Witchful Thinking Part 12

I nodded and accepted the black ball cap, clutching it with shaking hands. I didnat know what would happen if I wasnat able to reanimate this fallen soldiera"what would that mean for my powersa"would it point to the fact that they were extinct?

Calm yourself, Jolie. It was Randas voice.

I didnat turn to look at him but offered my hand, which he quickly accepted, closing his fingers around mine. Mercedes took my other hand, the one with the ball cap in it, and I shut my eyes, concentrating on the task.

Just go about it the same way you always have, Rand continued.

I nodded but didnat respond. I was still annoyed over our last encounter. Instead I focused on the blackness of my eyelids, praying my magic would take over, praying Iad open my eyes to view the battlefield of Culloden.

When it appeared nothing was happening, I opened my eyes and found Rand, Mathilda, and Mercedes all staring at me expectantly.

aNothing,a I grumbled.

aTry again,a Mercedes said resolutely.

I nodded and, taking a deep breath, closed my eyes again, sinking into inky blackness. I focused and then focused some more but couldnat keep the sudden fear that Iad lost my abilities from the forefront of my mind.

aWhat if something happened to me?a I said. aWhat if something irreversible happened?a aWe removed the block, child,a Mathilda said in a small voice. I felt her soft and small hand on top of mine as she patted it consolingly. aAbandon your fears.a It was more a command than anything else. And when I closed my eyes again and actually felt something akin to relief flooding me, I had to wonder if Mathilda hadnat bewitched me, hadnat slipped me her version of a fae Quaalude. But I also wasnat about to argue, not when I could finally relax and actually focus on my magic, focus on the darkness that would hopefully take me back to a time when my victim was still alive.

Even though the blackness wasnat fading, I didnat lose hope. I clenched my eyes shut even tighter and begged my powers to kick in, begged my abilities to take over. And then it was as if lightning ricocheted through my mind, the darkness suddenly intercepted by a bright flash of light, and I was where Iad hoped to be a on the battlefield.

The hat in my hand began to tremble and I felt myself propelled forward, toward a man who was on the ground, barely moving. As I got closer, I realized he was actually a vamp. It looked as if head been attacked by another vamp, a huge and open gash in his throat. His blood had already soaked the majority of the ground beneath him, but he wasnat dead. I could tell by the hollow but alive look in his eyes.

I approached him and leaned down onto my thighs, reaching for him. As soon as I touched him, light blazed up around me and I shielded my eyes against the garish infiltration.

When I opened them again, I found myself standing beside Rand and Mercedes. And beyond them, Mathilda stood beside a vampire. A vampire who faced me and smiled, revealing the fact that he was very much alive a or as alive as the undead can be.

It was the night after Iad managed to reanimate the vampire, and my panel of representatives was a.s.sembled around my dining room table for our first meeting in Kinloch Kirk. My panel comprised Odran and Mathilda, Trent and John, Mercedes, Varick, Sinjin, Klaasje (whom I hadnat a.s.signed as one of my representatives but apparently the Queenas defensive force went wherever she did or maybe wherever Sinjin did), and, of course, Rand.

Rand sat at the far end of my oblong maple table. He leaned back in his chair as he regarded everyone around him quietly even though there were numerous conversations rolling around the table. I sat at the head and glanced at Rand only to find him staring at me. I smiled a quick and uncomfortable h.e.l.lo before looking up at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room, which announced, in a baritone ding-dong, that my meeting had begun. I actually felt relieved to be able to focus on my meeting instead of the dark pools of Randas eyes or the way head neglected to shave his stubble and, consequently, looked deliciously roguish. Nope, I was no longer going to focus on anything having to do with Rand. I was sticking with the promise Iad made myself that Iad focus only on my responsibilities to the people.

After all, I was now the fully committed Virgin Queen.

My s.e.x life aside, I was excited to chair this first important meeting. It was like I was embarking on a new chapter in my lifea"the decisions and choices we agreed on today would affect all of our lives moving forward. And it was a good feeling to know how important I was. My opinions mattered not only for my own future but for the futures of hundreds of Underworld creatures. While that thought was a scary one, it was also invigorating.

aThanks for coming,a I began as I poured myself a gla.s.s of water, pa.s.sing the jug to Trent, who sat beside me. aI wanted to address a few concerns.a Then I turned to the papers on the table in front of me and pa.s.sed them to Odran, who happened to be sitting on the other side of me. aTake one and pa.s.s them down the row, please,a I said when it looked like he a.s.sumed they were all for him. Didnat fairies have to attend grammar school? I mean, h.e.l.lo, that was so third-grade.

aAh, aye,a he said and then seemed to wrestle the sheets between his large fingers.

aNeed some help, big guy?a Klaasje asked with a laugh as she took the papers from Odran and pa.s.sed them out to everyone else. I didnat miss Odranas smile or the sight of him pillaging her body with his eyes. I also didnat miss her hip shimmy as she pa.s.sed Sinjina"or his smirk. I felt something climb up into my throat, something that felt like jealousy, but I grappled it back down. I had no reason to be jealous of Sinjinas relationship with this beautiful girl, er, vampire. Irritated with myself, I glanced down at the piece of paper before me and read off the first item on the list.

aI would like an update on what is happening with the Lurkers.a I glanced at Mercedes, who nodded, clearing her throat. aI have created a task force to research the Lurkers as you requested.a (I hadnat really requested ita"it had been her idea all along. But anyhoo a) aAnd what they have reported back to me is of great interest.a aWonderful,a I answered as I offered her an expression that said, Please continue.

Mercedes glanced around the table as if to make sure she had everyoneas attention. Really, she always had everyoneas attention. I think, in general, everyone was afraid of her.

aFirst, it is important to inform everyone here of those who make up this task force. I appointed eight creatures, all of whom I believed to be the best candidates: a female witch, three male vampires, two female weres, and, lastly, a male and a female fairy.a aAye, Anwien and Marmion are amoong the best warriors oa my fae,a Odran added.

Sinjin chuckled. aI would say the vampires chosen for the position were also the best but that would be a lie as the best are already employed in the Queenas defense.a Then he faced Varick and said, almost as an afterthought: aThat statement of course includes you, my elder.a Varick said nothing, but nodded, as if he approved of Sinjinas deference. I was about to smile but then I heard Klaasje giggle and the smile dropped right off my lips. I glanced over at her beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous, thick dark hair and wished I were a bigger person.

Mercedes glanced at the two of them and then faced me with a raised eyebrow, like she didnat appreciate the joking. Go, Mercedes.

aI heard they had to take tests,a Trent chimed in with a bit of a chuckle, like he would never be caught dead taking a test. And maybe that made sensea"I wouldnat exactly describe him as the sharpest wolf in the pack.

Mercedes faced him and her expression hinted that she wasnat amused. aYes, I wanted only the best creatures for the position. I hand-selected those who appeared the most promising and then further narrowed the group based upon their test scores. I tested not only their IQs but also their reaction times in combat situations, their ability to think outside the proverbial box in strategy preparation, as well as their ability to defend themselves.a I nodded, impressed. Really, everything Mercedes did was impressive. She was some prophetess. aSounds like you did a really good job, Mercedes, thank you.a Mercedes smiled her pleasure. aAs to the information we have found thus far, weave had reports of Lurker activity all across the United States as well as Europe, which leads us to believe they are not located in any one place but spread out.

aAnd from a report given to me by the witch Freida, they are in training both day and night.a Suddenly I was worried about the tactics of the task force. The last thing I wanted was torture on my hands. aHow are you getting this information, Mercedes?a aMostly through interviews with anyone who has had interactions with the Lurkers, my Queen. We have paid especially close attention to those who were killed by the Lurkers and were subsequently reanimated. And with fae magic, we were able to re-create scenes to observe their strategies during combat. Based on that, we were able to learn much about them.a Good, torture apparently wasnat a part of the equation. Relief.

aAnd your plans moving forward?a Rand asked.

Mercedes nodded but said nothing right away, as if Randas question wasnat so easy to answer. Finally she took a deep breath and turned toward me. aIn order to learn what we need to, we must capture a Lurker.a Odran nodded immediately, as if head been waiting for someone to say as much. aAye. We need ta stoody them.a Rand nodded as well but said nothing more. Everyone around the table fell silent as their gazes settled on me.

aIf our Queen endorses this approach, we will move forward,a Mercedes finished and looked at me expectantly.

aI do think it is a necessary,a I began before hesitation captured my voice. aBut please instruct your team to try to do so without hurting anyone. I want it to be known that we will kill only when we have no other choice,a I finished with as much authority as I could muster.

Mercedes merely nodded and said nothing more. Realizing this topic was now at its end, I glanced at the agenda and moved to the next question, eyeing Sinjin. aSinjin, you informed me that Bella had agreed to help us reanimate her dead soldiers?a Sinjin nodded. aI did, my Queen.a I couldnat help but notice that Randas gaze narrowed on Sinjin and his jaw was tight. He looked like he was in fight-or-flight mode, just waiting for one wrong word to set him off. Rand shifted in his chair as if he couldnat get comfortable. Then it suddenly occurred to me that maybe I was just painting him with jealousy that didnat exista"maybe he wasnat bothered at all by Sinjina"maybe he just had a wedgie.

aAnd where do we stand?a I asked, reminding myself to pay attention to the agendaa"not Rand and his foul mood.

Sinjin nodded. aBella will provide me with a list of her deceased. She is creating that list as we speak.a We still hadnat managed to reanimate the entirety of our legion, but we were getting closer.

I faced my agenda again and sighed, knowing this next point would be a hard sell. aDue to the fact that Bella has agreed to work with us, I believe we should give her a second chance.a aJolie,a Rand started but his voice was lost in Odranas.

aBella shouldna be alloowed ta live,a he said, his hazel eyes burning. He bashed his fist onto the table as if to reiterate his objection. His long, wavy blond hair fell off his shoulders as if it, too, were shocked by his violent display.

aWatch yourself,a Sinjin growled, his eyes narrowed on Odran.

aWatch yer oown self, fang face.a aOkay, enough, weare all adults here,a I started, alternating my glares between Odran and Sinjin. aI will not order Bellaas death,a I said resolutely. aI will not have her death on my hands.a aShe can be controlled.a Sinjin steepled his fingers in his lap as though this conversation did nothing but bore him. aBella is a threat, yes, but she is a threat that can be managed.a aSaid like a true womanizer,a Klaasje added with a laugh but it was somehow a sad laugh, as if she thought it was a shame.

Sinjin smiled slightly, like he was amused by her comment. His eyes met mine and his smile widened.

aJolie,a Rand started again. aBella is a severe threat, no matter what anyone else says. Sheas a danger to your existence.a aRandall, the Queen is protected both night and day,a Sinjin announced in a tone that implied Rand was an idiot.

Randas eyes burned with anger as he glared at the vampire. aWhere Jolie is concerned, I donat trust anyone. Not Bella and certainly not you.a I was getting extremely irritated with all the testosterone in the room. aRand, I donat have an alternative. We canat keep Bella locked up forever, and I donat want to kill her.a aShe needs to die,a Trent said with finality before glancing up at me. aIf you donat want to order it, then maybe someone else should.a aNo,a I reb.u.t.ted as I angrily stood up. I pushed my chair out and walked to the window, which overlooked the craggy sh.o.r.e below. I was the Queen and on this point, I would not waver. Bella would not be executed. Not on my watch. I turned to face everyone in the room again. aI will not have Bellaas death on my conscience, especially since wead be killing her in cold blood.a aPerhaps we should hear what the witch has to say for herself,a Mathilda suggested in her soft cadence.

aWould you like me to call for Bella, my Queen?a Mercedes asked, glancing up at me. I turned toward the window again, wishing the puffins that flew in and out of the rocks had an answer for me.

Finally I faced the room and nodded. aIad like to offer her the opportunity to become a citizen of our kingdom.a Mercedes stood up and started for the door. aVery well.a Jolie. It was Rand. Please donat trust Bella.

I refused to look at him. Instead I watched Mercedes open the door and disappear into the hall. What choice do I have? Do you think we should just kill her?

Of course not. But at the same time, I donat believe you should embrace her like sheas your long-lost friend.

I glanced at him and frowned. Thatas exaggerating.

But you get the gist?

Until someone else can come up with a better solution, I think this is the only way forward. Besides, she will take the truth serum and the oath just like all her soldiers did.

Truth serums and oaths aside, I donat trust her. Jolie, sometimes you have a very optimistic and, dare I say it, nave perspective regarding the world.

I narrowed my eyes. Is that all you have to say?

Will you please just trust me on this? Donat give Bella the benefit of the doubt, Jolie. At the very least sheall disappoint you. At the very mosta"

Rand didnat have the chance to finish his statement because Mercedes suddenly appeared at the door again. She stepped inside and to the right, as the two weres who had been guarding Bella walked into the room, with her between them. Sinjin was immediately beside me and in another second Klaasje flanked my other side. They were bodyguards bar none.

Bella was beautifula"she always had beena"but her beauty was created of hard lines and a general angularity. There was nothing soft and feminine about her. Her oval face finished in a square jaw, and her full lips were frowning at the moment. Her hair was a deep, dark brown but also had a reddish tinge to it. Adding to this her olive complexion, she could definitely be described as aexotic.a As to her figure, she was tall and curvaceous, built according to the hourgla.s.s, the quintessential ideal of feminine beauty. But there was a blight on Bellaas beautya"there always had been. It was tainted by the perpetual scowl on her face, tainted by the ugliness of her personality.

Bella didnat say anything for a second or two and, instead, just wore an anxious, unhappy expression. Her gaze traveled around the room, as if she wanted to take stock of all who were present.

aHi, Bella,a I greeted her.

She turned her ire-filled eyes to me and looked me up and down in an age-old b.i.t.c.hy way.

aWhy did you order me here?a she demanded finally, crossing her arms against her chest as if it were her last defense. aMy list of soldiers is not complete.a aI suggest ye speak with respect to yer Queen,a Odran spat out in disgust.

She glanced at Odran indifferently before gazing back at me. She remained mute and raised her brows as if to say she wasnat impressed.

aI am inviting you to become a member of our society,a I said as I took a few steps away from the table. When Sinjin started to close in on me, I looked at him and shook my head. I didnat want a shadow a or two. aI donat imagine you want to be locked up forever?a aNo, I donat.a I nodded, trying my best to seem unthreatening. I wasnat sure I was succeeding. aIam trying to give you the chance to live a good life.a aGo on,a she said. Some of her anger seemed to have dissipated, although she didnat drop her arms from across her chest.

aI appreciate your help in reanimating your fallen,a I continued.

Bella looked at Sinjin. aIt wasnat like I had much of a choice.a Sinjin glanced at me and shrugged.

aAt any rate, I appreciate it and Iad like to return the favor,a I finished.

aIf youad like to return the favor, then let me live my life outside the monarchy. Let me be a renegade like Rand always was,a she spat out. Her eyes found Rand. aAnd where do you stand in all of this now? Are you still a renegade?a Rand frowned and his face was stoic, placid. aJolieas vision of monarchy is drastically different from yours.a aYou never believed in any form of monarchy,a she retorted. aYou must be s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g her.a aYou do not disrespect the Queen!a Mercedes ordered, shocking the h.e.l.l out of me and probably everyone else in the room. aYou are extremely fortunate she has decided to spare you.a Mercedesa rainbow aura was in full effect and the blue and purplish sections seemed to glow the brightest, revealing her anger. Bella appeared to shrink a bit in front of the furious prophetess. Iam sure she was intimidated. h.e.l.l, I was intimidated, and Mercedes was defending me. Thank G.o.d she was on my side a aYou donat have the option to be a renegade,a I said simply to Bella. aYou either become a member of my kingdom or you stay imprisoned. The choice is yours.a Bella was quiet as her attention shifted back to Sinjin. aAnd they have included you in this so-called monarchy?a Sinjin shrugged, maintaining his expression of ennui. aI support my Queen wholeheartedly.a aYour Queen.a Bella snickered. aThere was a time when you said the exact same words to me.a Sinjin returned the snicker. aExcept with you I never meant them.a Bella gnashed her teeth as if the lioness within her was about to make itself known. aHow quickly you switch sides.a aI never switched sides.a Sinjinas eyes narrowed. aI was never on yours.a aI donat think we really need to get into this now,a I said, sensing that Bellaas temper was about to erupt like Old Faithful. But Bella ignored me.

aSo, what, are you bedding her like you did me? Winning her over with your charisma and your lies?a Sinjin never took his eyes off Bella. I could see the imprints of sharp teeth in his lower lip.

aI am dedicated solely to the Queen and her protection is my only duty,a he answered, and his accent somehow seemed deeper, stronger.

aAnswer the question,a Bella seethed. aAre you s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g her like you screwed me?a aNo, he isnat,a I said for Sinjin when he made no motion to answer. I suddenly felt anger spiraling up my throat, constricting it until I could barely catch my breath. aNot that itas any of your d.a.m.n business.a Bella faced me, her cheeks flushed, her eyes so angry, it looked as if she might burst. aAnd do you actually believe heas trustworthy?a She laughed acidly and faced Sinjin again. aI trusted him and look what he did to me.a aThis hasa"a I started.

aThe one truth about Sinjin Sinclair is that heas only out for himself. He doesnat give a s.h.i.t about anyone,a Bella interrupted.

Before I could blink Sinjin leapt forward, and in a split second Bella was in his arms, her neck braced between his fangs. All he had to do was bite down to sever her carotid artery.

aSinjin!a I screamed. aLet her go.a aI should sink my fangs into you and kill you,a he seethed, glaring down at her.

She said nothing but gulped down her fear. Instantly Odran and Rand were beside Sinjin. Rand was first to grasp his arm; Odran took the other.

aRelease her,a Rand said in a tight voice.

aIt is yer Queenas command,a Odran reiterated.

Sinjin retracted his fangs. In another second he pushed Bella away and took a step back, shaking himself loose from Rand and Odran.

aYou will never again compare yourself to Jolie,a Sinjin warned, staring at Bella as his chest heaved, which was odd considering Sinjin didnat breathe, couldnat breathe. He must have just been super p.i.s.sed off. aYou are nothing but a blight. If you ever so much as look at your Queen with anything but respect, I will finish you.a Bellaas eyes narrowed. aSo you could kill me just as easily as you bedded me?a Sinjin returned to the table and took a seat, brushing himself off as if nothing had happened, and he hadnat just humiliated Bella in front of all of us.

aI believe the answer is quite clear,a he finished.

And then Bella did something that surprised me. She laughed. Granted, it was sour and dripping with sarcasm, but it was a laugh all the same.

aYou are such a fool,a she said. I gulped as I glanced at Sinjin, hoping he wouldnat attack her again. aI actually feel nothing but pity for you.a aI canat imagine why,a he replied in a droll voice, as if he was doing her a favor by continuing to listen to her.

Bella nodded like she was going to give him an earful. aBecause youare in love with a woman whoas in love with another man.a

JOURNAL ENTRY.

Dear Ms. Diary, phew a I really donat know what to say about that whole situation with Bella last night, er, todaya"I canat even seem to keep track of time. I just checked the clock and itas four a.m. so I guess that means our meeting with Bella ended early this morning (just a few hours ago as a matter of fact).

Iam actually pretty upset with Sinjin because I feel like he spurred Bella on intentionallya"like he wanted to hurt her. I tried to go to sleep once the meeting ended but Iave been up all night thinking about it. I wonder if the fact that Sinjin had to feign loyalty to Bella in the pasta"and in doing so had s.e.x with hera"really offended some deep-down part of him in that labyrinth of mystery and subterfuge he calls his heart. (And I wonat even get into the ways their s.e.xcapades offended and still do offend me. Letas just say itas a visual I desperately try to avoid.) As to whether or not Sinjin really was shamed by his relations with Bellaa"itas all just speculation. It could be nothing more than me pinning Sinjin with remorse and regret where none truly exist. And really, what man wouldnat want to have s.e.x with a woman as beautiful as Bella? Even if she is the sp.a.w.n of the devil? I just canat really understand why Sinjin acted with such pa.s.sionate vehemence toward her. Was it to protect me? To prove something? Because he honestly hates her? As usual, Iam never really sure what Sinjin is up to or what his true intentions are. What I can say is that Sinjin acted without thinking and now Iam sure Bella isnat going to want to have anything to do with us. And based on his show of a anger toward her, I also wonder if heas the best candidate to procure her list of deceased soldiers. Hmm, maybe I should pa.s.s that duty to Rand instead.

Rand a Nope, wonat even spare a thought for him. Not going there.

Moving right along a one of the other things that I canat seem to eradicate from my mind was when Bella said Sinjin was in love with me. I mean, I know she said that to lash out at him, but I donat know what to make of it, all the same. After Bella said it, there was total silence in the room and it seemed like everyone was suddenly admiring my floors. I glanced at Sinjin and he was staring Bella down, looking like head tear her apart if he had the chance. And, honestly, if we hadnat been in the room, I think Bella would have been a goner.

And Rand. After Bella announced that Sinjin was in love with me and I was in love with another man, Randas attention had been riveted on the view outside the window, like he didnat even want to be in the room. And as for me? I still donat know what to think about the whole situation. But I do have this gut feeling in the core of my being that says Sinjin really isnat in love with me. Heas in l.u.s.t with me, yes, but I have the feeling that if I ever gave in to him and actually had s.e.x with him and played the part of the enamored girlfriend, head want nothing more to do with me. I just canat see Sinjin as the relationship sort of guya"thereas something about him that screams instability and unreliability. Nope, heas the guy every woman loves to pine after in the hope she can tame him, domesticate the stallion into an ideal husband. Ha, good luck!

No, Sinjin isnat truly in love with me but there is something he wants from me a Is it just power, glory, control? Maybe all of the above?

Back to last night. Iave never really seen Sinjin angry before, and that side of him freaks me out. Heas usually the cool, calm, and collected s.e.xy vampire with a smarta.s.s quip for just about everything. But last night he was none of those things. His anger was combustible and so a unlike Sinjin. And that thought leads me to my next: What is Sinjin really like? Maybe the image he shows all of us is completely opposite the person he really is. Why would he be hiding behind a faade, though?

And I still have no idea what his intentions are or what his agenda is. The fact that I have no clue bothers mea"probably more so than it did before. I donat like having a wild card in my kingdom. As the Queen, itas my responsibility to weed out threats and extinguish them. And while I donat and never would believe that Sinjin is a threat to me or my realm, the fact that I donat know what his end goal is or what he wants is, in itself, a threat.

I believe there is an answer. And I believe that answer resides in Mercedes. What does Sinjin want from the prophetess? Why the secrecy between the two of them? As Queen, it is my responsibility to make sure theyare on the up-and-up. Iave got to think beyond myself now, I have to represent the interests of my people a And that is just what I intend to do.

The other day Christa mentioned in pa.s.sing that shead seen Mercedes and Sinjin in a heated argument on the beach just below Kinloch. Even she said she thought their acquaintance odd because she couldnat imagine why (and neither can I, for that matter) Mercedes would have anything to do with Sinjin. Yes, Sinjin could be plotting something and might need Mercedesa a.s.sistance, but why would Mercedes have anything to do with him? Itas not like she needs Sinjina"sheas the prophetess, for G.o.das sake! Unless a could it be that my prophetess and my bodyguard are having an affair?

I feel silly even saying it because itas not like dating isnat allowed among my subjects. I would never fault them for being together or force them to separate. I mean, I donat like the idea of it at all because a I donat know why (well, I probably do but just donat want to admit it).

The more I think about it, though, the more implausible it seems. Would Mercedes really put up with Sinjin? I canat imagine that she would. Mercedes is too strong, too smart, and too powerful to have anything to do with hima"especially not when he so openly flirts with Klaasje. And speaking of Klaasje and Sinjin, I canat help but wonder what the nature of their relationship is.

This is sillya"Iall just drive myself crazy thinking about the what-ifs. And furthermore, none of this (as in the personal-relationships aspect) should bother me because Iave got a new focus for my life, Diary. I donat know that Iave told you, but Iave sworn off men yet again. Yes, there was a short time a few months ago when I swore off anything with a p.e.n.i.s but I guess I wasnat wholehearted in my approach. Well, I am now. Iam wholehearted, decided, absolute, and final in my decision.

I am going to focus all my energies, all my attentions on my kingdom, and Iam going to become the best Queen I can be.

Who knows, maybe Iall even end up on the cover of a Wheaties box someday.