Crowbar Nurse Chapter 6

—Why did my body feel so nimble?

Just exactly how did my body change…?

As I ran at the group of zombies, I questioned how impossibly agile I was, considering I had just finished working overtime.

It’s almost like I’m actually Sera Harvey.

I wasn’t able to leap over buildings or anything crazy like that, but it’s not like Sera was able to do so in the game either. Plus, the controls in DMC games are typical of most horror games in that the characters walk quite sluggishly. I suppose it’s more frightening this way.
Being able to run like this is more than good enough for me.
I prepared myself for the worst as I headed straight at the enemies. I knew this was already an uphill battle.

There’s only one way out… we’re going to do it and do it well!
First, I’ve got to get the Tank to fire…!

The Tank fired a high-explosive sh.e.l.l as soon as I got within range. The sh.e.l.l traveled many times over the speed of sound and was heading directly at me.
… however, the projectile impacted and detonated quite a distance away from where I was.

Perfect… it’s just like how it works in game!

With the Tank being a zombie, its slow lumbering movement did not help it track its target.
The Tank is almost guaranteed to never accurately land its first shot.
And muck like a real Tank, it would be unpleasant for anything standing immediately next to the gun, to say the least.
The muzzle blast went straight into the surrounding zombies and they were all destroyed… the Minotaur took a huge hit as well.
Everything is going just as I planned, save for one thing.

Augh! Don’t tell me I got caught too…!

A sharp pain shot through my body. I collapsed on the spot as the pain torn through me from the inside out.
Before I had collapsed, the tank zombie fired another few shots… but I wouldn’t still be here if I had been hit by it. The situation was taking a turn for the worse.

“Gah… ugh…!”

Breathing was a lot harder than I remembered.
… something must have happened to my lungs.
My diaphragm and other muscles were functioning as they should, but I couldn’t breathe very well. The shockwave must have punctured my lungs.

I-I can’t move… c.r.a.p. I can’t fight like this!

I thought the only tactic was to get the enemies to kill themselves, and honestly, that part worked alright… but I didn’t expect to receive this much damage either.

In the game, the blast radius is about 10 meters, but I’ve heard it’s much smaller compared to real life.
Maybe I had misjudged my distance.
I sure hope I didn’t receive a real Tank’s gun blast…

“Sera!”

Kiryū rushed over in fear.
The Tank is still alive. It was dangerous for him to come over here… but I’m sure he knew that already.
Just as I realized he had tossed me some recovery items, he turned to face the Tank with his crowbar.

Oh, that’s not a good idea. You can’t take down a Tank with a crowbar…

The pain seared through me again, leaving me unable to speak.
I writhed in pain as the blood-soaked Kiryū came back with his blood-stained crowbar.

“Good thing it was pretty weak already… hey, use the healing items already! What, are you feeling too weak to use it yourself? Jeez… you okay? Do you recognize me?”

I faintly nodded at his question.

“Aw, jeez… I haven’t used any healing items in this game before, so I don’t quite know how to use ‘em… how about this bottle? Should I just sprinkle it over your body?”

I shook my head.
That bottle… or rather, that vial in his hand has a rubber cap over the end of it. It’s so that you can’t open it by hand.
You need a syringe to utilize it.
For some reason, the protagonist sp.a.w.ns with a syringe—I did not.
There’s a hospital section afterwards, so maybe I’ve gotta get one there.

“Hmm, how about these herbs then? What do I do with them? Can I just cram it in your mouth?”
“…”

…

…

… hmm?

Umm, maybe?

I’ve never seen it being used in game before.
In the game, you open the menu, select Items, select Medicinal Herbs, then select Yes when it asks Do you want to use this item?.
Since it’s never shown how the protagonist uses the herb… I don’t have the slightest idea what to do with it.
I’m not sure what Kiryū thought when he saw my expression, but he stuffed the whole plant in my mouth.

“Mm… ugh…”

A handsome youth ramming a handful of lawn clippings into a sweet, young girl’s mouth… this must’ve looked much worse than it actually was.
Would this really heal my internal trauma?!
Almost as if answering the question… a miracle occurred.

“Ugh…?!”

A refreshing tingling sensation rushed through my body as if I had been immersed in menthol. All the pain and breathing problems affecting me had disappeared instantaneously.

“… how does this world work…”

I spat the ball of herb out from my mouth.

“Those medicinal herbs worked as quickly as sublingual tablets…”
“Let me know once you figure this world out…”

He heaved a sigh as I sat up from the ground.
Kiryū, still sitting there, was dripping with blood… but none of it seemed to be his own—all of it was just splattered from the enemies.

“You took down the Minotaur and Tank without so much a scratch… that’s incredible, Kiryū.”
“All I did was. .h.i.t and run. You had weakened the Tank already and the Minotaur smoked itself with the gas turbine exhaust.”

He says it had gone so smoothly only because I charged in with all my courage.

“No, but still, you’re way too strong even with all things considered.
… you’re probably the real one-man army here.
Really, thank you so much for saving me… but I can’t help but feel like I’ve lost all my confidence.”

I forced a smile. Kiryū—a total beginner—had to save me. And I even boasted about how “I know this game like the back of my hand”.

“That was just a fluke. Don’t even get me started on how scary it was fighting enemies that could kill me in one hit…”

He urges us to hurry to a safe zone, to which I nodded with all my might.
I was in absolute, 100% agreement.
Since we’ve just taken down some special zombies, there shouldn’t be a mob for the next little while. Nevertheless, another Tank or Minotaur might show up if we were to take our sweet time. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Drastic measures.

“… looks like we will have to grind for those levels after all.”
“Hey, now. Did you forget you were at the brink of death, Sera?
If we kill too many zombies and get too powerful, more of those special ones are going to sp.a.w.n, right?”
“I haven’t forgotten. That was… humiliating.
If we were to avoid every single fight, there will be too many of them before we can react.”
“I mean, I guess…”
“Trust me.”

I’ve played this game so much, I can literally beat it with a plastic bottle as my only weapon. I’m a beast.
Yet, I just showed Kiryū just how unreliable I was. It was absolutely shameful.

“We’ll make sure to be ready for next time. I’ll build us an unstoppable army from h.e.l.l…”

I slowly stood up from the ground.

“… what’s that about an army?”

He seemed confused as he stood up with me.

“That’s right, an unstoppable army from h.e.l.l.
Even if I can’t level up in this game, there’s many other ways we can win.
Don’t worry… I’ll turn these streets of downtown into a safe zone, like a garden that you can stroll through without a so much a care…”
“I couldn’t care less about a garden. Let’s just calm down and plan our next moves.”

Kiryū, with a wry smile on his face, rolled his neck.

“That’s our destination, right?”
“Ah, yes. We have almost reached the beginning of the stage. It’s my first time backtracking like this. It feels a little odd…”

As we twist and turn through the narrow alleyways, another new enemy creeped across our path.

—It was a Heart.

That wasn’t a metaphor for anything. The zombie was about four times the size of a yoga ball. Tentacles scrawl from the monster in the shape of a literal heart. I don’t remember what its actual name is. That’s how unimportant they are.

“s.h.i.t. We’ve used up all the herbs earlier…!”
“We’ll be fine. That thing may look gross, but it is only ‘slightly stronger’ than the average zombie. We’ve got more than enough firepower to take it down…”

I walked in front of Kiryū.
He looked anxious, but he seemed to calm down when we made eye contact.

“Could you please lend me your crowbar?”
“It’s all sticky from the blood. You okay with that?”
“I’ll be fine after wiping it with my skirt. This will be an easy fight…
I used to kill a whole bunch of these things before my anatomy tests… so watch closely, okay?”

I took a few big swings with the crowbar.

“—Let do it. We’ve got to!”

“Whew. That was a good workout!
The heart is a complicated organ with lots of specific parts to remember. I couldn’t have pa.s.sed my exams without the help of these guys!”

I listed out each artery by name as I bashed away with the crowbar before returning the crowbar to the blood-soaked Kiryū. I could imagine him thinking I’m some sort of psychopath giving a lecture on the human heart.

“Are all nurses like this…?”

I ignored his flabbergasted comment at me.
Then, crossed the now navigable street and hurried to the Vital Watch.

“… let me just correct you that no, not all nurses are ‘like this’.”

“I don’t think you’ll find many female nurses who love blasting h.e.l.lish monsters to giblets with a BFG.”
“A BFG… don’t tell me you mean the Big f.u.c.king Gun, the most powerful weapon from Doom…?
I don’t think many people in j.a.pan know what a BFG is… man, you’re hardcore.”

We finally reached the beginning of the game, even with us chatting.
There were small two-story shops and the gla.s.s from their display windows lining the street.
The alleys around here were a little wider, but many of them were blocked off by fallen utility poles and crumbled walls. Here was also where the army (though I don’t know which nation’s army, so it’s hard to make a joke here) faced off with the zombies.

“Oh, look, there are herbs over there. I’mma go grab ‘em.”

Kiryū walked from planter to planter to pluck the herbs from them.

There’s dirt falling out of his pockets…

The absolute beauty of a man contrasted his overflowing pockets like a bad joke.
But those herbs saved my life earlier. I’m can’t exactly tell him to “cut it out because you look super lame” either.

Speaking of which, I’d like pockets of my own too. I’d like to have herbs readily accessible.
Or at least a pocket big enough to fit my phone… too many dresses nowadays forgo pockets to focus on “showing off your perfect lines”. It’s honestly really inconvenient.

“… or maybe a drink would be nice too.”

Nothing beats a good drink after work.

“Hmm? A drink?”

Kiryū stood up as he looked at me. He must have heard my mumbling.

“Yes, I would love one.
Ugh. You just need a frosty can of beer after working overtime. But instead, I was sent over here with no beer at all. Just my luck.”
“That’s… unfortunate. I don’t think you’ll find any here. Once you we get back to our world, you can get your fill of booze.”

Scratching his cheek, he tepidly tried to console me, but I wasn’t about to give up so easily.

“No, I might get the chance.
One of the healing items in this game is an alcoholic drink.”
“Huh. If we find them, then yeah, that could happen.”
“That’s exactly right. I wonder if there are any lying around… whoa, hey! Look!”
“… that’s way too convenient…”

I ignored Kiryū as I filled my hands with alcohol and my heart with joy. I popped off the top and took a swig.

“Ahh, that hits the spot!”
“You nurses sure love your drink… and are you sure about drinking something you picked up off the ground?”

He doubted me with a tilt of the neck, but I laughed in response.

“I’m sure. Absolutely sure. We picked up those herbs lying on the side of the street too, right? Same difference.
And plus, I haven’t even finished working overtime and I was dragged into this adventure. I deserve this.”
“… well, I guess so.”
“Right?”

Down the gullet the liquor goes.

“There’s a real interesting part in this game too. You get a lot of health back from booze, but if you drink too much…”
“What happens?”
“… you puke it back out. Bleeeghhh!”
“Oh, you’ve gotta be s.h.i.tting me.”

■The back blast of gas turbine engines

Just a quick tidbit from the author. After weapons like rocket launchers and tanks guns fire, there will be a blast of extremely hot gas. Being within 30 meters of the back blast will guarantee injury if not death.
The heat will roast you to a delicious crisp. So, if you ever see one in real life, try to keep distance. Now that’s a top tip that will ensure your chance of survival. (Not that you would normally have the chance to get up close to an operating tank in j.a.pan anyway.)

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