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Every time I look in a mirror, I wonder what it means to be beautiful.
My mother was beautiful.
That was why men tried to woo her nearly every day.
She looked really worn out just before she died, but for me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
When I blink, the woman in the mirror blinks in the same way.
When I tilt my head, she also tilts her head.
Her black hair, which had just been tied up, swayed and her blue eyes stared back at me.
I certainly inherited mother's features.
But I wasn't beautiful.
My mother was gorgeous, but I, who looked like her, wasn't beautiful at all.
What's different?
To begin with, what does it mean to be beautiful?
How does someone judge this?
I was disgusted with staring at the gloomy woman in the mirror and turned away.
There was a wasted gorgeous room behind me, and the interior was decorated with items that a rich, young woman would probably like, but looking at it made me feel restless.
To be clear, it wasn't my cup of tea.
I was the one who had chosen the furniture, wallpaper and curtains, so I couldn't complain to anyone. But, I think I made it too flashy every time I look at it calmly like this.
It is probably because of this design that I wake up every morning feeling like I'm in a room I don't recognise.
I inhaled the aroma of the sweet roses that filled the room while regretting that there was nothing I could do about it now.
At first, the aroma made my head hurt, but my nose is probably paralysed to this smell now, so I don't feel uncomfortable anymore.
Humans are beings who get used to things.
Even on days when I continue to wear my mask. Even if people ridicule me. Even if they look at me coldly. Like the pungent aroma of roses, I will get used to it all.
"I don't like it. Do it again."
I sighed on purpose and glanced at the maid through the mirror.
To be more precise, I glared at her. It was not a friendly gaze.
The young maid, who was doing my hair, shuddered and stared frighteningly back at the gloomy woman in the mirror.
"Mmadam…"
There were adorable freckles on her face, and her red hair shook above her shoulders.
The maid, ――― Claire, was bewildered, and I knew what she wanted to say, but I deliberately asked coldly, "What?"
That alone caused Claire to shrink back, and she couldn't say anything else.
But I knew that she wanted to say, "This is the fifth time I'm re-doing your hair. Can you tell me what the heck you don't like?"
Truthfully, from what I could see, the way Claire did my hair is perfect, and I wanted to applaud her.
Claire is skilful, and she could quickly do any hairdo, even if it were from an old trend or new trend.
I'm envious of how good she was with her hands since I'm clumsy and can't even embroider.
In other words, it wasn't her fault that I was ordering her to re-do the hairdos.
She did my hair exactly as I asked it to be done, but I purposely asked her to do it again.
For irrational reasons like 'I just don't like it'.
"Didn't you hear me? I told you to do it again. Hurry up, nitwit."
"Y-yes. I'm sorry, Madam."
She bit her lips, looked down and untangled the hair-do that took her ages to put up.
I was driven by the urge of wanting to hold her thin hands and apologise, but I held it down and stared at her with stern eyes.
I stared at the mirror again, and this time, I gazed at the flaxen-haired maid who was standing in the corner of the room. She was older than Claire and had a calm aura.
"Lene, let's stop this. Bring me the sapphire necklace I bought the other day. And replace the hair ornaments. The pearl hairpin will do."
"Certainly."
Lene didn't disobey me. She bowed slowly and went to get the jewellery.
She is a servant who had started working here three months ago. Her expression never changed, no matter what I did or how selfish I was. She responds indifferently and is a calm woman.
She never gets agitated no matter what I do or say. She is very patient.
――― Why?
I gazed at Claire, who had magnificently handled my hair, and was touched.
Claire aside, Lene really puts up with it and serves a woman like me.
There shouldn't be many despicable masters like me in the capital.
Generally, getting ready for about an hour in the mornings, ――― or should I say just after noon, ――― has made me lose my senses.
I heard that separated ladies take an hour to get ready so I copied them and ended up regretting it. Every morning, I'm painfully aware of how long an hour is.
If I don't change clothes numerous times, re-do my hair a lot and change my jewellery, then the time wouldn't pa.s.s.
However, putting on makeup and dressing up didn't make me beautiful, so no one praised me.
I was only wasting my precious time in the mornings.
Because I'm always like this, the maid, who had served me before Lene, quit and said she had to go and take care of her parents.
Claire knew of my situation, so that was probably why she put up with me, but Lene worked here for three months without knowing anything, so I would like to ask her why she's still working for me.
"You can't even do my hair the way I want it done. Why are you this useless? The morning's tea wasn't good, and I don't like the way you wake me up. The maid who was working here before you was much better. I didn't like how she looked, but she was a fast worker." I complained to Claire while Lene was looking for jewellery. I didn't have to say those things but saying it would make me seem more disgusting.
"I'm sorry, Madam."
"All you do is apologise. You're not progressing at all. Are you really reflecting on this? I can fire you and hire a new maid, you know?"
I was astonished that I could say such awful things and clenched my fist in my mind.
Claire looked a little surprised, and then she immediately looked sad and shocked.
"You shouldn't say that, Madam."
"Madam, I've brought what you wanted."
As if Lene couldn't tell that Claire was turning pale and shuddering, she brought the jewellery as if to stop the conversation.
Her action, which casually protected her colleague, deserved respect. This was a testament to her excellent abilities as a servant.
"You're slow," I complained as I looked at the necklace that Lene had brought.
The sapphire which sways in the centre was glistening mysteriously and was surrounded by diamonds. It was a piece of art that drew people in.
I nearly sighed because of its beauty, but I swallowed it down. I said more selfish things and put Lene on the spot, "What's this? Was this necklace this heavy? This silver necklace is over the top and doesn't suit this dress at all. Bring me some other necklaces."
Lene nodded blankly. She took out necklaces from the jewellery box and brought it to me.
However, I would say that I didn't like any of them and sighed pretentiously. Then, I rested my chin on the dresser as if I was dejected.
After thinking a little, I said as if I'd just come up with an idea, "I'm going out to buy jewellery to match this dress. I'll go out after lunch, so get the carriage ready."
Lene and Claire looked at each other. Their faces said, "What is she thinking?"
"Madam, you just bought this necklace the other day…"
"So what?"
I had expected this reaction, and I scowled at them unpleasantly.
Claire turned away awkwardly, and Lene closed her gaping mouth.
The sapphire necklace that Lene had brought me was costly, and the price was enough to buy decent land on the outskirts of the capital.
Furthermore, I had only bought it five days ago.
They probably couldn't believe that I was going to buy another piece of jewellery after having just made an expensive purchase.
But I was still on the soft side. The ladies, who are crazy about jewellery, try to purchase expensive jewellery by taking out ma.s.sive loans.
This House was rolling in money, so this amount of wastefulness wouldn't make a dent in the finances. Also, despite how I act, I accurately calculate how much I could spend while shopping.
It would be distressing if my wasteful spending greatly affected the finances of this House.
"I want to buy something because there's nothing I like! I don't like any of these necklaces! I don't like them! I want a new one! Anyhow, it doesn't matter what you two say. I'll go out after I have lunch and rest for a bit!"
"… Understood."
When I throw tantrums, the two would quickly lower their heads and sigh quietly.
Nabel, the capital of the Kingdom of Valkenburg.
Otto Street, named after the founding King, is lined with old brick buildings and trees and was filled with high-end shops used by the upper echelons of society.
The stone pavement was packed with two-horse drawn carriages and dressed up gentlemen and ladies. This street had a quieter atmosphere compared to the other streets.
There were a large number of tailors and jewellery shops on this street. A carriage ran through this street, which was also known as the birthplace of Valkenburg fashion, and stopped in front of one of the shops.
The name on the floating signboard engraved with gold letters was Charmes Mondt.
It was a famous tailor shop led by Lady Bernhard, a female designer who is currently the hot topic in high society, and they have produced several well-known designers.
Charmes Mondt didn't just sell dresses; they also sold shoes, accessories, costly jewellery and perfumes to match with clothes. This store provided an array of products.
Incidentally, the sapphire necklace I'd bought the other day was also from here.
When I got off the carriage, I received glances from all the gentlemen and ladies on the street.
They probably saw the Rosenstein crest on the carriage and was curious about who would come out.
They secretly started gossiping as soon as they saw me, but I pretended not to notice this and walked into the shop with my two maids.
Inside, there were a lot of women in colourful dresses, and the sickly perfume aroma that was often a.s.sociated with places like this filled the room.
The customers were talking noisily, but they froze when they saw me, and a hushed silence reigned in the shop.
This also happened often, so I warded off the glances and a calm and well-dressed, cla.s.sy old gentleman appeared from the back of the shop.
"Well, well, Lady Rosenstein!"
"How do you do, Bauer?"
The man who was smiling broadly as soon as he saw me is Klaus Bauer, the owner of Charmes Mondt.
The owner, who I was acquainted with, gave me a brief greeting before showing me to the back of the shop where he'd just came out of moments ago.
"Please come to the back. We'll talk about what you need in the reception office."
Charmes Mondt had several private reception offices for their top customers.
The one that Bauer showed me to was one of those offices.
The floor was made from amber oak wood and looked perfect with the white-based furniture.
There was a large vase by the wall, and it was filled with crimson roses and white-breathes; it was so vivid that it was dazzling.
I sat down on the white leather chair, and a blonde beauty appeared with tea.
The beauty was wearing a stylish dress and made me think that she was a lady from some House.
The shop clerks in this shop are also elegant.
The beauty bowed and stood in the corner of the room. We talked a little, and then Bauer brought up the topic, "What item are you looking for today?"
"I want a necklace. Something in sapphire or blue diamond would be nice."
Bauer widened his eyes a little, but soon returned to his friendly smile and said softly, "I'm sure you purchased a sapphire necklace the other day."
"I want one that I can wear during the day, and goes with a light-coloured dress. The other one is a bit heavy. But the blue jewel is nice," I said as childishly as possible.
I made myself look as if I wasn't smart, and just wanted to obtain what I wanted without giving it much thought.
"Alright. I will have some prepared right now, so please wait a moment."
Bauer looked at the beauty, and she left the room.
I took a sip of my tea as I sunk deeper into the comfortable chair and leaned back. Then, I looked at the roses and white-breathes in the corner of the room.
I actually don't want dresses or jewellery.
I wasn't beautiful, and they couldn't make me beautiful, so they were just meaningless things to me.
No one would look at me even if I dressed up, and no one would be pleased to see me dress up.
That wasn't why I wasn't wasteful in the first place.
I buy dresses and jewellery to devalue myself when I wear them.
――― How stupid.
I sometimes think that even though I'm doing something that I need to do. Why am I doing something so stupid and meaningless?
But, I'm planning to sell them for cash one day.
――― I actually don't want to do this. Shopping wasn't fun at all.
I wonder what kind of face Lene would make if I told her this.
Would she be surprised if I repeated something confusingly selfish?
I thought depressingly and the owner and clerk came back with several jewellery boxes.
From Bauer's proud look, I could tell that he was trying to sell me something costly again, ――― or he was trying to sell me the best selection of jewellery.
"I have brought what you wanted. I want you to look at this first," he said as he took out a magnificent and extravagant necklace with a large drop of sapphire and blue diamond inlays around the edge.
It glistened brightly because of the light coming in from the window, and it was more magnificent than mysterious. It was so beautiful that I was hesitant to touch it.
"This is a star sapphire necklace."
"It's beautiful."
I honestly thought so, but this wasn't something I could wear during the day; this necklace was probably made for evening parties.
I wanted a necklace that I could also wear during the day, but the owner was working hard to sell it, so I listened quietly.
"This is the pride of our shop. I have run this shop for a long time, but I have never seen such a splendid necklace. This is the highest quality star sapphire. Lady Rosenstein's stunning blue eyes suit any type of jewellery."
"Thanks. So, how much is it?" I lightly brushed off his compliments and asked for the price.
And, the price which he stated made me freeze, "Four million marcas."
I almost fainted, but I heard the two behind me gasp, so I managed to bear with it.
The necklace that I bought the other day was five million marcas.
Even though the price was lower than that necklace, it was still a ridiculous price.
When the bill arrives, both my husband and the butler will probably lecture me.
But, I had no choice but to buy it.
Or more like, the two behind me will be suspicious if I don't buy it.
I have always bought the items that the owner recommends.
Countess Rosenstein, who was selfish, arrogant, and did whatever she wanted, must buy whatever she wanted without thinking about it.
"Then I'll buy it."
――― My voice was trembling not because of fear, but because I was happy.
If Lene asks me why I was trembling, that would be how I would answer.
"Thank you very much. I knew you would buy it, Lady Rosenstein. You have good eyes."
"It's because you recommend good things. I'm always grateful, Bauer."
Bauer grinned widely and instructed the clerk to wrap up the necklace.
Meanwhile, cold sweat was dripping down my back.
I held my hands together so that they wouldn't notice the trembling of my fingertips.
――― It's okay. I should still be able to sell it for a reasonable price even if a few days have pa.s.sed if it's just this.
If it's not enough, then I can compensate him with the money I make from investments. It'll work out somehow.
"I've also prepared other sapphire and blue diamond necklaces for you, so please have a look at them," Bauer said as if he was delivering the final blow.
I would typically nod because that was what I wanted, but I don't want to see any more jewellery today.
I would feel sick if I look at any more jewellery, and I would probably go crazy because of anxiety.
However, I wouldn't be a spendthrift if I don't buy anything else.
Then, I said this to Bauer, "I've already had enough of necklaces. I want more hair ornaments. And a hat. I'd like a straw hat. One with a cool colour. Do you have any new designs?"
This is still cheaper than jewellery, and I would still seem moody if I change my mind on what I want.
I feel bad for Bauer who brought me all this jewellery, but he was used to my whims, so it was fine.
"Yes, Lady Rosenstein. I'll go prepare those right away."
Bauer smiled as I expected he would, and he arranged so many items on the table that it looked like it would overflow.
In the end, I bought a terribly expensive necklace, three relatively cheap hair ornaments and two hats for summer before leaving the shop.
The owner looked pleased with himself and Lene, and Claire looked as if they had mixed feelings. I couldn't tell whether they were tired or stunned.
Translator: Blushy
Editor: Delishnoodles