How To Be A Good Mortal Father To Your Demon Kids 13 The 300 Million Year Old Eunuch

Worst case scenario, he discovers Weizhi is a demon and freaks out exposing us to the world.

Then the government would show up in tanks and a helicopter, dragging us away for testing and of course dissection, then Lucifer would be furious and declare war on humanity starting the apocalypse, bringing with him the wrath of h.e.l.l and of course heaven probably won't be too thrilled so they'll join in the fight too and a war of worlds would begin all because I left my kid in the hands of an incompetent gamer!

"What are you thinking about, boy?" Lucifer asked in his least condescending voice

"Nothing I'm just worried about leaving Weizhi alone..."

"Ah, I remember that feeling I had to leave Yu Yang to conquer the Fifth dimension I was gone for a whole ten minutes I was so worried."

"..."

"But you must toughen it out especially if it's for a good cause. You'll get back in no time,"

"Dark lord you are surprisingly kind..."

"Do not get used to it, I can still throw you to Minos without batting an eye then I'll just tell Yu Yang you tragically died choking on a peanut," he growled yellow goat eyes glowing

"Of course Grandmaster of darkness, what was I thinking you're the true embodiment of cruelty and all this world's evils..."

"Is this my scary demon lord of a brother, my my...how you've changed," someone said from behind us turning around I was met with an adorable looking youth he had big grey eyes and really curly golden hair and six ma.s.sive wings that looked so fluffy ah, an angel for sure. I had met an angel...

Wait...brother?!

Looking at the two that felt like a lie.

One was a walking doll and the other a scientific mistake that haunted the very sanity of the universe,

How, could they be brothers?!

"I'll treat the boy how I want Michael and why are you here?"

"Believe me I didn't want to come to this dump Uriel dragged me here."

"Hey, that's what happened to me!" I chipped reminding them of now my long forgotten existence

"Quiet mortal, higher beings are talking." He said sounding all high and mighty flicking his hair like a teenage diva in a teen drama but for a being who was supposedly all powerful, he was really short.

I'm a little taller than most but this guy didn't even make it to my chest which is saying a lot since those shoes looked like they had really high heels...

"Where is Uriel anyway?"

"Nursery, we just came here to drop off the gifts you demanded, Father is still working on the pet."

Lucifer snickered.

"I started the war that nearly destroyed the heavens and I am still the favourite son, sorry little brother," he laughed.

"Whatever..." Michael mumbled.

So even angels felt jealousy... I patted his head as comfort he had very soft hair like a feather duster.

"Do not worry I'm sure your father loves you too," I ruffled his hair like a kind older brother while his face turned purple in rage

"You pathetic mortal! You dare pet the General of Heaven's army!" he hissed slapping my hand away oddly resembling a vexed kitten it was really hard to take him seriously when he was shorter than some middle schoolers...

is face turned red and that hair caught fire...yes it actually caught fire ma.s.sive red flames that engulfed his whole head he looked more demon than angel and I was very concerned but Lucifer just watched him like a bored old man

"Relax Michael, it's not his fault you look like a kid."

"At least I don't look like a horror movie reject," the face in the flames hissed as the fire spread to his wings, sparks flying everywhere, it seemed hazardous to be around him so I took a few steps back not wanting to be roasted, it was the smart thing to do.

"I look divine," Lucifer said with flexing his arms with an air of pride that didn't match his current looks at all, honestly if I was that proud of looking like the cursed lovechild of a goat and a pro wrestler I'd join the Miss Universe pageant and win.

Honestly, the whole world could benefit from some of that self-confidence.

"Lucifer, you have either very special eyes or a very misleading mirror..." Michael grumbled and I walked ahead trying to ignore the politics of mortal souls sandwiched in the twisted brother complex of those two

I made my way to the nursery where nurse Chu was barricading the area around them with sacks of sand with a dark very goth looking man standing nearby...was this the other angel?

Uriel?

He didn't look like one.

Michael had been in white, red and gold with that cute angry kitten look going for him but this guy was in all black robes with wild hair that was somehow floating in the air even though there was no wind and he was wearing a lot of jewellery, a ring on all fingers, four bangles, a thin chain...he was a very flashy guy and having met two of his brothers that stuff he was wearing were probably actual gold.

his only weird feature aside from the floating hair was the third yellow eye on his forehead which was currently looking at me like I was the dirt beneath his feet...

"You must be my uncle in law!" I said in greeting

He didn't respond turning his head away from me the air getting colder around the guy

"Sir, please control your emotions he nursery must maintain a perfect 26°C,"

He grunted in response turning to leave just as Lucifer and Michael came in and suddenly his whole personality changed gone was the stoic emo replaced by the adoring little brother with sparkling eyes...the gap was a bit unrealistic

"Lucifer, did you like the bow?" he asked excited the once dead eyes now bright with life

"Of course I did, not staying for the hatching?" He said petting the floating air like the kind older brother

"No, I'm making the place cold," he pouted, a grown man pouting to his older brother...what was this image? it did not fit their personalities and status as all-powerful Lords of the cosmos...

"Could you two stop it, Uriel, you are three hundred million years old act like it!" Michael hissed

"Brother Michael, you should really pull that stick out off your a.s.s one of these days," Uriel said folding his arms, the emo was back...

"Says the eunuch..." Michael retorted,

"To the virgin," Uriel clapped back

I left the brewing war of the bickering brothers choosing to sit next to nurse Chu hiding behind the sand barricade as she fought the urge to beat the two angels for swearing in the nursery, she understood that she was no match for lucifers brothers and the dark goat lord was too busy laughing his head off to care about the mental development of his grandchildren.

Seeing how uncomfortable she was with the unspeakable words being thrown around I asked if she could drop in to check on Weizhi and my cousin while we waited.

She didn't even hesitate to flee vanishing in a puff of smoke after giving me the most uncomfortable hug of my life, cold tentacles and slime were a horrible combination for a human embrace.

Still, with her watching Weizhi, I'd feel much more comfortable and I could focus on Li Liàng, Li Límíng and Lǐ Xiè lóng

Who would hatch any minute now...