Drown 9 #8

I wanted to laugh, I want to mock  him, to throw insults. When she destroyed us, what did you do? when she was taking you away from me, what have you done?

I badly wanted to ask him that but instead, i said..

"You already broke the connection between us Zach"

He shook his head..

"No, you don't understand" He seems struggling, having a hard time explaining.

What's there to not understand? My brows furrowed, is there still things i do not know?huh?

You left me, You left for that girl. You told me you cannot keep up with our relationship. You shattered all my foundation to our relationship, you made me beg, you let her destroyed our plans. You let her destroy... Me. 

So what do i don't understand?!

"Is she jealous?" I bit my lip with that question. No, you won't cry in front of him Audelia. Never.

"Yes" He immediately said that i felt losing all my strength and all i could do is to lean on my chair.

"Yes, and i want to clear her mind Wy, I do not want to repeat my mistake, i don't want to hurt her like i did to you"

He spoke calmly.

I wanted to shout 'What?!'

My whole body shivered, suppressing my anger only made it worst.

"So hurting me is fine? it's okay if i'm in pain?It's Okay  to go insane by trying to find answers what went wrong, why did all of a sudden it turn out like that? that how come all the promises and plan we built vanished?"

I asked painfully, he needs to know... he needs to understand my pain! he has to hear it!

"Wyett, it's not that. I just don't want to repeat the same mistake twice" I look at him like he has two heads.

Maybe, he's right.  I really don't understand. I refuse to understand!

I don't understand that despite all my efforts he left me, why i still can't accept that despite all the love i gave, all the memories i tried to built all the efforts i did to build our relationship he can leave me, he can cheat on me.

I don't understand why he made me feel like i was only his lessons, a lesson he needs to avoid so he can't commit another mistake. A lesson he doesn't want to repeat.

"Zach, Tell me. What's wrong with me?" This time i spoke lowly. I caught him shook his head.

"This conversation is getting nowhere Wyett, I better go, I just really want to give you this things" He stood and about to walked out but i caught his hand.

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

"When i told you i wanted someone who's afraid of losing me, someone who's terrified of being away with me, someone who will fight so i could stay in their life. You told me.. You told me you are that someone, Zach."

I broke into tears... recalling those moments.

Slowly, i tilted my head and our eyes met.

"What happened to you? You swore that to me. What happened to that?" 

He just shrug