What A Boy Wants Part 10

Youre not like the rest of them, Woodstock. I-- She cut me off. Dont call me that.

Im not going to lie, that hurt. Id called her Woodstock since we were kids. I didnt get why she didnt understand that I just didnt want to hurt her in the long run. I dont want things to be messed up. This relationship thing never goes the way its supposed to. Im trying to save us from dealing with that. Cant we just be us again? Aspen and Sebastian?

Things are screwed up because you made them that way. Because youre Sebastian freakin Hawkins and you cant settle down with one girl. I should have known youd pull this s.h.i.t. Her eyes started to water. Those tears were suffocating me. This is what I didnt want! Her hurting. My mom hurting. All of this was just f.u.c.ked up.

Come here. I reached out for her, that zap happening when I touched her hand. I just wanted to make her feel better. I tried pulling her close, for herself just as much as me, but she jerked away. It was like a punch to the gut.

No! You cant make this better. Its your fault.

Her pain collided with mine and erupted. Im trying to be n.o.ble here! Dont you get that?!

Her tears flowed freely now. n.o.ble? You have a funny way of showing it. I was over you and you made me think we had a chance and now youre crushing me.

What did that even mean? This was the second time she said shed been over me, but I knew she wasnt. Her words and my thoughts were all trying to push through at the same time. I was confused and hurt that she didnt understand. Angry at myself that I was hurting her and angry at her, too. Funny, Aspen, but I know you werent over me considering Ive been giving you advice for weeks on how to hook-up with me.

Her face paled and I regretted the words immediately. I was totally s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g this up and I didnt even know what to do about it. Wood-- Youre The Hook-up Doctor? she stepped up to me and pushed me. Hard. I fell back onto her bed. You jerk! You lied to me!

What? No I didnt. I didnt tell you, but I never lied. I stood up.

So thats what this was all about. You never really wanted me. It was only because you thought I wanted you. Why take the easy hook-up for the weekend?! I hate you, Sebastian. Get out of my house! She was crying, her face red, but not from blushing. It was so different, that red, when it came from hurt and anger than embarra.s.sment.

No. Thats not it. It had nothing to do with the emails. They just made me realize I should go for it.

The tightness in her features, the way her eyes narrowed at me in hate told me Id just said the wrong thing. Well guess what, Mr. Hook-up Doctor. You were wrong. I wasnt trying to get with you. It was Matt! Hes the one I wanted to go out with, not you!

My chest started to hurt. My heart was pounding like a jackhammer against my ribs. Matt? Matt? That a.s.s! That doesnt make sense. You helped me when I told PA to be nice. You ditched us when I said to ignore him. My head was spinning. At the party you were supposed to flirt. You saw me with Crystal and got nervous and got drunk.

G.o.d. Youre so conceited, Bastian. Matt was at the arcade. He was at the party, too. I know you may think it does, but the world doesnt revolve around you! Looks like you dont know it all like you think you do! But thanks for helping me. Im sure I can put all this to good use, when I tell Matt I like him.

Her words had an effect over my whole body. They weakened the muscles in my legs. I felt hot all over and not the good kind of hot either. But more than that, I felt like Id seen my mom feel so many times. Broken. I had to get out of there. You know what? You can have him. I couldnt care less. When you get your little boyfriend, dont forget my other fifty bucks.

She slammed her bedroom door when I walked out. Each step I took away from her, made another pain shoot through my body, but I kept going. She didnt want me anyway, so Id find a way not to want her either. I was The Hook-up Doctor, so Id go out there and do what I did best. Hook-up. Jaden had been right all along. Girls were crazy.

Ma, quit hogging all the Chunky Monkey. I grabbed the pint of ice cream off Moms lap as she sat next to me on the couch. I wasnt proud of myself. Actually, I was pretty embarra.s.sed that I was practically crying in my ice cream with my mom. Totally not a very manly thing to do, but I just couldnt make myself go out tonight. Everything about it felt wrong. Plus, I didnt want to leave Mom alone tonight. She needed me, so Id be there. I tried to tell myself that was the real reason Id turned into a sap, eating ice cream and watching a bad romance movie after a break-up, but even I knew that wasnt true.

Hey! This is supposed to be my poor-me night. That ent.i.tles me to more of the ice cream, she said. I tossed the pint back at her because it was much easier to hand over the dessert rather than tell her I was in mourning, too. I saved some points on the losing my masculinity scale if no one knew what I was doing but me. Speaking of, you dont have to stay home with me tonight, kiddo. Im fine. She grabbed my hand and I wanted to tell her I wasnt. I clamped my mouth closed when she continued. Were fine.

Yeah, we are. I finished the movie with her before heading up to bed. The next morning I was supposed to go back to work, but I couldnt do it. What if shed gone to Matt after I left? I cant believe the j.a.c.k.-.o.f.f. was the one shed wanted from the start. They were probably together by now and I couldnt risk making pizza while they snuck in the back room to make out or something. Thats what Id planned on doing with her the first time we worked together after hooking up.

So, I faked a killer cough, something Id done for school a million times, and called in. Irresponsible and lame? Yeah, but I figured I deserved it. I thought about calling Jaden, but I couldnt do it. He wouldnt understand and I wasnt in the mood to hear I told you so, or him to go all Mike Tyson on me because, even though hes the one who told me girls were crazy, this would still end up my fault. So I got dressed, grabbed my skateboard and went for a ride to clear my head.

Even the jumps at the skate park didnt help. Sure that little rush of adrenaline, the jump of my heart when I landed felt good, but not good enough to make me forget that when I walked away last night, Aspen had been crying and that I was the one who put those tears on her face. And the guy I hated was probably wiping those tears away for her. Yeah, before I just had a bad feeling about him, but now I hated him. Funny how quickly that could happen.

Slipping my board under my arm I walked away from the skate ramps and over to the gra.s.sy area of the park. I wandered down one of the paths that led to the small creek. We had some prime entertainment in this town. I plopped down under a tree.

Hi. Youre Sebastian, right?

I looked behind me.

It was Party Girl. Twin party girl without her other half. She had on a sinfully short pair of shorts and a tank top that Im embarra.s.sed to say, I couldnt even be happy about. Whats up? Crystal, right? She sat down next to me and I fought a groan. Hadnt I just said I needed to get back to my roots? Right now, I just wasnt feelin it, but I didnt want to be a jerk, either.

Yep. I borrowed my cousins car while shes at work, so I was out trying to find something to do. She pushed her black hair behind her ear and looked at me.

Good luck with that. Were pretty scarce on the fun around here.

Ya think? She smiled at me. I couldnt help, but laugh. So what are you doing out here by yourself? Where are your friends? Or the girl. Howd things go with her?

What was it with girls and talking? Even the ones I didnt know acting like it was share your feelings hour all the time. Ugh I grunted, hoping shed get a clue. No such luck.

Uh-oh. What did you do? She asked.

I whipped my head around, more than a little annoyed. What the h.e.l.l? Why does it automatically have to be me who did something wrong?

She shrugged. Because youre the guy.

Okay, so Jaden was scoring even more points to prove his whole girls are crazy theory. What kind of wacko knowledge is that? I swear, no wonder girls need my help. Theyre all freakin mental. I was done with girls. Aspen, Pris, Crystal, I didnt want anything to do with any of them. How did I ever think I knew what they wanted? They were even more messed up than guys were! Well, except for my mom. She just had radar for a.s.sholes, but all the rest of the girls I knew, they needed way more than a little bit of help from The Hook-up Doctor.

I pushed to my feet, but Crystal grabbed my hand to stop me. I jerked it away because it felt weird, some other girl holding onto me like that.

Im kidding. You know, angry ex-girlfriend here, remember? I have girl-power music playing in the car if you need more proof.

I sat back down. It wasnt like I had anywhere else to go. I was avoiding all my friends. I scratched my head, hoping my arms would block her view of me. Come to find out, she really liked someone else. I couldnt believe I told her that.

She pulled her knees to her chest the way Aspen sat sometimes. Yeah, Will, too. I guess that was the real reason he broke up with me. Its always someone else.

Of course, Id neglected to tell her Id dumped Aspen and thats how I found out about the other guy, but what did that matter if I hadnt been the one she wanted anyway? This is kind of a first for me, I admitted. Im not trying to sound c.o.c.ky, but I mean, Ive never really gave it a chance for there to be someone else, ya know? I knew how things always play out though. I dont know why I even went there.

Because you loved her. Thats why I gave Will a chance even though everyone told me he was a player.

Arrgh. I rubbed a hand over my face. I really dont want to talk about this. Its a guy thing. We can do serious for maybe ninety seconds before we shut down. She laughed like I hoped she would. I mean, Im sorry about your ex, but Im sure you dont want to talk about him anymore than I want to talk about Aspen. And Matt Who was probably kissing her right now I needed to distract myself.

I was thinking about going to the mall. Want to come?

Sure. I stood and helped her up, too. It felt kind of good to hang out with someone who knew what I was going through. Plus, even though I knew what I really needed was to get back on the saddle so to speak, I totally didnt feel like it. At least with her, I knew she still had feelings for her ex. Made things easier when I didnt have to worry about her getting the wrong idea.

A couple of hours later we were sitting at a table in the food court, eating food worse than what we served at DJs, when my blood went cold.

She was here.

With him.

Son of a"

Sebastian? Whats wrong?

Shh. I shushed Crystal like her words blocked my vision or something. They were quite a ways down the walkway, looking over the edge toward the bottom floor, but I could recognize her body anywhere. I knew it now. Every curve, how her hair fell, and what it felt like when the hand she had wrapped around Matties had held mine.

My insides were frozen. Like one little flick from her finger and they would break apart like an icicle hitting the ground. Id never felt something like it, and honestly, I never wanted to again. How could my mom have thought love was worth it if it had the power to make you feel like this?

Is that her? With him? Crystal must have turned around to see what I was looking at, but I couldnt pull my eyes off Aspen long enough to see. I couldnt believe it! Last night she was crying over me and now here she was holding some other guys hand at the mall? I squinted so I could see better. Had she dropped his hand? Yep, she did. She pulled free and now she was walking away. Oh, and the jerk was following her.

Come on, I told Crystal as I started walking away, fully aware that I was teetering on stalker territory as I followed her.

I heard her scramble behind me. What are we doing? she asked. h.e.l.l if I knew, but I kept walking anyway. And thats when it happened. She stopped, and turned around. Our eyes locked, her green gaze grabbing me. I had the urge to punch Mattie and kiss her at the same time. I didnt know which was stronger. They werent holding hands still, but that didnt matter. I knew what he was thinking. Id been him for so long that I knew he wasnt serious about her.

But I didnt do either. No kissing, no punching. I dont know what made me do it. Maybe I wanted her to hurt like I was. Maybe Id gone as mental as the female population seemed to be, but even as I did it, I knew it was a mistake. My hand jerked over and I grabbed Crystals, linking our fingers together in a clear message: Aspen had moved on and so had I.

Even though I hadnt, but that was beside the point. Right now, I just needed something to do and this was the only thing I could think of. I had to give Crystal props, because she didnt pull away. Her hand was tense and I heard her breath hitch, but she didnt drop my hand.

Whats up? I asked, hoping my voice came out steadier than I felt.

Aspen didnt reply. Her mouth was opened in a small O, her eyes matching it. I wanted to walk over to her, brush my hand across her face like Id done this weekend, until she smiled instead of lookinghurt? Yes, thats what she looked like and I realized that wasnt what I wanted. Even though I was hurting, I didnt want her to feel the same.

You dont look sick to me, Mattie said.

Huh? s.h.i.t. I wondered if he would rat me out to the boss. No one asked you.

My words seemed to snap Aspen out of her shock. Whos your date? Her words were clipped.

Whos yours? I asked, immediately wanting the words back. Whos yours? Like I didnt know who this guy was. This whole situation was really messing with my skills. This is Crystal. I tried to cover up my idiotic screw up by tossing Crystals name at them.

I know you, Matt started. I saw you guys talking at the party.

It was official. Before all this was over, Id definitely be punching Mattie in the nose. His smirk told me he knew exactly what hed just done. I groaned.

Oh, I see how it is. So, I was the backup girl this weekend? Crystal at the party, me at the beach house and now youre back to her? G.o.d, I hate you, Sebastian! Aspens arms were crossed over her chest, something dark twisting the green of her eyes. Yeah, she was p.i.s.sed, but so was I.

What about you? Youre the one kissing me when you wanted this punk. I pointed to Mattie.

Dude, watch what you call me, Mattie replied and I stepped toward him.

Or what? What are you going to do about it, Mattie? Yeah, I used the name he hated. So sue me.

Sebastian, maybe we should go. Crystal grabbed my arm, which made Aspen react.

Maybe you should go. No one wants you here, anyway. Aspen told her.

Crystal snapped back. Listen, Im not taking sides here. Im just trying to defuse the situation.

Oh, arent you just the sweet, little girlfriend. Watch your back. He never sticks around for long.

Hey! I replied to Aspen. No one said shes my girlfriend and why do you care if I stick around? You had this loser in the wings the whole time!

Dude, I said to watch what you say to me. The idiot said.

Aspen started in on Crystal again, while I told Mattie where he could stick it. It was stupid, and loud, but I didnt care. I had enough with this guy and I wanted to make sure he knew it. But, at the same time, I didnt really want Crystal and Aspen to get into it either. People were circling around us, enjoying the show and all I wanted was this jerk away from Aspen.

You better not be playing games with her, I told him, but it was Aspen who answered me.

Him? Youre the one who plays games. Her hands were balled into fists, but her eyes, the white was tinted red, like she was crying.

I dont trust him, Woodstock. Hed hurt her. I mean, I know I had hurt her, but I actually loved her too. That put me a little lower on the a.s.shole scale than he was.

You dont have to. She turned to Mattie. Come on, Matt. Lets go. She grabbed his hand as they walked away and it took everything in me not to tackle the guy from behind, but instead I pulled my bonehead number whatever move.

Aspen! He doesnt deserve you! I know what Im talking about! You came to me for help, remember? I know this s.h.i.t! I was yelling. Through the mall. See what love does to you?

A hand clamped on my shoulder. Sir, were going to have to ask you to come with us.

Oh, s.h.i.t.

Chapter Fourteen.

Getting kicked out of the mall was not one of my finer moments. Dinged my ego a bit more when they had to call my mom. Something about me being a minor. Whatever.

Youre going to have to explain this to me, Sebastian. I get called out of work because you were screaming in the middle of the mall? Whats gotten into you? My mom asked, crossing her arms in p.i.s.sed-off mom mode while we stood by her car in the parking lot.

Love. Girls. Insanity. I had quite a few words I could throw at Mom about what had gotten into me, but I settled on trying to smooth things over. Its not that big a deal, Ma. You know how mall cops are. He just wanted to flex his muscles.

Her eyes narrowed and Im not afraid to admit it, my heart rate kicked up. This was beyond mad, into irate territory.

This isnt a joke! I had to cancel a cla.s.s to come and get you. They said you were yelling at a girl? I raised you better than that, Sebastian.

Yeah, she had. If there was one thing she always told me it was to respect girls and what had I done? Yelled at Aspen. My best friend. In the middle of the mall. How had things gotten so royally messed up? But it wasnt my fault. Id been trying to do exactly what my mom taught me to do and that was to not hurt a girl. I know. Im sorry. It was a misunderstanding.

It was my fault. I started it. I looked over my shoulder at Crystal who had been giving us some s.p.a.ce. I was having a bad day and took it out on Sebastian. I didnt mean to get us in any trouble.

I closed my mouth so the shock wouldnt show. This girl was totally saving my b.u.t.t. See, Ma? Weve made up. I looked at Crystal. But it wasnt your fault. Im sure I deserve some of the credit for this. I put my arm around her so it would look like wed been the ones fighting and now we were all peachy. Mom sighed.

I dont like this, but I have to get back to work. I dont want something like this happening again, Sebastian. She looked at Crystal, then me, then Crystal.

Oh! So, sorry for yelling at you. I kicked at the ground. I hated apologizing for stuff I did. Saying sorry for something I didnt do sucked even worse.

No harm, no foul, she replied.

Come on. I need to drop you off at home before I go back into work, Mom told me. Crystal piped up next and offered a ride, which my mom reluctantly agreed to after telling me she wanted me not to leave the house for the rest of the day.

When we were locked away in Crystals car, I turned to thank her, but she cut me off. Dont even think about saying thank you. What the h.e.l.l did you pull in there?

Oops. Looked like I traded in p.i.s.sed off mom for another angry girl. I dont know! It was a reflex.