Witchful Thinking Part 10

aI havenat been ignoring you,a he interrupted.

aWhat would you call it? Avoiding me? That works too.a He shook his head. aIave needed time to think, Jolie, to digest everything you told me.a aWell, I hope youave had plenty of time to think about our a bonding.a He stood up and sighed as he walked over to the mantel and leaned against it. He ran his hands through his hair and let his attention drop to the floor before looking at me again.

aI have thought about it a great deal, yes.a He paused. aIt seems to be the only subject occupying my mind lately.a aThen why havenat you at least paid me the courtesy of speaking to me?a I asked, wanting to cut to the chase.

aBecause Iam angry,a he said curtly and his eyes burned with it.

Just then something inside me burst. A dam that Iad been erecting to hold back my emotions gave way and tides of pain and anger roared into me.

aWhy are you angry?a I demanded, crossing my arms against my chest.

aExactly how long were you going to wait before telling me that you were my bond mate?a I gulped, suddenly feeling very guilty. aRand, we arenat bonded now, so at first I figured there was no point in telling you.a aNo point to telling me?a he repeated incredulously. aThat should have been the first thing out of your b.l.o.o.d.y mouth!a aI didnat want to upset you,a I said in a soft voice.

aWhy would you think Iad be upset?a aI was just worried that maybe you wouldnat take it well. I knew how much you suffered when you thought your bond mate was dead. I just didnat think it was a good idea to bring that up again, not when I wanted to focus on our future, on what we could be together.a aI would have come to terms with the information eventually, but now I have to deal with the fact that you kept this to yourself. It doesnat bode well for your role as Queen.a aWhat does my being Queen have to do with this?a aBecause everything you think and do, every action you take is a test, Jolie. A test of your character. How can you hope to be a strong and powerful monarch when you couldnat even admit this to me?a I gulped. aI figured no harm, no foul.a As soon as the words were out, I regretted them.

Rand shook his head and laughed acidly, like I just didnat get it. aNo harm, no foul? Are you kidding?a aNo, Iam not kidding,a I said archly. aRand, I didnat want to tell you because I was protecting you. I was thinking of what was best for you.a aDid you honestly think I couldnat handle the truth? That I wasnat strong enough?a aNo, of course not. I just a just thought you would be happier not knowing. I mean, why would I want to hurt you?a aIave lived through a lot, Jolie, and Iave dealt with ugly situations and uncomfortable truths many times. I can handle anything as long as I know where I stand, as long as there is transparency.a He paused for a second and then shook his head. aI thought you and I were far beyond this, that we respected each other enough to say anything.a aI do respect you, Rand. I just a I just didnat want to hurt you.a aYou should have left that decision to me,a he said and his lips were tight. aIf we donat have honesty between us, what do we have?a aIam sorry,a I admitted and sounded defeated. aI honestly thought I was making the best decision.a aAs Queen, you will be put in much tougher situations and youall be forced to have much more difficult conversations.a aAnd I will handle them when the time comes,a I spat out.

He shook his head and paced forward a few steps, his hands fisted at his sides. aFor over one hundred years Iave had to wake up every morning feeling as if there is something lacking in my life, as if there is a part of me that is empty. Sometimes I lie awake at night trying to remember, forcing myself to conjure up at least one memory of my lover, but of course I never succeed.a He paused for a moment or two and then faced me again. aDonat you think I would have welcomed the idea that this woman was you all along, and she wasnat dead? Donat you think it would have been an incredible consolation to me to know that I was given a second chance?a Some of the anger within me abated as I considered the situation from his perspective. And the remaining anger turned to guilt as I realized this was my fault.

aAgain, Iam sorry.a I shook my head. aI donat know what else I can say.a aYouare not a little girl. Sorry canat erase the fact that you should have respected me enough to tell me.a He turned away and I could see the strain in his shoulders.

aRand, of course I respect you.a I approached him and placed my hand on his shoulder. aI respect you more than anyone I know.a He turned to face me again and lifted my hand from his shoulder, only to release it coldly. aYou have a funny way of showing it.a aPlease, Rand.a aIf you donat mind, Iad like to excuse myself and get back to my a work.a It was like head slapped me. Mortified, I suddenly felt all of two feet tall and quickly shrinking, reduced to mere inches by the man I loved with all my heart. He wanted nothing more to do with me. It was as obvious as the frown on his face.

aRand, this canat be it,a I said in a small voice.

aThereas nothing more to say, Jolie.a aYou arenat the least bit happy to know it was me all along?a I demanded.

He glanced at me again with hardened eyes. aIave been so preoccupied by the fact that you had no intention of ever telling me, I admit, I have found little cause to celebrate.a That was enough for me. I showed myself out, slamming the door behind me. I took the steps two at a time, wanting only to escape, to get as far away from Rand as I could. Things were suddenly crystal clear for me.

My life was no longer my owna"Iad been put into position of Queen even though Iad never fully accepted it. The man I loved didnat support me and probably never would. It was time to take matters into my own hands. It was time to stop taking orders and start giving them. It was time to live my life the way I wanted to and that was exactly what I intended to do.

I lurched backward as Gwynn plunged her blade into my gut. It was strange but I couldnat feel any paina"nothing but numbness. Wrapping my hands around the hilt of Gwynnas dagger, which was protruding from my stomach, I stared up at her in shock. The smile she wore was so cold, so calculating, it sent shivers down my spine. In a split second she burst into ash before me, leaving only Sinjin standing there, panting as he stared at me with eyes that were haunted and pained.

Suddenly I was sinking. I could feel my circulation slowing along with my heartbeat. I didnat have the strength to remain upright, and I hit the ground hard. Then all I was aware of was the feeling of arms enveloping me with the promise of protection. I gazed up into the face of an angel a Rand. He knelt over me, cradling my head in his arms. He was crying.

I tried to say something, to tell him I wasnat afraid and that I loved him, but I could only gurgle as I choked on my own blood. And my eyelids were so incredibly heavy, I couldnat keep my eyes open even though Rand begged me to. It was pretty obvious that I was losing the battle. I let my eyes close and relished the darkness, the feeling that I was suspended in a sea of black a I was glidinga"submerged in what felt like Jell-O, only hot. In fact, the Jell-O stuff was so scorching, it felt like the sting of a thousand pins p.r.i.c.king my skin. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, but the scenery made no sense to my muddled brain.

I was drifting through a river of what appeared to be lava, bright orange, red, and yellow. The acrid scent of sulfur permeated my nose every time the river bubbled up, looking like it was burping. I started to panic, wanting only to free myself from the scalding liquid. I fought against the current, trying to extricate my arms, but it was like trying to free myself from tar. I had a sudden sympathy for the dinosaurs. And like good old tyrannosaurs, brontosauruses, and stegs, I was about to become extinct in a river of molten heat. I had to wonder why I wasnat already dead a Then I felt a drop fall on my head and looked up into what seemed to be the ceiling of a cave, calcified with stalact.i.tes. Dripping off the stalact.i.tes was some sort of black, gelatinous goo. Another drop of the revolting stuff landed on my head and began dribbling down my forehead into my eyes. I blinked against the intrusion, and the inky goo left my eyes to travel down my cheeks, feeling like a snailas trail.

The sounds of shuffling came from above me, and I made the mistake of glancing up again. Plastered on the caveas ceiling were what looked like rows and rows of bat-like creatures. Every now and then they shifted to stretch out their rubbery wings as they stared down at me with glowing red eyes. How Iad missed them before, I had no idea.

I didnat realize Iad screamed until it was too late. Immediately the air was thick with a flurry of winged creatures, dropping from their perches and flying headlong into one another or the cave walls. Some of them fell into the river and got swallowed up with a reeking burp. One of them fell alongside me and, in an attempt to free itself from the lavaas grip, reached out its scaly claws and climbed onto my shoulder, pulling itself out of the ooze like some primordial being. I tried to shake it off but it latched on to my shoulder with rows of tiny, sharp teeth. I could feel their serration as they sunk into my flesh a My eyes flew wide open and I sat bolt upright, still shaking my shoulder to rid myself of the hideous creature. It took me a second or two to realize I was at home in the master bedroom of Kinloch Kirk. I slowly inhaled while rea.s.suring myself that bats with glowing red eyes were not about to consume me.

No, it had merely been a nightmare and nothing in this room had wings or glowing red eyes. Furthermore, nothing in this room was going to eat me a I glanced down at Plum, who was lying just beside me. She stretched and lifted her head, as if wondering what the h.e.l.l had gotten into me.

aSorry, Plummy.a I groaned and shook my head as I thought about the fact that my subconscious must have been seriously stressed out to plague me with a dream like that.

A sudden breeze fluttered into the room and wrapped itself around me before dancing with the drapes on my French doors. A manas shadow suddenly came into view on the balcony and I gasped.

aWho a whoas there?a I demanded, holding my hands together and concentrating on manifesting a ball of energy between thema"something I could unload on the intruder.

He stepped into a ray of moonlight and I immediately recognized Sinjin. I dropped my hands and the blue light of energy Iad been creating fizzled with a pop as the sensation of warm relief suffused me.

aG.o.d, Sinjin,a I started, releasing a deep sigh.

He stood there, silhouetted against the breaking waves of the ocean beyond my balcony, lit only by the moonlight. Pressing his hands on either side of the doorway, he regarded me with an amused smile. aI apologize for frightening you, my Queen.a aNever mind,a I said in an irritated voice. aWhat the h.e.l.l are you doing out there?a With his customary black attire, I found it difficult to see him. aYou need to wear something other than black. You look like a floating head.a Sinjin shrugged with a chuckle. aAs I said, I apologize for intruding but I am merely doing the job for which I was hired.a aWhat?a I demanded, albeit none too graciously.

aI am protecting you, as befits my role of sentry.a I pushed the duvet away and watched Plum jump down from the bed with an irritated meow as she showed herself out of the bedroom. I grabbed my robe from the chair beside me and covered myself. Iad been wearing my usual sleepweara"boy shorts and a short-sleeved tee with nothing on underneath it. I wasnat naked but I also wasnat exactly dressed for company. And it was cold in my room and everyone knows what the cold does to a womanas b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Judging by the look on Sinjinas face, he knew it too.

aWould you prefer I leave?a he asked, prying his attention from my bust back to my face.

I looked up at him and immediately shook my head. After that horrible nightmare, I wanted nothing more than some company, even his. aNo, please stay.a He smiled warmly at my invitation and faced me with a question in his eyes. aVery well. May I come in?a As a vampire, he didnat have to ask permission to enter my abode; he was just being polite.

I nodded and watched him enter my room, his strides purposeful as he walked up to the end of my four-poster bed. He wrapped his hand around one of the posts and I couldnat help but gulp. Even though he looked like he always did, tonight there seemed to be something different about him. I couldnat put my finger on it but he just appeared to be the embodiment of s.e.x. Not that he wasnat always the embodiment of s.e.x, but somehow it was amplified tonight.

aWere you in the midst of a night terror?a he asked in a soft, caring voice.

aYeah, you could say that,a I answered as I approached the fireplace and, conjuring a fire, stood before it, warming myself. I could feel Sinjinas presence behind me, and when I felt his hands on my shoulders I didnat try to elude his grasp. It was as if I needed his strength, his rea.s.surance. Probably realizing I wouldnat fight him, he began to rub my shoulders, ma.s.saging them.

aYou are upset, my Queen.a aPlease donat call me that,a I said quickly, suddenly realizing the appellation of aQueena was something I didnat really care for. I liked it better when he called me apoppeta or even alove.a Even though I had to admit (at least to myself) I didnat like it when he called other women alove.a aCall me poppet please.a He chuckled, no doubt reminded of the time when he and I first met and Iad told him not to call me poppet, that I hated the name. Funny how things change a aVery well, poppet.a He paused and seemed to focus his attention on my shoulders. His grip was strong, to the point of almost being painfula"but not quite. aTell me what is bothering you.a aHow do you know Iam bothered?a aYou wear your tension.a I sighed again, wondering where the h.e.l.l I should start. There was a long-a.s.s list of things that were bothering me and most of them had something to do with the most stubborn, frustrating warlock Iad ever met. Of course, I wasnat about to confide my Rand dilemmas to Sinjin. Iad learned once before that Sinjin couldnat keep a secreta"and Iad learned it the hard way. Granted, the one time I shared my Rand problems with Sinjin I hadnat actually been in a normal frame of mind. In fact, Iad been out of my mind, drugged on Sinjinas blood. Iad opened my big mouth and told Sinjin about the first time Rand and I had nearly bonded and how Rand had suddenly stopped before sealing the deal and had, instead, taken a cold shower. Of course, that situation turned ugly when Sinjin, intending to hurt Rand, announced he would never fail me in bed. So, yeah, long story shorta"Iad learned my lesson and wasnat about to repeat the mistake.

aIam lonely,a I said in a small voice and realized how absolutely true my words were. I was lonely in the depths of my soul, missing Pelham Manor, missing 1878 Rand and my present-day Rand, whom Iad grown to love so well.

aWhy are you lonely, love?a aI feel as if Iam living in a place I donat recognize and becoming something I donat know. I never wanted to be a Queen and yet, here I am, with a crown stuck to my head.a aI see.a Sinjin took a step closer to me until I could feel his thighs brushing against my b.u.t.t. He wrapped his arms around me and I relaxed into the strength of his chest, realizing I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen. I needed a friend.

aI miss Pelham Manor and Christa,a I continued, my voice sounding hollow.

aAnd the warlock, no doubt?a I nodded but said nothing more. I didnat want to think about Rand or I might just turn into a blubbering, ridiculous mess.

aThis is all new to you, poppet,a Sinjin whispered. His breath raised goose b.u.mps along my neck.

aYes itas new, but I donat think thatas the problem.a I paused as I felt his fingers tracing my stomach, underneath my shirt. aBehave please.a He chuckled and dropped his hand, taking mine captive instead.

aIt is difficult now but it will not always be so. Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim.a I turned around and looked at him askance, wondering where the h.e.l.l he came up with this stuff.

He chuckled again. aIt is Latin, from Ovid. Translated, it means: Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you.a I shook my head, suddenly amused by the fact that Sinjin was a complete enigma. I never knew what he was going to say or do. aLet me guess, you used to be a monk or something?a aNot quite, love, although I did and still do have an appreciation for ancient Latin.a I nodded but remained quiet as I enjoyed the feel of his immense hands when they returned to my shoulders and started ma.s.saging me again. I was suddenly struck by the thought that Sinjin could break me like a twig if he wanted to, and yet his touch could also be so comforting, so caring a aSinjin?a aYes, poppet?a aDo you think Iam meant to be Queen?a aOf course.a There was no hesitation on his part.

aWhat I mean is, do you think I can be the Queen that Mercedes needs me to be and the Queen that everyone is counting on?a Sinjin stopped ma.s.saging me and took hold of my arms, turning me around to face him, a look of consternation on his face. It was an expression I didnat recall him ever wearing. aJolie, it is human nature to doubt oneself. That is one of the reasons I appreciate the fact that I am no longer human.a I laughed as he stared down at me and traced the outline of my face. I closed my eyes at the feel of his touch; when I realized what I was doing, I immediately opened them again. Sinjin was so incredibly handsome, so incredibly s.e.xy. I was suddenly shocked that Iad never really considered him as a front-runner in the race for my affections. Of course, I suppose I had in a way, but head always been overshadowed by Rand.

Even now he was overshadowed by Rand.

aYou are a novice and have much to learn,a he continued.

I pried my thoughts away from Rand and back to the question at hand. aIam afraid Iall never learn everything I need to.a He glanced down at me with a smile. aWill your path be difficult? Most probably. Do I believe you can handle it? Most definitely.a He smiled again and leaned into me until I thought he might kiss me. I took a step backward.

aSinjin,a I warned.

He seemed to ignore me and brought his face to my ear, whispering. aYou must trust in yourself, love.a aThank you,a I breathed and felt my heart flutter when Sinjin didnat pull away from me. He was so close, his breath sent shivers up my shoulders. I closed my eyes again. I couldnat help it.

aYou shape the monarchy as you see fit, poppet. Do not be afraid to imprint it with your stamp. Make it your own.a He pulled away from me and clapped his hands together as if his job here was now done. I suddenly felt cold by his absencea"which was strange considering he, himself, was cold. I wrapped my arms around myself and offered him a smile.

aI have news for you,a he said, facing the balcony amid the sound of the crashing waves as they kissed the rocks below Kinloch Kirk.

aNews?a He turned to me and nodded. aBella has agreed to a.s.sist us in reanimating her legion. She will be delivering the names of her dead shortly.a aIs there anything you canat do?a I asked with a laugh. aHow in the heck did you manage that?a He arched his brow at the question. aI can be a persuasive.a I frowned. aCare to enlighten me?a aI offered her two optionsa"a.s.sist us or die.a I just shook my head, actually feeling sorry for Bella. I knew shead harbored a definite attraction to Sinjina"that much had been more than obvious when shead kidnapped me and Iad watched her interact with him. Of course, it was hard to be female and not fall for Sinjin a aWhen did you manage that?a I asked. Bella had only been relocated from Pelham Manor to Kinloch Kirk two days before. She was being held in a guest house set away from the main propertya"still confined by magic and guards.

aEarlier this eve,a Sinjin answered.

aIam impressed.a aI only aim to please, poppet.a He paused. aI will never fail you.a aSinjin,a I began and then was at a loss for words as I thought about the fact that this man had always been there for me. Whenever I needed Sinjin, he showed up at my beck and call. aThank you.a He bowed slightly and turned to leave. aI must feed, love.a I nodded, swallowing down my reaction to the thought of him feeding. Feeding for a vampire could and usually was a very sensual experience. Sinjin was no different. Once he asked if it bothered me when he fed from women and joined them in bed and I had to admit it did. I just prayed he wouldnat ask me that question again.

I escorted him to the door. As he opened it, and stepped outside, I found myself grabbing hold of his arm. He turned around in surprise and glanced down at me with a furrowed brow.

aI think you have a bad rap,a I said and released him. aWhatas more, I think you like having a bad rap.a I swallowed hard, wondering how to say what I wanted to say, wondering if I could get it out. aI just want you to know, I donat believe ita"I donat believe any of the bad things anyone has ever said about you.a aLove aa aNo, youave always been nothing but kind to me and youave always protected me and stood up for me.a I caught my breath, trying to understand where I was going with all of this. aI guess what Iam trying to say is that your friendship means a lot to me, Sinjin.a He arched a brow and studied me in a very detached way, as if my words didnat please him. aYou view the world through rose-colored lenses.a aWhat do you mean?a I asked, taken aback. aWhen someone thanks you for your friendship, Sinjin, itas only courteous to acknowledge it,a I finished with a nervous laugh.

He shook his head, and his gaze was piercing as he stared down at me. aDo not paint me into what you wish me to be.a aI havenat and I donat,a I answered even though I was confused by his response. Why would he fight the notion of being a good person? What was he trying to hide?

aVery good,a he said, but his jaw was tight. He turned to leave but I gripped his arm again, nervously moving my hold down to his wrist.

aExplain what you mean.a He licked his lips and glanced away from me for a few seconds. When he faced me again, his eyes seemed to have darkened in color, seemingly drenched in something that looked like anger or pa.s.sion.

aI am a creature motivated by my own self-interest.a I shook my head. When he attempted to step away from me, I tightened my fingers around his wrist. aThatas what you want me to believe. Thatas what you want everyone to believe but I know it isnat true.a He shook his head but said nothing for a few moments. aThe truth can be painful.a aIf thatas the case, then why are you my friend? What do you want from me?a I demanded and released his wrist, allowing him to retreat, if he so chose. He made no motion to leave and instead eyed me again with his intense expression.

aI do not believe I must make that more clear than I already have, poppet. You already know.a I shook my head and stood my ground. aNo, I donat. I know what you want me to think of you and the image you try to project, but as I said before, I donat believe you.a In an instant Sinjin threw the door closed and pushed me against the wall inside my room. He was suddenly in my face. And he didnat look happy. His hand was around my throat, his fangs protruding.

aI want you,a he seethed and I hadnat even realized his hand was cupping my b.u.t.t until he squeezed it. aI want this.a aSinjin,a I breathed, then promptly forgot what I was going to say.

aI want all of you,a he continued and his eyes were hard as they stared down at me.

Before I could respond, he released me and instantly seemed to regain control of himself again. He opened the door and disappeared into the hallway. It took me a second to catch my breath. Even then, my heartbeat continued to pound inside my breast until I thought for sure Iad pa.s.s out.

After Sinjinas visit, I couldnat fall back asleep. In the morning I found myself replaying the events of the night over and over in my head, trying to make sense of them. I couldnat deny the fact that there was something about Sinjin that drove me wild. He was just so unpredictable and s.e.xy. But at the same time, he was a wild card. And that threw me offa"I was Jolie Wilkins, someone who thrived on routine and preparation. And Sinjin was the opposite of that. He was spontaneous chaos dressed in impulse with just a touch of anarchy. And as if that werenat enough to steer me away from him, there was always Rand.

Rand.

Just thinking of him caused the figurative dark clouds to hover over my head. A macabre feeling had been bubbling up within me like a disease, a feeling that said everything with Rand was over and dead. Any love he had for me had been trampled by my own cloven hooves.

Thoughts of Rand led to thoughts of my 1878 Rand, and I wanted to cry. Iad failed him, failed in the one promise head asked of mea"that he and I would be reunited in the here and now. Suddenly the desire to return to that time when Rand freely and totally loved me and I him suffocated me. I just wanteda"no, neededa"to go back to how things had been a way less complicated and love was all that mattered.

But now that love was dead. I didnat know why, but there was an absolute surety within mea"as if there were no question on the subject. Maybe it was because Iad never seen Rand so upset, so hurt. But Iad also imagined head see the positivea"that I had been the only woman he ever loved. And what about the stupid idea that love outweighed everything else?

Whoever came up with that lie deserved to be shot.

I closed my eyes against the onslaught of sadness that overtook me and fisted my hands as I swore to myself I would shelve this guilt. The situation remained what it was and there was nothing I could do to control or change it. I had to let it go.

Rand would live the way he wanted to live and if that meant he wouldnat support me, wouldnat love me, and wouldnat be with me, then so be it. My responsibilities now were more important than my personal relationships. It was time I stood up and became the Queen I knew I could be. Sinjin was righta"I had strength enough.

At the sound of a knock on my door, I reached over from my stance against the wall and opened it. Mercedes poked her head in and smiled warmly as she entered and closed the door behind her.

aHow do you like Kinloch Kirk?a she asked.

I glanced around my room, with its matching poster bed, armoire, writing desk, and vanity. All of the furniture was made of a light-colored knotty pine, which gave it a natural, rustic sort of feel. But the room was anything but rustic. Its plush white carpet, whitewashed brick fireplace, and the translucent curtains, which danced in the ocean breeze, made it pristine and lovely. It was altogether stunning in its simplicity.

aI love it,a I said. aYou did a great job furnishing it too.a Mercedes beamed and her green eyes seemed to take center stage in her pretty face. She looked like she was twelve years old and had just exceeded her teacheras expectations. It was an expression Iad never seen on her beforea"something that didnat seem to jibe with the centuries-old prophetess. But if anything, it made me fonder of her.

aI am in the process of hiring live-in help to a.s.sist in the daily management of your estate,a she said.

aWhat, like a housekeeper?a Mercedes nodded. aNumerous housekeepers, a cook, and a butler. And of course all those hired will be creatures among your kingdom rather than humans.a aYeah, that makes sense,a I said, thinking about the fact that human help probably wouldnat be okay with the fact that they were living among witches, wolves, vampires, and the fae.

Mercedes cleared her throat as if to say we were now moving on to heavier topics.

aMathilda informed me of the magical shield that was put on you. We believe your gift should have returned. Would you be available to try again this evening?a I nodded, but my thoughts werenat on reanimations at the moment. Instead I reflected back to my conversation with Sinjin. I now felt absolutely sure that I would make this monarchy my own. I was the Queen and as the Queen, I would run my domain as I saw fit. First things first: I needed to make a few announcements.

aMercedes?a She glanced up at me curiously.

aI wish to call a meeting, and it is a very important one. Will you please tell everyone in our kingdom to be here in one weekas time?a aOf course. I will deliver your summons by way of magic.a aI must address my people as their Queen, and I would like you to make my introduction.a Mercedes nodded. aWill you require any help in preparation for this a meeting?a aNo.a I shook my head. aI have it covered.a She glanced at me curiously but her expression could not hide her satisfactiona"as if she was pleased Iad finally stood up to embrace my calling.

aIt is imperative that all creatures are present. Not just their representatives,a I continued.

aYou must have news of some importance?a I nodded. aYes, I have announcements that everyone in our union will need to hear.a Mercedes beamed at me. aIt seems you have finally accepted your destiny?a aI feel I need to take the so-called monarchy reins and now Iam doing just that,a I answered furtively, doubting Mercedes would still be happy once she knew what I was going to say. Well, even she had to wait until our entire kingdom was in attendance. That gave me a week to smooth out my thoughts and write my very first speech as Queen of the Underworld.

aWhere would you like your subjects to a.s.semble?a I shrugged and glanced out my window at the open miles of Scottish moors. aWherever they will all fit. Iall leave the particulars to you.a Mercedes nodded and, with a humble bow, smiled. aI remain at your service.a aThank you.a Instantly I felt like the strong Jolie I knew I could be. It was as if something had evolved inside mea"something tough and angry. Without even verbalizing it in my head, I made a vow to myself to stop being a vacillating monarch. Now I was in it all the way, and I planned to make the throne mine.

aJules?a It was Christaas voice coming from the hallway. I faced Mercedes with surprise.

aAh, yes, I forgot to mention you have a visitor.a aIn here, Chris!a I yelled just as Christa poked her head into my room and glanced around curiously. It was the first time shead been to Kinloch since Mercedes had finished furnishing it.

aThis place is the bomb!a Christa said with a big smile.

Mercedes nodded with a quick curtsy to me and a smile to Christa, and then she left the room, closing the door behind her.

aIam so glad you came to see me!a I embraced my closest friend, who hugged me back, then pulled away and took a look around the room, before throwing herself on my bed.

aAre you loving it here?a she asked.

I thought about the question momentarily before deciding to shelve the negative. I wasnat going to focus on it anymore. From here on out, I intended to be so positive, people might accuse me of taking Prozac.

aIam very happy,a I said, smiling. Then it occurred to me that Christa might like to move from Pelham Manor. aYou know, you can move in with me. You donat have to stay at Pelham Manor with Rand anymore. I know youare his a.s.sistant but a you could always be my a.s.sistant again?a She nodded but it was a half-a.s.sed nod and by the look on her face, there was something she wanted to tell me. aIam, uh, Iam actually moving in with John.a aOh, wow,a I said, shocked. aWhen did he ask you to do that?a She hesitated for a moment or two, then beamed. aLast night. The same time he asked me to do this.a She held up her left hand, where a diamond engagement ring gleamed at me.

aChris!a I screamed, as bolts of surprise and happiness rampaged through me. I flung my arms around her. aYouare getting married?!a aYes,a she said with tears in her eyes. aWe havenat set a date yet.a aIam so happy for you,a I said, tears already streaming down my face. It was the truth, even though I was also enviousa"wishing my life could be as picture perfect as Christaas seemed to be. But I was beyond ecstatic for my best friend a And John was a good guya"well, wolf. aAre you a okay with wolf babies?a I asked, not really sure how to phrase the question.

She laughed and nodded emphatically. aIam okay with all of it, Jules. I love John like Iave never loved anyone before.a aThat is the best news Iave heard all week,a I said. Then I remembered that John was American and so was Christa. My heart dropped. aDoes this mean youare moving back to the United States?a She shook her head. aI told him we have to stay here, that I wonat leave you.a I was quiet for a minute or two as I thought about her words. aChris, you donat have to stay here for me. I appreciate the fact that youare thinking about me but you have to do what is right for you a both.a She shook her head. aNothing you can say will get me to leave you, Jolie Wilkins. You and I are in this together. Weare a team or have you forgotten?a I laughed and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. aNo, I havenat forgotten.a And I truly meant it.

It was the evening of my big day. A cold ocean breeze rustled through the trees, and with the clouds obscuring the full moon, it looked like a spooky Halloween night. Although it wasnat All Hallowas Eve, it was only a matter of minutes before I would have to appear on the balcony of the Green Room of Kinloch Kirk to address my kingdom. I paced back and forth in my bedroom, so nervous it felt as if my heart were trying to best its own record of beats per minute. I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled for ten seconds, after which I took another ten seconds to exhale. Then I remembered the index cards clutched in my hand and flipped through them.

You can do this, Jolie. Itas just a simple speech, I reminded myself.

At the sound of a knock on my door, I glanced up. aCome in.a The door opened and Sinjin entered, dressed in a suit. And, yep, it was black. He offered me a quick bow and a practiced smile. He looked business-like, dapper, and radiant.

aAre you nervous?a he asked.