What Color Is Your Parachute? Part 15

I Am a Person Who ...

Has a Certain Goal, Purpose, or Mission in Life

Seventh Petal MY GOAL, PURPOSE, OR MISSION IN LIFE.

My Purpose in Life Petal

Goal in Filling Out This Petal: To know the moral compa.s.s or spiritual values by which you want to guide your life. The most victorious life is one that is dedicated to some larger cause or mission.

What You Are Looking For: Some definition of the purpose and mission of your life. This may help you pick out the kinds of organizations or companies you'd like to work for, if you find ones that are serving the same mission as yours.

Form of the Entries on Your Petal: A description of what kingdom of life you want to make better, with some attending details.

Example of a Good Petal: My purpose in life is to help the human spirit. I want there to be more faith, more compa.s.sion, more forgiveness, in families, because I have lived.

Example of a Bad Petal: More justice in the world.

Why Bad: An admirable goal, but it is too vague. Doesn't give you any guidance as to what kind of work to look for.

As John L. Holland famously said, "We need to look further down the road than just headlight range at night." The road is the road of Life. You need to dream about the broad outcome of your life, and not just this year's job-search. What kind of footprint do you want to leave on this Earth, after your journey here is done? Figure that out, and you're well on your way to defining your life as having purpose and a mission.

The Nine Kingdoms of Mission and Purpose Generally speaking, mission breaks down into nine kingdoms-corresponding to our nature. As you look these over, the question is, which one appeals to you the most? Time for some hard thinking (ouch!). So, read on, slowly. Take time to ponder and think.

1. The Mind. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more knowledge, truth, or clarity in the world, because you were here? Knowledge, truth, or clarity concerning what in particular? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the mind.

2. The Body. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more wholeness, fitness, or health in the world, more binding up of the body's wounds and strength, more feeding of the hungry, and clothing of the poor, because you were here? What issue in particular? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the body.

3. The Eyes and Other Senses. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more beauty in the world, because you were here? If so, what kind of beauty entrances you? Is it art, music, flowers, photography, painting, staging, crafts, clothing, jewelry, or what? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the eyes and senses.

4. The Heart. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more love and compa.s.sion in the world, because you were here? Love or compa.s.sion for whom? Or for what? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the heart.

5. The Will or Conscience. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more morality, more justice, more righteousness, more honesty in the world, because you were here? In what areas of human life or history, in particular? And in what geographical area? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the conscience.

6. The Spirit. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more spirituality in the world, more faith, more compa.s.sion, more forgiveness, more love for G.o.d and the human family in all its diversity, because you were here? If so, with what ages, people, or with what parts of human life? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the spirit, or (if you prefer) The Kingdom of G.o.d.

7. Entertainment. The question is: When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be more lightening of people's loads, more giving them perspective, more helping them to forget their cares for a spell, do you want there to be more laughter in the world, and joy, because you were here? If so, what particular kind of entertainment do you want to contribute to the world? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of entertainment.

8. Our Possessions. The question is: Is your major concern the often false love of possessions in this world? When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be better stewardship of what we possess-as individuals, as a community, as a nation-in the world, because you were here? Do you want to see simplicity, quality (rather than quant.i.ty), and a broader emphasis on the word "enough," rather than on the word "more, more"? If so, in what areas of human life in particular? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of possessions.

9. The Earth. The question is: Is the planet on which we stand, your major concern? When you have finished your life here on Earth, do you want there to be better protection of this fragile planet, more exploration of the world or the universe-exploration, not exploitation-more dealing with its problems and its energy, because you were here? If so, which problems or challenges in particular, draw your heart and soul? If this is You, then your sense of purpose is pointing you toward the kingdom of the Earth.

In sum, remember that all of these are worthwhile purposes and missions, all of these are necessary and needed, in this world. The question is, which one in particular draws you to it, the most? Which one do you most want to lend your brain, your energies, your skills and gifts, your life, to serve, while you are here on this Earth?16 When you are done, enter a summary paragraph of what you have decided your purpose or mission is, on the Goal, Purpose, or Mission in Life petal.

P.S. There are two challenges you may run into, in doing this particular exercise. First Challenge: you just come up empty on this exercise, despite hard thinking. No harm done. If you want an answer, just keep the question on the back-burner of your mind; eventually some insight is going to break through. Tomorrow, next week, next month, or a year from now. Be patient with yourself.

Second Challenge: This subject doesn't grab you at all. Okay. Then instead of writing a statement of purpose or mission for your life, you can write instead a statement outlining what you think about life: why are we here, why are You here, and so on. This is often called "Your Philosophy of Life": In writing a philosophy of life, it should be no more than two pages, single s.p.a.ced, and can be less; it should address whichever of these elements you think are most important; pick and choose. You do not have to write about all of them. In most cases, you will only need two or three sentences about each element you choose to comment on.

Beauty: what kind of beauty stirs us, what the function of beauty is in the world Behavior: how we should behave in this world Beliefs: what our strongest beliefs are Celebration: how we like to play or celebrate, in life Choice: what its nature and importance is Community: what our concept is about belonging to each other; what we think our responsibility is to each other Compa.s.sion: what we think about its importance and use Confusion: how we live with it, and deal with it Death: what we think about it and what we think happens after it Events: what we think makes things happen, how we explain why they happen Free will: whether we are "predetermined" or have free will G.o.d: see Supreme Being Happiness: what makes for the truest human happiness Heroes and heroines: who ours are, and why Human: what we think is important about being human, what we think is our function Love: what we think about its nature and importance, along with all its related words: compa.s.sion, forgiveness, grace Moral issues: which ones we believe are the most important for us to pay attention to, wrestle with, help solve Paradox: what our att.i.tude is toward its presence in life Purpose: why we are here, what life is all about Reality: what we think is its nature, and components Self: deciding whether physical self is the limit of your being, deciding what trust in self means Spirituality: what its place is in human life, how we should treat it Stewardship: what we should do with G.o.d's gifts to us Supreme Being: our concept of, and what we think holds the universe together Truth: what we think about it, which truths are most important Uniqueness: what we think makes each of us unique Values: what we think about ourselves, what we think about the world, prioritized as to what matters most (to us) When you are done writing, put a summary paragraph on your Goal, Purpose, or Mission in Life petal.

And, finally:

I Am a Person Who ...

Has Completed My Flower

To download a printable PDF of this image, please visit http://rhlink.com/para14022 Readers have asked to see an example of "That One Piece of Paper" all filled out. Rich W. Feller-a student of mine back in 1982, now a world-famous professor and the 20122013 President of the National Career Development a.s.sociation-filled out his flower as you here. He said "That One Piece of Paper" has been his lifelong companion ever since, and his guiding star. (The petals then were slightly different.) Rich Feller first put his personal "picture" together over thirty years ago. Here are his comments about its usefulness since, and how "That One Piece of Paper" helped him, how he's used it, and how it's changed.

WHAT THE PARACHUTE FLOWER HAS MEANT TO ME.

More than anything I've gained from an academic life, my Flower has given me hope, direction, and a lens to satisfaction. Using it to a.s.sess my life direction during crisis, career moves, and stretch a.s.signments, it helps me define and hold to personal commitments. In many ways it's my "guiding light." Data within my Flower became and remain the core of any success and satisfaction I have achieved.

After I first filled out my own Flower Diagram in a two-week workshop with d.i.c.k Bolles back in 1982, I decided to teach the Flower to others. My academic position has allowed me to do this, abundantly. Having now taught the Flower to thousands of counselors and career development and human resource specialists, I continually use it with clients, and in my own transitional retirement planning.

I'm overwhelmed with how little has changed within my Flower, over the years. My Flower is the best of what I am. Its petals are my compa.s.s, and using my "favorite skills" are the mirror to a joyful day. I trust the wisdom within "That One Piece of Paper." It has guided my work and my life, ever since 1982, and it has helped my wife and I define our hopes for our son.

The process of filling out and acting on "That One Piece of Paper" taught me a lot. Specifically, it taught me the importance of the following ten things, often running contrary to what my studies and doctoral work had taught me previously.

I learned from my Flower the importance of: 1. Chasing after pa.s.sions, honoring strengths, and respecting skill identification 2. Challenging societal definitions of balance and success 3. Committing to something bigger than oneself 4. Living authentically and with joy 5. Being good at what matters to oneself and its relationship to opportunity 6. Finding pleasure in all that one does 7. Staying focused on well-being and life satisfaction 8. Personal clarity and responsibility for designing "possible selves"

9. Letting the world know, humbly but clearly, what we want 10. "Coaching" people amidst a world of abundance where individuals yearn for individual meaning and purpose more than they hunger for possessions, abject compliance with society's expectations, or simply fitting in This technologically enhanced, global workplace we now face in the twenty-first century certainly challenges all we thought we knew about our life roles. Maintaining clarity, learning agility, and identifying development plans have become elevated to new and critical importance, if we are to maintain choice. As a result I've added the following four emphases to "Rich's Flower": Have, do, learn, and give. That is to say, I try to keep a running list (constantly updated) of ten things that I want to: 1. Have 2. Do 3. Learn 4. Give Through the practice of answering the four questions listed above, I can measure change in my growth and development.

I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to share with others how much I gained from the wisdom and hope embedded within "Rich's Flower."

I humbly offer my resume, home location and design, and family commitments on my website at www.mycahs.colostate.edu/Rich.Feller. I'd be honored to share my journey, and encourage others to nurture and shine light on their garden as well. I believe you'll find about 90% of the Flower's items influence our daily experience.

Rich Feller Professor of Counseling and Career Development University Distinguished Teaching Scholar Colorado State University Fort Collins, CO To download a printable PDF of this image, please visit http://rhlink.com/para14023 Okay, like Rich, you've now got your completed Flower.

Nice diagram. What do you do with it?

Well, that's the subject of our next chapter.

1. Such as (the late) Barbara B. Brown, who was the first to coin the term biofeedback and to bring it to the public's awareness back in 1974, with her groundbreaking book (at the time) New Mind, New Body. She made these points in a public lecture in 1976. See her bio on www.wikipedia.com.

2. "Tight ship": you clock in and clock out, work under strict conditions; "loose ship": you have greater leeway about when you come in, or go home, they want your creativity above all else, and there is no time clock or tight supervision of your day.

3. This page is just for note-taking and jotting down your idle thoughts on each subject. The real Flower is on pages 18485, and it is there that you enter the final results of each exercise in this chapter.

4. By the way, if you want to use or visit the D.O.T. it's now online at www.occupationalinfo.org, and can be downloaded to your computer.

5. There is, incidentally, a relationship between the people you like to be surrounded by and your skills and your values. Most of us don't need to go down that road, but if you're curious, you'll need John Holland's book, Making Vocational Choices (3rd ed., 1997). You can procure it at your local public library or (if you can afford it) by going to the Psychological a.s.sessment Resources (PAR), Inc., website at www4.parinc.com, and entering the word "Holland" in the search engine there; or by calling 1-800-331-8378. The book is $58.00 at this writing. PAR also has John Holland's instrument, called The Self-Directed Search (or SDS, for short), for discovering what your Holland Code is. PAR lets you take the test online for a small fee ($4.95) at www.self-directed-search.com.

6. Amusing anecdote: John was a good friend of mine, and when I first showed him this Party Exercise I had invented, I asked him what he thought of it. With a twinkle in his eye he snorted, "Huh! Probably put me out of business!" Nope, it didn't. His SDS has sold more than thirty million copies, and is the basis for many other career tests or instruments.

7. Incidentally, John always encouraged people to write down somewhere all six versions (technically called permutations) of your code. Thus, if your code were, say, SIA, its permutations would be: SIA, SAI, IAS, ISA, ASI, AIS. This is especially useful if you are ever going to look up careers that correspond to your code. Put "Holland codes for careers" into your favorite search engine, and you will find such sites as www.vista-cards.com/occupations.

Further, he and I worked together on this application of his system to daydreams: list all the things you've ever dreamed of doing. Then, to the right of each, try to guess-guess!-at what you think the three-letter Holland code would be for each. When done, look at each code and a.s.sign a value of 3 to any letter in the first position; a.s.sign a value of 2 to any letter in the second position; and a.s.sign a value of 1 to any letter in the third position (e.g., in the case of IAS, you'd give 3 points to "I," 2 points to "A," and 1 point to "S"). Do this for every code you've written down, then total up all the points for each letter. How many points did "R" get, how many points did "I" get, etc. Choose the top three with the most points, in order, when you're done, and you have the Holland Code of your daydreams. As John said to me, "This is the most reliable way of determining someone's code, but who would believe it, except you and me?"

8. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or "MBTI," measures what is called psychological type. For further reading about this, see: Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type, Fourth Edition, Little, Brown & Company, 2007. For those who cannot obtain the MBTI, this book includes a method for readers to identify their personality types. This is one of the most popular career books in the world. It's easy to see why. Many have found great help from the concept of personality type, and the Tiegers are masters in explaining this approach to career-choice. Highly recommended.

Donna Dunning, What's Your Type of Career? Unlock the Secrets of Your Personality to Find Your Perfect Career Path, Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2010. This is a dynamite book on personality type. Donna Dunning's knowledge of "Type" is encyclopedic!

David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types, B&D Books, 1984. Includes the Keirsey Temperament Sorter-again, for those who cannot obtain the MBTI.

9. This list copyright 1994 Daniel Porot.

10. Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Early Edition, September 6, 2010.

11. According to Sentier Research, reported by Paul Davidson, "U.S. Median Household Income Up 4% at End of 2011," USA Today, February 9, 2012.

12. If this kind of budget planning is just not you, there is help available. Online, you will find that MoneySavingExpert.com has a free budget-planner (click on Banking at the top, then under Current Accounts you will see BudgetPlanner; click on that). Other online tools are listed at http://tinyurl.com/cuq2bdy. Offline, think of some buddy, friend, relative, family member, or other, who is a whiz at this type of thing and can volunteer to help you. If you come up empty, consider any groups you belong to in the community: local religious center, church, synagogue, mosque, gym, social club, and ask the manager there if they can suggest anybody who is wise and generous with their time. Ask them, gently, for help. Thank them afterward.

13. If you have extra household expenses, such as a security system, be sure to include the quarterly (or whatever) expenses here, divided by three.

14. Your checkbook stubs and/or online banking records will tell you a lot of this stuff. But you may be vague about your cash or credit card expenditures. For example, you may not know how much you spend at the supermarket, or how much you spend on gas, etc. But there is a simple way to find out. Keep notes on your Smartphone or iPad for two weeks (there are apps for that), jotting down everything you pay cash (or use credit cards) for-on the spot, right after you pay it. At the end of those two weeks, you'll be able to take that notepad and make a realistic guess of what should be put down in these categories that now puzzle you. (Multiply the two-week figure by two, and you'll have the monthly figure.) 15. Incidentally, for U.S. citizens, looking ahead to next April 15, be sure to check with your local IRS office or a reputable accountant to find out if you can deduct the expenses of your job-hunt on your federal (and state) income tax returns. At this writing, some job-hunters can, if-big IF-this is not your first job that you're looking for, if you haven't been unemployed too long, and if you aren't making a career-change. Do go find out what the latest "ifs" are. If the IRS says you are eligible, keep careful receipts of everything related to your job-hunt, as you go along: telephone calls, stationery, printing, postage, travel, etc.

16. And by the way, if you want to have fun, if you have a computer go to the Internet, choose a browser like Google or Bing, and type your kingdom (the Mind, etc.) into the search line, and see if anything pops up that intrigues you.

You've got to be careful.

If you don't know where you're going, Because you might not get there.

-Yogi Berra (1925 ).

Chapter 8.

You Need to Do Some Informational Interviewing Okay, you've got your completed Flower done. That was the previous chapter. Now what? Your Flower pictorial is beautiful, but what does it mean? What's the next step? These are natural questions.

The Five Different Kinds of Informational Interviewing.

What will help you the most, here? You guessed it: people. You've got to do some networking. I'll bet that sounds familiar!

If someone out of work knows only three words about their job-hunt, those three words will be: resumes, interviews, and networking. And if there's one really overworked word in that crowd, it's networking.

It's used by more job-hunters, and with the least understanding of it, than any other word that I can think of. Job-hunters will go endlessly to group meetings-job support groups, business presentations, college reunions, even beer parties or c.o.c.ktail parties-and when you ask them what they're doing, they will say, "I'm unemployed. I'm networking. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

Job-hunters will collect people's business cards day after day, week after week, convinced that this will somehow pay off down the line. They approach networking as something magical, based on the unproved belief: "He or she who ends up with the most business cards, wins at the job-hunt."

Job-hunters will "friend" reflexively on Facebook and "link" with everyone they can on LinkedIn, trying to collect as many names as possible. Then there's always Google+.

And if you ask them why they are doing this, they will reply, "I dunno. I'm just networking!" And networking, and networking.

Well, now you need to network and at last we have a reason. You network in order to find out what career, job, or work your Flower Diagram points to.

There are five different kinds of information you need to find out. Hence, there are five kinds of Informational Interviewing-call them five kinds of networking, if you prefer. We will look at them in a certain logical order as you seek the meaning of your Flower pictorial. Here are the five, in order: Informational Interviewing Step One HOW TO FIND OUT THE NAME OF YOUR FLOWER: WHAT CAREERS OR JOBS YOUR FLOWER POINTS TO.