What A Boy Wants Part 12

I slammed my front door behind me, running into the bright living room. Mom sat on our beige couch, watching something soap opera or something on TV. I was too upset to even give her a hard time about it. Ma! I huffed, breathing like Id run a marathon, which I practically had.

She jumped to her feet, worry creasing her brow. Whats wrong?

I could hardly catch my breath enough to talk, but I knew I had to get this out. I screwed up. Everythings so messed up and I dont know what to do.

She pulled me to her, burying my face in her neck and stroking my hair. The light shhh whispering from her mouth like only a mom can do. Now, if anyone ever asked me, I would not admit to this moment. How much I needed my mom and trusted her, even though I had a feeling, when it came to love, she was just as confused as I was. But we always had each other. It was always her and me, and I trusted her.

Whats wrong, kiddo?

With that, I pulled away from her. Yeah, I needed her, but I wasnt going to cry. Id never let myself live that one down and if she kept up with that stroke and shush thing, thats exactly what would have happened. Looking at my mom, I uttered the words I never thought Id say to her. The words I dreaded hearing her say about another guy. Ma, Im in love.

This big, goofy smile spread across her face. Aspen? she asked, surprising me with her knowledge, but then I remember she knew everything. Half the time I thought I was getting away with stuff, I wasnt. That was just Mom. We worked like that. She could read me and I could read her. I was pretty lucky to have her.

Aspen. I confirmed. If it was possible, her smile grew. Youre probably not going to be smiling when I tell you what happened.

Oh, Bastian. What did you do?

I walked over and fell onto the couch. I think the better question is what didnt I do? You might want to sit down for this.

Chapter Sixteen.

So, I spit it all out for her. Mom sat beside me quietly as I gave her the whole story. How Id been getting money for hooking people up. That I started realizing I had feelings for Aspen, to finding out she was actually PA and deciding to go for it. While I was being honest, I even told her the truth about the weekend. There had been some serious head shakage going on when I admitted to going to the coast with Aspen, Pris and Jaden, but she still didnt speak up until I finished.

Mom did smile when I told her I really loved Aspen. That, cheesy as it sounded, Id been the happiest I ever remembered being when we spent the weekend together. Of course, I took a few liberties and kept the whole bed sharing and making out on the beach that night a secret. Mom definitely didnt need details like that and if I did come out of this with Aspen on my side, Im sure shed be pretty embarra.s.sed if Mom knew.

After that, my gut clinched as I told her I broke up with her. How I thought she was better off without me, because love always left people broken-hearted anyway. My stomach felt like I would hurl when I admitted to being jealous over Mattie and using Crystal to make her jealous. So they all pretty much hope I die a fiery death. They want nothing to do with me. I fell back against the couch waiting for her to hand it to me too.

Silence.

I started to feel a little itchy waiting for her to talk. The quiet rubbed me the wrong way. Yelling I could deal with, but I didnt want her to be disappointed in me. Say something, Ma.

When she let out a breath, it was shaky. I knew that sound. It was more than disappointment. She was hurt. Ive really messed things up for us, havent I, Bastian?

My body lurched forward so I was sitting up again. What? No. Believe me. This is anything but your fault. I did all of this myself. When the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were true. Id tried to push some of the blame on Mattie, Aspen, Jaden and anyone else I could, but it had really been me.

Tell me then. Why did you break up with Aspen? If the weekend was so great, why did you call it off?

Umm. I knew the answer to her question, but I had a feeling she did too.

Did you make that decision when I told you about Roger? she asked. I hated doing it, but nodded my head.

Mom grabbed my hand. I havent been the best role model for you. Ive made a lot of mistakes in my life, especially where men are concerned, but you know they are my mistakes, they dont have anything to do with you, Sebastian. I have no way of knowing what the future will hold for you and Aspen. Youre both young and things happen, but because Ive been hurt and made bad choices, that doesnt mean youll hurt or be hurt. And if you are, that doesnt mean the same thing will happen with someone else.

I tried to slip my hand away from her, but she held it tight. Im serious. Thats life. We win some, we lose some, but you cant live your life afraid of making my mistakes.

You make it sound like its been your fault! I couldnt hold myself back from raising my voice. All you did was love them, and they left you. I didnt want to do that with Aspen. Not after she got her feelings involved. Wasnt it better to cut our losses after two days, than for me to walk out on her like Dad walked out on you? I blinked, hoping the movement would hold in the wetness pooling in my eyes. I didnt want to cry. Made me feel weak.

Oh, Bastian. She rubbed a hand down the side of my face. Always so n.o.ble. Im so lucky to have a son who loves his mom so much, but as much as I wish it were true, Im not perfect. I made just as many mistakes as your father. As Bill and John. h.e.l.l, I made more mistakes than Roger did. But again, those were my mistakes, and you kiddo, youre too good to really hurt someone. Your hearts always in the right place, even if you do make some mistakes.

I turned my head away from her, trying to wipe the stray tears away that managed to break free without her noticing. She grabbed my face and turned my head so I looked at her. More importantly, you are not your dad. Youre just Sebastian. My funny, smart, talented, loyal, big-hearted son. Even when you forget that and pull a stunt like trying to make her jealous with another girl. She smiled. You know youre going to have to do some major groveling, dont you?

I blew out a breath. Yeah, I know.

You and me both, kiddo.

I squinted at her. Huh? Why do you need to grovel?

Mom sighed. Roger proposed and I freaked. I do love him, but in that moment, I saw every one of my mistakes asking me to make them again. Not a good man who I think I could really spend my life with.

What? I dont get it. I thought you said he broke up with you.

See, theres that n.o.ble and loyal side of you again. I said we broke up, not that he broke up with me. I really dont deserve the pedestal youve put me on, kiddo. My moms mouth formed a frown.

Why?

Why did you end it with Aspen? Because I was scared. I thought I was ready, but I do know Roger is different, but I was so scared of making the same mistakes I made in the past, that I threw out my future. She patted my hand. But this isnt about me. Its about you. Dont give Aspen up because youre scared. We never know whats going to happen in life. Cant live in fear, or youll never get anything.

I wanted to believe her. I wanted Aspen. After everything, you still think its worth it? I know you said you did, but I mean, after you bailed on Roger, do you still think love is worth all this?

She answered quickly, surely. Absolutely. What about you?

Aspen popped into my head. The years of friendship. Everything shed done for me, the laughs shed given me and the way her face lit up when she smiled. How much she cared for her friends: Pris, Jaden and even me. And her kisses, the way I felt like all that light and energy seeped from her to me when our lips touched. The hollowness in my chest when she cried. How I didnt feel like me without her. h.e.l.l yeah. Aspens worth it. And she was. I would do anything to get her back.

Mom shook her head, a smirk hiding behind her frown.

I mean, heck yeah.

Then stop treating her like a game. This whole making her jealous thing, breaking up with her before things go too far. Be real with her. Treat her with the respect she deserves.

I nodded. Okay, I can do that.

Mom laughed. Youre going to have to do more than that, Bastian. Im thinking the big, grand gesture and everything.

My laugh matched hers as I rolled my eyes, but I knew I would do it. Id do whatever it took. What about you? Just because were guys doesnt mean we dont like the big gesture or whatever. Are you going to get Roger back? I asked.

Im not sure h.e.l.l have me. She sighed.

This time it was me who squeezed her hand. Ma, youre talking to The Hook-up Doctor. Let me give you some advice.

I had one week to fix this before Mom was making me shut down my Hook-up Doctor blog and Id be grounded until G.o.d knew when. I figured I deserved worse and was pretty lucky shed given me a week at all, so I wanted to make it count. It took me a couple days to get a plan into action. This was a different kind of plan. Not the whole playing games thing, but something real. Something that my friends deserved because I figured Aspen wasnt the only person I had some pleading to do with.

One for all and all for one or something lame like that.

Jaden was first on my list.

I rarely went to Jadens house. He never wanted to be there, so it wasnt often I went with him and I definitely didnt go there by myself. Without him I didnt have a car and it was a long a.s.s ride to make on my board. But I did it today, because I wanted my boy to know I was serious. I planned on making this up to him no matter what it took.

I jumped off my board when I came up to the gravel driveway that was almost as long as the drive from town. Why anyone would want to live in the boonies like this was beyond me. I kicked a few rocks as I made my way toward his house. Id never tell anyone, but I always thought his driveway was a little creepy. It was practically buried in trees, all ominous and stuff. It was one of those roads, and houses for that matter, that kids got lost on in scary movies and a psycho killer was always waiting inside.

When I cleared the whack-job lane, I saw Jaden in front of his house, hiding under the hood of the beatermobile. I huffed. All or nothing, I whispered to myself as I approached him. Need some help?

He didnt even turn around to look at me. I thought you were too pretty to work on cars.

Even though he couldnt see me, I shrugged and walked to the other side of the hood and leaned in. I am, but like you said, your beater is my beater so I can put in a few hours of work on it. Nothing. Plus, I figure I owe ya. Youre my boy. Always been there for me. The beater too. I guess its time I return the favor.

Metal on metal clanked from under the hood. Jay cursed then glanced up at me. He looked like s.h.i.t. His face a little pale with purple under his eyes like he hadnt slept in a while. I opened my mouth to ask if he was okay, but he cut me off. Grab the wrench and come over here for a second. Think you can handle that, pretty boy?

I let out a sigh of relief. Sure, to anyone else our exchange probably didnt mean anything, but to us, wed just said it all. He knew I was sorry and he was letting me know he forgave me.

As I brought the wrench over to him, I couldnt stop myself from taking it further. I didnt mean to hurt her, Jay. I do love her and Im going to make up for it. The thing with Crystal? It wasnt real. I didnt touch her.

Jaden stood up and looked at me, his eyes filled with something I didnt quite understand. Sadness, maybe? Just be good to her, bro. You, Pris and Aspen? He rubbed his face with the back of his hand. I need you guys. I dont know what Id do if anything screwed us up.

I nodded once, a little lost for words. We all knew things werent good for Jaden, but in this moment, I wondered if maybe they were a lot worse than we knew. Want to stay at my house tonight?

He knew what I was asking and when he replied, I knew his sarcasm was just to lighten the mood. Like I said, we were guys. It was easier that way. You just want my help figuring out how to fix things with Pris and Aspen. He chuckled.

I laughed too. You have no idea, bro. No idea. With that, we got to work fixing up the beatermobile.

Dude, youre going to get my a.s.s in as much trouble as yours. Jaden parked behind the diner I was supposed to meet Pris at. Scratch that. The diner he was supposed to meet Pris at, only I was going in his place. It took a little bit of begging, but I managed to get him to call Pris and ask her to meet him for dinner so that I could get to her. Pris would be a lot tougher than Jaden to make up with. The girl held a grudge like no other. Not that I didnt deserve it, but I knew I couldnt just walk up to her house and get her to forgive me without groveling. And I definitely wasnt doing this somewhere private. It would be much harder for her to kill me and bury the body if we were in a public place.

I know. I owe you one, Jay.

Pfft. You owe me more than one. He put the car in park. Want me to wait?

Pushing the door opened, I stopped and faced him. Nah. If she catches you out here, I dont want you to fall to the same fate I probably will. Go ahead and go to my house. I called Mom and she knows youre going over. If Im not home in a couple hours, send a search party.

Shes not that bad. She just likes to take care of her friends. Nothing wrong with that.

I b.u.mped Jadens fist with my own. Catcha later.

Later, he mumbled as I got out of the car.

Jogging around the front of the building I stopped by the coffee shop and ordered a caramel latte. I hated those fro-fro drinks, but I knew it was Priss favorite. Or maybe I was hoping Id get kicked out of the restaurant for sneaking a drink inside before I had to face her. Either way, ten minutes later I was holding the coffee behind my back and sneaking through the diner (someone was looking out for me because she had her back to the door) until I got to her table.

Before I lost my huevos I slipped in the booth across from her. I stilled when my eyes met hers. She looked good. d.a.m.n good, with her hair all done and make-up on her face. I couldnt pretend to know exactly what shed done differently, because obviously make-up wasnt my thing, but it was pretty clear shed put in some extra effort. The light in her brown eyes dimmed when she saw it was me and I had a feeling it had to do with a lot more than just her anger at me over Aspen. I groaned. How did I not see this before? Dont be mad at Jaden. I made him do it.

Whatever, Bastian. Like I care. Both of you can get lost as far as Im concerned. Her voice broke and she went to stand up, but I grabbed her hand.

Wait. Please, just give me a chance to explain. She closed her eyes and let out a breath before looking at me again. Please, Pris. I held up the drink. I brought you a caramel latte.

With a sigh, she sat down. Youre lucky were in public.

Luck had nothing to do with it. I know you, Pris. Ouch. I rubbed my shin. d.a.m.n, I didnt think about kicking under the table.

She looked at her watch. You have ten minutes, starting now.

Man, this was going to be harder than I thought. Right at that time the waitress came by, asking for our orders during my ten minutes. Nice. We need a little more time. At least ten minutes to be exact. The red-haired waitress gave me a weird look before shrugging and walking away.

Nine minutes. She stared me down and I knew she was serious.

I didnt even give myself time to sort through what I wanted to say. I love her. I know I screwed up and I hurt her. Im an a.s.shole and I know it, but I swear the last thing I ever wanted to do was lose Aspen. I sighed. When I broke up with her, I was feeling sorry for myself. You know, the whole parent issue thing. I didnt think it would work because my mom and her boyfriend broke up again. If she couldnt get love right after how many tries, how could I? Wow Maybe it was better that I hadnt rehea.r.s.ed that because it was much easier to be real with her when I just let myself go. Im sure Pris was smart enough to put two and two together when it came to my mom and know she was unlucky in love, but Id never told her how I felt about it. It wasnt something I ever really expressed to anyone, except Aspen.

After my dad and all the other guys. And then Roger, he said he loved her and wanted to marry her and then Mom called before we left the beach house and told me they split and I lost it. On a roll, I kept going. I was p.i.s.sed at him for hurting her and scared things would end up the same way with me and Aspen, so I just bailed before we got a chance to dig ourselves in too deep.

I ran a hand through my hair, and leaned on my elbow. And then I found out she really wanted Mattie all along, and shed never really wanted me and it pretty much crushed me, Pris. You should have seen me. I even did the whole ice cream and romance movie thing, though if you tell anyone, I will completely deny it.

She chuckled and some of the weight on my chest loosened.

Crystal was an accident. I freaked when I saw them at the mall and grabbed her hand. Then, I made her pretend to date me to get Aspen jealous. Im telling you, Pris, even if she doesnt take me back, we have to get her away from Mattie. I know hes up to no good. Crystal told me he was trying to get in her cousins pants right before hooking up with Aspen. Ill kick his a.s.s before I let him hurt her. What does she see in that idiot anyway?

I was starting to get all frustrated, running both my hands through my hair. Did Aspen and Mattie make up after their fight in the park? Would she choose him over me? It may not look like it, but I do love her. I just want to take care of her.

Pris shook her head and mumbled, Boys are so dumb. Mayday! Mayday! I was losing her.

What can I do, Pris? I love her and youre one of my best friends. Tell me how I can fix this?"

She frowned. To make it better with me, all you have to do is make it better for her.

On reflex, I reached across the table and grabbed Priss hand. She was a good friend and I knew my dumb b.u.t.t didnt deserve her. Ill do my best. Im going to prove to Aspen and you that I deserve her. Matties ugly mug popped into my mind. I just hope Im not too late.

Idiota. Sometimes, I wonder about guys. No offense, Bastian, but you can all be pretty dense.

She was probably talking about me in there too, but I couldnt shake the feeling that Jaden held a big part in this as well. PA Rocks. PA. Pris, Aspen. d.a.m.n, I really was dense. I had no doubt Aspen and Pris tried a two for one deal. And Id failed her. Squeezing her hand, I said, You know any guy would be lucky to call you his girl, dont you?

After returning my squeeze she pulled away. Yeah, I know. But dont get any ideas. Youre in love with Aspen, remember?

I gave her one of my best smirks. Yeah, I know.

Alright, Im out of here. Go find your girl and sweep her off her feet before Matt does it for you. I have it on good authority theyre supposed to be going out tomorrow night. That doesnt give you much time.

I got up and pulled Pris into a hug. Ill walk you out, I told her. She picked up her coffee and led the way to her car. When we stopped, she was touching her necklace Id seen her playing with on the trip. Thats nice. Parents get it for you for your birthday?

Pris sighed. Someone did, but not them. Oh. It was obvious she didnt want to tell me who it was, so I left it alone. Need a ride? she asked.

I shook my head. Nah. I have some stuff to figure out.