Accidentally On Purpose Part 23

One moment I was standing beside the bed and the next I was pinned down on it, Kyle's face in mine.

"Why are you trying to f.u.c.king hurt me!" He roared. "Are you satisfied now?"

When I didn't answer, he started violently shaking me, repeating the question.

"Get off of me!" I tried to push him off, starting a struggle.

Kyle was crazy with rage, obviously not thinking clearly as he fought with me. My wrist erupted in pain. I cried out, begging him to stop, but it took a moment for him to register that I was hurt. He jumped off of me, staring in disbelief as I held onto my wrist, crying.

My wrist was fractured. Kyle tried to follow me into a cab to the emergency room, but I screamed at him with such vehemence, he backed off.

I told the doctors I fell. I don't think they believed me, but they couldn't do anything about it if I didn't tell the truth. I realized this was part of a cycle of abuse, which scared the h.e.l.l out of me. Was Kyle going to hurt me again, and if so, would I cover for him again?

In the time I've been with him, he's gotten a little rough during arguments, but for my part, so have I, but was this just the beginning? Would it escalate?

When I returned to the hotel, Kyle was tearfully apologizing the second he saw the cast on my wrist.

"I didn't mean it," he insisted, and I believed him.

"I know," I said quietly. I let him hold me for a minute and even kissed him back when he put his lips on mine.

Love, I decided on the plane ride home, can make people crazy. Love can make us do things we never meant to do. Kyle wasn't trying to hurt me when he broke my wrist. I wasn't trying to hurt Luke when he was around, and surely I never meant to find myself in this position in the first place. It happened accidentally on purpose - my heart accidentally started loving two men, but I purposely (and stupidly) acted on it instead of walking away from one of them.

Love can also borderline obsession and lunacy. Kyle was obsessed with me even though he had no right to be, and I was crazy to stay with him, even though I had no right to do so. The whole situation was craziness, and Leo was right. As long as I allowed things to proceed this way, the circ.u.mstances would remain the same.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Fall pressed on, as did my scandalous, dysfunctional relationship with Kyle. As I predicted, our busy season turned into the busiest ever, but I was able to hire two a.s.sistants and three temps, greatly reducing the stress and turmoil that would have been. This was especially helpful due to the fact that I was in a cast for five weeks.

More and more of Kyle's time was being sucked up by the succubus Jess. Where I used to be patient and not complain (much), my patience was now as thin as thread.

"What time do you think you will be over next Thursday?" I asked Kyle in the elevator one night after work. It was a week before Thanksgiving and I had a grand meal planned for us.

"Uh..." He said with a guilty look on his face. "I thought you were going to go visit your family in Louisiana."

"I never said that," I was sure that I not only didn't say it, but never even implied it.

"I'm sorry. I just a.s.sumed..."

The elevator doors slid open on the ground floor. I waited until we were outside, beyond earshot of the security guards before speaking again.

"So, you made an a.s.sumption and then made other plans with Jess," I said, making an a.s.sumption of my own.

"I honestly believed you were going down south."

I took a deep breath, trying not to go ballistic. "So, fit me into your day somewhere. Maybe you can come over at the end of the night?"

He winced, and I knew he wasn't going to be able to fit me in.

"I'm leaving Wednesday afternoon for Fiji."

"Fiji." I gaped at him. "With Jess."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," he reached for me, but I took a step back.

"That's why you asked me to keep your schedule open Wednesday," I said accusingly. "If I didn't ask, would you have told me about Fiji?"

"I guess so," he shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. It doesn't mean anything. It was her idea..." He stopped talking, probably realizing how ridiculous he sounded.

"Yeah, okay," I said, taking another step back. "You enjoy your f.u.c.king trip to Fiji." I was supposed to be walking with Kyle to his car in the garage, but I turned in the opposite direction and stepped to the curb to hail a cab.

"Em, wait," he rushed over as a cab pulled up.

"Stop telling me to wait!" I yelled and stomped my foot, halting him. I opened the door, and before climbing in I said "Don't talk to me. Don't call me, don't text me, don't come over."

"Throwing a f.u.c.king temper tantrum isn't helping anything," he snapped. "You make this harder than it has to be."

I wanted to punch him, but instead I slammed the cab door and didn't even turn to look at him when we pulled away and zoomed down the street.

"You look like h.e.l.l," my mom said a couple of days later. After my last falling out with Kyle, I decided to take a vacation, beginning immediately.

I had let myself into his office in the middle of the morning, wearing jeans and a tee shirt instead of my usual business attire.

"We're still in the busy season," he had argued.

"I don't really care," I shrugged. "You can either sign off on it or fire me."

"You're over reacting."

"I'm under reacting, trust me. Are you going to sign it or not?"

"No. We're too busy, and today is not a casual day, so I suggest you go find something work-appropriate to wear." He went back to his work, dismissing me.

I left his office, slamming the door behind me. Everyone looked up at me. I forced a smile and strolled out of the office. When I didn't return that day, Kyle sent me a text.

I signed off on your vacation, brat.

The next morning, I was standing in front of the family home in Louisiana, facing my mother, already ready to tape her mouth shut.

She stood on the porch, in a powder blue dress, wearing an ap.r.o.n and drying her hands on a dish towel. She looked as beautiful as ever, which made me a little sick.

"Do you think you can prescribe me some valium?" I asked my brother-in-law, Eric, a successful ob-gyn in a nearby town. He was the one who fetched me from the airport.

"If I have to deal with her drug-free, so do you." He carried my bags into the house.

"Come up here and give your mother a hug, girl."

Several children appeared out of nowhere, screaming and laughing. They were playing some kind of get away game, oblivious to the fact that I was there, running around me, b.u.mping into me and yelling close to my ear.

"Hey!" Mom pointed at them with the dish towel. "Don't you kids see your Aunt Em trying to get into the d.a.m.n house? Get the h.e.l.l out of the way."

The kids took off across the yard, several yelling "get the h.e.l.l out of the way!"

I didn't pay attention to whose kids they were. My family is enormous. I am one of five children, I have fourteen nieces and nephews with one on the way, and some of my nieces and nephews have children. Then there were my mother's siblings and their kids and grandkids and great grandkids, and various friends and their families that were adopted into our family, like my brother in-law Eric. His family and my family go way back. Way, way back.

My mom and his mom were best friends growing up, despite what people thought about a white woman befriending a black woman. My oldest sister Lucille and Eric were born only a few days apart, started dating in their senior year in high school and married a year later. His family and extended family became our family, and Lucy and Eric made a family of their own. And then there's Tabitha and Mayson's families from my dad's side.

"Mom, stop cursing at the children," I said as I climbed the steps. I hugged her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"I missed you, honey," she smiled, and held me at arm's length so she could check me out. "You put on a little weight, didn't ya."

Actually, I had, and I didn't understand how or why. I was definitely thicker in the waist, but I didn't need my mom calling me out on it.

"What is that on your wrist?" My sister, Charlotte demanded as she stepped outside.

I mentally punched myself in the face for not taking off the bracelet Kyle gave me. I couldn't tell them he gave it to me and why. I'm sure they wouldn't believe the "I fell down" story. I'm not even sure Mayson believed it, but I didn't have a good lie ready and both Charlotte and my mom were staring me down, waiting for an answer.

"Kyle gave it to me," I sighed. Now my eldest sister Lucy and my two brothers Charlie and Emmet joined us on the porch. They all stared at me as if I had lost my mind, and of course, it was possible.

"What on earth for?" Charlotte asked, sounding a lot like my mom, but my mom met my eyes and I already knew I was caught lying before I started. But if she wasn't going to say anything now, I may as well charge forward.

"I work my a.s.s off, like really really work my a.s.s off." I said, which was true, but not true to the question asked. work my a.s.s off." I said, which was true, but not true to the question asked.

"Didn't you say he was a d.i.c.k?" Lucy asked, confused.

"Well, I guess he was making up for that, too." I shrugged.

Lucy held up my arm, turning it back and forth, causing the bracelet to sparkle in the sunlight.

"Are those real diamonds? This thing must be worth thousands."

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Mom snapped. "Can your sister get the h.e.l.l in the house sometime this year this year?" She pushed Lucy out of the way and opened the door for me.

"Thanks," I said to her and stepped inside to greet more family.

I made a mental note to take off the bracelet, and soon.

I had a long day, traveling and then reacquainting myself with my family, meeting new babies and spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends. Eric's mom, Allie Mae and my mom made the best dinner I've had since my last visit, well over a year ago. Even when I was past stuffed, I kept nibbling. By the time I waddled to my bedroom, I was sleepy beyond all that was reasonable, but I've been that way for a couple of months. I was probably burning out.

I lay in bed looking at the bracelet on my wrist, thinking about the night I got it.

I have something for you," Kyle had said the night the cast came off.

We were at The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was the first night in weeks that we were able to go out for more than a fast food run or diner food. Work had been hectic and Jess had demanded more of his time.

Half way through dinner he slid a small black, velvet box across the table. The box was a little too big to contain a ring, but for about six seconds my hopes were up, and then I remembered the impossibility of such a thing happening anytime in the near future.

"What is it?" I asked, my hand on the box.

"Open it and see," he grinned.

Carefully, I picked it up and opened it. Inside, sat a bracelet of leaves in yellow gold, white gold, and rose gold. On each of the yellow and rose leaves were at least a dozen and a half diamonds (I later looked up the price of the bracelet - it was more than my annual salary).

"Kyle, this is so beautiful," I breathed.

"I want you to know," he said, putting the bracelet on my now healed wrist. "That I will never hurt you again."

I stared at my wrist. I should have been like "aww" but I didn't feel mushy like that. I knew he meant to make up for what he had done, that this was an apology, but that's not how I took it.

"What's wrong?" He asked, reading my face.

"Every time I look at this, I'm going to be reminded that you broke my wrist." I didn't mean to say it, but the words fell out of my mouth anyway.

We sat there, staring at the jewelry on my wrist, the moment ruined.

Chapter Thirty