMPORTANT DETAILS

Menu-cards are no longer used at the formal dinner, unless it is in celebration of some auspicious occasion and honored guests are present.

In this case, the hostess has the menus printed or engraved in a delicate script and has one placed beside the plate of each guest. A favorite fashion is to have them printed in French. Sometime one of these cards serves for two guests, although the hostess who takes a pride in her dinners will provide each guest with one, as it serves as an appropriate souvenir of the occasion.

The lighting effect of the dining-room is important. Instead of the candles on the table there may be an electric cl.u.s.ter high above the table, or small candle-power electric lights on the walls. These latter produce a soft effect which is most pleasing. Glaring lights of any kind should be avoided. Candles and electric lights should never be used in conjunction.

There is nothing more conducive to thorough enjoyment of an evening, to the thorough enjoyment of a menu, than when table and appointments are perfect and artistically simple. The hostess should give as much time and thought to the preparation and arrangement of the table, as she does to the planning of the menu. She will find that her guests will appreciate novel lighting effects, surprising color tones, unusual serving innovations. And she will find that a correctly laid table will add surprisingly to the entire success of her dinner party.

TABLE ETIQUETTE

The importance of correct table etiquette cannot be over-emphasized.

Nothing is more vulgar, than clumsy, awkward movements at the table, and it is certainly a sign of ill-breeding deliberately to fail to act in accordance with the rules of table etiquette. The rules of dinner etiquette should be studied carefully and just as carefully followed, if one wishes to be--and everyone does--a lady or a gentleman.

Perhaps the most important thing is one's bearing at table. Very often you see a seemingly cultured gentleman in a hotel dining-room or restaurant playing with the table silver or absent-mindedly clinking gla.s.ses together. This may be overlooked in the restaurant, but at a formal dinner it is essentially bad form. When the hands are not being used, they should rest quietly in the lap--never should the elbows be rested on the table. The chair should be neither too near nor too far from the table; both are ungraceful and awkward.

TABLE SERVICE

The dinner napkin is from twenty to twenty-four inches across. It is folded square unless the table is somewhat crowded, when it may be folded diagonally (after having been folded square) so as to give more s.p.a.ce around the board. If the napkins are monogrammed the monogram should be placed so as to be in plain view.

At a formal dinner the first course is on the table when the guests enter the dining-room. It consists of oysters, a canape, a fruit c.o.c.ktail, grapefruit or something else of the same kind. Oysters on the half-sh.e.l.l are served bedded in crushed ice in a soup plate. This is placed on the service plate. A c.o.c.ktail is served in a c.o.c.ktail gla.s.s which is placed on a doily-covered plate which in turn is placed on the service plate. The silver for the first course may be on the table beside the soup spoon or it may be served with the course.

The waiter removes the first course entirely before the soup is placed.

He stands at the left of each guest and removes the plates with his left hand. The soup in soup plates (not in a tureen) is placed on the service plates and when this course is over service plates as well as soup plates are removed and the entree is served. If the plates for it are empty they are placed with the right hand but if the entree is already on them they are placed with the left. If empty plates are supplied the waiter pa.s.ses the entree on a platter held on a folded napkin on his left hand, using his right hand to help balance it. Each guest serves himself.

At the conclusion of this course the plates are removed and empty warm plates placed for the meat course. The meat should be carved before it is brought to the table and after the waiter has served each person he serves the vegetables. If there is only one waiter it is more convenient to have the vegetables placed on the table in large vegetable dishes from which each guest serves himself. After the vegetables have gone around once they are removed but they may be pa.s.sed once or twice again before the conclusion of the meal.

The salad follows. It may be served on each plate (and this is surely the more artistic way) or it may be served from a platter. After the salad the table is cleared of all plates that have been in use, of salt and pepper shakers or cellars and is crumbed before the dessert is brought in.

Usually the dessert which is nearly always ice-cream or something else frozen is served in individual dishes. Small cakes are pa.s.sed with it.

Other desserts besides ice-cream are served in much the same way.

When the dessert has been removed, finger-bowls half filled with water and placed on a small doily-covered plate are set before each person.

Coffee may be served at the table but it is more often served in the drawing-room.

USE OF THE NAPKIN

What can be more unsightly than a napkin tucked carefully in the top of one's waistcoat? And still, how often one sees it done among men who believe that they are impressively well-bred! The proper way to use a napkin, whether it is at a formal dinner, or in a restaurant, is to unfold it only half, leaving the center fold as it is, and lay it across the knees. It may be used constantly during the meal, whenever the guest finds need for it, but it must never be completely unfolded.

When rising from the table, the napkin is placed _as it is_ on the table. It is never folded again into its original form, as that would be an a.s.sumption on the part of the guest that the hostess would use it again before laundering. A reprehensible habit is to drop the napkin carelessly into the finger-bowl, or over the coffee cup. It should be laid _on_ the table, at the right of the finger-bowl.

THE SPOON AT THE DINNER TABLE

Spoons are used when eating grapefruit and other fruits served with cream. Jellies, puddings, custards, porridges, preserves and boiled eggs are always eaten with spoons. Also, of course, soup, bouillon, coffee and tea. In the case of the three latter beverages, however, the spoon is used only to stir them once or twice and to taste them to see that they are of the desired temperature. It is never allowed to stand in the cup while the beverage is being drunk. Nor is it permissible to draw up a spoonful of soup or coffee and blow upon it; one must wait until it is sufficiently cooled of itself. In taking soup, the correct way to use the spoon is to dip it with an outward motion instead of drawing it towards one. The soup is then imbibed from the side, not the end.

THE FORK AND KNIFE

In using the fork and knife, one can display a pleasing grace, or just the opposite--awkward clumsiness. It depends entirely upon how well one knows and follows the correct rules. The first rule to be remembered is that a knife is never used for any other purpose than cutting food. It is unforgiveable to use a knife to convey food to the mouth--unforgiveable and vulgar. The knife is held in the right hand and the fork in the left. When the desired morsel of food is cut, the knife is laid aside temporarily and the fork is shifted to the right hand.

The knife and fork should never be held in the same hand together, and when not being used, one or both of the utensils should rest on the plate. They should never be allowed to rest against the edge of the plate with the handles on the table; when one is through with both the knife and fork, they should be placed entirely on the plate, their tips touching at the center, their handles resting against the edge. They are never placed back again on the table.

The foods eaten with the fork are meats, vegetables, fish, salads, oysters and clams, lobster, ices, frozen puddings and melons. Hearts of lettuce and lettuce leaves are folded up with the fork and conveyed uncut to the mouth. If the leaves are too large to be folded conveniently, they may be cut with the blunt edge of the fork--never with a knife.

FINGER FOODS

Various foods are eaten with the fingers instead of fork or spoon.

Bread, for instance, is never cut but always broken into small pieces and lifted to the mouth with the fingers. b.u.t.ter is seldom provided at the formal dinner, but if it is, each little piece of bread is b.u.t.tered individually just before it is eaten. Crackers and cake are eaten in the same way; although some cakes and pastries are eaten with the fork.

Those that can be eaten daintily with the fingers such as macaroons, lady-fingers, cookies, etc., should be eaten so while layer cake and elaborate pastries should be eaten with the fork.

Corn on the cob is without a doubt one of the most difficult foods to eat gracefully. And yet it is too delicious to forego the pleasure of eating it at all. It is entirely permissible to use the fingers in eating corn, holding it lightly at each end; sometimes a napkin is used in holding it. Many a foresighted hostess, when serving corn on the cob, provides each guest with a short, keen, steel-bladed knife with which the kernels may be cut from the cob easily. This is by far the most satisfactory method.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Photo by Bradley and Merrill. Courtesy of the _Pictorial Review_.

TABLE SET FOR DINNER

The decoration in the center of the table should never be so high as to form an obstruction]

French artichokes are also difficult to eat. The proper way is to break them apart, leaf by leaf, dip the tips in the sauce and lift them to the mouth with the fingers. The heart is cut and eaten with a fork.

Lobster claws may be pulled apart with the fingers. Shrimps also, when served whole in their sh.e.l.ls, may be separated, peeled and eaten with the fingers. Fruits such as oranges, apples, grapes, peaches and plums are all eaten with the fingers. Celery, radishes and olives are similarly eaten. Sometimes there are other relishes on the dinner table, and the guest must use his common sense to determine whether they are eaten with the fork or fingers. Bonbons, of course, are always eaten with the fingers.

Whenever fruits are served the finger-bowl should follow. It is always used at the completion of the dinner. The bowl is half filled with tepid water and set upon a plate. A fragrant leaf may be added to the water.

The fingers are dipped lightly into the bowl, one hand at a time, and then dried on the napkin. It is a mark of ill-breeding to splash the water about, to put both hands into the bowl at once, or to wet the entire palm of the hand. Only the finger tips should touch the water.

TABLE ACCIDENTS

"Accidents will happen"--at the dinner table as well as anywhere else.

The duty of the guest and the hostess both is to see that no confusion and embarra.s.sment follows.

If a spoon or fork or napkin is dropped, the proper thing to do is to allow the servant to pick it up; the well-trained servant will not return it, but place it aside and give the guest another one. If a gla.s.s or cup is dropped and broken, embarra.s.sed apologies will not put it together again, but a word of sincere regret to the hostess will relieve the awkwardness of the moment, and will be as gratifying to her as profuse apologies. If the article broken is a valuable one, the guest may replace it by sending, a day or two later, another one as nearly like it as possible. A cordial note of regret may accompany it.

Sometimes a cup of coffee or a gla.s.s of water is overturned at the table. This is, of course, a very serious and unpleasant accident, but there is no necessity in making matters worse by fussing about it and offering several exaggerated apologies. A simple word or two to the hostess will suffice; but it is really quite important that one should be careful not to let an accident of this kind happen too often, otherwise one will soon acquire the reputation of being a clumsy boor.