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昨天 by 風弄 Chapter 12
Yesterday by Feng Nong
I cover my eyes with both my hands as if trying to block out all the things that are making me anxious. I desperately hold back the feelings of depression. I force myself to straighten out my thoughts and lift up my head only to alarmingly discover that the world had already changed color. I'm surrounded by a few men that from a glance anyone could tell that they were hired guns. The newspaper seller that was here earlier has long gone to who knows where, leaving the solitary newspaper stand behind. I retreat and terrifyingly b.u.mp into a solid chest. YuJiang! It must be him, I know it definitely must be him! Even if I am to suffer real violence, I still think that I have a few seconds to show my quick wit. At the least, I can publicly announce Rong YuJiang's name to the world in order to leave a pitiful clue to my whereabouts. Who would have guessed that before I could open my mouth, I feel an itch behind my neck. Looks like modern medicine has developed to such a degree that in a flash, a person can be paralyzed, shutting down the brain. I weakly topple over ........
When I open my eyes, a familiar feeling came rushing back. The guest room in Rong mansion. The clear and melodious singing birds outside the window. One can't help but force a smile. There is also the person sitting tenderly and sincerely at the bedside. I stare at him expressionless, but I soon start to laugh. Simply doubling up in laughter. How ironic, that ugly scar on the forehead. Proof of my naivety, proof of his viciousness. YuJiang sits calmly at my bedside with an extremely gentle expression, looking at me as if looking at a spoilt child. It's just too bad that I was once bitten by a snake. However, it has not even been 3 months. Naturally I still remember the excruciating pain.
"Have you laughed enough?" He softly asks. When he used to come visit me in the middle of the night, he also behaved like this, speaking softly to me, his tender and deep voice leading me to my dreams. I slowly stop laughing, awkwardly as if I took some medication to control my sickness. Not at all natural. The phone at the bedside has been replaced with one of the same color.
I'm unwilling to look at YuJiang. With each glance my heart would ache like crazy. So sincerely falling in love, why is it only a sham? What if it was real? ShengSheng, even if it was real, what would you do? Not wanting to think of that possibility, I turn around and look at the bedside phone. Could there be another listening device in there? Perhaps every guest that stays in the guest room of the Rong mansion will have him sitting calmly at the bedside, will be subject to his seemingly gently caressing gaze, will listen to his voice that crushes the heart.
"ShengSheng ......... " YuJiang leans forward and stretches out his hand. I am extremely terrified, after having discovered oneself successfully toyed with, like a prey in his palm. I scramble and recoil my whole body. I tremble with fear looking at his shadow, as if looking at the rising of the devil. I plan to conserve my energy, to store enough strength to give him one swift kick. Except that he only leaned forward to tuck me in and leaned back. I find it hard to believe, my eyes opening even wider, looking at him. He asks uncertainly: "What is it?" I turn my face away. Hmph, it's only an old trick. Allowing more freedom first before keeping a tighter rein later, using an attack as a mean of defense. As expected my jaw suddenly felt hot. YuJiang twists my face and we silently face each other. His indignant breath on my face. "ShengSheng. You've changed." Tender feelings like water. I suddenly think of laughing out loud. How laughable. I've changed, apparently the one that changed is me. My laughter choked at the top of my throat, changing into a mournful whimper.
"That's right, I've changed." I can only admit. Isn't it so? From start to finish, YuJiang is still the same person. It's me that blinded my eyes, and read him wrongly. YuJiang asked:
"What is it? ShengSheng, are you not happy? I have finally obtained Rong enterprise, isn't this what you've always wanted?" What can I possibly say? He added innocently: "You always wished that I would gain experience and train my compet.i.tive business skills, why then do have such an expression?" I don't even have the right to smile wryly. I can only sneer. That's right, that's right, I'm the one that's wrong. I can only wait for this crafty and ruthless without peer person to suddenly smile derisively and show his true colors. Compared to my expectations, we performed even better, even more brilliant. I ought to throw myself at him and hug him closely and congratulate him endlessly. YuJiang takes my hand in his palm, as he used to do frequently in those days: "ShengSheng, why do you no longer love me? Why did you leave me and ask your father to go against me?" Love? I felt like I was struck, the shock making me restless all over. In that instant my vision blurs and becomes confused, I no longer know where I am. I suddenly fling away his hand and again slap him hard across his face. It's a shame that it didn't smash that hypocritical mask. YuJiang, YuJiang, I really want to see what is inside you, what is under your skin, what is it actually in there? His stunned look is unsightly. I grit and gnash my teeth.
"YuJiang, your most frightful point is that even after you made me reach this point, I still can't utter a single word to refute it, I still can't utter a single bitter complaint." I grind my fine white teeth and softly enunciate markedly: "It really makes me admire you." I bow my head and say: "I really admire you." YuJiang does not stretch out his hand to stroke his own reddened face, as if he didn't feel that slap. Perhaps his mask is too thick, too tough, that my insignificant slap was insufficient to budge it even a little bit. He stands up and looks at me wordlessly. Looking down at me from above, with the manner of an imposing king. How many times have I seen this situation in my dreams. How many times have I dreamed for him to dominate the world, and wake up smiling? Now that I have seen it, where have even a shred of those feelings gone? I am only left shaking in fright, nothing more. In a flash, a hundred years has pa.s.sed. I am only left with bitterness.
Yesterday by Feng Nong
I cover my eyes with both my hands as if trying to block out all the things that are making me anxious. I desperately hold back the feelings of depression. I force myself to straighten out my thoughts and lift up my head only to alarmingly discover that the world had already changed color. I'm surrounded by a few men that from a glance anyone could tell that they were hired guns. The newspaper seller that was here earlier has long gone to who knows where, leaving the solitary newspaper stand behind. I retreat and terrifyingly b.u.mp into a solid chest. YuJiang! It must be him, I know it definitely must be him! Even if I am to suffer real violence, I still think that I have a few seconds to show my quick wit. At the least, I can publicly announce Rong YuJiang's name to the world in order to leave a pitiful clue to my whereabouts. Who would have guessed that before I could open my mouth, I feel an itch behind my neck. Looks like modern medicine has developed to such a degree that in a flash, a person can be paralyzed, shutting down the brain. I weakly topple over ........
When I open my eyes, a familiar feeling came rushing back. The guest room in Rong mansion. The clear and melodious singing birds outside the window. One can't help but force a smile. There is also the person sitting tenderly and sincerely at the bedside. I stare at him expressionless, but I soon start to laugh. Simply doubling up in laughter. How ironic, that ugly scar on the forehead. Proof of my naivety, proof of his viciousness. YuJiang sits calmly at my bedside with an extremely gentle expression, looking at me as if looking at a spoilt child. It's just too bad that I was once bitten by a snake. However, it has not even been 3 months. Naturally I still remember the excruciating pain.
"Have you laughed enough?" He softly asks. When he used to come visit me in the middle of the night, he also behaved like this, speaking softly to me, his tender and deep voice leading me to my dreams. I slowly stop laughing, awkwardly as if I took some medication to control my sickness. Not at all natural. The phone at the bedside has been replaced with one of the same color.
I'm unwilling to look at YuJiang. With each glance my heart would ache like crazy. So sincerely falling in love, why is it only a sham? What if it was real? ShengSheng, even if it was real, what would you do? Not wanting to think of that possibility, I turn around and look at the bedside phone. Could there be another listening device in there? Perhaps every guest that stays in the guest room of the Rong mansion will have him sitting calmly at the bedside, will be subject to his seemingly gently caressing gaze, will listen to his voice that crushes the heart.
"ShengSheng ......... " YuJiang leans forward and stretches out his hand. I am extremely terrified, after having discovered oneself successfully toyed with, like a prey in his palm. I scramble and recoil my whole body. I tremble with fear looking at his shadow, as if looking at the rising of the devil. I plan to conserve my energy, to store enough strength to give him one swift kick. Except that he only leaned forward to tuck me in and leaned back. I find it hard to believe, my eyes opening even wider, looking at him. He asks uncertainly: "What is it?" I turn my face away. Hmph, it's only an old trick. Allowing more freedom first before keeping a tighter rein later, using an attack as a mean of defense. As expected my jaw suddenly felt hot. YuJiang twists my face and we silently face each other. His indignant breath on my face. "ShengSheng. You've changed." Tender feelings like water. I suddenly think of laughing out loud. How laughable. I've changed, apparently the one that changed is me. My laughter choked at the top of my throat, changing into a mournful whimper.
"That's right, I've changed." I can only admit. Isn't it so? From start to finish, YuJiang is still the same person. It's me that blinded my eyes, and read him wrongly. YuJiang asked:
"What is it? ShengSheng, are you not happy? I have finally obtained Rong enterprise, isn't this what you've always wanted?" What can I possibly say? He added innocently: "You always wished that I would gain experience and train my compet.i.tive business skills, why then do have such an expression?" I don't even have the right to smile wryly. I can only sneer. That's right, that's right, I'm the one that's wrong. I can only wait for this crafty and ruthless without peer person to suddenly smile derisively and show his true colors. Compared to my expectations, we performed even better, even more brilliant. I ought to throw myself at him and hug him closely and congratulate him endlessly. YuJiang takes my hand in his palm, as he used to do frequently in those days: "ShengSheng, why do you no longer love me? Why did you leave me and ask your father to go against me?" Love? I felt like I was struck, the shock making me restless all over. In that instant my vision blurs and becomes confused, I no longer know where I am. I suddenly fling away his hand and again slap him hard across his face. It's a shame that it didn't smash that hypocritical mask. YuJiang, YuJiang, I really want to see what is inside you, what is under your skin, what is it actually in there? His stunned look is unsightly. I grit and gnash my teeth.
"YuJiang, your most frightful point is that even after you made me reach this point, I still can't utter a single word to refute it, I still can't utter a single bitter complaint." I grind my fine white teeth and softly enunciate markedly: "It really makes me admire you." I bow my head and say: "I really admire you." YuJiang does not stretch out his hand to stroke his own reddened face, as if he didn't feel that slap. Perhaps his mask is too thick, too tough, that my insignificant slap was insufficient to budge it even a little bit. He stands up and looks at me wordlessly. Looking down at me from above, with the manner of an imposing king. How many times have I seen this situation in my dreams. How many times have I dreamed for him to dominate the world, and wake up smiling? Now that I have seen it, where have even a shred of those feelings gone? I am only left shaking in fright, nothing more. In a flash, a hundred years has pa.s.sed. I am only left with bitterness.
