Wild Oats Part 19

_Sim._ He, he, he! you've now given my heart such a pleasure as I never felt, nor I'm sure feyther afore me.

_Banks._ But, Sim, whatever may be his opinion of worldly prudence, still remember he's your parent.

_Sim._ I will--"One elbow chair, one claw table." [_Exit, writing, and_ BANKS.

_Enter_ AMELIA.

_Amelia._ The confusion into which Lady Amaranth's family is thrown by the sudden departure, and apprehended danger of her young cousin, must have prevented her ladyship from giving that attention to our affairs, that I'm sure was her inclination. If I can but prevail on my brother too, to accept her protection--I can't enjoy the delights of her ladyship's hospitable mansion, and leave him here still subject to the insults of his churlish neighbour--Heavens! who's this? [_Retires._

_Enter_ ROVER _hastily, his hair and dress much disordered_.

_Rover._ What a race [_Panting._] I've at last got from the blood hounds! Ah, if old Abraw.a.n.g had but followed and backed me, we'd have tickled their catastrophes; but when they got me alone, three upon me were odds, so, safe's the word--who's house is this I've dash'd into?--Eh! the friendly cottage of my old gentleman! Are you at home?

[_Calls._] Gadso! I had a hard struggle for it; yes, murder was their intent, so it was well for me that I was born without brains, I'm quite weak, faint! [_Leans against the wall._]

_Amelia._ [_Advancing._] Sir, an't you well? [_With concern._]

_Rover._ Madam, I ask pardon,--hem, yes, ma'am, very well, I thank you--now exceeding well--got into a fray there, in a kind of a hobble with some worthy gentlemen; only simple, honest farmers. I fancy mistook me for a sheaf of barley, for they down with me, and then thresh'd so heartily, gad, their flails flew merrily about my ears, but I up, and when I could no longer fight like a mastiff, why, I--run like a greyhound--But, dear ma'am, pray excuse me. Egad, this is very rude, faith.

_Amelia._ You seem disturbed, [_With emotion._] will you take any refreshment?

_Rover._ Madam, you're very good.--Only a little of your currant wine, if you please; if I don't forget, it stands--just--[_Points_--AMELIA _brings some from a beaufet._] Madam, I've the honour of drinking your health. [_Drinks._]

_Amelia._ I hope you're not hurt, sir.

_Rover._ "A little better, but very weak still"--I had a sample of this before, and liked it so much, that, madam--"Won't you take another?"

_Amelia._ Sir!

_Rover._ Madam, if you'd been fighting, as I have, you'd--well, well, [_Fills and drinks._] now I'm as well as any man--"In Illyria," got a few hard knocks though.

_Amelia._ You'd better repose a little, you seem'd much disorder'd coming in.

_Rover._ [_Places a chair, and both sit._] Why, ma'am, you must know thus it was--

_Enter_ SHERIFF'S OFFICER.

_Off._ Come, ma'am, Mr. Gammon says this chair is wanted to make up the half dozen above. [_Lays hold of_ AMELIA'S _chair, she rises terrified_.]

_Rover._ What, what's all this?

_Off._ Why the furniture's seized on execution, and a man must do his duty.

_Rover._ Then, scoundrel, know, that a man's first duty is civility and tenderness to a woman.

_Amelia._ Heavens! where's my brother? This gentleman will bring himself into trouble.

_Off._ Master, d'ye see, I'm representative for his honour the High Sheriff.

_Rover._ Every High Sheriff should be a gentleman, and when he's represented by a rascal, he's dishonour'd.--Dem it, I might as well live about Covent Garden, and every night get beating the watch; for here, among groves and meadows, I'm always squabbling with constables.

[_Whips up a stick from a corner of the room, and holds it behind him._]

_Off._ Come, come, I must--

_Rover._ "As you say, sir, last Wednesday, so it was"--Sir, your most obedient, humble servant--[_Bows respectfully._] Pray, sir, may I take the liberty to know, have you ever been astonished? [_With great ceremony._]

_Off._ What?

_Rover._ Because, sir, I intend to astonish you; my dear fellow, give me your hand. [_Takes his hand, and beats him_--] Now, sir, you are astonished?

_Off._ Yes; but see if I don't suit you with an action.

_Rover._ "Right, suit the action to the word, the word to the action;"

"See if the gentlewoman be not affrighted"--"Michael, I'll make thee an example."

_Off._ Yes, fine example, when goods are seized here by the law, and--

_Rover._ "Thou worm and maggot of the law!" "Hop me over every kennel, or you shall hop without my custom."

_Off._ I don't value your custom.

_Rover._ You are astonished, now I'll amaze you.

_Off._ No, sir, I won't be amazed--but only see if I don't--

_Rover._ Hop!

[_Exit_ OFFICER _muttering and bullying, yet frightened_.

Stop, ma'am, these sort of gentry are monstrous bad company for a lady--So I'll just see him to the door, and then I'll see him outside the door.--Ma'am, I'm your most obedient humble servant. [_Bows respectfully, and exit hastily_.]

_Amelia._ I feel a strange curiosity to know who this young gentleman is. I find my heart interested, I can't account for--he must have known the house by the freedom--but then his gaiety, (without familiar rudeness) native elegance of manners, and good breeding, seem to make him at home any where.--My brother, I think, must know--

_Enter_ BANKS _hastily, and agitated_.

_Banks._ Amelia, did you see the young gentleman that was here? Some ruffian fellows, and a posse of the country people have bound and dragged him from the door, on the allegation of three men, who mean to swear he has robbed them; and they have taken him to Lady Amaranth's.

_Amelia._ How! He did enter here in confusion as if pursued; but I'll stake my life on his innocence. I'll speak to Lady Amaranth, and in spite of calumny, he shall have justice--he would not let me be insulted, because he saw me an unprotected woman, without a husband or a son, and shall he want an advocate? Brother, come. [_Exeunt._

SCENE IV.

LADY AMARANTH'S.

_Enter_ JANE, _with a light_.

_Jane._ I believe there's not a soul in the house but myself; my lady has sent all the folks round the country to search after the young 'squire, she'll certainly break her heart if any thing happens to him; I don't wonder, for surely he's a dear, sweet gentleman: the pity of it is, his going spoils all our fine play, and I had just got my part quite by heart; however, I must do the room up for Mr. Banks's sister, that my lady has invited here. [_Adjusts her toilet._