Xianggong, Please Divorce Me! Chapter 4

TL’ed by snowflake_obsidian

Edited by Xia

[1] His toe seems to ache when there is trouble, a barometer of sorts.

[2] The text has 坏里 (huàilǐ) but I'm pretty sure 怀里 (huáilǐ) is meant.

[3] Su Tang is undercutting the slur that she is a dog. I think she is saying that her Chinese Zodiac sign is the dog.

[4] 大将军; Song Shi An is probably the equivalent of a 5-star general.

[5] Phoenix coronet; These are internet photos of real ones, not costume props.

[6] 嘴; The word means anything shaped or functioning like a mouth. What seems logical in the context is something like a bird beak shaped hair pin.

Chapter 4:  Hitherto Unknown Large Lethal Weapon

Su Tang, who was sitting inside the carriage, was thinking that there was still at least four hours on the road and couldn't help but be somewhat bored stiff.  She energetically thought about her present freedom. Soon afterward, she took off the red kerchief covering her head and lifted open the curtain to look out (of the carriage).

This startled Xi Que, "Miss, a bride must not be seen by people!"

Exhale. Su Tang silently motioned.  "Miss, you and I have proper matters to attend to!"

What is called “proper matters” for new brides naturally is to see the bridegroom. Only Su Tang looked for quite a long time and saw only the rear view of a straight upper portion of a body and the intermittent movement of a perfectly round—horse's b.u.t.t.

Looking at you for a long while, you never even glanced back to smile! Su Tang pouted, extremely discontent, suddenly a light idea came to her. Su Tang's complete face was a wily smile. After that her mouth pursed, a beautiful whistling (sound) came out.

Song Shi An sat on a horse throughout the journey, head high, chest out, proceeding forward.  He suddenly heard a whistle behind him and couldn't help but be surprised. He vigilantly turned his head back, but discovered that there was nothing (to be concerned about).  He looked once again, eyebrows slightly wrinkled.  The vehicles' curtain movement was too suspicious…. The toe again was slightly painful [1]. Song Shi An had a kind of uneasy premonition—he seemed to have married a troublesome woman.

Inside the carriage Su Tang was happily lolling about.  Xi Que actually had an unhappy expression.  If it were not for her reacting quickly just a moment ago to pull Su Tang in, (her) miss would have early on been seen by people!

Miss truly was too mischievous! Other indiscreet young people are taking liberties with women from respectable families. Her family's miss after all is not bad. On the other hand, taking liberties with other people!  Really embarra.s.ses somebody to death!

"Ai ya, my little Xi Que, you don't need to be mad. I'm just teasing you." Su Tang had no awareness that this was embarra.s.sing. Her two eyes blinked, asking for forgiveness.

Xi Que however was still severely pouting.  The young miss has just one dowry yatou, in the future don't know how many terrible messes would need to be tidied up, thought this life was truly too dark, boo hoo.

Su Tang also didn't notice Xi Que's feeling of hopelessness about ones' life.  Once again, she began to recall cold noodles looking back a moment ago.  She clicked her tongue in disgust.  In the end, he (still) is cold noodles, his glance back was completely frosty. However, that little bit (she saw) still looked genuinely attractive and intelligent.  Oh no, he ought to have the old appearance, seemed that compared to the original it was somewhat better looking…. Nevertheless, handsome but still infuriating!

Sigh, when all is said and done it's an ill-fated relationship. At that time, you arrogantly said that even if all the girls in the world died, you still wouldn't marry me. Aaaagh! And perhaps now a depressed heart. At this evenings wedding festivities, this old woman must put her hands on her hips and heartily laugh, laugh that you've slapped your own face, laugh that you've brought disaster on yourself…. uh that's wrong, wedding festivities?!

Su Tang hadn't yet revived from her distress when she felt the carriage jolt.  Afterwards, from outside came the wretched clatter of horse's hoofs as well as the din of chaos.

What's going on?! Su Tang opened the curtain to look outside but still couldn't see clearly. A sharp arrow high in the air was soaring towards her, "plunk" sound, upright stuck in the carriage door frame.

In an instant Su Tang's countenance changed. Xi Que was frightened out of her wits. Surprised to see (what was happening) outside, (Su Tang saw) a masked black clothed person in the midst of hand-to-hand combat with Song Shi An, unaware when (that started)!

The bridal escort already was scattered, thrown into confusion.  The dowry was randomly searched, the scene in complete turmoil, a total mess. Su Tang looked at everything (and) burned with honest fury:

— this old woman is likely to get married once again!

During this, while Su Tang looked for the figure of Song Shi An mingled in the crowd, Xi Que slipped away from the carriage.

"What are you doing!"  Su Tang anxiously asked. She tried to pull (Xi Que) but was too late.

Xi Que ran to the side to the scattered heap of dowry on the ground.  Pointing to a red wooden box, in a small voice said "Miss, the things are still inside!"

Su Tang blushed in shame, at this time (Xi Que) was still thinking about this.  "Quick, come back!"

Xi Que was also afraid of the hideous mess, of everything (happening) outside.  Going toward the carriage, she clasped the chest with both hands.  Only four more steps (but) she was unable to (get in) on account of an approaching black clothed man on a horse.  (He) abducted Su Tang, taking her away.

"Miss—"

Seeing the young miss abducted, Xi Que intensely wept.  Striding forward she gave chase and was about to overtake (them) but how could she catch up to a horse.  In a little while (she) lagged behind a good long distance.  At this moment, she heard the wind carry young miss's extremely loud and clear voice—

"Song Shi An, you scoundrel!  Your wife has been s.n.a.t.c.hed and you're still there eagerly hacking things!!"

Xi Que was stupefied.

Everyone present was stunned.

No one in the crowd had yet reacted while a horse flew pa.s.s, unswervingly chasing Su Tang….

A long long time afterward, whenever Xi Que called to mind this scene, she thoroughly felt Song Shi An was exactly that matchless hero, who amid thousands upon thousands of men and horses, whistled past like the wind, braving hardships and perils, not hesitating (to lose) his life, only for the sake of rescuing the beautiful young woman on his heart….

However though, the junior generals under Song Shi An quite clearly remembered that at that time their high-ranking officers' complexion was indeed dark as coal, dark as coal…

Moreover, Su Tang who was taken by force also was not idle.  She considered that she is a virgin and as bad luck would have it, 20 years old and unmarried, right.  Not to say cuddling and embracing, pulling along (her) little hands is too much!  She's pure. How can this wretched masked black clothed man restrict (her) tightly in his embrace [2]! Shameful and humiliating, gallingly degrading and deeply mortifying! Therefore, she punched, bit, and spared no effort to resist!

"OUCH—You dog!"  The masked black clothed man cried in pain.

"This old woman precisely is a dog [3]!" In a spurt of energy Su Tang took advantage that the masked black clothed man didn't check and tugged down his facial mask.

Ah? This person's appearance isn't bad!

The black clothed man saw that his true face was exposed.  His facial expression tightened and afterwards his eyes darkened.  One palm chopped the woman in his embrace, who then pa.s.sed out. Then he glanced over his shoulder.  He couldn't help but smile being sure of success after seeing Song Shi An in hot pursuit.

At this moment, they already ran into a valley which naturally twisted and turned. Superb for an ambush.

The black clothed man loudly shouted and stopped his horse.  (He) turned around the horse's head, facing towards General Song [4] who was madly running in.

Song Shi An detected something was amiss (but) it was already too late.  Seeing hidden troops emerging on all sides surrounding (them), (he) halted his horse.  (Song Shi An) narrowed his eyes, then his line of sight fell on the black clothed person who was straight ahead.

"General Song, I didn't expect that we'd meet again so soon." The black clothed man smiled like a spring breeze, a kind and gentle face.

Song Shi An's deep voice, "Young prince, now-a-days your Yan and my Song country are having peace talks.  Your actions this time are perhaps inappropriate."

Pei Rui He jeeringly smiled, full of disdain, "Peace talks are the two countries affair. Killing you is your and my affair. It's unconnected."

"You're not afraid of the resurgence of war!"

"When you, General Song, are dead, then the odds of my Yan county winning are promising. Even to say nothing of you dying here, who would know." Pei Rui He spoke in a quiet and soft voice, nevertheless there were immeasurable murderous intentions.

Song Shi An swept a glance on all sides and realized this was well arranged a long time ago. Yan country was a first-cla.s.s master in setting traps. A single person relying solely on his strength, perhaps truly difficult to respond, in addition to say nothing of a troublesome woman there.

Casting a casual glance at the motionless woman on the horse's back, Song Shi An's brows wrinkled even more tightly—sure enough he was a jinx to his wife's life.

Pei Rui He unexpectedly squandered time. If contingency troops rush over then the matter of murder wouldn't be unhindered and that smooth. Therefore, one hand waved downwards to order the fighting to begin. Seeing the woman on the back of the horse, he himself (Song Shi An) felt that she'd only be a hindrance. Anyways it wasn't good to abandon her, in that case he had to dismount from the horse and wait and see.

With a slew of enemies, the more Song Shi An fought the more he'd expend energy. The opposite side dominated by sheer force of numbers and oneself did not have any weapons handy. Really sinking to an extreme disadvantageous position, however at this point he did not at all gave up. The more dangerous, the more cool-headed (he was).  At that instant, he was searching this rotten predicament for a reprieve from death.

And at this moment the best method was precisely to capture the king!

Song Shi An fixedly stared at the encircling a.s.sa.s.sins in the surroundings.  Amid (this) pressing situation, they continually fixed their eyes on Pei Rui He's detectable movements, while he (Song Shi An) on the other hand once again looked toward that young prince from the enemy state. (Song Shi An) couldn't help but be out of sorts.

He was surprised to see behind Pei Rui He, on the back of the horse, a woman bending her body, turning this way and that way looking for something. After that her face betrayed a look of pleasant surprise and took off the phoenix crown [5] on her head. Indicating a position with her hands, she forcefully smashed toward the back of his head….

That phoenix crown…. very heavy….

Thump, only a dull sound was heard.  Pei Rui He's entire face was stunned. He slowly collapsed. Toppling over he turned his head, a hard to believe expression.

Su Tang saw his entire head with fresh blood, flung aside the beak [6] and shivered, "Ugh, really nauseating."

Finishing speaking (she) nimbly jumped down off the horse and from the phoenix coronet plucked out one hairpin and aimed (it) at Pei Rui He's throat. Again in view of that black clothed person (she) yelled, "Don't move at all! Otherwise this old woman will stab a hole in him!"

Everyone there were shocked.

As a result of one kind of "peace talks", the a.s.sa.s.sins left ahead of the rest, hauling their unconscious master. Su Tang looked at all the troops dispersing.  Dust fell everywhere. In the end, she sighed in relief and relaxed her tense heart.  Her exhausted feet couldn't help but in a burst, weaken. Patting her chest, she thought to herself that just a moment ago things clearly hung in suspense.

Frowning, Song Shi An saw her actions and knitted his brows.  He still thought that this inherently was extremely audacious…after all (this) is a woman.

At last Su Tang captured his glance.  He couldn't help but straighten his back, maintaining justice, an awe-inspiring appearance. Anyways it seems that she was not that scared, that—

"Who is he?!" To go so far as to kidnap her!

"The young prince of Yan country." Song Shi An simply and clearly replied.

"Huh? Yan country? Aren't they that country which has been at war with us for a long time?"  Although a member of the weaker s.e.x, Su Tang frequently heard (about) national affairs. She recalled that Yan country it seemed was utterly routed at the front lines by their Song country, as well as those troops were by the side of this pan of cold noodles.

Song Shi An nodded as a reply.

"That revolting behavior and he's still a prince?" Her thinking switched to something else.  Alarmed she said, "I just hit him.  He's wounded and disfigured, in a dreadful state. He'd better not look for me to exact revenge!"

Su Tang looked at the hair pins with precious stones which were sticking out of the phoenix coronet and couldn't help but be somewhat worried—Xi Que counted the pearls one by one.  How many? One pearl one hairpin. One hairpin one hole….eh, too scary!

Song Shi An looked at the blood on the phoenix crown and was somewhat embarra.s.sed. Such a lethal weapon which he truly had never seen before.  And this woman? Song Shi An turned his head around to look at Su Tang.  He only saw the latter with her complete body covered in auspicious scarlet red clothes, hair in disarray, facial features very oddly contorted…. OK, he also never saw this sort of woman before.

He suddenly thought of Daren Zhang's words. It seemed he said that young lady has bright eyes and pearly teeth, is able and virtuous, chaste…. sure enough should not trust the matchmakers' information!

Our forefathers' words won't deceive us!

Coa.r.s.e, impertinent! Song Shi An called to mind her torrent of abuse a short while ago.

Furthermore, rude and impetuous!  His toe strongly called this to his attention!

Song Shi An had some regrets. Although he was entirely indifferent as to who he married, but this one….

Song Shi An was still thinking hard about how to deal with this marriage (when) Su Tang began to wail, her facial expression as if at a funeral. She posed a question, "Even if he is Yan country's young whatever prince, but why did he want to abduct me? I didn't provoke his ire? Could it be that he s.e.xually hara.s.ses (women)?"

Song Shi An's mouth drew out, mind thinking that in the event Pei Rui He heard these words, I'm afraid he very likely would pa.s.s out! The woman at his side, what feminine beauty who outshines the moon and puts the flowers to shame? He reckoned that a servant girl at his manor was somewhat better than this beautiful one in front (of him).  This woman not only is rash, rough and rude, she also doesn't yet know herself!

Thinking of this, Song Shi An replied, "He merely was using you as bait, that's all." Therefore, you shouldn't think too much. Finished speaking, he headed toward the horse on the side.

Su Tang's eyes promptly glared.  This is to say that she was showering her affection on an uninterested party? Humph!

Su Tang lifted the side of her skirt to catch up with him.  Alongside him, she asked, "According to this idea of yours, he came to kill you?" Moreover, she saw Song Shi An disinclined to say superfluous words.  He just nodded. A small seedling of a flame again ignited.  "Then why does he want to kill you?"

Song Shi An stroked the horse's back, his crystal-clear eyes nevertheless were gloomy. A deep voice said, "I delivered a crushing defeat to Yan country on the battle field. They see me as a thorn in their side and all along have wanted to get rid of me."

"You're not at all reserved about your glorious achievements. Can you restrain yourself a bit?" Su Tang rolled her eyes.  As expected, he in grand fashion is still totally full of himself. This c.o.c.ky fellow, not even a little has changed!

Song Shi An merely felt this woman was thoroughly annoying and was unwilling to say more.  He flipped his body up over the (back of the) horse (mounting it), gazed downward again toward a dumbstruck Su Tang and extended (his) hand —hiccup, why is her face so silly?

Su Tang blinked and blinked. Her yielding heart could squeeze out water.  Just now he mounted the horse, that deportment, truly, truly sprightly and nimble, extremely fluid and at ease.

"You…. First you come down." Su Tang said.

Song Shi An knitted his brows, scowling, "Why?"

"Don't waste words, first come down." Su Tang was a bit impolite.

Song Shi An's face darkened.  No (other) woman dared to incite him! But seeing her earnest face (he thought) perhaps there is a significant matter? Considering this, he dismounted the horse like before.

"Ok, ok, get on the horse." Su Tang's face was expectant.

Song Shi An's face became (even) darker, "What do you really want to do?"

"I just feel that the way you carry yourself mounting the horse is too splendid. I would like to see that one more time—"

Su Tang's reply was extremely sincere.  Song Shi An nearly fell off the horse.