Wit and Humor of the Bible Part 9

The Psalmist thus speaks of the G.o.ds of the heathen:

"They have mouths, but they speak not; Eyes have they, but they see not; Noses have they, but they smell not; They have hands, but they handle not; Feet have they, but they walk not; Neither speak they thro' their throat."

Having thus described the senselessness and impotence of the G.o.ds of the heathen, he adds:

"They that make them are like unto them, So is everyone that trusteth in them."

In a similar vein Jeremiah ridicules the idols: "For the customs of the people are vain; for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not; they must needs be borne, because they can not go. _Be not afraid of them; for they can not do evil, neither also is it in them to do good._ * * * The stock is a doctrine of vanities."

Isaiah satirizes the idolaters in this fashion: "They shall be turned back, they shall be greatly ashamed that trust in graven images, they that say to the molten images, Ye are our G.o.ds. Hear ye deaf, and look ye blind that ye may see. Who is blind but my servant? or deaf as my messenger that I sent? Who is blind as he that is perfect (in his own estimation), and blind as is the Lord's servant? Seeing many things, but thou observest not; opening the ears, but he heareth not. * * * Who among you will give ear to this and hearken and hear for time to come?"

Ezekiel declares that, on account of their idolatries, the people have become as worthless as a withered vine. Nothing useful can be made out of it. It is only fit for the fire. "What is the vine tree more than any tree, or than a branch which is among the trees of the forest? Shall wood be taken thereof to do any work? or will men take a pin of it to hang any vessel thereon? Behold it is cast into the fire for fuel; the fire devoureth both the ends of it, and the midst of it is burned. Is it meet for any work? Behold, when it was whole, it was meet for no work; how much less shall it be meet yet for any work, when the fire hath devoured it, and it is burned? Therefore, thus saith the Lord G.o.d: As the vine tree among the trees of the forest, which I have given to the fire for fuel, so will I give the inhabitants of Jerusalem."

There is an elaborate piece of sarcasm in the forty-fourth chapter of Isaiah: "He heweth him down cedars, and taketh the cypress and the oak which he strengtheneth for himself among the trees of the forest; he planteth an ash and the rain doth nourish it. Then shall it be for a man to burn; for he will take thereof and warm himself; yea, he kindleth it and baketh bread." The tree which this idolater takes has grown up as any other tree, and after it is cut down, it is devoted to the same ordinary uses. Yet out of that very tree, "he maketh a G.o.d and worshippeth it; he maketh a graven image, and falleth down thereto."

The prophet repeats and amplifies, "He burneth part thereof in the fire; with part thereof he eateth flesh, he roasteth roast and is satisfied; yea, he warmeth himself and saith, Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire; and the residue thereof he maketh a G.o.d, even his graven image; he falleth down unto it and worshippeth it, and prayeth unto it and saith, Deliver me, for thou art my G.o.d."

Then he concludes: "And none considereth in his heart, neither is there knowledge nor understanding to say, _I have burned part of it in the fire; yea, also I have baked bread upon the coals thereof; I have roasted flesh and eaten it; and shall I make the residue thereof an abomination? Shall I fall down to the stock of a tree?_" The idolater does not see, does not "consider" what an abject simpleton he is to make a G.o.d out of the same material with which he bakes bread and roasts meat. It is as if the prophet should say, "What sort of a G.o.d is that, O Israel, with which you do your broiling and baking?"

Robert South comments on this pa.s.sage: "With one part he furnishes his chimney, with the other his chapel. A strange thing that the fire must consume this part and burn incense to that! As if there were more divinity in one end of the stick than in the other; or as if it could be painted and graven omnipotent, or the nails and hammer could give it an apotheosis."

The fatalistic excuse which the people make for their idolatries and other sins, is thus disposed of by Jeremiah: "Behold ye trust in lying words that can not profit. Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other G.o.ds whom ye know not; and come and stand before me in this house which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations? Is this house which is called by my name become a den of robbers in your eyes?"

_Refuges of Lies._

Isaiah charges the rulers of the people with forsaking the word of the Lord, and subst.i.tuting for his truth false maxims and iniquitous precepts.

They refuse to obey the divine commands, and lead their subjects also into rebellion. They have adopted other rules of life than those delivered by the prophets of Jehovah,--other national policy than that promulgated from above. In their overweening pride and self-confidence, they look with disdain upon the requirements of G.o.d. Isaiah represents them as saying, "We have made a covenant with death, and with h.e.l.l are we at agreement; when the overflowing scourge shall pa.s.s through, it shall not come unto us; for we have made lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves." But the prophet warns them that their fancied security shall be broken up. "Judgment also will I lay to the line and righteousness to the plummet; and the hail shall sweep away the refuge of lies, and the waters shall overflow the hiding-place. And your covenant with death shall be disannuled, and your agreement with h.e.l.l shall not stand. When the overflowing scourge shall pa.s.s through, then ye shall be trodden down by it." He pauses a moment, after this strain of invective, and then sarcastically describes the insufficiency of their refuges by another figure, ludicrous enough, that of a man trying to stretch himself upon too short a bed, and to cover himself with too narrow a blanket. "For the bed is shorter than that a man can stretch himself on it; and the covering narrower than that he can wrap himself in it."

_False Prophets._

Ezekiel tells us that the word of the Lord came to him, saying, "Son of Man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel that prophesy, and say unto them that prophesy out of their own hearts, Hear ye the word of the Lord.

Thus saith the Lord G.o.d: Woe unto the foolish prophets that follow their own spirit and have seen nothing. O Israel, thy prophets are like the foxes in the desert. * * * They have seen vanity and lying divination, saying, The Lord saith; and the Lord hath not sent them." These prophets were endeavoring to soothe the people, to cover up their sins, to dissipate their fears of retribution. "They have seduced my people, saying, peace, when there is no peace." Then Ezekiel describes their work.

They are like foolish masons who build a wall with mortar that will not hold the stones together,--"untempered mortar!" Can such work last? Can such a structure stand? "Say unto them which daub it with untempered mortar that it shall fall. There shall be an overflowing shower; and ye, O great hail-stones, shall fall; and a stormy wind shall rend it. Lo! when the wall is fallen, shall it not be said unto you, Where is the daubing wherewith ye have daubed it?" Did ye not boast of your mortar? Did ye not promise the people that it would hold? Alas for you, O prophets! Alas for your work! "The wall is no more, neither they that daubed it; to wit, the prophets of Israel which prophesy concerning Jerusalem, and which see visions of peace for her, and there is no peace, saith the Lord."

Most contemptuously does Isaiah speak of the false prophets: "The Lord will cut off from Israel, head and tail, branch and root, in one day. The ancient and honorable, he is the head; and the prophet that teacheth lies, _he is the tail_."

_The King of a.s.syria._

Isaiah ridicules the high and mighty pretensions of the King of a.s.syria.

That monarch boasts of his achievements. He takes the credit of all to himself. He wears the glory alone. "By the strength of my own hand, I have done it, and by my wisdom; for I am prudent; and I have removed the bounds of the people, and have robbed their treasures, and I have put down the inhabitants like a valiant man." Falstaff could not proclaim his own prowess, in more bombastic style. "I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them two hours together. I have 'scaped by miracle: I am eight times thrust through the doublet; four through the hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hacked like a handsaw.

I never dealt better since I was a man." Now let the a.s.syrian resume his parable: "And my hand hath found as a nest the riches of the people; and as one gathereth eggs that are left, have I gathered all the earth; and there was none that moved the wing, or opened the mouth, or peeped."

Falstaff will match him again: "There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head, but I am thrust upon it. Well, I can not last for ever; but it was always yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common. * * * I would to G.o.d my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is!"

The prophet, after allowing the a.s.syrian to sound his brazen trumpet, turns upon him, and sarcastically reminds him that he is simply a tool, a rod, a staff, in the hands of the Lord, and that he has of himself accomplished nothing: "_Shall the axe boast itself against him that heweth therewith? or shall the saw magnify itself against him that shaketh it?_ as if the rod should shake itself against them that lift it up, or as if the staff should lift itself up as if it were no wood!"

_The King of Babylon._

One of the most powerful pa.s.sages of invective in any literature is that in which Isaiah pictures the fall of the King of Babylon.

He begins--"How hath the oppressor ceased!" Then he sets forth the joy of the earth itself over the discomfiture of him who "smote the people in wrath with a continual stroke." All creation is glad. "The whole earth is at rest and is quiet; they break forth into singing. Yea, the fir-trees rejoice at thee, and the cedars of Lebanon, saying, Since thou art laid down, no feller is come up against us." This is the state of things on earth.

There is commotion in the lower world, there is mockery of the humiliated monarch as he descends among the shades. "h.e.l.l from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming; it stirreth up the dead for thee, even all the chief ones of the earth; it hath raised up from their thrones all the kings of the nations."

The shadowy, ghostly company gather about the fallen potentate and taunt him: "Art thou also become weak as we? Art thou become like unto us? Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols; the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee. How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground which did weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of G.o.d: I will be like the Most High! Yet thou shalt be brought down to h.e.l.l, to the sides of the pit. They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms, that made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof?"

Then the prophet concludes: "All the kings of the nations, even all of them, lie in glory, every one in his own house. But thou art cast out of thy grave like an abominable branch, and as the raiment of those that are slain, thrust through with a sword, that go down to the stones of the pit, as a carca.s.s trodden under feet!"

It is truthfully remarked that "keen thrusts and tingling ironies will rouse the slumbering, startle the stolid, shame the profligate, and set the thoughtless to thinking. While it is true that ridicule is not the test of truth, it is equally certain that it is only by ridicule that many dull-witted and sin-steeped persons can be made to see and feel the truth.

It would be well for mankind in general, if all could be made to feel that wickedness is as contemptible as it is hateful. There is a stupidity in sin, a thick, rhinoceros skin of insensibility, which only the feather-winged arrows of wit can pierce. Iniquity has a pachydermatous hide, and can feel only when coals of fiery ridicule are laid upon its back, and blown by the breath of laughter."

IX. THE USE OF RIDICULE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT.

"If our Savior himself never laughed, it is difficult to believe that the bystanders did not laugh, or at least smile, when he tore the mask from the hypocritical pharisees who laid heavy burdens on men's shoulders which they themselves would not move with their fingers, and devoured widows'

houses, even while for a pretence they made long prayers."--_Matthews._

THE USE OF RIDICULE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT.

"Rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith."--_Paul._

The writers of the Old Testament who used the glittering lances of wit against the foes of truth and righteousness, had worthy successors in evangelists and apostles, and in Jesus himself. These men were indignant at hypocrisy and wrong-doing; they looked with scorn upon the swelling pretensions of the religious leaders; they expostulated with affectionate earnestness and severity with their own brethren who suffered themselves to be led astray. Indignation is not necessarily wrong or unchristian. The faculty of indignation is an essential part of human nature, and when aroused against evil its operations are beneficent. It in no wise diminishes the reverence we feel for Jesus, that he made a scourge of cords and lashed the traders and money-changers from the temple!

Ruskin says, "There is no black horse in the chariot of the soul. One of the driver's worst faults is starving his horses; another is not breaking them early enough; but they are all good. Take, for example, one usually thought of as wholly evil--that of anger, leading to vengeance. I believe it to be quite one of the crowning wickednesses of this age, that we have starved and chilled our faculty of indignation, and neither desire nor dare to punish crimes justly."

This faculty of righteous wrath when it takes shape in irony, ridicule, sarcasm, invective, is the mightiest foe of vanity, hypocrisy, pretension, corruption, and vice. By its sword do they perish. The teachers and writers of New Testament times, did not disdain to use in their work every instrument of power known to the human mind. From their own stand-point, at least, they had many false notions and customs to combat; they had the ignorant, prejudiced, officious and fault-finding to deal with; they were harra.s.sed by narrow and persistent opponents; they had to do battle at every step. They might have exclaimed with a modern writer, "Let us be thankful that we have in wit a power before which the pride of wealth, and the insolence of office are abased; which can transfix bigotry and tyranny with arrows of lightning; which can strike its object over thousands of miles of s.p.a.ce, across thousands of years of time; and which through its sway over an universal weakness of man, is an everlasting instrument to make the bad tremble and the foolish wince."

_The Choice of the Jews._

There is an excellent piece of quiet sarcasm in John's account of the trial of Jesus. He first gives us Pilate's conclusion in these words: "And when he had said this, he went out again unto the Jews and saith: I find no fault in him at all; but ye have a custom that I release unto you one at the pa.s.sover; will ye therefore that I release unto you the king of the Jews?" Pilate is willing; he p.r.o.nounces Jesus innocent; but the crowd clamor and refuse. "Then cried they all again, saying, Not this man, but Barabbas." John closes the account with an inoffensive looking sentence, but one so full of bitter satire, that we can not help thinking of the time when he wished to call down fire from heaven. Jesus is an innocent man--so p.r.o.nounced by the governor--but the Jews cry out for his blood.

They want Barabbas released. And who is Barabbas? Who is this popular idol? Who is the man that the people prefer to Jesus the upright and spotless? With a rapier-like thrust, John pierces the heart of that iniquitous choice, "_Now Barabbas was a robber_." It is a stroke worthy the "Son of thunder."

_The Weakness of Pilate._

But think not, O Pilate, that thou shalt escape. The same hand that cast the first javelin, will also send one to pierce thy heart. In the next chapter, John tells us how, up to a certain point, Pilate sought to release Jesus. He was convinced of his innocence, and did not wish him put to death. But there is a weak spot in Pilate's nature, and John points it out with infallible precision. Pilate is not the man to stand for the right at personal sacrifice. When his own interests are at stake, he will permit injustice and cruel wrong to others. Why does he deliver Jesus to the cross? John is determined that all the world shall know. "The Jews cried out, saying, If thou let this man go, thou art not Caesar's friend; whosoever maketh himself a king, speaketh against Caesar." My lord Pilate is not proof against this insinuation. He can not face the possibility of losing his office. "_When Pilate, therefore, heard that saying, he brought Jesus forth._ * * * Then delivered he him therefore unto them to be crucified." John has stamped Pilate as a weak, vacillating and selfish ruler; and his portrait, marked with these features, has been transmitted to all ages.