A Hand-book Of Etiquette For Ladies Part 3

LVI.

Do not (except with a view to improvement) introduce subjects with which you are but superficially acquainted. If you should do so with the idea that all others present are equally or more ignorant than yourself, you may be very disagreeably undeceived, by some quiet, unpresuming person, who may have been listening to the development of your ignorance.

LVII.

Do not use the terms "_genteel people_;" "This, that, or the other, is very _genteel_." Subst.i.tute for them, "They are highly accomplished;"

"he is a gentlemanly man;" "that has a gentlemanly appearance;" "she has the manners of a gentlewoman."

LVIII.

It is not good taste for a lady to say "Yes, Sir," and "No, Sir," to a gentleman, or frequently to introduce the word "Sir" at the end of her sentence, unless she desire to be exceedingly reserved toward the person with whom she is conversing.

LIX.

Do not introduce proverbs and cant phrases; a well educated lady can always find words to express her meaning, without resorting to these.

LX.

Never introduce your own affairs for the amus.e.m.e.nt of the company; such discussions cannot be interesting to others, and the probability is that the most patient listener is laying the foundation for some tale to make you appear ridiculous.

LXI.

It is not contrary to good-breeding to laugh in company, and even to laugh heartily when there is anything amusing going on; this is nothing more than being sociable. To remain prim and precise on such occasions, is sheer affectation. Avoid, however, what is called the "horse-laugh."

LXII.

Never laugh at your own remarks; it may be a very agreeable excitation, but it invariably spoils what you are saying.

LXIII.

If you are a wit, do not let your witty remarks engross the whole conversation, as it wounds the self-love of your hearers, who also wish to be heard, and becomes excessively fatiguing.

LXIV.

Do not address persons by the initial of their names; "Mrs. A. says this;" "Mrs. B. does that;" it is a mark of vulgarity.

VISITS.

LXV.

A lady's visiting card should be of small size, glazed, but not gilt. It should be engraved in script characters, small and neat, not in German text or Old English. Never have your card printed; a written card, though pa.s.sable, is not perfectly _au fait_. If you write them, never first draw a line across the card to guide you,--it betokens ill-breeding.

LXVI.

A morning call should not exceed from a quarter of an hour to twenty minutes in duration; the most proper time for such visits is between eleven and two o'clock; if your friends are people of fashion, from twelve to three will be the best hours.

LXVII.

If the persons called on be not at home, leave a card for each person to whom the visit was designed, or beg the servant to mention that you inquired for so many persons.

LXVIII.

The subjects for conversation should harmonize with the character of your visit, and prevent your introducing a gay conversation, when paying a visit of condolence; or subjects requiring deep thought, upon casual visits or calls of ceremony.

LXIX.

In making friendly calls almost all ceremony should be dispensed with.

They are made at all hours, without much preparation or dressing.

LXX.

Visits of ceremony should be paid after a nearly similar interval has elapsed from when they were made. People in this way give you notice whether they wish to see you seldom or often.

LXXI.

Never display the visiting cards you may receive, by placing them in the frame of your looking-gla.s.s. It is usual to have an ornamental card-basket on the centre table.

LXXII.

If the person you call upon is preparing to go out, or to sit down at table, you ought, although asked to remain, to retire as soon as possible. The person visited so unseasonably, should on her part be careful to conceal her knowledge that the other wishes the visit ended quickly.

LXXIII.

Ceremonious visits should be short; if the conversation ceases without being again continued by the person you have come to see, and if she rises from her seat under any pretext whatever, custom requires you to make your salutation and withdraw. If other visiters are announced, you should leave soon after without saying much. If a letter is brought in, entreat your hostess to read it; she will probably not do so, and this circ.u.mstance will warn you to shorten your visit.

LXXIV.