Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland Volume XVI Part 15

And by the time the Frenchman fired his first volley, we were ready. The salute was simultaneous and fearful. The enemy did awful execution: five of our gun-ports were torn into one, and several of our men killed and wounded. I have little recollection of what followed for some time--the smoke was too dense for observation, and my exertions in working our gun were too unremitting to allow of extraneous attentions. At length the shot in the locker being expended, I called for more; and, on looking round, saw my companion, James, lying extended behind the gun, bleeding.

There was not one moment to spare--the b.a.l.l.s were supplied as quick as called for--and, at the sight of my wounded friend, my dogged resolution was roused to revenge. I urged those who were still able for duty to redouble their fire.

"Well done, Elder!" said the captain; "you are a n.o.ble fellow."

At this moment, a small splinter struck my hand, as I withdrew the rammer, and almost divided my forefinger and thumb. I plucked it out--the blood poured--but I felt less pain from that source than from my mouth, which was so dry and parched, that I would have given worlds for a drop of water.

"For G.o.d's sake," I cried, "bring me a mouthful of water, for I will not leave my gun."

You may smile at my folly, for who was there to serve me? Yet, patience--the captain, who kept the quarterdeck, as cool as if we had been lying at anchor; nay, cooler, for he was then always finding fault, or in a pa.s.sion--heard me, and taking a lime from his pocket, cut it in two, and put one-half into my mouth, as I was ramming home the charge.

"Here, my lad," said he, "you deserve it, were it a diamond;" and put the other half into my cut hand. The sting of the pain almost made me cry out. He smiled, and said it would cure it; then remarked to the first lieutenant, who had just come up to him, "I have often heard that the Scots fight best when they are hungry, or see their own blood; there is an instance; look at Elder's hand, and see how he works at his gun."

At this moment I heard a crash--it was our foremast nearly gone by the board.

"These Frenchmen fire well," he said, with the greatest coolness.

"That stroke is very unfortunate," replied the first lieutenant; "but it cannot last long."

"No," said the captain; "they must either strike soon, or blow us out of the water. How is my ship below."

"Much cut up, sir; but our remaining hands work their guns well. The enemy must have suffered severely."

I can convey no impression of the calmness with which these few words were spoken in the middle of this carnage and noise. We had already, as I afterwards learned, been engaged two gla.s.ses. All conception of the time, from the first broadside until the last gun was fired, seemed to have been banished from our minds. Scarcely had the conversation between the captain and lieutenant finished, when the Frenchman's mizzenmast fell forward, their fire began to slacken, and we, in a clear interval, could see a bustling on board.

"Boarders, arm," shouted the captain; then, in a lower voice, to one of the officers--"They are either going to run for it, or board us; were our rigging not so much cut up, she might be ours." It was at this moment he first showed his impatience:--"Aim at her rigging," he cried--"she shuns the contest--ten guineas to the gun that disables her;" but her sails began to fill, and she bore away before the wind, leaving us too much disabled to follow her.

When the first firing ceased, I felt so fatigued and faint, from the loss of blood and the pain of my hand, that I leaned upon my gun, almost incapable of exertion. A double allowance of grog was now served out to the survivors. I felt revived, though still unable for duty, and went to the c.o.c.kpit to see James, who had been carried there, and to have my own hand dressed. A c.o.c.kpit scene has been often described, but description is a burlesque of the reality. We had twelve killed, and twenty wounded, more or less severely. I found my poor friend lying upon a mattress, calm and resigned--no groan or sob escaped him. One of his legs had been broken and cut by a splinter, and there was a wound from a musket-ball in his shoulder. Both had been dressed by the surgeon, who was a humane, active, and skilful man. When my own scratch was cleaned and dressed, all my attention was bestowed upon James and others. An hospital was rigged out, and every care humanity could suggest paid to the wounded; and our otherwise austere captain was as mild and kindly by the side of the victims as a nurse. James lay, for the most part, silent and in deep thought. When he did speak, it was of indifferent subjects; and, to my frequent inquiries how he felt his wounds, he replied, that they engaged not his thoughts further than that he feared he might recover.

"That I do not wish," said he. "It is long since I received the wound that is destined to prove mortal, independently of these disruptions of the flesh, which merely confine me to this sick-bed, and are come rather as a remedy. Elder, think not I am ungrateful for your kindness: I thank you from my heart. There is one favour you must promise to do me; and I feel a.s.sured I may trust you."

"Name it," answered I; "and if I should die in the attempt, I shall not fail to do all in my power to accomplish your smallest wish." He pressed my hand, which was grasped in his.

"Enough, Elder," said he; "all I request is easily done; yet I was not the less anxious to find one whom I could confide in. As soon as this oppressed heart ceases to beat, you must take this locket and ring"--and he uncovered his bosom, upon which they lay, besmeared with his blood.

Smiling, he continued: "The blood is a proper envelope for them; and I am only so far happy that I was not killed out-right--for then they might have fallen into hands which would have done them no justice.

These baubles and I must be forgotten together, whether I die here at sea, or survive until we reach Jamaica. You must, when I am to be consigned to my abode of peace and rest, place them where they lie at present. You will do this for me?"

I pressed his hand, for words were denied me. My tears fell upon his pale face, as I stooped to kiss his forehead; a sigh was all that pa.s.sed between us; but our eyes told more than our lips could have uttered. I left him alone, to enjoy his own reflections, and went upon deck. In a few hours the surgeon's worst fears were realised; teta.n.u.s came on, and he died the following morning in my arms. I fulfilled his last request, and his body was launched into the restless ocean on the day before we reached Kingston. His man-of-war's name, as the seamen call it, when one--a different from their real one--is a.s.sumed for any reason that requires concealment, was James Walden, by which he was rated in the ship's books. Next day, when his effects, scanty as they were, were put up for sale, I bought a small prayer-book, which I had often seen him use, for less money than I have seen a few needles and a little thread bring at the mainmast. Amongst all that he possessed, there was not a single sc.r.a.p of paper, or anything by which I could be led to guess who he was. On a blank page of the prayer-book there was written, in a small, beautiful female hand, "Matilda Everard;" but whether it was written by the individual he had once mentioned in his sleep, or some other, it was impossible to say.

We had spoken, on our return to Jamaica, several merchant vessels, so that the account of our action with the French frigate was before us. We were, accordingly, received as conquerors--the sailors complimented in the streets, and our officers invited to all entertainments. As for myself, I felt alone after the loss of my friend, and fretted a little at the news of peace not having been yet received. I had not yet called my father's political sagacity in question. It was now the month of September; our frigate was once more, if possible, in better trim than she was before the action; we had our water on board, and everything ready for sea to cruise amongst the French islands. All was joy and hope of prize-money. We were to have sailed next morning, when the accounts of Admiral Howe's glorious victory of the first of June arrived, when all became a scene of excitement and exultation. Salutes were fired; every vessel was hung with as many flags as she could muster, along her stays, from the bowsprit to the taffrail. Kingston was to be illuminated in the evening; and we requested leave, and were allowed, to have an illumination on board of our ship. My spirits recovered in some degree--every one was of opinion that the republicans of France never could recover the blow they had received--my father's prediction was verified--and I would soon be free, and at home. During the afternoon, which was as lovely as a warm day in Jamaica can be, all was bustle on board, each mess procuring candles, and each striving who could exhibit the greatest number. The ingenuity of one of our number was exercised on some empty barrels, which, with their bottoms pierced, filled with lights, and placed opposite the port-holes, shamed the bottles and candles of the others, and gave us the victory. Just before sundown, all was ready. As soon as all the candles were lit, every port was opened; and our little frigate and the other ships of war produced a sight truly beautiful--sitting upon the waters, which reflected the glare like glowing furnaces, and sending all around their so regular and intense beams. Meanwhile our decks were crowded with dancers, who, footing it away to the music of our fiddles, exhibited, in the strange mixture of white European and dark Kingston girls, all brought out in full relief by the lights, one of the most extraordinary scenes I had ever seen. At a late hour the lights were doused, and all was as still as death; and the late refulgent vessels floated a number of black ma.s.ses under the moonbeams.

Next morning found us under weigh, and the Island of Jamaica sinking under our stern. I missed my friend sadly, having formed no new intimacy; for there was not one on board, in my estimation, to supply his place. He had formed my mind for higher enjoyments than could have been relished or shared with me by any of my shipmates; yet we had on board a ma.s.s of talent, in all its variety, debased, no doubt, by evil pa.s.sions and low dissipation. There were, indeed, among us some rough but honest, unsophisticated children of nature; but they were like jewels dug from the mine, placed in a package with flints, and shaken on a rough road, losing by attrition their asperities, but taking no polish. A few, too, there were who had, with care, been bred by their parents for higher objects, but had sunk from their station, by vice and folly, even to a lower level than the standard of our crew. I had thus small choice, and fell back on the memory of the pleasures I had enjoyed in the conversation of my friend. We had been out from port about three weeks, without seeing anything save one or two of our merchant ships, and one from Liverpool bound for New York, with pa.s.sengers, from the latter of which we impressed six stout young men, who were on their way for the New World. Such are the miseries of war, that liberty is invaded and all human ties severed by the necessity it engenders. The case of one of these young men was truly hard. He was on his way to New York, to take possession of some property left him by an uncle, who had died there the year before; and his intention was to remain and settle upon his late uncle's farm. A few days before he had left his native village, in Ayrshire, with a young woman whom he had long loved, and at last married. Their all had been expended in their pa.s.sage money and outfit, but young hope, love, and joy, were the companions of their voyage, until our boat, under the command of our second lieutenant, appeared as the demon that was to put these to flight. The crew and pa.s.sengers were mustered upon the deck, and many forced from their hiding-places, where they had stowed themselves away below among the cargo. George Wilson (for that was his name), fearful for his Jane, had remained by her side; he was ordered into the boat; his supplications were as nothing; and the tears and agonies of his young wife, if possible, less. It is a fact worthy of the consideration of the philosopher, that the actions of men, forced to perform an unpleasant duty, are often fretted into greater harshness by appeals to feeling. We were short of hands, and, goaded by necessity and duty, I verily believe that some who seized the youth more sharply when he was attempted to be taken from them by the female, would not have been slow to weep for her in other circ.u.mstances. There was another case not less cruel--that of an only son of a family, called Grant, who were emigrating, consisting of a father and mother, two sisters, and this young lad, their hope and stay. He too was ordered into the boat. I noticed the two as they came up the ship's side. It is seldom that human nature is exhibited under such circ.u.mstances of trial. Description, in such cases, is almost impertinent. It may be doubted if the young men themselves are then conscious of one-half of the evil that had befallen them: they were stupid with despair.

But I did not know what was awaiting myself. Some few days after this event, we were standing under easy sail, listlessly gazing over the immense expanse of waters, with all eyes sharp for a sail of some kind or other, to break the monotony of our listless life. The look-out from the mast-head sang out--

"Sail, ahoy!"

"Where away?" cried the officer on duty.

"Nor-west, on our lee-beam."

"Can you make her out?"

"Nay, sir; she is yet hull down; but she appears English rig, as her top-royals rise out of the water."

"Stretch every inch of canvas; haul taut," cried the officer.

And her bows were crowded by the anxious seamen. There was now an object to engage their attention, while the captain and officers kept their gla.s.ses steady in the direction pointed out. In a short time, the points of her masts and sails began to appear above the horizon, like black patches, where the bounding line between the ocean and sky terminates.

We continued our progress for several hours, manifestly not making fast on her; yet we could see that her sails rose almost imperceptibly out of the water. She kept her distance so well that the captain became excited and piqued. The wind blew pretty fresh, and we were both on a wind. She was now made out to be either a privateer or a merchant vessel; but her superior sailing led strongly to the opinion that she was the former.

Our deck guns were now run aft to raise our bows, and every effort that skill could put to account was tried. Still we gained but slowly upon her; and the afternoon was far advanced without our being satisfied of more than that she was an enemy; for she must have seen us for some hours, and our ensign was flying at our royal mast-head. Now great ma.s.ses of gorgeously-coloured clouds began to gather around the brilliant luminary in the far west. It was close upon sundown, when the darkness almost immediately follows in the twilightless lat.i.tudes. The tall masts of the chase were between us and the brilliant scene, like a dark spirit crossing the path of heaven. The captain, striking the bulwarks of the quarterdeck with his hand, said aloud--

"I'd give a hundred guineas to have her within range of my long eighteens at this moment, or when I shall see your beams again in the morning." He looked to the broad disk of the sun, which was just sinking in the dense ma.s.s of resplendent clouds, while his last rays shot like long broad ribands over the edge of the highest, and undulated upon the long swell that was raised by the breeze, which covered its top with ma.s.ses of white foam, resembling flocks at play in an immense meadow.

Anxious to obtain the last glance of this magnificent panorama, I had got upon the nettings in which the hammocks are stowed, and stood so long holding on by the mizzen-rattlins, absorbed in pleasing dreamy thoughts, not unmixed with regret, that it was quite dark before I was conscious of the change. My mind had again turned in upon itself, and the lovely harvest nights of my regretted home came before me, more chastened in their grandeur, but not the less lovely on that account.

Wilson and Grant were conversing in whispers near the spot where I stood, talking of their blighted hopes, as if they felt that nature, in the grand aspect she now exhibited, looked lovely in mockery of their woes. We still held on as we had done through the afternoon--the surges rising and sprinkling our foredeck as we pa.s.sed swiftly through the waters, urged on by an increasing gale. Weary of my position, I was in the act of descending to the deck, when, by some accident, I lost my hold, and fell overboard, striking against the dead-eyes, and wounding my tongue so severely in my fall that it was bit through. When I rose to the surface, stunned and confused, the water was hissing in my ears, and my mouth full of blood. I attempted to call out for help; but my efforts were vain. My tongue was unfit for its office; I only uttered unintelligible sounds, not to be distinguished amidst the noise of the waves. Still hope was strong in me, for I could hear the cries on deck, "A man overboard!" though I could distinguish no object in the darkness.

The sounds became faint and more faint. The vessel's way was so great, she shot from the spot like a bird; and I could at intervals see the lights that they had hung out as I rose to the top of the waves, which I buffeted with all my energies. The frigate had evidently laid to. I strove to make for the lights. I saw, far astern, a boat had been lowered, and hope again braced my nerves. Could I have called out, I had been saved; for I heard their voices shouting for me, and even the plash of their oars; but I was dumb. My tongue had almost instantly swelled so as to fill my mouth; yet still I struggled amidst the waves to reach the source of the sounds. At that moment they could not have been many yards distant from me, if I could have judged from the distinctness with which I heard them call. At last they ceased for a few minutes, as if in consultation. Moment of horrid agony! I was in the grasp of inevitable death, and those who were anxious for my rescue were within hail, and that hail I could not utter. The struggle for life is not easily terminated, and my exertions were almost superhuman. A flash, and the report of a gun now fell on my ears, and it came as my doom; it was a signal for the boats to return. I felt as if my arms had become powerless. My heart failed, and I was sinking, when again the stroke of the oars revived me. Again I attempted to shout--vain effort! "Poor Elder!" I heard uttered by my shipmates, amidst the sweltering of the waves that were about to engulf me. The oar-dip gradually died away--and where was I?

Tired and exhausted, and almost suffocated by the water and blood that flowed from my tongue, I turned upon my back, but sunk deep in the water from the weight of my jacket and trousers, and thus floated at the will of the swell, that often almost turned me over. I attempted to pray, but could not collect my thoughts. All I could say was, "Lord be merciful to me--a sinner!" I almost felt as if already dead; for all energy had fled, both mental and bodily; and the little I did to place me on my back, when the surge turned me over, seemed the involuntary efforts of sinking nature. In this state I was aroused from my stupor by my coming in contact with a hard body. I stretched forth one of my hands, which had been crossed upon my breast, and grasped it with the energy of despair. It was a large hencoop, which had been thrown over in the hope that I might reach it until the boat arrived. New life began to revive in my heart. I got upon it; and, taking my silk neckerchief from my neck, which I fortunately had on when I fell, lashed myself to it. My thoughts now became, in some degree, collected, and a slight beam cheered the gloom of that fearful night, as I floated, a miserable speck of human nature, on that boundless, unfathomable waste of troubled waters. I thought that I was not forgot by my Creator, who had in his mercy sent me this a.s.surance in my last extremity, frail as it was, to be the means of my deliverance. It was now that my whole soul poured forth in prayer; and tears, not of anguish, but of love and grat.i.tude, flowed from my eyes, as I was drifted along before the wind, and tossed by the waves. Through that long and dreadful night, nothing but this pious feeling could have sustained me; for my limbs were benumbed and cramped; my tongue still almost filled my mouth, and pained me.

Day at length dawned; but it did not bring with it renewed hope. I had prayed and longed for it, in the expectation that I might be seen and picked up by some vessel; but my heart did not rise in my bosom as the beams of the sun shot over the waters around me. No sight met my eyes but the sky, bounded at a short distance around by my low position in the water. The breeze had considerably abated, the sea was much smoother, and the fears of a lingering death by hunger and thirst began to a.s.sail me. As the morning advanced, my faith in my deliverance began to fail, and terrible thoughts crowded upon my mind. I tremble yet when I revert to them. It seemed as if the great tempter of mankind had been with me in this hour of trial, and whispered in my ears thoughts foreign to my nature. I even began to doubt the mercy and goodness of G.o.d; despair was again busy with me, and my clasp-knife suggested a short and ready remedy for my misery. I clutched it in my hand, and opened it; but my hand was stayed; my feelings had again undergone a revolution. I dropped the instrument, and wept. I now thought I heard a rushing sound in the air, and looked up. An immense albatross, with his huge extended wings, was suspended over me, attracted by the strange sight I exhibited. In any other situation, would I have been alarmed at the sight of a bird? Now, my heart sunk when I saw the creature circling high above my head. I thought he was examining the object previous to his pouncing upon it. I thought he might strike my head, and my woes would be ended: he might alight, and tear me piece by piece with his strong-hooked bill. The terror of the waters was merged in that of my new enemy; and such is man, that, though I had reconciled myself to the one, I felt my courage and resolution rise within me when I saw a visible and tangible enemy to grapple with. His circles round me became more and more narrow; and, as he descended, I seized my open knife. This precaution was, doubtless, unnecessary. The bird probably only wanted to ascertain what strange inhabitant of the waters now appeared to it.

Still, however, it kept up its surveillance, receding now by large circles, and again approaching me, only again to betake itself to a greater distance, and again to renew its approach. I cannot tell how long this continued: but a full hour, at least, must have pa.s.sed--during all which time I remained under the unaccountable apprehension that I would, unless I defended myself, fall a victim to this gigantic bird of prey. At length he took a long sweep, and I saw him sailing away on his solitary journey, as if he despised the poor object he had left alone on the waste of waters.

From the scorching rays upon the exposed part of my body, I began to suffer much, and my thirst became excessive; my strength gradually declined, and by the time the sun reached his meridian, I had again made up my mind to my fate, commending my soul to its Maker, through my Redeemer. I closed my eyes, as I thought, for ever upon all earthly things. I had lain thus only a short time, when, raising myself up as far as I could upon my raft, and gazing around upon what I thought was to be my tomb, an involuntary cry of joy burst from me. There was a vessel in sight; my weakness and misery were forgot. I saw them lower a boat; and from that moment my mind became a tumult of thoughts and sensations, which I have often since attempted in vain to a.n.a.lyse. The horrors of my late situation were still upon me, and I could with difficulty persuade myself that my delivery was real.

So exquisitely soothing was the feeling that now possessed me, that I feared to open my eyes or move, lest I might break the spell that was upon me, and awaken in the misery I had so lately endured. But I even tired of enjoyment, for my position became irksome. I attempted to turn, but the effort was so painful, that a groan escaped me. A gentle hand wiped the perspiration from my brow, and inquired if I wished to be turned. The sound of that voice was like a beam of light upon my bewildered mind. I opened my eyes, and saw a young female in widow's weeds standing by the side of my cot.

"Generous being," I said, "is it to you that I owe my deliverance?"

A sad smile pa.s.sed over her face as she gazed at me, and said, "I am happy to see you restored to recollection; but you must not speak." And she gently withdrew from the side of the cot.

I wished much to make inquiries; but felt so weak that I did not persist, but sunk again into the same dreamy state. It is of no use detailing the events of the few days that were pa.s.sed in this helpless state. By the kind nursing of the female and the kindness of the captain, I slowly recovered, and learned that, by the merest accident, I had been discovered by them as I floated upon the waves; and that, had I not been seen to move when I had raised myself up, they would have pa.s.sed me; and that I was now on board the Betsy and Ann of Leith, bound from Quebec to that port. My heart overflowed with love and grat.i.tude to that merciful G.o.d who had delivered me; for what the kind captain called accident, I felt in my heart was his loving-kindness; now I firmly believe there is no such thing as what men call chance or accident. We are taught by Scripture that all things are ordered and directed by the Creator of the universe, from the fall of a sparrow to the fall of an empire; and, in the eye of Omnipotence, nothing is great or small, all being directed to one great end.

I was now able to leave my cot for a short time, but not the cabin. The young widow was ever by my side, to minister to my wants. I felt much for her sorrows, which she bore with pious resignation; but I had no power to minister to her comforts as my grat.i.tude prompted me, when I observed her, as I lay in my cot, weeping in silence, when she thought me asleep. It was the third day after I was picked up, as I sat in the cabin, and felt myself much recovered, that I gave her an account of my leaving home, and my adventures since. She sat and listened with interest, and seemed much affected by my account of my friend, James Walden. She sighed heavily as I proceeded, and her tears fell fast. When I mentioned his untimely death, she uttered a piercing cry, and fell insensible upon the floor. I cried loudly for help; and her servant and the captain, who were on deck, came quickly to my aid. After some time she recovered, but was so ill that she was forced to be put to bed by her maid. Her mind seemed quite unsettled by what I had said of my friend's death; for she spoke strangely and incoherently, unconscious of what she uttered; often repeating, "James, I shall never see you more.

How could I hope? I wished, but dared not hope, humbled as I was--yet frown not on me so; I am more to be pitied than hated." Thus she continued during the greater part of the day.

Towards evening, she became more composed, but was so ill that she could not leave the state-room without the support of her servant, which she did contrary to the remonstrances of the captain; only replying--

"What is life now to me but a dreary blank? O that I were at rest under these rolling waves! O Mr Elder! have you strength to tell me all you know of James before my heart bursts?"

I could myself have wept; but her eyes were dry, yet heavy and languid; her face pale as marble, with a ghastly composure upon it, more heart-moving than clamorous grief. Again I went over every circ.u.mstance, and concluded by regretting the prayer-book, as the only article I valued, left on board. She heard me the second time without altering a muscle of her face. When I finished, she said--

"I was Matilda Everard; these fingers wrote the name upon the prayer-book, which I gave to James Everard, my cousin. Walden was the name of his mother; he was an orphan, the ward of my father; I am an only daughter. We were brought up together. I was my father's only child--an heiress; he had little more than his own abilities to depend upon. I was a spoiled child, thoughtless and volatile. I loved him then as a brother. He was some years older than I; he loved me as never man loved woman. I sported with his misery; for I knew not love. My father discovered his pa.s.sion, and banished him from the house. I regretted him as a brother--no, not as a brother--as a playmate. His feelings of honour were so high, he took no covert means to meet me again; but I saw him often at church, and elsewhere. I used to kiss my hand to him; but we never exchanged words. Urged by my father, I married a rich merchant.

He was much older than I. The cold, haughty, and money-making habits of my husband first turned my thoughts to James. I contrasted the joy that used to beam in his eyes, when I smiled upon him, with the indifference of my husband; and my love, once that of a sister, became all that James could have desired, had I been still a maid. Upon my marriage, James disappeared. Neither my father nor any one else knew where he had gone.

It is now three years--long, long years--since then. Circ.u.mstances called my husband to Quebec, that, if not looked after, might involve him in ruin. Jealous and morose, he took me with him. Months of misery I dragged on there. My husband sickened and died. I am now on my way to my father; but I feel we shall never meet. My heart, I feel, is broken, and life ebbs fast. Farewell! and may you be blessed for your kindness to James. Bury me in the waves; I long to sleep by his side."

Having taken farewell of the captain, she retired, and we never saw her again in life. Some time after, agreeable to her request, she slept with James under the waves of the Atlantic. For some days I was much affected by the melancholy event; but my spirits, with my health, gradually returned. A few weeks more would bring me to my father's house, and I resolved never again to trust to any political prognosticator, even of my own father, for I had never known him so much deceived before. I had been eighteen months away, and the war, so far from being over, was, if possible, fiercer than ever; and the democrats of France were carrying murder and desolation wherever their armies went.