A Devil May Cry Fanfic 23 "Zebra Hair"

it was another lazy day at the office with lily safe to say after she'd moved in not having work to do wasn't that bad at least I wasn't alone now. It still bothers me that Nero's never really met Vergil or his mom. But to me that just proved he wasn't stuck in h.e.l.l like I'd thought. I knew he wasn't dead since it's next to impossible for ether of us to die. I would have met Nero if Vergil had him back then probably before he went crazy on his quest for power. But back then Nero didn't exist. I needed to find Vergil but even with Lily's ability to sp.a.w.n portals to different dimensions I hadn't seen him once on any of our dates. Once I found him second business is finding out who's Nero's mom because I'm pretty curious who'd go out with him after he went power hungry whoever it was had guts.

(Mom'd be p.i.s.sed if she knew you ditched your girl and kid Vergil)

*he thought looking at the picture on his desk*

{then a thought hits him.}

(h.e.l.l no I'm never putting lily through that alone...is mom silently judging me why the h.e.l.l'd I even think of that?)

lily*watching tv and baby commercial came on while he was lost in thought*

[subliminal messages much]

Dante (-.- wait if my hairs white and her hair is black are the kids gonna have zebra hair?)

{somewhere in heaven Eva's laughing at her sons bizarre inner thoughts about her grandkids kids}

lily"darling? Dante h.e.l.lo?"

*shes trying to get his attention he seems like he's dazed*

Dante "huh? Oh sorry babes"

*she smiles at him*

lily"what do you want for dinner?"

Dante (when'd she buy a ap.r.o.n....stop inner demon stop lewding lily we gotta wait)

"Pizza"

*lily is actually is able to make him Pizza* "ok"

*she goes to make homemade pizza for Dante*

{Dante whispers jackpot to himself. He forgot his girlfriend could make pizza without having to actually order it.}

Lady"Dante put a ring on it already"

Dante "she's not legal yet"

Lady(but I have a bet against you waiting with bae.)

Trish (Ima win I know he's loyal as heck even if he's a mamas boy.)

Dante "why'd you both go quite and second when'd you'd get in?"

Trish"I've got a spare remember?"

Dante "oh yeah right..."

(Damit man get it together)

Lady"so you know how there's a freakin sucubis following you around right?"

Dante "that happens from time to time so if they don't attack I won't attack them unspoken rules..."

Lady"ok valid but what about if it gets jealous of your girl"

Dante "...it's dead"

*pulls a gun out and walks outside*

Lady"jeez protective much"

Trish"shhh...let's bet on how many kids next"

Lady"....loser has to pay the surget"

Trish"ooo nice...so I say"

*screaming and gunshots can be heard outside*

Lady"oh it sounds like a blood bath he's p.i.s.sed"

Trish"...mmm ok this bets hard lets sit on it for a day or two"

Lady"should we tell him he gets paid if he killed them all?"

Trish"probably"

Lady"dam k"

Trish"Oof you're loaded though so it's not that bad"

Lady "true but messing with hims kinda my thing"

{Dante came back in while in one of his devil trigger forms covered in blood and gore. The girls whispered dam as he went upstairs to take a shower. He forgot about the food and had to heat it up later. The girls gave him a check once he came back downstairs even though they hadn't told him it was a job. Dante accepted the fact they'd basically used his love for lily to kill a bunch of sucubi.}

[author chan doesn't know the plural for sucubis]

Dante (why are weddings so dam expensive....maybe I should have started saving last year)

*lily walks by him outta panic because he didn't want her to find out he chucked his phone toward the couch*

{since she's a trusting wifefu she doesn't even think of any of the possibilities that he could have been doing something terrible. She had come in there to look for their f.u.c.king dog since she had no idea where the c.r.a.p it was.}

lily"babe where's the dog?"

Dante "....s.h.i.t"

[if anyone's seen school live yeah that's basically the dogs level of smartness]

*meanwhile neros apartment*

Kyrie "honey look there was a puppy on the doorstep can we keep him?"

Nero(that's my aunts dog wtf how'd he get here)

"Uh well babe they said not to keep pets here"

Kyrie "but it's like baby practice"

Nero(....forgive me later Ima do it for the booty)

"h.e.l.l yes"

{the dog has been re adopted until he gets bored and goes back to lily and Dante}