Absolute Shopping Addict 16 Chapter 16

From the riverbank to the coast, it was nonstop fighting for him.

The golden leopard he had cut down was just one of many, a nameless, faceless horde of enemies he tore through with a single-minded purpose.

You wouldn't blame him for taking a nap on his boat and forgetting to set his course due to the trail of dead monsters he carved for roughly half a day the moment he sighted water.

But he took it all in stride, as if the path down the river was paved with yellow bricks, and where the boat finished its destination was where the rainbow ended, with a courier box waiting for him.

It was at the riverbank where he activated the miniature Turtle Ship, whereupon it grew to its actual size when you set its destination.

Again, this was yet another reason for him to take a nap and preen about his latest purchase.

In hindsight, his forgetfulness would be a blessing in disguise, because the perilous route to the Island of Delusion had its own set of surprises to spring on him.

Jake pressed "Yes", and the boat was on his way.

And as soon as the Turtle Ship hit the rough waters of the river, he realized something very important.

For all his item purchases and stat gains, he had forgotten one thing: you couldn't buy sea legs.

The Turtle Ship tipped left and right, front and back, the waves coming from every direction battering the vessel, and within ten minutes, Jake's face was now colored a very interesting shade of green.

'Is this what Nohas calls a river? The high seas during a G.o.ds-be-d.a.m.ned typhoon are calmer than this!

If I took the sailboat, I'd be dried up more than a side of beef jerky when I get to the island!

Unbelievable. So much for my Admiral Yi impression when I can barely stand due to these waves!'

Fortunately, the Turtle Ship had the amenities needed during voyages like this.

[Anchoring at the Island of Delusion.]

By the time Jake heard the notification, he checked his balance, stood up on wobbly legs, and turned to where the Turtle Ship was holding another bottle of water.

Without further ado, he scrambled off the deck, landed a.s.s-over-teakettle on the sh.o.r.e, and chugged down the water bottle to replace all the fluids he lost during the voyage.

"That was the c.r.a.ppiest roller coaster ride of my whole entire life!" Jake shouted as soon as he tossed the empty bottle back to the Turtle ship.

And as soon as he took a deep breath to calm himself, the Turtle Ship returned to the size of a scale model, where Jake picked up his transport and stashed it in his inventory.

What he saw after turning around and seeing the Island of Delusion for the first time took his breath away.

Close to the sh.o.r.e was a meadow, its trees adorned with flowers of every color between their green leaves, making the clear, cloudless sky stand out even more.

Anyone's mood would improve by viewing the scenery. While Jake was also impressed with the scenery, something else clicked within his mind as the Island of Delusion loomed over him, waiting to be explored.

"I love the smell of points in the morning… smells like victory."

***

Jake knew he was close to something when the meadow's gra.s.s thinned out the deeper into the island he went.

He could barely make out a small swatch of green on the horizon when he saw birds fly off in the distance.

The island's response to his presence was immediate: it began with a low rumble, and graduated into full-on shaking as the ground itself began to move.

As the earth shook, the field of gra.s.s began to rise, and a low-pitched cry resonated across the island.

Jake couldn't see the source of the cry, as he nearly lost his balance as the field of gra.s.s began to rise, and the more it rose, the more bits and pieces of the meadow around the field of gra.s.s began to crumble off, revealing tree roots that were fused to the giant turtle's sh.e.l.l.

When the field stopped rising, a shock wave rippled throughout the isle, and the chunks of meadow began to slough off more rapidly.

And thus, was the Cherry-Sh.e.l.l Snapper, the second boss monster set to invade Brino, began to awaken after its long slumber, sensing a feeble presence trespa.s.sing on its territory...

As the gigantic turtle stirred from its sleep, the rocks and soil falling off its form began to arrange themselves into vaguely human-shaped rock monsters… all aiming for the interloper on this island.

"So…" Jake said, hefting his sword, his attention focused from the source of the shaking to the monsters currently making their way towards him, "you're the welcoming committee?"

***

The first monsters Jake encountered on this trembling island were Forest Raptors; they were small but fast and cunning.

They showed up one by one and began to surround Jake as if they were hunting down a prey.

However, they were no match for a Shopping Addict wielding his newly acquired great sword.

'Was the navigation broken or something? Seems like it's a Jura.s.sic Park, not the Island of Delusion.' Jake wondered.

First group of them, seemed to be aroused by the quacking earth, was about to charge towards the unwelcomed guest.

"Pay up!"

Unwilling to let the monsters dictate the pace of this fight, he dashed to the raptors, taking out his first enemy with a vicious slash from his Swiftstone Sword, and turned to the next group of enemies.

"REALLY pay up!"

A wide swing ended up pulverizing several Forest Raptors, thanks to the ma.s.sive weight of Jake's weapon.

"Pay up…"

Swing, and another reptile was bisected easily.

"IMMEDIATELY!"

For all of Jake's power and the weapon he carried, he was killing monsters so fast that they were considered mercy kills.

"Who's going to be the holiday gift?"

The monsters simply ceased to be when Jake leaped into the air and brought his sword down onto them, letting momentum and gravity do his work.

"What's the overtime going to be?"

Another raptor leaped, and this time Jake didn't bother with any drama and met it in midair, reducing it to gravel with several slashes

"Why are YOU the promotion bonus?!"

The Swiftstone itself was something more than just a weapon, especially with his overwhelming weight.

The Forest Raptors had no option but to fall apart before the ma.s.sive great sword, wielded by strength worth 40 points.

A different-colored and more fearsome looking raptor was the last one among the wave of monsters Jake took care of, crushing its head with the flat of the Swiftstone Sword as if he was pounding a melon with a sledgehammer.

"This is not enough!"

Another wave came, and he was ready.

"I need more money!"

In charged the monsters.

"I'm going to sing while I work! So open your ears and listen well!"

Taking a stance, Jake went after the first monster and began the battle anew.

"It's CASH! The thing that makes my world go around!"

"Because money rules the world everywhere you go!"

He continued spitting rhymes to an imaginary beat, evading attacks easily and pulverizing the enemy monsters his sword couldn't crush into powder.

And as soon as the second wave of monsters petered out every few seconds, Jake ran out of things to rhyme about.

"Wait a second…" he said to himself, backhanding a raptor with the flat of his sword, causing it to collapse, "let's run it back!"

Jake's stance relaxed.

"That flow wasn't too hot."

The next wave of monsters was coming to get him.

"Let's make the next one spicy!"

In Jake's mind, when he lost his groove, he also lost the fabulous ways he was hunting the monsters on this island.

"If you want experience, I got bullion; gain a few levels while I buy you out, son!"

And Jake was once again flowing his lyrics to an imaginary beat, slaying the monsters coming at him in waves, an unstoppable whirlwind of death wielding a very powerful sword.

It was the compulsion placed onto this island's monsters, to defend the biggest monster here: The Cherry-Sh.e.l.l Snapper.

But it served no purpose as wave after wave of monsters were thrown at Jake, who disposed of them with glee, his grin growing wider with all the points he was gaining from hunting these monsters.

He could almost smell the scent of cherry blossoms from where he was at, though an ordinary Awakener would only smell the blood and guts of the enemies he had slain.

'If I keep this up, this skill set will be mine in no time at all!'

It was then – right after the next wave of monsters Jake put down – that an incongruous sound made itself known in the battlefield.

"Moo," the sound came again, and Jake had to turn to see what was making that sound.
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'A cow's moo, on this island?'

The unfamiliar sound lulled him into relaxing for a moment and then...

Jake's knees buckled as a concentrated wall of what could best be described as wrongness flowed through the island.

"What's this?"

His vision began to spin and his head began to feel like it was two sizes too small for his brain as another 'moo' blasted him nearly off balance, Jake had to stab his weapon to the ground and lean on it, just so he wouldn't fall over.

And, through eyes narrowed with nausea, Jake could see a pure-white cow slowly walk onto the meadow.

"Moo," and whatever it was nearly bowled Jake over.

It was here that Jake finally realized the reason why they called it the Island of Delusion.

***

It was only now that Jake realized that he may have bitten off more than he could chew, as he was only able to work with such a grueling pace was because of his proximity to Brino, where he could rest for the minimum amount of time before going back to hunting monsters.

He could easily make the claim that out of all the Awakeners in Brino's 11th tutorial area, he hunted the greatest number of monsters.

His motivation was simple enough: shopping.

To avail of the latest deals in the Awakening Store, Jake had hunted tirelessly and continuously, only returning to Brino to heal his wounds and remove his fatigue.

It was also the reason why he didn't just turn and run when the Werecrocodile came calling.

"d.a.m.n it..." Jake cursed, his breath coming out irregularly while the wounds from the previous waves of monsters were beginning to add up.

'Nowhere to rest and recuperate in my condition.

And now this cow shows up.

This is kind of like when I acc.u.mulate interest because I can't pay back the loan.

All these monsters' attacks on me are s...o...b..lling.

s.h.i.t…'

Jake gripped his weapon in near desperation. Even when he fought the Werecrocodile, he did not face such a situation before…

'I hope the afterlife has a good online shop too… wait a minute, why the f.u.c.k am I thinking that way?'

Another moo, and Jake had to scream out in pain as the sound ravaged his eardrums and removed his ability to balance himself.

"First the moo, then the charge," he muttered, looking through the corner of his eye and reading the monster's information.

It was called a Banshee Bovine, and its population was centered around the Island of Delusion.

Its attack pattern was simple and its movements slow when not in battle, but that was not what made it dangerous.

When aggressive, it would first cry out to stun its enemy… and then it would make its way over, mooing every now and then to keep its enemy stunned.

Then, at a certain distance, it would lower its head… and charge.

The attack known as the Banshee Rush was something that would tear the unprepared Awakener to pieces if it hit.

And Jake, due to the magic defense books he bought earlier, was able to ward off the worst effects of the Banshee Bovine's cries, but got a wound on his side for his trouble.

'This is not good,' he thought. 'I need more magic defense.'

His first idea was to save up for tomes that provided magic defense, but as soon as he opened up the Awakening Store, a notification appeared.

[Are you having a load of bull on the Island of Delusion? Is buying the Cherry Blossom Set surprising you with its udder difficulty? Banshee Bovines getting you in-cow-herent? Well, look no further as we have an offer for you, so that you don't have a cow while you're on the Island of Delusion! We have a 3 carat diamond ring for sale: not only does it feature fine craftsmanship in a bezel setting, it also increases your magical defense by 3!]

'Just in time!' Jake thought, and silently said a prayer of thanks for the people working on the Awakening Store.

It was a perfect time to introduce an appropriate item, and it showed that the Awakening Store was very good at acting during moments like this. You could say their business ac.u.men was like catching lightning in a bottle.

[You can purchase this fine piece of jewelry for the low, low price of 7000 points!]

'Holy – that's cheap!

Even cheaper than a tome for raising magical defense!'

Jake looked at the item details on the Black Label Awakening Store and couldn't help but sigh.

'So bright and beautiful…

So radiant…'

Diamonds weren't worth anything in Nohas, but Jake didn't care.

'Even its reflection off a mere image is enough…'

It only took the item details for Jake to gather up his willpower – if he could actually hold onto the ring and slip it around his finger, he knew he'd be able to handle anything else coming at him.

'Sweet s.e.xy thing, bring that box to me, baby I'm in the mood to wrap you 'round my finger…' Jake crooned to the image.

'Just you wait! I'll have you from the Black Label and around my finger, and I'm not going to die trying! f.u.c.k it, you're ending up on my finger and that's a promise!'

Let's be honest. Among the shopaholics, there should be no one who isn't interested in these diamond rings.

Of course, Jake himself bought one, but that was a mere 0.5 carat; it was literally nothing compared to the 3 carat one.

As an ordinary office worker with an ordinary salary, he never had a chance in his life to ever hold onto such a valuable and priceless piece of jewelry like that.

But now, it was his golden moment to finally achieve it.

Jake's scattered mind was beginning to find its focus as he held out the Swiftstone to ward off the effects of the Banshee Bovine's cries.

"If I can get a ring like that around my finger, those cows and that turtle could have their way with me and it wouldn't be a wasted life," Jake whispered. "Celebrities get rings like that for engagements or weddings. Not salarymen in other worlds with giant swords hunting monsters."

Jake's clouded eyes returned to its usual sharpness as his obsession with shopping had given him enough power to withstand the Banshee Bovine's vicious cries, and when it charged, Jake evaded the attack easily.

"That shall be mine!" Jake shouted, before brandishing his Swiftstone Sword at his tormentor. "Now come on, you loudmouth! Time to turn you into a pile of hamburger!"

With its primary method of dealing with enemies removed, the cow lowered its head and readied itself to charge again.

[3 Carat Diamond Ring: Don't you think your finger has been lonely enough that it needs to be rewarded in some way? Of course, it's not easy to afford these rings with the salary we get, but now things have changed! Don't miss your chance to make your fingers shine, literally. It even has an effect of increasing your magic defense stats by 3 points! We will be here waiting you. Always. And Forever.]