CEO Of My Heart 290 290

"I'm sorry.  I truly am and I know that's difficult to understand.  I'll apologize every single day until you believe me.  I thought I could leave you as easily as I do my usual girlfriends.  But don't ever blame yourself, if you want to be stuck with me, you'll hear the bad things too.  I am just starting to unravel my past. I didn't know how if you don't deal with those things they will haunt you for a long time.  I'm so sorry, but the short reason is in my romantic life, I usually only date women who are mildly interested in me so I could be detached." Henry looked ashamed at his feet before meeting her eyes. "My aim was women who were flighty and would be alright without a deep emotional connection to chain me to them.  The idea even that I was married with a wife who was in love with me is beyond my wildest dreams. I have been through enough lows in life to be wary of the highs. The idea that there is someone who could like me enough to say those three cursed words is just a whiplash against everything I've built.  It's so impossible that I felt as if I couldn't breathe so I came to a place where I felt like I could."

"Henry, that's still no excuse.  I'm not going to accept that," Ellie shook her head with her arms crossed.  Her expression had softened a bit so Henry was glad he had gotten her to decide she would stay long enough for him to try to convince her to change her mind.

"s.p.a.ce where I can breathe is kind of somewhere I have a support I can talk to.  Lutterworth had your friends, but not necessarily mine. Michael is as close to a father that I have, but I needed someone who was in the city so I had to come on the first flight to my home.  That person is my Uncle Nadius Prime. He's not in the company at all, so he's not worried about whose sitting on the board. I could be open with him about some of the demons that have been haunting me.  These devils come from a time when I was seven and my parents unraveling marriage was the subject of every society page and tabloid. It was so bad I was sent to a military boarding school in Canada, then Russia.  It wasn't far away enough, we were finally able to conclude as I did hear things through the parents of other students. My father also made the decision for me that my mother was no longer welcome in my life. I didn't even get to say goodbye to her after that decision was made.  That has affected me on such a fundamental way that I never quite understood the implication. I always a.s.sumed I would be dragged away from what I wanted with a vengeance. First, because of my father's iron control on me. Then, it was my own insolence to not follow the guidelines he had set.  Everyone would eventually turn their backs on me, just like my parents did. So, I resolved that I would be the perfect heir to Wong Industries--calm, cool, collected, and quiet intellect. The whole basis of my life was maintaining that mirage of who I should be rather than who I wanted to be."

Ellie's eyes widened as she dropped her bag, but Henry knew he didn't quite deserve to touch her unless he told her everything.  He didn't stop. It was relentless as if he couldn't not say all of it. "In my mind because of all these things, I thought it was impossible for me to have love.  No one could really know the truth because I refused to tell it. Thus all the society woman who had all of a sudden fell in love with me where people I could brush off as they were just interested in company shares or wanted to get away from bad family situations.  I'm not interested in those type of entanglements as I know a simple innocent girl can turn into a monster if she got too close to my demons. I would never allow such a transformation to take place so I ran every time women would plead for me to open up. I think it was through fights with Nolan where he said that you had an old flame to rekindle that I thought caring for you was safe.  My attraction for you could be shaken off if I found it too warm."

Henry looked off at something elusive as his face turned to stone cold listlessness.  "To every person a supermodel is no doubt something previous to the touch. Nadia has many men who fantasize and fawn over her.  I've always wondered what it would be like to be the recipient of her affections. When she forced herself on me, I made the choice to accept it.  I know I will rue that choice to the day I die because I know it was wrong, but the attraction there was I really felt nothing for her. To have an empty doll to like me was what I wanted because I had nothing to offer anyone.  I've never believed I have value."

She was at a loss for words at his brutal admission of both guilt and truth.  Ellie could feel the tendrils of compa.s.sion start to replace her cooling fury.  It did make some sense. To have such cruel decisions made for him--the loss of his maternal care and to be sent to an icy tundra as a way to cope must have been depressing for such a young boy.  It was no surprise that due to all that he had intense aversion to intimacy. These admissions now put together the puzzle that was the CEO of Wong Industries--the haunted shivering boy to man who had made her a beautiful day to never forget.