The Ten Years When I Loved You So Chapter 4

 ch4

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He Zhishu's heart had long been shattered and no longer cares about it. His body and mind had consumed by a lie for the past fourteen years.

When Jiang Wenxu came out of the shower He Zhishu was already in bed. He came up to him and hugged him from behind. It was then that he noticed how thin He Zhishu's arms had gotten.

“Why are you so thin?” he asked.

“You eat less when you have no appt.i.te.” He Zhishu replied.

He Zhishu's expression was sad, but Jiang Wenxu did not see this. He bowed his head, kissed his back and teased He Zhishu.

“I am very tired, I don't want to do it.” He Zhishu leaned over and gently pushed Jiang Wenxu.

Jiang Wenxu was good looking enough for flirting, and he got to play with other partners when he was outside. But still, it made him uncomfortable when someone rejects his advances. Besides, He Zhishu had always been submissive to him and he could not help but wonder.

“Do you not want me anymore?” he asked.

He Zhishu turned off the lamp and said, “I just don't feel well. You should sleep.”

Jiang Wenxu was anxious. He knew that something was wrong with him, something that is not a trivial matter, something He Zhishu is hiding from him. But Jiang Wenxu did not dare ask, for he was guilty of cheating and his conscience choked him, and so he turned around and went to sleep.

He Zhishu had been suffering for insomnia for half a month now. He tries to sleep but his headache would not cease and only worsen. He thought he would be more comfortable with Jiang Wenxu beside him, but he was even more uncomfortable now. He suddenly recalls what his mother told him back then.

“Two men cannot fall in love. There is no legal protection for it and family members will not bless your union, not mention you can't have children. How long do you think your love will last? You draw your strength from others. When your lovers is far, your relationship will crumble.”

But He Zhishu is not willing to give up. He gently turned around and saw that Jiang Wenxu's sleep was peaceful. He gently rubbed his waist and whispered. “I don't care how long… I don't care if you 

cheat when you are outside… just don't let me see it.”

In instinct Jiang Wenxu grabbed He Zhishu and embraced him, his face in his chest.

“Zhishu…” he whispered.

He Zhishu's tear flowed down from his cheeks and dripped on the bed. He is willing to stay, even if it's just a dream.     

Back then it was Jiang Wenxu who pursued He Zhishu, and that all his life it was him he had prayed for. But when their careers were prospering Jiang Wenxu wanted him to stay at home. He knows that he is studying and doing housework and cooking to take care of Jiang Wenxu. The shares were also with Jiang Wenxu and he did not expect himself to go bankrupt. He Zhishu was not as rich as Jiang Wenxu's new love. Though he says he is considering it, in his mind He Zhishu thinks it is a waste of money to undergo the therapy. How much is because of fear? how much is not to lose face?

"Don't be so cruel to me... I didn't really get angry with you... if you to bully me again, this time you will never find me."

He felt it ridiculous to say.

Back then, had he not been with Jiang Wenxu, perhaps his life would've been different. Many relatives, many friends, and lovers, he might have had an easy life, a normal life.

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