Yorkshire Tales Volume III Part 2

"Why, Mally la.s.s, what's set thi off agean? Has somdy been sayin at tha doesn't darn thi stockins an keep thi clooas cleean?"

"Noa ther hasn't, an tha knows nubdy could ivver say such a thing abaat me. It's awr Hepsabah at's started me, if tha wants to know!"

"What's shoo been up to agean? Sewerly tha's moor sense not to tak nooatice o' owt shoo says."

"Aw connot help bein worritted when shoo's put abaght, an shoo's full o'

trubble,--an aw connot say at aw wonder at it."

"Why if th' la.s.s is full o' trubble shoo's to be sympathised wi. Has her husband come hooam druffen or what?"

"Tha knows better nor that! Her husband has summat else to do wi his bra.s.s nor to teem it daan his throit. He's net like some fowk as aw could mention. But tha knows they've hard to scrat to pay ther way an keep up his club, an awr Hepsabah has a gooid deeal o' pride, an yond hat o' hers is hardly fit to be seen in at warty, nivver name Sundy, an shoo connot affoord another, an th' poor child's ommost heartbrokken."

"Bless mi life! That's easy to set straight! Connot ta lend her one o'

thy bonnets?"

"Tha artn't worth tawkin to! Does ta think a young la.s.s, (for shoo's little moor,) wod goa to th' chapel in an old woman's bonnet? If shoo'd had lot's o' father's they'd ha bowt her one."

"Happen soa;--but tha sees shoo hasn't a lot o' father's,--shoo's n.o.bbut getten me,--but if buyin her a bit ov a bonnet will set matters straight aw could sewerly manage that."

"Nah tha'rt tawkin sense. Aw tell'd her if shoo'd n.o.bbut ax thi tha'd nooan see her kept i'th haase for th' want ov a hat. But shoo sed tha'd allus been soa gooid to her at shoo couldn't for shame to mention it.

But, tha knows, tha cannot buy her a hat unless shoo gooas wi thi."

"W ell,--tell her to put her things on an we'll goa an get her messured for one at once."

"Tha tawks as if tha wor gooin to get her a coffin asteead ov a hat.

Wimmen dooant get messured for hats."

"Oh, dooant they. Well, tell her to get ready an luk sharp."

Mally left Sammywell smookin his pipe an went to carry gooid news to Hepsabah.

"Nah, Hepsabah la.s.s,--aw've managed to tawk thi father into th' humour to buy thi a hat. A'a! but aw've had a job! Come this minnit for fear he changes his mind; an see tha gets a gooid en wol tha's th' chonce."

Sammywell wor capt to see em back soa sooin, but tellin em to sit daan a bit wol he went up stairs, he left em an went to put summat into his purse, an wor rayther surprised at Mally didn't follow to see ha mich he tuk, for he had to goa into a box whear they kept ther savins at wor nivver suppooased to be touched except on special occasions.

"Aw shalln't need mich for a job o' this sooart," he sed, "if aw remember reightly that straw hat aw bowt last summer n.o.bbut cost me eighteen pence, an shoo willn't want one as big as that; but awst nooan be to two-a-three penoth o' copper; an aw mud as weel have a bit extra to swagger wi." Soa he tuk a couple o' soverins,--ov coa.r.s.e intendin to bring em back, an then hurried off wi Hepsabah as fast as he could for fear Mally wod ax some questions he didn't want to answer.

"Whear are we to goa?" he axt as soon as they wor aght o'th seet o'th haase.

"Aw think Pinchems an Twitchems will be th' best place," sed Hepsabah.

"Just whearivver tha likes, an be sewer tha gets one to suit thi."

When they gate to th' shop, Sammywell felt like holdin back, for he'd nivver been i' sich a place befoor, but he screwed his courage up, an tellin' Hepsabah to lead th' way he follered, feelin like a fish aght o'

watter.

Hepsabah walked in as if shoo owned th' shop, an spaikin to a gentleman, they wor shown up stairs whear ther wor sich a lot o' wimmin tryin hats on, an sich a lot o' young la.s.ses fussin abaat an attendin to em, wol Sammywell wor fairly flammergasted amang it. One nice young woman browt him a cheer to sit on, but he darn't ventur 'on it, for it lukt as if it wor made o' black sealin wax, but Hepsabah flopt daan on it as if shoo'd been used to sittin o' sich articles all her life. Sammywell whispered to her to be as sharp as shoo could, an stood watchin what wor gooin on.

Then th' young woman coom agean wi her armful o' what lukt to be flaars an feathers an ribbins all jumbled in a lump, but which proved to be what they called hats, an as shoo put furst one an then another on to Hepsabah, he wor fairly surprised to discover what a bonny lukkin woman his dowter wor; an when shoo axt him which he liked best, he could n.o.bbut say, "onny on em! suit thisen, la.s.s!" an th' young woman smiled at him an sed, "It's nice when a gentleman likes to see his wife well dressed," an Sammywell blushed an sed "Hem! hem!" but didn't undeceive her. After tryin on abaat a scoor, nooan seemin to exactly suit Hepsabah, th' young woman browt another, an Sammywell's e'en fairly sparkled. "By th' heart!" he sed, "but that's what aw call a Bobby Dazzler!" an it wor plain to be seen at Hepsabah thowt soa too. "Aw should like it," shoo sed, "but awm feeared it'll cost a lot."

"Tha's nowt to do wi that. It's me at's to pay for it!" soa in a few minnits it wor packt in a box, an handed to her, an Sammywell tell'd her to tak it an get aghtside an wait for him an he'd bi wi her as sooin as he'd sattled for it. Hepsabah's face wor all smiles, tho' ther wor just a glisten o' tears in her een as shoo went away.

"An nah, young woman," sed Sammywell, as he held his purse in his hand, "ha mich do yo want?"

Shoo handed him th' bill, but he seemed as if he couldn't mak it aght, soa he put on his spectacles. "This is a mistak, Miss," he sed, "aw've n.o.bbut agreed to pay for one."

"That's quite right, sir," shoo sed, "One hat,--twenty two and six."

"Twenty two fiddlesticks!"

"No, sir, twenty two shillings and six pence. That's not much for a gentleman to pay for his wife's hat."

"But shoo isn't mi wife! Shoo's n.o.bbut mi dowter!"

"No one would think you had a daughter so old;--you must have married very young," sed th' young woman smilin at him in a way at made him feel funny all ovver.

He sed noa moor but handed her two soverins; shoo gave him his change, an he made th' best ov his way into th' street where Hepsabah wor waitin for him; then he lained his back agean a lamp-pooast as if he wor too waik to stand.

"Do yo feel sick, father?" sed Hepsabah.

"Eeah, aw think aw've getten a bit ov a sickener."

"It wor varry warm i' that shop."

"Eeah,--its th' hottest shop aw've ivver been in."

"Yo see, yo arn't used to buyin hats."

"Noa, an awm net likely to get used to it. Aw hooap thar't suited."

"O, father,--its a beauty! If aw can n.o.bbut get my chap to buy me a costume to match it!"

"Tha'll nivver do that, Hepsabah, becoss he connot. If he'd to buy thee a costoom, as tha calls it, to match that, an pay for it at th' same rate as aw've paid for that hat, it ud cost him aboon a thaasand paand!

What does to think it's cost me?"

"Aw can't guess."

"Twenty two shillin an sixpence! That's true whether tha believes it or net."

"Is that all! Why its as cheap as muck."

"Well, mak th' best on it, for tha'll get noa moor muck at th' same price aght o' me. But promise me at tha'll nivver tell thi mother! If shoo'd to get to know shoo wodn't be able to sleep for a wick. It's a scandlus shame, an aw've been swindled! Why, tha owt to ha getten a hat as big as a umbrella for that price."

"Well, if yo hadn't wanted me to have it yo shouldn't ha sed soa."

"Aw did want thi to have it, but it's price aw connot get ovver. Why it weighs nowt hardly. Its cost aboon five shillin an aance. Thee goa in an show it to thi mother an aw'll goa an get summat to steady mi narves."

Sammywell tried to keep his spirits up wi puttin some spirits daan, but he couldn't manage it, an it wor wi fear an tremblin at he lifted th'

sneck when he went hooam. All lukt breet an cheerful an th' supper wor on th' table, an Mally's face showed noa sign o' ill temper. "Thank gooidness," he sed to hissen, "shoo hasn't been upstairs to caant th'

bra.s.s yet."