We of the Never-Never Part 12

Almost every day we heard news of the teams from the now constant stream of travellers; and by the time the timber was all sawn and carted to the house to fulfil the many promises there, they were at the Katherine.

But if the teams were at the Katherine, so were the teamsters, and so was the Pub; and when teamsters and a pub get together it generally takes time to separate them, when that pub is the last for over a thousand miles. One pub at the Katherine and another at Oodnadatta and between them over a thousand miles of bush, and desert and dust, and heat, and thirst. That, from a teamster's point of view, is the Overland Route from Oodnadatta to the Katherine.

A pub had little attraction for the Sanguine Scot, and provided he could steer the other Macs safely past the one at the Katherine, there would be no delay there with the trunks; but the year's stores were on the horse teams and the station, having learnt bitter experience from the past, now sent in its own waggon for the bulk of the stores, as soon as they were known to be at the Katherine; and so the Dandy set off at once.

"You'll see me within a fortnight, bar accidents" he called back, as the waggon lurched forward towards the slip-rails; and the pub also having little attraction for the Dandy, we decided to expect him, "bar accidents." For that matter, a pub had little attraction for any of the Elsey men, the Quiet Stockman being a total abstainer, and Dan knowing "how to behave himself," although he owned to having "got a bit merry once or twice."

The Dandy out of sight, Johnny went back to his work, which happened to be hammering the curves out of sheets of corrugated iron.

"Now we shan't be long," he shouted, hammering vigorously, and when I objected to the awful din, he reminded me, with a grin, that it was "all in the good cause." When "smoothed out," as Johnny phrased it, the iron was to be used for capping the piles that the house was built upon, "to make them little white ants stay at home."

"We'll smooth all your troubles out, if you give us time," he shouted, returning to the hammering after his explanation with even greater energy. But by dinnertime some one had waddled into our lives who was to smooth most of the difficulties out of it, to his own, and our complete satisfaction.

Just as Sam announced dinner a cloud of dust creeping along the horizon attracted our attention.

"Foot travellers!" Dan decided; but something emerged out of the dust, as it pa.s.sed through the sliprails, that looked very like a huge mould of white jelly on horse-back.

Directly it sighted us it rolled off the horse, whether intentionally or unintentionally we could not say, and leaving the beast to the care of chance, unfolded two short legs from somewhere and waddled towards us--a fat, jovial Chinese John Falstaff.

"Good day, boss! Good day, missus! Good day, all about," he said in cheerful salute, as he trundled towards us like a ship's barrel in full sail. "Me new cook, me--" and then Sam appeared and towed him into port.

"Well, I'm blest!" Dan exclaimed, staring after him. "What HAVE we struck?"

But Johnny knew, as did most Territorians. "You've struck Cheon, that's all," he said. "Talk of luck! He's the jolliest old josser going."

The "jolliest old josser" seemed difficult to repress; for already he had eluded Sam, and, reappearing in the kitchen doorway, waddled across the thoroughfare towards us.

"Me new cook!" he repeated, going on from where he had left off. "Me Cheon!" and then, in queer pidgin-English, he solemnly rolled out a few of his many qualifications:

"Me savey all about," he chanted. "Me savey cook 'im, and gard'in', and milk 'im, and chuckie, and fishin' and shootin' wild duck." On and on he chanted through a varied list of accomplishments, ending up with an application for the position of cook. "Me sit down? Eh boss?" he asked, moon-faced and serious.

"Please yourself!" the Maluka laughed, and with a flash of white teeth and an infectious chuckle Cheon laughed and nodded back; then, still chuckling, he waddled away to the kitchen and took possession there, while we went to our respective dinners, little guessing that the truest-hearted, most faithful, most loyal old "josser" had waddled into our lives.

CHAPTER XI

Cheon rose at c.o.c.k-crow ("fowl-sing-out," he preferred to call it), and began his duties by scornfully refusing Sam's bland offer of instruction in the "ways of the homestead."

"Me savey all about," he said, with a majestic wave of his hands, after expressing supreme contempt for Sam's caste and ways; so Sam applied for his cheque, shook hands all round, and withdrew smilingly.

Sam's account being satisfactorily "squared," Cheon's name was then formally entered in the station books as cook and gardener, at twenty-five shillings a week. That was the only vacancy he ever filled in the books; but in our life at the homestead he filled almost every vacancy that required filling, and there were many.

There was nothing he could not and did not do for our good, and it was well that he refused to be instructed in anybody's ways, for his own were delightfully disobedient and unexpected and entertaining. Not only had we "struck the jolliest old josser going," but a born ruler and organiser into the bargain. He knew best what was good for us, and told us so, and, meekly bending to his will, our orders became mere suggestions to be entertained and carried out if approved of by Cheon, or dismissed as "silly-fellow" with a Podsnapian wave of his arm if they in no way appealed to him.

Full of wrath for Sam's ways, and bubbling over with trundling energy, he calmly appropriated the whole staff, as well as Jimmy, Billy Muck, and the rejected, and within a week had put backbone into everything that lacked it, from the water-b.u.t.ts to old Jimmy.

The first two days were spent in a whirlwind of dust and rubbish, turned out from unguessed-at recesses, and Cheon's jovial humour suiting his helpers to a nicety, the rubbish was dealt with amid shouts of delight and enjoyment; until Jimmy, losing his head in his lightness of heart, dug Cheon in the ribs, and, waving a stick over his head, yelled in mock fierceness: "Me wild-fellow, black fellow. Me myall-fellow."

Then Cheon came out in a new role. Without a moment's hesitation his arms and legs appeared to fly out all together in Jimmy's direction, completely doubling him up.

"Me myall-fellow, too," Cheon said calmly, master of himself and the situation. Then, chuckling at Jimmy's discomfiture, he went on with his work, while his helpers stared open-eyed with amazement; an infuriated Chinese catherine-wheel being something new in the experience of a black fellow. It was a wholesome lesson, though, and no one took liberties with Cheon again.

The rubbish disposed of, leaking water-b.u.t.ts, and the ruins of collapsed water-b.u.t.ts, were carried to the billabong, swelled in the water, hammered and hooped back into steadfast, reliable water-b.u.t.ts, and trundled along to their places in a merry, joyous procession.

With Cheon's hand on the helm, cream rose on the milk from somewhere. The meat no longer turned sour. An expert fisherman was discovered among the helpers--one Bob by name. Cheon's shot-gun appeared to have a magnetic attraction for wild duck. A garden sprang up as by magic, gra.s.shoppers being literally chased off the vegetables. The only thing we lacked was b.u.t.ter; and after a week of order and cleanliness and dazzlingly varied menus, we wondered how we had ever existed without them.

It was no use trying to wriggle from under Cheon's foot once he put it down. At the slightest neglect of duty, lubras or boys were marshalled and kept relentlessly to their work until he was satisfied; and woe betide the lubras who had neglected to wash hands, and pail and cow, before sitting down to their milking. The very fowls that laid out-bush gained nothing by their subtlety. At the faintest sound of a cackle, a dosing lubra was roused by the point of Cheon's toe, as he shouted excitedly above her: "Fowl sing out! That way! Catch 'im egg! Go on!"

pointing out the direction with much pantomime; and as the egg-basket filled to overflowing, he either chuckled with glee or expressed further contempt for Sam's ways.

But his especial wrath was reserved for the fowl-roosts over his sleeping quarters. "What's 'er matter! Fowl sit down close up kitchen!" he growled in furious gutturals, whenever his eyes rested on them; and as soon as time permitted he mounted to the roof and, boiling over with righteous indignation, hurled the offending roosts into s.p.a.ce.

New roosts were then nailed to the branches of a spreading coolibar tree, a hundred yards or so to the north of the buildings, the trunk encircled with zinc to prevent snakes or wild cats from climbing into the roosts; a movable ladder staircase made, to be used by the fowls at bedtime, and removed as soon as they were settled for the night, lest the cats or snakes should make unlawful use of it (Cheon always foresaw every contingency); and finally, "boys" and lubras were marshalled to wean the fowls from their old love.

But the weaning took time, and proved most entertaining; and while the fowls were being taught by bitter experience to bend to Cheon's will, the homestead pealed with shoutings and laughter.

Every evening the fun commenced about sundown, and the entire community a.s.sembled to watch it; for it was worth watching--fowls dodged, and scurried, and squawked, as the staff and the rejected, under Cheon's directions, chivied and danced and screamed between them and their desire, the lubras cheering to the echo every time one of the birds gave in, and stalked, cackling and indignant, up the ladder into the branches of the coolibar; or pursuing runaways that had outwitted them, in shrieking, pell-mell disorder, while Cheon, fat and perspiring, either shouted orders and cheered l.u.s.tily, bounded wrathfully alter both runaways and lubras, or collapsed, doubled up with uncontrollable laughter, at the squawk of amazement from fowls which, having gained their old haunt, had found Jimmy there waiting to receive them. As for ourselves, I doubt if we ever enjoyed anything better. A simple thing, perhaps, to amuse grown-up white folk--a fat, perspiring Chinaman, and eight or ten lubras chivying fowls; but it is this enjoyment of simple things that makes life in the Never-Never all it is.

Busy as he was, Cheon found time to take the missus also under his ample wing, and protect her from everything--even herself. "Him too muchee little fellow," he said to the Maluka, to explain his att.i.tude towards his mistress; and the Maluka, chuckling, shamefully encouraged him in his ways.

Every suggestion the missus made was received with an amused: "No good that way, missus! Me savey all about." Her methods with lubras were openly disapproved, and her gardening ridiculed to all comers: "White woman no good, savey gard'n," he reiterated, but was fated to apologise handsomely in that direction later on.

Still, in other things the white woman was honoured as became her position as never Sam had honoured her. Without any discrimination, Sam had summoned all at meal-times with a booming teamster's bell, thus placing the gentry on a level with the Quarters; but as Cheon pointed out, what could be expected of one of Sam's ways and caste? It was all very well to ring a peremptory bell for the Quarters--its caste expected to receive and obey orders; but gentry should be graciously notified that all was ready, when it suited their pleasure to eat; and from the day of Sam's departure, the House was honoured with a sing-song: "Din-ner!

Boss! Mis-sus!" at midday, with changes rung at "Bress-fa.s.s" or "Suppar"; and no written menu being at its service, Cheon supplied a chanted one, so that before we sat down to the first course we should know all others that were to come.

The only disadvantage we could a.s.sociate with his coming was that by some means Jimmy's Nellie had got on to the staff. No one seemed to know when or how it had happened, but she was there, firmly established working better than any one else, and Dan was demanding payment of his bets.

Cheon would not hear of her dismissal. She was his "right hand," he declared; and so I interviewed Nellie and stated my objections in cold, brutal English, only to hate myself the next moment; for poor Nellie, with a world of longing in her eyes, professed herself more than willing to wear "good fellow clothes" if she could get any.

"Missus got big mob," she suggested as a hint; and, although that was a matter of opinion and comparison, in remorse I recklessly gave her my only bath wrapper, and for weeks went to the bath in a mackintosh.

Nellie was also willing to use as much carbolic soap as the station could afford; but as the smoking and spitting proved more difficult to cope with, and I had discovered that I could do all the "housework" in less time than it took to superintend it, I made Cheon a present of the entire staff, only keeping a lien on it for the washing and scrubbing. The lubras, however, refused to be taken off my visitor's list and Cheon insisting on them waiting on the missus while she was attending to the housework, no one gained or lost by the transfer.

Cheon had a scheme all his own for dealing with the servant question: the Maluka should buy a little Chinese maiden to wait on the missus. Cheon knew of one in Darwin, going cheap, for ten pounds, his--COUSIN's child.

"A real bargain!" he a.s.sured the Maluka, finding him lacking in enthusiasm; "docile, sweet, and attentive," and yes, Cheon was sure of that "devoted to the missus," and also a splendid pecuniary investment (Cheon always had an eye on the dollars). Being only ten years of age, for six years she could serve the missus, and would then bring at least eighty pounds in the Chinese matrimonial market in Darwin--Chinese wives being scarce there. If she grew up moon-faced, and thus "good-looking,"

there seemed no end to the wealth she would bring us.

It took time to convince Cheon of the abolition of slavery throughout the Empire, and even when convinced, he was for buying the treasure and saying nothing about it to the Governor. It was not likely he would come in person to the Elsey, he argued, and, unless told, would know nothing about it.

But another fat, roundabout, roly-poly of humanity was to settle the servant question finally, within a day or two. "Larrikin" had been visiting foreign parts at Wandin, towards the west, and returning with a new wife, stolen from one "Jacky Big-Foot," presented her to the missus.

"Him Rosy!" he said, thus introducing his booty and without further ceremony Rosy requested permission to "sit down" on the staff. Like Cheon she carried her qualifications on the tip of her tongue: "Me savey scrub 'im, and sweep 'im, and wash 'im, and blue 'im, and starch 'im," she said glibly, with a flash of white teeth against a babyish pink tongue. She was wearing a freshly washed bright blue dress, hanging loosely from her shoulders, and looked so prettily jolly, clean, capable, and curly-headed, that I immediately made her housemaid and Head of the Staff.

"Great Scott!" the Maluka groaned, "that makes four of them at it!" But Rosy had appealed to me and I pointed out that it was a chance not to be missed and that she was worth the other three all put together. "Life will be a perennial picnic," I said, "with Rosy and Cheon at the head of affairs "; and for once I prophesied correctly.

Rosy, having been brought up among white folk, proved an adept little housemaid and Cheon looked with extreme favour upon her, and held her up as a bright and shining example to Jimmy's Nellie. But the person Cheon most approved of at the homestead was Johnny; for not only had Johnny helped him in many of his wild efforts at carpentry, but was he not working in the good cause?