Anna Strong - The Becoming Part 20

He grows very still, his eyes boring into mine as I let him learn the rest. I hope by doing it this way, he'll feel the shame and regret as well as hear the words.

But there's no way I can predict the depth of his rage as he learns how I violated his most inner sanctum. A wave of furious energy propels me against the arm of the couch as he leaps to his feet. He moves so fast, it's like watching a wisp of smoke blown out of the room by a turbulent gust of air. I hear thunderous footsteps on the back stairs and the grinding of broken wood as he wrenches open of the attic door. Then there's silence, profound and terrible.

And I'm left alone and afraid.

Chapter Thirty-One.

The silence stretches on. Ten minutes. Then fifteen, and twenty. When I can no longer stand the wait, I force myself up the stairs.

Avery is standing at the window, his back to me.

I'm sorry.It's all I can think to say.

He doesn't answer. Doesn't move. His mind is a black void, empty and cold. I've never felt anything like it. Even the temperature in the room has fallen. I find myself shivering, despite the bright sun, and know it's Avery who is doing it.

I have only one excuse,I begin again.I was desperate to help David. He is my friend, and I must try to save him. Williams offered nothing but the possibility that he might be able to make some kind of deal with the Revengers. When I saw Lawson on the beach, I thought I might be able to make my own deal. What Lawson told me- Avery's voice cuts in, quiet and controlled.You believed I kidnapped David. You came here and searched my house and broke into a sacred place without first coming to me. You did all this despite what's happened between us.

His back is still to me, and despite the dark energy emanating from him, the need to be closer compels me forward. I stand beside him, so close we almost touch, but unbidden, I can't take the chance to reach out.

That's a wise decision, he tells me.

Avery. You must understand my position. You've been a wonderful teacher. I don't think I would have survived the changes without you. But David is my friend. I can't let him die without a fight. I won't. You talk about our natures. It's not in mine to abandon him.

I feel Avery move before my eyes register it. One moment he's next to me at the window, the next he's across the room, one hand resting on the casket of the young girl.

"This was my wife, Marianna." His tone is weary, his voice sounds ageless and old. "We met when she was a girl in the early nineteen hundreds. I didn't want to fall in love with her. Her father was a patient at the hospital where I practiced. He had tuberculosis, a death sentence in those days. His wife had already succ.u.mbed to the disease and there was nothing I could do to help save render him comfortable and free of pain. He knew he was dying. He begged me to look after his daughter because she had no one else and I agreed. When I saw her for the first time, at his funeral, I knew I was lost."

His fingers trace the delicate lines of the portrait. "She was so beautiful. Pure of heart and spirit. It had been a long time since I allowed myself to form an attachment to a mortal. I was more vulnerable than she. Still, despite my apprehension, I let myself fall in love. It was glorious at first. It was glorious until she learned of my 'nature.' She was twenty-five when she killed herself."

His eyes, clouded with visions of the past, clear and darken dangerously when he fixes them on me.Don't speak to me of "nature," Anna. You have no idea what lies in store for you. The sooner you learn to separate yourself from the affairs of mortals, the better it will be.

I don't understand you, Avery. You certainly have not separated yourself from mortals-you're a doctor.

He waves a dismissive hand.My vain attempt to make amends for a hundred years of indiscretion. It took me that long to realize I wanted to live in harmony with men, not prey on them. Becoming a doctor enables me to do that without becoming involved.

But there are caskets here to attest to the fact that you didn't always feel that way. You've fallen in love with mortals again and again. "To my eternal regret," he thunders.

The sound of his voice makes me jump. "I'll probably feel the same way in a hundred years," I say quietly. "But first, I have a friend who has been missing for twenty-four hours. If you can't or won't help me anymore, I understand. But I'll find David, and if there is a vampire involved in his disappearance, he'll regret it, I promise you."

So now you think Williams is involved.

He's picked it out of my head before I realize I'm actually thinking it.Yes. He's the only other person who knows of our connection. I think you should know what he told me today. All of it.

I let him sort through the things Williams said. When I recall his comments about Avery wanting me gone, he stiffens.

"I never told him I wanted you to leave."

"Well, there's obviously a reason he wants me out of the way. Do you have any idea what that might be?"

Avery considers the question, leaving his mind open to allow me to follow his probe. But he shakes his head after a moment.

There is nothing in your becoming a vampire to threaten Williams. He is an old soul. Almost as old as I am. You are mistaken about him.

No.

I've taken a step back from Avery.I may not know everything about him, but there's something not right about Williams. He lied to me about your feelings, for one thing. If it's true I don't threaten him in any way, why does he want me to believe you think I would be better off gone? It's the one argument he could make that might convince me.

I've already told you,Avery counters stiffly.I never said I wanted you to leave.

Then what is it? What is it about me that threatens him?

Avery moves toward the door. I don't want to stay in this room any longer. I'm going back downstairs.

He waits for me to pa.s.s by him, pulling the door shut behind us, before he adds,Any questions you have for Williams, you can ask him yourself. He'll be here in thirty minutes.

It's a long thirty minutes. Avery disappears into the library, leaving me alone to wait in the living room with nothing but my thoughts.

I've exhausted all of my options. Donaldson is dead, Lawson says the Revengers had nothing to do with David's kidnapping, and I seem to have alienated my best and only ally, Avery. Will he allow me to go after Williams? Or will he stop me from doing what I know I must?

When the doorbell rings and Avery doesn't appear to answer it, I go myself to the door. Williams is dressed as he was this morning, even has another cigar in his hand. He seems surprised to see me.

"I expected Avery."

"Why?" I counter. "You and I had the appointment, remember?"

He shrugs and pushes by me. "Is he here?"

"Does it make a difference?"

He tries to get into my head, but I don't let him. And I know he can't sense Avery's presence, house "security" would prevent that. Very well. It's probably better if we speak in private anyway.

He leads the way to the living room. With the air of someone very much at home, he crosses to the sideboard opposite the fireplace and reaches underneath for gla.s.ses and a decanter. He raises a gla.s.s in my direction. "Would you care for a drink?"

I shake my head and watch as he pours himself a healthy two fingers. Even at this distance, I can tell what it is by the rich oak smell.

Scotch.

Williams takes a sip and smiles approvingly.Avery always has the best.

He seats himself on the couch, crosses one leg over the other and looks at me.Are you going to sit down or do you plan to hover over me all evening?

I don't plan to do anything with you all evening. Tell me what you've learned.

A little wrinkle of impatience creases his brow.You really must learn to slow down. If you're lucky, you'll live a very, very long time. However if you insist on rushing full speed ahead toward every little problem that presents itself, well, I'm afraid that might prove to be your undoing.

Little problem? I've taken a step toward him. Outrage exudes like sweat from every pore of my body. It's overwhelming, this blind fury, something I've never before experienced, and it scares me.

Williams, however seems unaffected and certainly unafraid. The only reaction to my exhibition of temper is a raised eyebrow.See what I mean? You'll burn yourself out if you continue this way. I've seen it happen.

He's toying with me.

I know it. I should be able to deal with it. But too much has happened to me in the last few days, too many mental and physical changes with no chance to adapt. All the anger, frustration and fear boil to the surface. One moment I'm human, the next, animal.

With no thought except that I want to wipe that smug look off Williams face, I lunge at him, teeth and nails bared.

The ferocity of the attack knocks him off balance. He is not prepared for such a physical reaction. The gla.s.s flies from his hand, and his arms go up to shield his face. But he is older and stronger and when the shock of the unexpected wears off, he begins to fight back.

I know at once I can't win against him. Unlike Donaldson, he is a skilled fighter. He flips me onto my back and I'm pinned under him like an insect on the head of a pin. His lips roll back to expose sharp teeth, one hand is at my jugular.

What did I tell you?He hisses into my head.Impatience will be your undoing.

I look into his eyes. He will kill me,wants to kill me, and I am powerless to save myself.

I close my eyes, lift my chin to proffer the pulsing artery like a gift. I want it over. I can't save David. I can't save myself.

Suddenly, I just want it over.

Chapter Thirty-Two.

Williams's teeth are at my neck. He's snarling and snapping at me, coming closer and pulling away as if wanting to prolong my fear.

Smiling as he enjoys the taste of it.

The smile is what pulls me back. It releases the hold he has on my mind. I can't, I won't, let him kill me. In a last desperate effort to save myself, I gather strength to push against him. But his power is inexorable and relentless. He is an old soul. I understand in a flash that it is centuries of consuming the most essential of all life force-living blood-that gives him this capability. It is what he will use, finally, to kill me.

Unless.

I have Avery's blood coursing through my veins, don't I?

He is a most powerful vampire, older even than Williams. He is the only creature I have fed from. Can I channel his energy for my own use?

I let my body relax for a moment, clear all thoughts out of my head.

Williams senses a change, pulls back a little as if to watch. His eyes narrow, his face feral and dangerous. Then he lunges again, and my instinct tells me he's tired of this game. He's ready for the kill.

But I'm ready, too. My blood is on fire now, my thoughts centered. I parry his thrust, get an arm between his face and my neck and push.

He flies off me and crashes into the coffee table. The splintering of wood and breaking of gla.s.s is lost in the howl of rage that escapes his lips. He pulls himself upright, all vestiges of humanity gone. I'm facing the animal now, too, and for a split second, terror is all I have.

But I recover quickly. I remember how it was with Lawson, how the vampire can swallow up the human, and I let it happen. I face Williams if not as an equal, then as the more desperate. I have nothing to lose, no inhibition about attacking a mortal to hinder me the way it did with Lawson. This will be a fight to the death. I use that realization to propel me forward.

When our bodies. .h.i.t, it's with the force of a head-on collision between two semis. I dig my heels in and push him backward, for the first time cognizant of the fact that I might be stronger. He fights against it, but I don't let up. I want him on the ground, beneath me, subject to the same fear I felt moments before. I let him read that in my mind, see the flash of understanding bloom in his eyes. He knows I can do it. He knows I've fed from Avery.

But there's no fear. Only a sense of betrayal and regret that's quickly swallowed up by angry resolve. He has more reason than ever to want me dead.

Why? I back him into the stone hearth of the fireplace.Why do you want me dead?

He tries to shake me off. When he can't, he snarls at me like a wild dog.You are a threat.

A threat to what?

He continues to fight against me, but I have my arm across his jugular and the pressure is beginning to take its toll. His eyes roll back, his mind becomes a black void.

I loosen my grip, shake his shoulders.No. Stay with me. Tell me what I want to know .Williams eyes clear, his gaze refocuses.I can't help you.

I shake him again.What about David? Who has him?

His mind closes. It triggers another flash of rage deep inside me. I throw him onto the rug, pin him as he did me. But I don't tease. I rip into the soft skin at his jugular and drink.

An intoxicating, heady rush of explosive color and sound and emotion rips into me. Different from Avery, but the same. Not s.e.xual, but basic. Williams's life experience, his memories, his history, are all there for the taking. And I do take it all. I let it flow into and through me. I crawl into his mind and nest there. I strain his thoughts like flour through a sifter until I find what I need to know.

Only then do I stop feeding.

He does not have David. He doesn't know who does.

I pull back and shake his shoulders to get his attention. He has long since stopped fighting me. His mind is open, lethargic. I read something I don't expect. His acceptance of death.You want me to finish it?

He opens his eyes.You are the stronger. Do what you will.

Again, I'm caught off guard.I don't understand. You have lived for centuries. You are ready now to die?

I am ready to accept your will.

He speaks as if in prayer to a deity. Something in his tone, in his complete acquiescence rocks me.Why do you say that?

He reaches up a hand and grasps me behind the back of my neck, gently pulling me toward him. His voice is a whisper in my ear.You have the power now. Finish it .

I recoil as if hit, rearing back to search his face.What do you mean?

He nods, smiling, a sad, sweet smile.Avery was right. You are the one.

The one?

Ask him.