Wishes In The Wind Part 13

"Aldridge, let me speak to Nicole alone." Dustin vaulted to his feet, the demand issued of its own accord. "Please," he added, gentling his tone in response to the faint narrowing of Nick's eyes. "Five minutes. That's all I ask. You can pace the length of the hallway and watch the b.l.o.o.d.y clock the whole time, for all I care. But I need to talk to Nicole." He gave Aldridge an exasperated look. "Rest a.s.sured, even I have yet to ravish a woman in five minutes, much less with her father standing outside the door."

Nick's glance flickered to Nicole. "Elf?"

Head bent, Nicole nodded. "It's all right, Papa. I have a few things I need to tell the marquis, as well."

Slowly, Nick stood. "Five minutes." He stalked across the room, pausing in the doorway. "I'll be right outside-in case my daughter needs me," he added with a meaningful glare. As if to further ill.u.s.trate his point, he crossed the threshold and pulled the door partway shut behind him, leaving enough s.p.a.ce to overhear any commotion that might arise.

Dustin wasted not an instant.

"Nicole, about Lanston's comments ..."

"I have no right to judge you," Nicole murmured, staring at her lap. "I apologize for my outburst."

"And I apologize for my past." Dustin took her hand, pulling her to her feet. "How can I convince you those women don't matter?"

"You shouldn't have to. The way you conduct your life is none of my concern." She kept her gaze level with his shirtfront, plainly unwilling to meet his. "I don't know what possessed me to speak to you like that. I'm not normally ill-mannered."

"And I'm not normally an awkward schoolboy. Yet with you, I am. And it is your concern." He gripped her elbows, drawing her closer. "I'm your concern. As you, Derby, are mine." He glanced from the slightly open door to the clock on the mantel. "We haven't much time. Your father is like a b.l.o.o.d.y sentry. So ask me."

"Ask you?" She peeped questioningly up at him from beneath her lashes.

"Yes. Ask me. To kiss you."

"To kiss ..." She looked utterly dazed-and utterly exquisite. "Dustin, we're alone here to discuss our differences-why I react so badly to your way of life, your artificial facade."

He shook his head, tipping up her chin. "No, Derby, we're alone here to reaffirm what happens when you're in my arms, which is the very thing that makes you want to run away, to declare us unsuited for each other. Well, we're not. We're more perfectly suited than you realize. And I don't want you to be afraid."

"I am," she whispered.

"Nicole." He threaded his fingers through her hair, savoring the texture he'd ached to explore. "I won't hurt you. I swear it. Nor am I trying to seduce you. I want more than that from you. But for now, I'll settle for a kiss, a kiss that I vowed not to initiate until-unless-it was what you wanted. Do you want me to kiss you, Nicole?"

A flush stained her cheeks as she grappled with her decision. "Yes," she breathed in a tiny voice.

Dustin's hands were shaking as he gathered her against him, enfolding her in his arms and covering her mouth with his.

He hadn't realized how badly he'd needed her, how desperately he'd wanted to taste her again. Sensations, unknown before Nicole, erupted instantly, submerging him in the same unchartered waters he'd been drowning in since the night they'd met.

Her lips trembled under his, soft and hesitant and so sweet Dustin nearly groaned aloud. He didn't rush her, taking only as much as she offered, contenting himself with damp, chaste kisses that demanded nothing, yet sought more than he could ever explain.

Slowly, like a tentative flower, Nicole's lips parted, opening to Dustin's penetration, silently seeking a deeper joining.

He gave it to her-gave it to them both.

"Nicole." He murmured her name, his tongue sweeping inside to capture hers, to claim every tingling surface before entwining with hers once more. He lifted her closer, melding her against him, possessing her with an urgency that transcended the mere physical, delved down to his very soul. Her taste was heaven, the feel of her-small, delicate, shivering with her own response-more b.l.o.o.d.y right than even his memories could preserve. He enveloped her in his embrace, thinking that just holding her, kissing her like this, was enough to bring him to his knees. It was magic, as unique as her candor, as intoxicating as her beauty.

"Dustin ..." Nicole's hands slid up his shirtfront, then paused, knotting against him as if deciding whether to continue their path to his shoulders or to propel her to freedom-now, before it was too late.

Unwilling to consider the latter, Dustin s.n.a.t.c.hed the choice away, capturing her arms and bringing them around his neck. "Hold me," he commanded, his voice rough with emotion. "Feel what I'm feeling. Dammit, Nicole, don't run away from me."

Her eyes opened-those drowning smoky amethysts-and she stared up at him, her gaze searching, struggling ... losing. In a rush, she relented, whispering his name and leaning into him, her muscles taut with inner turmoil even as she twined her arms about him, kissed him back with all the fervor he longed to awaken.

For one perfect moment they remained as such-locked together, breathing each other's needs, sharing each other's wants.

Then, abruptly, Nicole wrenched herself away.

"This can't happen." She backed off, scarcely able to speak.

"Why?" Dustin own voice sounded shattered, his heart hammering so hard against his ribs that it hurt. "Because your father's in the hall? We'll find another time, another place-"

"No!" Nicole cut him off, shaking her head wildly. "It's not because of my father." Turning away, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to still her body's shaking. "It's because of this." She indicated her fierce reaction. "You want to know why I'm afraid? This is why, Dustin. I'm out of my league, a novice."

"A novice who's made a mockery of every kiss I've ever experienced," he answered quietly. "One who makes me feel things I never imagined feeling."

"Don't say that." She bowed her head, her hair veiling her expression like a black satin curtain. "This can't happen. We can't allow it to happen."

"We can't stop it from happening." He came up behind her, moving her disheveled tresses aside to kiss her nape. "Nor do I want to."

"Dustin, please. Think of who you are. Who I am."

"Who am I, Nicole?" He nuzzled the side of her neck.

She broke away, pivoting about to face him. "A n.o.bleman. My employer." Her lips trembled. "A man who's taken more women than he has races."

"d.a.m.n Lanston!" Dustin erupted, teeth clenched against the impotent rage escalating inside him. He didn't dare shout. The last thing he needed was for Nick Aldridge to come running to Nicole's rescue. "d.a.m.n Lanston," he growled again. "And d.a.m.n his insipid gossip."

"Is it untrue? Exaggerated?"

"Does it matter?" Dustin caught her shoulders. "Nicole, feel me. I'm shaking as much as you are. What difference does it make who I am, how I've lived?"

"Because it does," she answered, wearing that same wistful expression she'd worn the night they'd met, gazing into the starlit skies, tears of emotion glistening on her lashes. "Because I'm an idealistic child who believes in love and fidelity and commitment. Because you live a life that defies every one of those values. Because I refuse to become your next publicly acclaimed paramour or even your discreetly kept one. And, based on all the reasons I've just spouted, because unless we stop this attraction before it's too late, I'll be forced to leave my job and Tyreham-which, as you know, could be disastrous for Papa."

Dustin's thumbs caressed her collarbone, soothing her with gentle, sweeping motions. "I understand your fears. This is all happening very fast. But sweetheart, you've got to trust me. Not only here ..." He brushed his knuckles across her forehead. "But here." His fingertips grazed that part of her shirt that covered her heart. "Give me a chance. Give us a chance."

"There can be no *us,'" she said in a small, shaken voice. "There can only be Lord Tyreham and Alden Stoddard."

"Is that really what you want?"

Silence.

"Honesty, Nicole. You're the one teaching it to me."

Tears wet her lashes. "No, it's not what I want, G.o.d help me. But, under the circ.u.mstances, it's what I must do not only for Papa's sake but for mine. I haven't a choice."

"Yes, you have." Purposefully, Dustin reached into his pocket, withdrew his handkerchief, and tenderly wiped away her tears. "Derby, you do have a choice. Give me the trust I'm requesting. Let me prove to you that I'm not the incurable hedonist you've proclaimed me to be." He framed her face between his palms. "Can you honestly tell me you don't come alive when we're together? Not only when we touch but when we talk? When we laugh? Even when we argue?"

She shook her head. "You know I can't tell you that. I'd be lying." Pride interceded, and her small jaw set. "However, in your case, I'm sure you've enjoyed such sensations countless times in the past."

"Never." His lips feathered across her cheekbones. "Not in two and thirty years. Not with anyone but you."

Her eyes searched his. "I'm terrified," she whispered.

"I'm not. I'm certain. As certain as I am that the sun will set tonight and rise tomorrow. Trust me, Nicole. If I'm wrong, then once I've resolved this mystery and your father is safe, I promise to let you walk away. Intact," he added pointedly. "But if I'm right ..." He smiled, sifting strands of her hair through his fingertips. "Ah, Derby, if I'm right, then perhaps we can right life's wrongs and balance its inequities together."

A soft light illuminated her face. "You remembered."

"Our first conversation? Every word. Every dream in your eyes. Every hope in your smile." He held her gaze. "Give me a chance."

A long pause ... followed by a tiny nod. "I'll try."

Lord, had he ever known such bone-melting relief? "Good. Start by telling me you'll see me again."

Another nod, this one more decisive than the last. "Unless Papa... "

"He won't refuse you. He loves you too much."

"He would if he believed you'd hurt me."

"And do you think he believes that?"

Again, Nicole shook her head. "No."

"Then it's settled." Dustin bent, brushed her lips with his. "Speaking of your father, he's probably about to burst in and toss me out. Besides, I'd best get back to the manor. I need to pack. I'll be away for a day or two."

A shadow crossed Nicole's face. "You're going to see Sully." Her fingers bit into Dustin's sleeves. "Papa told me your plans to bait those horrible men who threatened you. I needn't tell you how dangerous that might be." Frustration laced her tone. "I dragged you into this situation. I came to you looking for a job, and now you're immersed in a dilemma that, by all rights, should be mine to contend with. It's my father they want. I'm the one who should be incurring the risks."

"And aren't you?" Dustin reminded her quietly. "Didn't you take the ultimate risk the day you walked into Tyreham as Alden Stoddard, determined to protect your father at all costs? There are all types of risks, Derby. Yours is greater than most. It requires restraint, selflessness, and a lot more courage than it would take to go charging recklessly out, seeking some unknown enemy who could, in turn, destroy the very man you've vowed to protect." Dustin captured Nicole's hand in his. "Never doubt the importance of what you're doing. It's ultimately you, not I, who is shielding your father."

"I realize that. It's only ..." She swallowed. "Dustin, please ... be careful."

Dustin pressed her palm to his lips. "I will. You just concentrate on readying Dagger for the Derby. I'll concentrate on freeing your father of this noose that's hanging around his neck-and the turf of ruthless criminals who profit off frightened, greedy men. Together, you and I will set things right. Agreed?"

A faint smile. "Agreed."

"Good." Dustin's gaze fell to her mouth. "Now, since we won't be alone together for heaven knows how long, ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"You know d.a.m.ned well what. Ask me to kiss you."

Nicole's smile deepened. "I already did."

"Do so again."

The tip of her tongue wet her lips. "Must it always be my initiative?"

"Today, yes. After today, no b.l.o.o.d.y way. I've fulfilled the terms of that insane promise I gave you."

Shyly, she leaned into him. "Very well. Please, Dustin, kiss me."

"My pleasure, Miss Aldridge."

He fused their mouths for a brief, shattering instant, easing away only when she'd gone weak in his arms. "As of now," he muttered huskily, "the rules have officially altered. I suggest you alert your hopes and dreams to that fact. Tell them I intend to make each and every one of them a reality."

Eight.

"YOU'VE BEEN WHISTLING SINCE you walked in the door," Nick noted, lowering his newspaper. "Who's the cause of your fine mood, Dagger or his owner?"

Nicole flushed, securing the pins beneath her cap as she prepared to return to the stables. "I haven't seen Dustin since he left the cottage yesterday, Papa. By now, he's probably in Suffolk, meeting with Sully."

"I know where he is. But that still doesn't answer my question, now does it?" Nick tossed the paper aside, abandoning all pretense of reading. "You've avoided me since Tyreham took his leave. First, you were exhausted and needed rest-at six o'clock, mind you. You didn't even emerge for dinner, and if you ate breakfast, I never heard you. You were gone by the time I awoke-at sunrise, by the way. You returned a half hour ago, gulped down some food, and are now preparing to bolt again."

"Dagger and I are training for the Derby."

"You needn't remind me. Now, do you intend to answer me? Or are we never going to discuss the marquis?"

Uneasily, Nicole perched on the arm of her father's chair. As always, when it came to Dustin, her thoughts were in a breathless, convoluted jumble. Oh, she'd yearned to share with her father the exhilaration resulting from those five precious minutes in the sitting room. But she'd needed time alone. Time to think, to absorb the significance of the monumental step she'd taken-a step that had transported her from meager resistance to wary acceptance-to relive the transitional moments in Dustin's arms when she'd given up the struggle and yielded the battle.

G.o.d help her if she lost the war.

Long into the night she'd remained awake, sitting up in her bed, arms wrapped about her knees, wishing locket clutched in her hand. Innocent though she was, she understood-perhaps better than Dustin-the extent of what her concession could cost her. By lowering her emotional guard, granting him entry to her life, she was affording him the opportunity to do what Dustin Kingsley did best: charm his way into-and out of-her heart. Just as he had dozens of women in the past.

With one difference. Those women had been raised like Dustin: wealthy, sophisticated, marrying for money, straying-albeit discreetly-for pleasure. There seemed to be a tacit understanding among n.o.blewomen that they remained chaste until their wedding day and then, once married and having presented their husbands with a requisite heir, they could seek amus.e.m.e.nt elsewhere, so long as their indiscretions remained undiscovered. And, in Dustin's case, they were evidently willing to reverse that order, whether to lure him down the aisle or simply because the pleasure was worth more than the sacrifice, Nicole wasn't certain. In either case, the whole prospect was unthinkable to her. The gifting of her body was integrally tied to the gifting of her heart. And her heart could be offered but once, accompanied only by the fervent prayer that it not be shattered.

How, from any perspective, could Dustin avoid shattering it? To begin with, Nicole failed to see any way for him to bridge the gap between them-a gap that, to her, appeared insurmountable, no matter how fervently he professed otherwise. Further, even if he succeeded, what precisely did he want of her? What was Dustin Kingsley's idea of a commitment? For a provincial commoner like herself, there was but one answer: marriage. Was he prepared to offer that? Or did his notion of permanence extend no further than a long-term mistress or lover?

That incited another worry. Dustin had declared he wanted more from her than seduction. Did that mean he planned to await her invitation for lovemaking, just as he had her request for a kiss? Or did it mean he intended to keep himself to chaste kisses and caresses, rather than ask for more? The latter was doubtful. But even if such were the case, did he honestly believe that by sparing her virtue, he'd leave her unscathed when they parted? If so, he was wrong. For even if her body remained intact, her soul would not.

"Nicole." It was her father's no-nonsense tone, one that jerked her back to the present and reminded her of the conversation at hand. "I take it by your silence that you're not ready to discuss Lord Tyreham. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I am. In case you've forgotten, the man left here yesterday with my permission to continue calling on you. And, given that I'm your father-and that every one of my paternal instincts is berating me for my decision-I want your a.s.surance that it was the right one."

"I'm sorry, Papa." Nicole sighed, covering her father's hand with hers. "I never intended to exclude you from my thoughts. I just needed a few hours to sort them out. This is all very new to me." She squeezed his fingers. "First, thank you for granting Dustin permission to continue his visits. I prayed you'd give your approval."

"So I noticed," Nick said gruffly. "Why do you think I relented? And I do mean relented. I'd hardly term it approval." He ma.s.saged his temples. "Lord knows, I'm having second-and third-thoughts. I don't know what possessed me to give in so easily. Just because you looked at me with those pleading eyes of yours shouldn't have been enough to make me welcome Tyreham with open arms."

"No, it shouldn't have." Nicole's lips curved. "Nor was it. Admit it, Papa. You like him."

"You're d.a.m.ned right, I like him. He wouldn't have set foot in here the first time if I didn't-job or no job. Not only do I like him but, for whatever it's worth, I believe he's sincere." A speculative pause. "Apparently, so do you."

She could actually feel her heartbeat accelerate. "Yes, Papa, I do-like him and believe he's sincere. I can't explain why, but I've trusted Dustin from the instant we met. What's more, I can't seem to stop thinking about him nor longing to be in his company." Her lashes lowered. "I, better than anyone, realize that for any one of a hundred reasons, it would be better for all of us if I severed this before it began. The fact is, I can't seem to do it."

"Maybe that's because it's already begun."