Wings. Part 4

"No, I haven't," she said with a gentle smile. He was so faithful to her, and so earnest, that sometimes he made her feel very guilty. But she had made a commitment to other things, and she didn't want to lose sight of them now, no matter how sweet he was, or how kind, or how guilty he made her feel, or how much her father liked him.

He left early that night, his grandmother was in town, and he had to go home and visit with her. Pat growled at Ca.s.sie after Bobby left. She was still wearing the white dress she had worn under her black gown, and she looked very pretty.

"You'll be a d.a.m.n fool, Ca.s.sie O'Malley, if you let that boy slip through your fingers."

"He won't, Dad." It was the only thing she could think of to say to him. It sounded conceited, but it was better than saying she didn't care, which would really have enraged him. And the truth was, she did care. There were times when she thought she really loved him, especially when he kissed her.

"Don't be so sure," her father railed at her. "No man can be expected to wait forever. But maybe once you have your teaching degree, you won't care. Maybe you have it in mind to become an old maid schoolteacher. Now there's something to wish for." He was still annoyed with her about this business of going to college. Instead of being proud of her, as the other two girls' fathers were, he thought it was foolish. But Nick was pleased for her that she was going. He had realized long since how bright she was, and how capable, and it didn't seem fair, even to him, to just push her into getting married and having babies. He was relieved too that she hadn't decided to marry Bobby Strong fresh out of school. That would have changed everything, and he couldn't have borne it. He knew that eventually things would have to change, but at least for now their sacred Sat.u.r.days were safe, and they would still have their precious hours of flying.

Ca.s.sie sat by the radio that night after everyone had "left. She had been dying to do that all afternoon, but she knew how much it would have annoyed her father. Amelia Earhart had taken off from Miami that afternoon, with Fred Noonan, in a twin-engine Lockheed Electra. She was flying around the world, and the expedition had been highly publicized by her husband, George Putnam. Her trip had been oddly plotted because of the threat of war, and there were areas she clearly had to avoid. They had chosen the longest route around the world at the equator, and the most dangerous, overisolated, and underdeveloped countries, which offered few airfields and fewer opportunities for fuel. She had not set an easy task for herself, and Ca.s.sie was enthralled with all of it. Like many other girls her age, and half the world, Ca.s.sie was in love with the courage and excitement of Amelia Earhart.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" her mother asked as she wandered past her into the kitchen. It had been an emotional day for her, and she thought Ca.s.sie looked tired too.

"Just listening to see if there's any news about Amelia Eariiart."

"Not at this hour," her mother smiled. "There will be plenty of it in the news tomorrow. She's a brave girl." She was more than a girl obviously, she was a month shy of forty, which to Ca.s.sie seemed fairly ancient. But in spite of that she was still exciting.

"She's lucky," Ca.s.sie said softly, wishing she could do something just like Earhart was doing. She would have liked nothing better than to tour the world, setting records, and flying incredible distances over strange lands and uncharted waters. It didn't frighten her at all, all it did was excite her.

And she said as much to Nick the next day, after they'd flown turns around a marker over their secret airstrip.

"You're as crazy as she is," he said, dismissing Ear-hart's folly with a casual wave. "She's not the great pilot Putnam sets her up to be. She's crashed more than half the women who fly, and ID bet you a dollar that in that Electra of hers she overshoots every runway. It's a heavy machine, Ca.s.s, and it's got the heaviest Wasp engine Lockheed would give it. That's more than a handful for a woman of her size and build. This trip is just a stunt to make her the first woman to fly around the world. It's been done by men, and it's not going to do anything to advance aviation, only to advance Amelia Eaihart." He seemed unimpressed, but Ca.s.sie was undaunted.

"Don't be a jerk, Nick. You're just mad because she's a woman."

"I'm not. If you told me Jackie Cochran was doing this, I'd say great. I just don't think Earhart has the stuff to do it. And I talked to a guy in Chicago who knows her, and he says she wasn't ready, and neither was the plane. But Putnam wants to squeeze all the publicity he can out of it. I feel sorry for her actually. I think she's being used. And I think she's being pushed into some lousy decisions."

"Sounds like sour grapes, Nick," Ca.s.sie teased, as they shared a Coca-Cola. Their flights together had become a beloved ritual neither of them would have missed for anything in the world. They had been going on for exactly a year now. "You'll eat your words when she breaks all records," Ca.s.sie said confidently as he shook his head.

"Don't hold your breath." And then he smiled at her, his eyes crinkling in the corners, as they did when he was staring into the sun when he was flying. "I'd rather put my money on you in a few years." He was playing with her, but he also meant it.

"Yeah, sure. And my father will be taking the bets, right?" They still hadn't figured out how to tell him about Ca.s.sie's flying, let alone that Nick thought Ca.s.sie was one of the best pilots he knew. But he had promised her that one of these days, when the time was right, they would do it.

The Peoria Air Show was in two weeks, and he was working with Chris, who was as steady as ever, and as uninterested as he had always been. He was entering the air show only to please his father. He was going to try and set an alt.i.tude record, though he didn't think he really could. Stunts were not his strong suit, and the hotshot flying still scared him. But they had strengthened the structure of Nick's Bellanca, and put a turbo supercharger on the engine to increase its power.

"I wish I could fly in it too," Ca.s.sie said longingly, and Nick wished the same thing right along with her.

"So do I. Next year," he promised her, and when he said it, he meant it.

"Do you really think I could?" She looked overwhelmed with excitement. Though it was a year away, it was something to look forward to, even more than college.

"I don't see any reason why not, Ca.s.s. You fly better than any of the guys there. It would make quite an impression, dazzle 'em a little bit. Believe me, they need it."

"There are some pretty good guys at the air show," Ca.s.sie said respectfully. She had seen some great flying over the years, but she also knew that she could fly as well as, or better than, most of those men now. Ca.s.sie had seen some terrible tragedies over the years too. It was not unusual to have fatalities at the air show. Oona had finally forced Pat to give it up, because flying stunts at the air show was just too dangerous. But he loved to see it.

"Want to take me back up and give me some cheap thrills?" Nick asked after their lunch. Sometimes they went back up for another spin, if the weather was good and they had time, as they did that afternoon. "You could use a little work on your takeoffs and landings in crosswinds." They had also been working on takeoffs with power cutbacks.

"The h.e.l.l I do. My landings are better than yours are," she disagreed with a grin.

"Don't be so modest." He ruffled her hair, and let her sit behind him this time, and as usual, she didn't disappoint him. She was fabulous. It was as simple as that. And he was sorry all over again that he couldn't put her in this year's air show.

But two days before the air show, Ca.s.sie was sitting glued to her radio, unable to believe what she was hearing. Amelia Earhart had gone down, somewhere near Howland Island in the South Pacific. It seemed incredible to her, and to everyone else who heard the news. All except her father, who repeated constantly for everyone to hear that women belonged in the kitchen, and not in planes, except maybe as Skygirls, and even that didn't seem suitable to him. But Ca.s.sie was reminded of what Nick had said too, that Earhart wasn't good at handling heavy planes, and there were several people who knew her well who said she hadn't been ready. It seemed like a terrible tragedy, and the government cooperated immediately with the search for her. But on the day of the air show, two days later, they still hadn't found her.

It dampened Ca.s.sie's spirits terribly, as she watched all the trick flying and the stunts at the air show.

"Cheer up." She heard a familiar voice behind her. "Don't look so gloomy." It was Nick. He had a hot dog in one hand, and a beer in the other, and he was wearing a paper Fourth of July hat. The air shows were always festive.

"I'm sorry," she apologized with a tired smile. She had been up for two days, listening (or reports of Amelia Earhart. But there were none. Nothing at all had been found. She had totally vanished. "I was just thinking about..."

"I know what you were thinking about. The same thing you've been thinking about since she took off. But it's not going to do you any good, getting sick over her. Remember, I told you a long time ago. There are chances we all take. We all know it. We accept them. So did she. She was doing what she wanted." He offered her a bite of his hot dog, and she took it, looking pensive. Maybe he was right. Maybe she had a right to die that way. Maybe if she'd been given a choice of a ripe old age in a rocking chair, and a quick exit in a Lockheed, she would have preferred this. But Ca.s.sie still hated to to think of her going down. It was the death of a legend. think of her going down. It was the death of a legend.

"Maybe you're right," Ca.s.sie said quietly. "It just seems so sad."

"It is sad," he agreed. "No one ever said it wasn't. It's sad when anyone goes down. But it's a risk we all take, and some of us love. You too." He put a hand under her chin and reminded her silently of how much she loved to fly and how willing she was to take chances. "You would do the same thing, given half a chance, you little fool. You ever try to go on one of those d.a.m.n world tours, and I'll set fire to your plane. Count on it."

"Thanks." She grinned up at him, and then he tugged at her arm in excitement.

"Hey... take a look at this... there goes Chris... come on... come on... head up there..." He was heading for an alt.i.tude trophy in Nick's plane, and he almost disappeared as they watched him. He had good steady hands, and a seriousness that made him perfect for this kind of compet.i.tion. He had none of Ca.s.sie's excitement or sheer grit; all he really had was endurance. And when he landed, Nick was amazed by how far he'd gone. They hurried over to where Pit and Oona and some of Ca.s.sie's sisters were standing with their children. Glynnis and Megan were both hugely pregnant again, and Colleen had been looking a little green around the gills of late, which had made Oona suspect she was pregnant again too, but hadn't yet said it. They were a prolific group. This would be the fourth for Megan and Colleen, the fifth for Glynnis.

"Good thing too," Ca.s.sie whispered under her breath as she chatted with Nick, "if I'm never going to have any. They can have all the kids they want, as far as I'm concerned." Lately she had begun to think she never wanted a husband or children.

"You'll have kids too, don't kid yourself. Why shouldn't you?" Nick never believed her when she said she'd never marry or have children. She didn't really believe it herself. But she knew she didn't want any of that for a long, long time, if ever. All she wanted was airplanes.

"What makes you so sure I'll have kids, Nick?" she challenged him.

"Because you come from a family that multiply like rabbits."

"Oh thanks a lot." She was still laughing when Bobby Strong found her, and glanced at Nick awkwardly. He always had the feeling that Nick didn't like him. Moments later, having said very little to either of them, Nick went off to hang out with the other pilots.

Half an hour later, they announced that Chris had won a prize for setting the alt.i.tude record. And her father was beside himself with excitement. He went off to find Chris, and Oona went to find drinks with the girls, and the younger children. Bobby stood watching the show with her, as tiny red and blue and silver planes did stunts and rolls, and lazy spins in the air, crazy eights, and double eights, and a few tricks Ca.s.sie had never heard of. Just watching them took your breath away, and more than once the crowd gasped as disaster seemed imminent, and then cheered when there was a last minute save. She was used to it, but it was always exciting.

"What were you thinking just then?" Bobby had begun watching her face. It had been filled with light and an expression of total rapture as she watched a plane do an outside loop; it was a stunt Jimmy Doolittle had invented ten years before, and it really impressed her. The pilot then finished with a flourish by doing a low-level inverted pa.s.s, away from the crowd, so no one was endangered. Bobby watched the look on her face with fascination. And then she turned and smiled at him, almost sadly.

"I was thinking that I wish I were up there doing that," she said honestly. "It looks like so much fun." All she wanted was to be one of them.

"I think I'd get sick," he said with equal honesty, and she grinned at him, as a vendor wandered by with cotton candy.

"You probably would. I almost have a couple of times." She had almost spilled the beans then, and had to remind herself to be careful. "Negative G's will do it to you. You get those in a stall, just before you recover. It feels like your stomach is going to fly right out of your mouth... but it doesn't." She grinned.

"I don't know how you can like all this, Ca.s.s. It scares me to death." He looked handsome and blond and very young as he stood admiring her, and she was growing, day by day, to be more of a woman.

"It's in my bones, I guess."

He nodded, worried that that was true. "That's too bad about Amelia Earhart."

She nodded too. "Yes, it is. Nick says that all pilots accept those possibilities. It can happen to anyone." She looked up at the sky. "Anyone here too. I guess they figure it's worth it."

"Nothing's worth risking your life," Bobby disagreed with her, "unless you have to, like in a war, or to save someone you love."

"That's the trouble"- Ca.s.sie looked at him with a sad smile-" most pilots would risk anything to fly. But other people don't understand that."

"Maybe that's why women shouldn't, Ca.s.s," he said quietly and she sighed.

"You sound like my father."

"Maybe you should listen to him."

She wanted to say "I can't," but she knew she couldn't say that to him. She could only say that to Nick. He was the only human being who knew the whole truth about her, and accepted it. No one else really knew her. Especially not Bobby.

She saw Chris walking toward them then, and she ran to him. He was carrying his medal, his face was glowing with pride, and Pat was walking on air right behind him.

"First medal at seventeen!" he was telling anyone who would listen. "That's my man!" He was handing out beers, and slapping everyone on the back, including Chris and Bobby. Chris was basking in his father's love and approval. Ca.s.sie was watching them, fascinated by how desperate her father was for Chris's success in the air, yet at the same time how adamant he was that she never get there. She was ten times the flier Chris was, or better still, but her father would never acknowledge it, or even know it.

Nick came over to shake hands with Chris, and the boy was elated by his victory, and then he went off with Nick to meet some of the other pilots. It was an exciting day for him, and a day Pat O'Malley had waited fifty-one years for. And as far as he was concerned, this was only the beginning. Instead of seeing that this was the top of Chris's skill, he wanted more. He was already talking about next year, and Ca.s.sie felt sorry for Chris then. She knew how much their father meant to him, and that no matter what it cost him, he would do anything to please him.

The O'Malley clan were in high spirits. They were almost the last ones to leave, and Bobby went home with them for dinner. Nick went out to celebrate with his flying friends, and he looked pretty well oiled by the time he left the field. But he knew Chris was flying the Bellanca back to O'Malley Airport, and he could hop a ride in Pat's truck, so he didn't have to worry about flying or driving.

Oona had cooked platters of fried chicken for them in the morning before they left, and there was com on the cob, and salad and baked potatoes. There was a ham too, and she had baked blueberry pie and made ice cream once back at the house. It was a real feast, and Pat poured Chris a full gla.s.s of Irish whiskey.

"Drink up, lad, you're the next ace in this family!" Chris struggled with the drink, and Ca.s.sie watched them, feeling sad. She felt left out somehow. She should have been flying with them, and basking in her father's praise, and she knew she couldn't. She wondered if she ever would. But the only fate that seemed open to her was that of her sisters, having another baby every year, and condemned to their kitchens. It seemed a terrible life to her, although she loved them all, and her mother, but she would have rather died than spend her life the way they had.

Ca.s.sie noticed too too that Bobby was very sweet that Bobby was very sweet to to all of them. He was kind to her sisters, and adorable to all their children. He was a gentle man, and he would make a wonderful husband. Her mother pointed all of them. He was kind to her sisters, and adorable to all their children. He was a gentle man, and he would make a wonderful husband. Her mother pointed it it out to her again when she was helping clean up in the kitchen. And afterward, she and Bobby went for a long walk, and he surprised her when he talked out to her again when she was helping clean up in the kitchen. And afterward, she and Bobby went for a long walk, and he surprised her when he talked to to her about flying. her about flying.

"I was watching you a lot today, Ca.s.s, and I know what all that means to you. And you may think I'm crazy, but I want you to promise me you'll never do any of that crazy stuff. I really don't want you to fly. It's not that I don't want you to have fun. But I don't want you to get hurt. You know... like Amelia Earhart." It seemed reasonable to him, and she was touched, but Ca.s.sie laughed nervously. The idea of promising anyone that she wouldn't fly made her shudder.

"I'm not going to fly around the world, if that's what you're worried about," she said with an anxious smile. But he shook his head, he meant a lot more than that, and she knew it.

"That's not what I mean. I mean I don't want you flying at all." He had only seen a glimmer of how dangerous it was, but watching the stunts at the air show had convinced him. There was no question that there were risks in flying, and two years before there had been a terrible tragedy at the same air show. Bobby was no fool, and he knew the magic it held for her. Simply put, he didn't want to lose her. "I don't want you learning to fly, Ca.s.s. I know you want to. But it's just too dangerous. Your father is right. And it's much too dangerous for a woman."

"I don't think that's a reasonable thing to ask," she said quietly. She didn't want to lie to him, but she also didn't want to tell him that she'd been flying regularly with Nick for over a year now. "I think you have to trust my judgment on that."

"I want you to promise me you won't fly," he said, showing a strength and stubbornness she had never seen before. She was impressed, but she wasn't going to promise.

"That's unreasonable. You know how much I love to fly"

"That's why I'm asking you to promise, Ca.s.s. I think you would be just the one to take chances."

"Believe me, I wouldn't. I'm careful... and I'm good... that is, I would be. Look, Bobby, please... don't do this..."

"Then I want you to think about it. This is very important to me." So is flying to me, she wanted to scream. It was the only thing she cared about, and now he wanted to take it from her. What was wrong with all of them? Bobby, her father, even Chris. Why did they want to take something away from her that she loved so much? Only Nick understood. He was the only one who knew, and cared how she felt about it.

Though at that exact moment, Nick Calvin was pa.s.sed out cold in the arms of a girl he had met at the air show. She had bright red hair, and brightly painted lips, and as he nestled close to her, he smiled and whispered, "Ca.s.sie."

7.

Ca.s.sie's schedule at Bradley was more demanding than it had been as a senior in high school, but she managed to juggle it anyway, and now she and Nick met twice a week, always on Sat.u.r.days, and sometimes on a weekday morning. Her father wasn't aware of her schedule, and it was easy for both of them. And she had started working as a waitress in order to repay Nick for the fuel, even if she couldn't afford to pay him for the lessons. But he had never expected any payment from her. He did it for sheer love and pleasure.

She was getting better each time they flew, refining some fine points, and flying every plane she could so as to learn their differences and their quirks. She flew the Jenny, the old Gypsy Moth, Nick's Bellanca, the de Havilland 4, and even the lumbering old Handley. Nick wanted her to fly everything she could, and he had her perfecting all her techniques and honing her skills with great precision. He had even taught her some rescue techniques, and told her all the details of some of his more ill.u.s.trious forced landings and near misses while fighting the Germans. There was very little she didn't know about flying the Jenny or the Bellanca or even the Handley, which Nick had brought with him because it was so much heavier and harder to fly, and had two engines.

She spent less time at her father's airport now, since she had farther to go to school, but she still hung around whenever she could, and she and Nick would exchange a conspiratorial smile, whenever their paths crossed.

She was working on an engine one day, in a back hangar, when she was surprised to see her father walk in with Nick. They were talking about buying a new plane, and her father thought it might be too expensive. It was a used Lockheed Vega.

"It's worth it, Pat. It's a heavy plane, but it's a beautiful machine. I checked one out the last time I was in Chicago."

"And who do you think is going to fly it? You, and me. And the others are just going to bring it down in the trees. It's a d.a.m.n fine machine, Nick, and there aren't five men here I'd trust to fly it. Maybe not even two."

But as her father said the words, Ca.s.sie saw Nick looking at her strangely, and then she felt terror run up her spine. She knew instinctively what he was going to do. She wanted to tell him to stop, but another part of her wanted him to do it. She couldn't hide forever. Sooner or later her father would have to know. And Nick kept talking to her about flying in the next air show.

"There may not be five men around here who can fly it, Pat. But I can tell you one woman who can, with her eyes closed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her father growled at him, already annoyed at the mention of a woman who could fly anything, let alone a plane he wouldn't trust his own men with.

Nick said it very quietly, and calmly, as Ca.s.s watched them, terrified, praying that her father would listen. "Your daughter is the best pilot I've ever seen, Pat. She's been flying with me for more than a year, a year and a half to be exact. She's the best d.a.m.n pilot you and I have seen since seventeen. I mean that."

"You what?" Pat looked at his old friend and a.s.sociate in total outrage. "You've been flying with her? Knowing how I'd feel about it? How dare you!"

"If I didn't dare, she would. She would have killed herself a year ago, terrorizing her brother into taking her up and letting her fly anything she could lay her hands on. I'm telling you, she's the best d.a.m.n natural pilot you've ever seen, and you're a fool if you don't let her show you what she's got, Pat. Give the kid a chance. If she were a boy, you would, and you know it."

"I don't know what I know!" he raged at both of them, "except that you're both two d.a.m.n lying fools, and I'm telling you right now I forbid you to to fly, Ca.s.sandra Maureen." He looked straight at her as he said it, and then at Nick. "And I'm not going to put up with any nonsense from you, you d.a.m.n fool, Nick Galvin, do you hear me?" fly, Ca.s.sandra Maureen." He looked straight at her as he said it, and then at Nick. "And I'm not going to put up with any nonsense from you, you d.a.m.n fool, Nick Galvin, do you hear me?"

"You're dead wrong!" Nick was insistent, but Pat was too livid to listen.

"I don't give a d.a.m.n what you think. You're a bigger idiot than she is. She's not flying my planes at my airport. And if you're fool enough to fly her in your own, somewhere else, then I lay the responsibility on your head if you kill her, and it's your own d.a.m.n fault, if she kills you, which she will undoubtedly. There isn't a woman alive who can fly worth a d.a.m.n, and you know it." He had just knocked out, with a single blow, an entire generation of extraordinary women, and among them his own daughter. But he didn't care. That was what he believed, and no one was going to tell him any different.

"Let me take her up and show you, Pat. She can fly anything we've got. She's got a sense of speed and height that relies on her gut and her eyes, more than on anything she sees on the controls. Pat, she's terrific."

"You're not going to show me anything, and I don't want to see it. Couple of d.a.m.n fools... I suppose she's bamboozled you into all this." He looked at his daughter with total fury. As far as he was concerned, it was all her fault. She was a stubborn little monster, determined to kill herself with her father's planes and right at his own airport.

"She didn't bamboozle me into anything. I saw her scud running a year ago, in that storm she got herself into with Chris, and I knew d.a.m.n well he wasn't flying the plane. I figured if I didn't step in, she'd kill both of them, so I started teaching her then."

"That was Chris flying in that storm last year," her father argued defiantly.

"It was not!" Nick shouted back at him, furious now himself at how unreasonable Pat was prepared to be, and all to support an outdated position. "How blind can you be? The boy's got no guts, no hands. All he can do is run straight up and down, like an elevator, just like he did for you at the air show. What on Cod's earth makes you think he could have gotten them out of that storm? That was Ca.s.sie." He looked at her possessively, and he was surprised to see that she was crying in the face of her father's fury.

"It was, Dad," she said quietly. "It was me. Nick knew. He confronted me when we came down, and-"

"I won't listen to this. You're a liar on top of everything else, Ca.s.sandra Maureen, trying to take the glory from your own brother." The force of his accusations took her breath away, and told her again how hopeless it was to try to convince him. Maybe one day, but not now. And never seemed more likely.

"Give her a chance, Pat." Nick was trying to calm him down again, but it was useless. "Please. Just let her show you her stuff. She deserves that. And next year, I'd like to put her in the air show."

"You're both daft, is what you are. Two brazen fools. What makes you think she wouldn't kill herself, and me, and you, and a dozen other people at the air show?"