Weighed and Wanting - novelonlinefull.com
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"Yes, yes, my dear! you are quite right--absolutely right," said the major humbly. "I only wanted to make you independent. You don't think half enough of yourself.--But I will dare one more question before I give you up; is he going to ask you to marry him?"
"Perhaps. I do not know."
"One more question yet: can you secure any liberty? Will your father settle anything upon you?"
"I don't know. I have never thought about anything of the kind."
"How could they let you go about with him so much and never ask him what he meant by it?"
"They could easier have asked me what I meant by it!"
"If I had such a jewel I would look after it!"
"Have me shut up like an eastern lady, I suppose," said Hester, laughing; "make my life miserable to make it safe. If a woman has any sense, major Marvel, she can take care of herself; if she has not, she must learn the need of it."
"Ah!" said the major sadly, "but the thousand pangs and aches and heart-sickenings! I would sooner see my child on the funeral pyre of a husband she loved, than living a merry life with one she despised!"
Hester began to feel she had not been doing the major justice.
"So would I!" she said heartily. "You mean me well, and I shall not forget how kind you have been. Now let us go back."
"Just one thing more: if ever you think I can help you, you _will_ let me know?"
"That I promise with all my heart," she answered.
"I mean," she added, "if it be a thing I count it right to trouble you about."
The major's face fell.
"I see!" he said; "you won't promise anything. Well, stick to that, and _don't_ promise."
"You wouldn't have me come to you for a new bonnet, would you?"
"By George! shouldn't I be proud to fetch you the best in Regent street by the next train!"
"Or saddle the pony for me?"
"Try me.--But I won't have any more chaff. I throw myself on your generosity, and trust you to remember there is an old man that loves you, and has more money than he knows what to do with."
"I think," said Hester, "the day is sure to come when I shall ask your help. In the meantime, if it be any pleasure to you to know it, I trust you heartily. You are all wrong about lord Gartley though. He is not what you think him."
She gave him her hand. The major took it in his own soft small one--small enough almost for the hilt of an Indian tulwar--and pressed it devoutly to his lips. She did not draw it away, and he felt she trusted him.
Now that the hard duty was done, and if not much good yet no harm had resulted, he went home a different man. A pang of fear for Hester in the power of "that ape Gartley" would now and then pa.s.s through him; but he had now a right to look after her, and who can tell what might not turn up!
His host congratulated him on looking so much better for his walk, and Hester recounted to her mother their strange conversation.
"Only think, mamma!" she said; "he offered me a thousand a year not to marry lord Gartley!"
"Hester!"
"He does not like the earl, and he does like me; so he wants me not to marry him. That is all!"
"I thought I could have believed anything of him, but this goes almost beyond belief!"
"Why should it, mamma? There is an odder thing still: instead of hating him for it, I like him better than before."
"Are you sure he has no notion of making room for himself?"
"Quite sure. He would have it he was old enough to be my grandfather.
But you know he is not that!"
"Perhaps you wouldn't mind if he were a little younger yet!" said her mother merrily, "as he is too young to be your grandfather."
"I suppose you had a presentiment I should like him, and left him for me, mamma!" returned Hester in like vein.
"But seriously, Hester, is it not time we knew what lord Gartley means?"
"Oh, mamma! please don't talk like that!"
"It does sound disagreeable--vulgar, if you like, my child; but I cannot help being anxious about you. If he does not love you he has no right to court your company so much."
"I encourage it, mamma. I like him."
"That is what makes me afraid."
"It will be time enough to think about it if he comes again now he has got the earldom."
"Should you like to be a countess, Hester?"
"I would rather not think about it, mother. It may never make any difference whether I should like it or not.
"I can't help thinking it strange he should be so much with you and never say a word!"
"Might you not just as well say it was strange of me to be so much with him, or of you, mother dear, to let him come so much to the house?"
"It was neither your part nor mine to say anything. Your father even has always said he would scorn to ask a man his _intentions_: either he was fit to be in his daughter's company, or he was not. Either he must get rid of him, or leave his daughter to manage her own affairs. He is quite American in his way of looking at those matters."
"Don't you think he is right, mother? If I let lord Gartley come, surely he is not to blame for coming!
"Only if you should have got fond of him, and it were to come to nothing?"
"It can't come to nothing, mother, and neither of us will be the worse for it, I trust. As to what I think about him, I don't feel as if I quite knew; and I don't think at present I need ask myself. I am afraid you think me very cool: and in truth I don't quite understand myself; but perhaps if one tries to do right as things come up, one may get on without understanding oneself. I don't think, so far as I can make out, St. Paul understood himself always. Miss Dasomma says a great part of music is the agony of the musician after the understanding of himself. I will try to do what is right--you may be sure of that, mother."
"I am sure of that, my dear--quite sure; and I won't trouble you more about it. You may imagine I should not like to see my Hester a love-sick maiden, pining and wasting away!"
"Depend upon It, mamma, if I found myself in that state no one else should discover it," said Hester, partly in play, but thoroughly in earnest.